Sunday, December 26, 2004

The Southlands.

Well everybody get mad at me if you want. You could have any number of reasons, but the best one is yes I have an american boycott and I'm going to Key West for New Year's Eve. So if You e-mailing me and getting no response that's why. Sorry to the all folks who are in town and won't be in town when I get back. Ooops. I got warmth to absorb. And cancer causing rays to avoid.

Se ya'll next year.

Today's Song of the Day is "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding off his 1968 Album "The Dock of the Bay."

Crazy Fact: Redding perished in a plane crash in Wisconsin on December 10, 1967, in an accident that also took the lives of four members from his backup band, the Bar-Kays.


Saturday, December 25, 2004

Buy Everything Day

Christmas means stuff, and lots of it. Here's hoping your got two scoops.

Today's Song of the Day is "It's Oh So Quiet" by Björk off her 1995 album "Post."

Crazy Fact: At the age of 11, her eponymous first album was released; the record contained covers of several pop songs, including the Beatles' "Fool on the Hill," and boasted artwork from her mother and guitar work from her stepfather. Björk became a hit within Iceland and was not released in any other country.


Friday, December 24, 2004

We Doan Need No Steenkeen' Baadges.

Maybe I'm just getting old but, I'm never taking a shower again.

Well, not untill spring anyway. I got the heaviest case of face dandruff I've ever seen. It was monsterous. Then I had to smear this 'moisterizer' grease all over my face. Have you heard of this stuff? It's awful and smelly and greasy and nasty. Well going without showers means all natural face grease. Two scoops of all natural face grease for me.

Maybe If I stop showering I can sell my face grease and hair grease scrapings at the mall in my very own kiosk. That would be a pretty sweet gig, huh? It would take quite some time to scrape enough to fill a jar though, hmm. I guess I could cut it with margerine or something.

Or I could get a factory of the unwashed to scrape and save there personal grease.


Today's Song of the Day is "Lonesome Town" by Ricky Nelson off his 1959 Album "Ricky Sings Again."

Crazy Fact: He died (along with his fiancée) in a private plane crash on December 31, 1985, on his way to a New Year's Eve gig in Dallas, at the age of 45.


Thursday, December 23, 2004

I Call This Christmas Vacation at Home

I'm often braver when I sleep. I'm lying in bed half asleep, thinking about my day what I'm going to do what I'm going to say, how this time I'm going to take it all the way. and then when it comes to it, I open my e-mail to say it to them or sit in front of that formidable task, I sit, ready, perched on the edge of action, but my cowardly brain has run elsewhere, to the fridge, to check the mail, to call a friend and finally there rest of me gets up and follows and I seem to follow my brain around like that for the rest of the day.

Today's Song of the Day is "Don't Do It" by The Band off their 1972 album "Rock Of Ages."

Crazy Fact: This is a cover?! I had no idea. It's an old Lamont Dozier/Brian Holland Motown tune, crazy.


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Wake up little piffy.

I hate waking up all disoriented on someones couch (or worse.) You go on with your day but you feel like an alien. I have to go home and sit still and try to pretend I got up there, set centered. it doesn't always work. Like today it no working. I'm an alien, with a headache, reeking up cigarette smoke. Well my stomach an alien alright. It has no idea what to do with me. confused, not quite unhappy, but moody it could be if I don't treat it nice.

Today's Song of the Day is "Give It Away" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers off their 1991 album 'Blood Sugar Sex Magik.'

Crazy Fact: I'm sleepy I don't want to remember a crazy fact. 1991 was a really cool year for music, though.


Sunday, December 19, 2004

We Are In This Together, Enjoy the Ride.

waay back in the sixties when I was a girl things were different we didn't need any of these awful fact-checkers and investigative commitees. People just plain told the truth and when they didn't, well we had the decentcy to believe them anyway. Let's look at this they were important and it would do them an injustice to question or disbelieve a person in authority. Why can't kids today learn that we all in this together. That the truth isn't going to help a damn one of us. There's a madman at the wheel and the engine is on fire. we are losing altitude by the second and diving into stockpile of russian nuclear warheads. Who NEEDS to know this? Just sit in your seat, try to ignore your neighbour, breathe from the mask, turn up the volume on the headphones and pretend like nothings happening, that way we can all die in an orderly fashion without all that unsightly emotion and difficulty.

Ignore that bunch of miscrents up front chanting and picketing by the cockpit, there 'awareness rasing' will just upset your digestion. Don't join there dissentful chorus, no! join the chorus of silent participation. This whole death thing will be pretty quick and painless don't worry, you won't feel a thing. It would be like it didn't even happen, you'll head to those pearly gates eye's closed, utterly unaware, without fear or discomfort. Why would you want to see how it all ends? Utter foolishness. Look this extinction thing has to happen ever couple million years so really it's no big deal. It's natural.

Today's Song of the Day is "Exit Music (For A Film)" by Radiohead off their 1997 album "OK Computer."

Crazy Fact: In 1993, Radiohead toured the U.S. opening for Tears for Fears.


Saturday, December 18, 2004

Die With Your Glasses On.

Well while I'm on the topic, what kind of coward wants to die in their sleep or says 'as long as it's not painful' Don't get me wrong I don't want to die like Braveheart or anything, but without a pot of pain who would you know you were dying? What's that smell? Oh Shit that was the Aroma of Death, shit. Now I'm Dead, Fuck! I miss everything. dammit!

I imagine those last few moments that you KNOW is the last few moments would the most precious. Can you IMAGINE the regrets that would come flooding in? I'm going to die wearing THESE pants or Fuck, I shoulda heaved the diet and had that doughnut this morning or why didn't I go to Paris, I should've forgot about that damn stereo or Paris kinda sucked, I should at least bought a decent stereo or man-o-man I can't BELEIVE I'm going to die with 24 dollars and 30 cents in my bank account, what a waste I could've taken a friend to a movie or SOMETHING.

eye's open baby. And it better be interesting because I've waited and built-up to this moment for my WHOLE life and if I get distracted by the TV or some girls breasts I'll be mad as hell. Make that last ride Loud and Fast and Dangerous with a Big Light show at the end that I keep hearing is 'SOoo GREat' well it better be 'cause it's the last light show I'm ever gonna see and I don't really want my life to be anti-climatic, it would be a lame waste of a perfectly good life and more importantly MINE. And this puppy is pretty important to me.

Today's Song of the Day is "In My Life" by The Beatles off their 1965 album "Rubber Soul."

Crazy Fact: I hope Ringo is the last to go.


Friday, December 17, 2004

Prince of Pop is Crazy Good.

I was listening to the song a couple days ago and it yet again struck me, wow is this ever a great song. What would the eighties be without prince? It's like a Prince versus Jacko freak-off. Prince is crazy craazy crazzzy and jacko is fuckin' wacked. I think prince keeps his dignity, crazy but reserved, prince is what Jacko wants to be.

anyway dig it, it's fan-fucking-tastic.

Today's Song of the Day is "Little Red Corvette" by Prince off his 1983 album "1999."

Crazy Fact: I don't even know where to start.


Thursday, December 16, 2004

Schools Out

Wow. done. sweet. excellent. finally. jesus.

It's a total flip flop.

I'm finding myself blankly staring at, well, anything with a giant smile on my face, mind a total blank. Yesterday, I found myself staring at an exam, mind a total blank, with a scowl on my face. Nice to be my old self again. I wasn't sure how much farther I could bend without snapping. All is well.

Time to hit the sauce amd get my groove on.

Today's Song of the Day is "Groove is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite off there 1990 album "World Clique."

Crazy Fact:Lady Miss Kier, Super DJ Dmitry and Jungle DJ Towa Towa were joined by the ex-James Brown/ex-Parliment bassist Bootsy Collins for this track. not too crazy but s'all I gots.


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

A Brain with No Vacancy.

If I have to cram one more new thing into this brain... The top of my head is going to pop off and it's all going fizz and pop like an agitated beer. see! SEE! I said 'agitated' what happened to my stupid words like 'allshookeyshakey beer' damn scienceses. There smartifying me, hey! that's better. smartifying is good. ok anyway enough already, jesus I can't fill my brain with ANY more new words like 'amphibole' or 'for(int i=0;i=array.length;i++)' or 'eudimonia (er whatever)' we are all full up. No vacancies mister, your going to have to find somewhere else to sleep, somewhere else to sell your goddamned encyclopedia's we are closed for christmas.

I'm just sick of trying to be alone and quiet and stuffing my brain with new shit. It's so unnatural.

Today's Song of the Day is "Tired of Being Alone" by Al Green off his 1971 Album "Gets Next to You."

Crazy Fact: At the height of his popularity, Green's former girlfriend, Mrs. Mary Woodson, broke into his Memphis home in October 1974 and poured boiling grits on the singer as he was bathing, inflicting second-degree burns on his back, stomach and arm; after assaulting Green, she killed herself with his gun. Green interpreted the violent incident as a sign from God that he should enter the ministry. By 1976, he had bought a church in Memphis and had become an ordained pastor of the Full Gospel Tabernacle.


Monday, December 13, 2004

I'm Glad I'll be Dead 200 Years From Now.

weird song I like it, check it out. It's swingin'

I think it's strange that at one time 'the kids are into swing' means they're going to hell, or playing that D and D, or how Elvis was going to damn their souls, or bebop. To me it sounds like the bad old days of burning witches or walking to school through driving snow or World Wars or plagues wiping out a third of the population of every city in europe, or a fire that burns the whole city down, was hell. You know, shit like that doesn't happen these days. Can you imagine if a plague wiped out a third of the population of New York City or one third of all of North America? Or if there brought back public executions by burning? or The Andrew Sisters and the Mills Brothers. Jumpin' Jesus!

Conservative Dude, you are so wrong. Your world sux. You hold on to your sucky world of sexism and racism, hold you're self-righteousness, ignorance and intollerance as tight as you can as close to your heart as possible. Hold on to it until the very end, 'cause I don't want it, take it to the grave with you and we can bury both your asses at once. Can you imagine what kind of an asshole your great great great great grandfather was? He was from like 1720 or 1790 or someshit and all into slavery, or the monarchy and beating his wife and racism, homophobia and all kinds of crap. Even if he was on the vanguard he was still so waaay backward it would be hard to look him in the eye.

anyway really old dead conservative dude, or not so conservative dude really old dude, you were wrong, the world hasn't gone to hell and kids today wasn't the problem. It was you. We don't burn witches anymore and that's for the best. So I, for one, am glad your dead and not voting anymore. And by the way most of your music stank to high heaven.

The worst part of this is if you disagree with me you're getting old and if you agree with me, you WILL get old and think the worlds going to hell. and worse STILL... so will I. I'll think I was so foolish in my youth and blame kids today, hell, I'm starting.

Oh well life sucks (and you don't know it and then you figure it out) and then you die.

Today's Song of the Day is "(Otto Make That) Riff Staccato" by Duke Ellington released in 1945.

Crazy Fact: Duke, was the son of a White House butler, James Edward Ellington.


Sunday, December 12, 2004

I'm Old Like Cheese, So Are You.

I'm really looking forward to friends coming into town for the holidays. It's a really good time. The older I get the softer and more sentimental I become. I think it's for this reason that old rockers suck so hard. There not stupid enough anymore to write great rock songs like 'Black Dog' or 'Get off my Cloud' or 'My Generation' or 'Highway to Hell' great, but not great literature, I love them more than any of you but they are so loaded with youthful disregard, so self-obsessed and tasteless.

Anyway just like Pete, Mick, Robert, I'm getting old. A part of that means getting sentimental for songs that curtain old roommates drove me crazy with, by playing on repeat every day and singing at the top of her lungs for eight long months, in harmony, only ever in harmony. And then learning on the guitar (or was that your "if you break-up with me I'll kill myself" boyfriend, kids never change) and then having a party and playing it and singing it with TWO people singing the harmony. I would bash my head against the wall just to break up the monotony and kill the memories. And for the next ten years every time I'd hear it I throw my fists in the sky attempting to threaten the entire universe in the biggest 'so sick of that song' gesture any human can possibly express.

Oddly, I've softened up in my old age. Now, just a few years later, I listen to the song think fondly of my mind melting frustration, smile and reflect upon my wild fits of rage. So now that I haven't seen you in exactly one million years hope when I do see you over Christmas you're singing that song, just so I can feel like youthful aggravation, for old times sake.

This one's for you E.V.

Today's Song of the Day is "Closer To Fine" by The Indigo Girls off there 1989 album "Indigo Girls."

Crazy Fact: In addition to her work as part of the Indigo Girls, Amy Ray also set up and presides over Daemon Records, a nonprofit label to nurture new talent with an emphasis on like-minded singer/songwriters.


Saturday, December 11, 2004

The End is Near.

What the HELL? The power company keeps sending ME checks? What the hell is that about? for like 200 hundred bucks? It feels so unatural, I just stare at them, it's like a government check, but aren't I supposed to pay them? it's like you see a ghost or like the river is running backwards. You shake your head, rub your eyes and look again. no it's not a bill. well hell I guess I'm just gonna have to cash it and pay them back later. You KNOW it's a mistake but hell I deserve a christmas check or two, wha? Can you imagine if its legit? I never be able to enjoy it. I'll be eighty and still thinking about this, thinking when are they going to ask for that money back?

Today's Song of the is "The Payback" by James Brown off his 1973 album "The Payback."

Crazy Fact: James Brown lost his son in a fatal automobile accident that June before the release of this album.


Friday, December 10, 2004

New Interest in Old News.

ok I KNOW friendster is SO 2002 but I want more friends! I filled that thing out Ages ago and forgot about until recently and now I'm getting really obbessive about having more friends. So I want you all to be my friends, Please...

be my friend.

Today's Song of the Day is "With A Little Help From My Friends" by Joe Cocker off his 1969 album "With A Little Help From My Friends."

Crazy Fact: The orginally started with the name Vance Arnold.


Thursday, December 09, 2004


What really represents the greatness of a government? I think one way to look at it would be the nation whose people have the most freedoms. As long as it does no harm, the greatest nation is one with the greatest of freedoms given to it's people. Canada just made one awesome step in that direction. You can get married now. if you both want to, no matter what. You can also choose not to. It's seems pretty basic. sweet.

Today's Song of the Day is "Overture to "Marriage Of Figaro" performed by The Hamburg Symphony Orchestra, composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in 1786.

Crazy Fact: Mozart died only 3 years after his father.


Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Stop the bus.

dude, I can't believe they are poisoning each other in the Ukraine. Did you see the before and after pictures of that guy? Good lord he looks awful. POISON! what the hell? It sounds like a spy novel or a movie not real life. what the hell? People in power will do terrible things to stay in power, that's the beginning and end of it. Like check this out:

"In a famous case, a Bulgarian dissident, Georgi I. Markov, was killed with poison in 1978 by the Bulgarian secret service, apparently to silence his broadcasts on the British Broadcasting Corporation. At a London bus stop, an agent using a spring-loaded umbrella injected into Mr. Markov's leg a platinum pellet that contained a dose of ricin. He died after three days of intense fever and vomiting."

What a way to go. god. This planet sux, lemmie off.

an I'll tell ya, I like the bus less and less all the time.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Great Gig In The Sky" by Pink Floyd off their 1972 album "Dark Side of the Moon."

Crazy Fact: A presidential candate was poisoned. Why bother voting? this is NUTS!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Stop the bus.

dude, I can't believe they are poisoning each other in the Ukraine. Did you see the before and after pictures of that guy? Good lord he looks awful. POISON! what the hell? It sounds like a spy novel or a movie not real life. what the hell? People in power will do terrible things to stay in power, that's the beginning and end of it. Like check this out:

"In a famous case, a Bulgarian dissident, Georgi I. Markov, was killed with poison in 1978 by the Bulgarian secret service, apparently to silence his broadcasts on the British Broadcasting Corporation. At a London bus stop, an agent using a spring-loaded umbrella injected into Mr. Markov's leg a platinum pellet that contained a dose of ricin. He died after three days of intense fever and vomiting."

What a way to go. god. This planet sux, lemmie off.

an I'll tell ya, I like the bus less and less all the time.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Great Gig In The Sky" by Pink Floyd off their 1972 album "Dark Side of the Moon."

Crazy Fact: A presidential candate was poisoned. Why bother voting? this is NUTS!

Ma, I'm Only Sleeping.

Oh sleep, sleep glorious sleep. I'm loving this classess over business. I'm sleeping 12 hours a day and so much happier for it good lord.

Here's a fucked up crazy fact of life. I just found out that a lack of sleep makes you fat. The less sleep you get the more weight you put on. I think sleep is about the healthiest thing going. It's the barometer of your life. It your sleep sucks your life sucks.

OK you know those times those perfect moments when you wake up in silence with a smile on your face, in perfect comfort. No alarm, no panic, no nothing. Your on vaction or something. You open your eyes, smile, close them, sleep. You open them, smile your lazy smile, roll over and there's a severed head! no just kidding. you stretch and flop, you feel so so good you go down stairs and someone asks you "How did you sleep?" and that when you realize that you just had the most restful perfect sleep... maybe ever. It undoes the damage of 100 missed deadlines, 4 traffic accidents, 25 toe stubbings, 2 major romantic dissapoints, 12 cruel remarks from others, and 2 years of people forgetting your birthday. aahh damn... it makes me want to go back to bed.

Today's Song of the Day is "Golden Slumbers" by The Beatles off their 1969 album "Abbey Road."

Crazy fact: Paul McCartney bites, bites, bites.


Monday, December 06, 2004

Bed is Better.

I heard once that if the first 2.5 hours of the day go well your probably going to say the day went well at the end of the day, whereas if one thing goes wrong in that first 2 hours, you day is for shit. go back to bed and try again. Oh my god I should have gone to bed after the first 15 minutes this morning. fuck.

You know your truly having a bad when you say to yourself well, nothing can make this day any better. Go hide in you room until it passes. There's no hope anymore. when you say well nothing can make it only worse, that's hope. It not true, somthing can ALWAYS make it worse.

Just go back to bed, call in sick, skip your classes, let the kids starve, let the insane run the asylum for just one day, you'll be better off. Take a sedative, escape anyway you can.

I'm going to take this too far I can tell: If I get up and stub my toe. I'll call it a day. If the floor is cold I'll jump back in bed and try again. if the air smells bad, if the suns in your eyes. whatever, you name it.

'Nuke the site from orbit it's the only way to be sure.'

Today's Song of the Day is "Going Down The Road Feeling Bad" by Elizabeth Cotten from her 1958 recordings off "Freight Train & Other North Carolina Folk Songs And Tunes."

Crazy Fact: She was born in 1893. She continued to work as a domestic until she was 70.


Sunday, December 05, 2004

It's My Birthday and I'll Care if I Want To.

I made it to 32. Wow. Who would have thunked it. I'm caring less and less about all 'special' days. Birthday's, Christmas whatever. It's totally losing it's appeal. I'm not sure why. I don't really care about stuff so much, the stuff I've got seems to be doing the job. It a great excuse to hit the town or have a party, but, hell I do that all the time. no biggie.

I'm a young Mr. Scrooge at this point.

That would be really cool. I would totally be a miserable piece of shit for most of my life for the opportunity to meet three spirits and have a huge life altering experience like that. He's lucky, that's what I always thought. I was jealous. He got to travel through time and see himself as young when he was old. That is super fucking cool. I'll save up my whole life for that trip, I guess you have to, that's the point of the story isn't?

But would those spirits be pissed at me when they wake me up.

"I am the spirit of christma-'

"finally! fuck! I didn't know how much longer I could keep this miser shit up. DAMN! ok so here's the schedule I have it all worked out."

"I am the spir-'

'hey shut it, I'm talking. I put a lot of working into this and I'd like to a least look at my plans."

"...I am-"

"Look buster! This isn't about you. ok? It's about me. You do this all the time, not me. For me, this is a very special moment."


"I think it's time we started a dialogue here, ok? Are you LISTENING to me? I'm here too, ok."


"ok good I think I have your attention. jeeze, were you standing behind the door when they were handing out the sensitivity."


"Can we look at my plans now?"

"...I guess."

"Good. Isn't this better? see? We can put our heads together, empower each other."

"This job, is getting weirder."

"So what? How do you think I feel? I can't believe your saying this to me. I have ghosts trying to scare me into 'the good life.' I'm terrified over here."


Today's Song of the Day is "Highway To Hell" by AC/DC off "Highway To Hell" which was released in 1979.

Crazy Fact: Over-played, I agree. But there will always be something honest in this song that makes it bigger than that. The honesty in this song is that this is the song that killed lead singer Bon Scott. 6 months after it's release Bon Scott's lifeless body was discovered in a car outside a party he had attended. He has drunk himself to death. The party till you die, 'hedonism as damnation' theme he sung about he lived and it killed him. creepy.


Saturday, December 04, 2004

No Comment (for Once)

Hey. my birthday is tomarrow!

(a long very pause)

Today's Song of the Day is "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" by Tom Waits off his 1992 album "Bone Machine."

Crazy Fact: I met his step-daughter at a party. it was weird. she told me he struggled to maintain the old drunk image now that he was rich. It gave him the worry.


Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Sex Pistols USA

George bush is like sid vicious. His whole band left him cause he sucked SO HARD. Colon Powel, (definitely Johnny Rotten) John Ashcroft, all those fools, all the brains and talent' left, all we got is an ignorant snearing, junkie bassist, with a weird accident. I can just see Condasleeza Rice with a tonne of make up on as Nancy screaming 'SIIIIID!' like in 'Sid and Nancy.' We are left with a self-destructive moron with enough attitude and ego to sink the whole ship. Unfortunately that's why they like him, his swaggering, uncontrollable ego. The USA is SO punk. Those crazy purtians always keep you guessing don't they.

OK OK Read this and tell me it doesn't describe George Bush perfectly:

"...According to his myth, Vicious' demise was destiny from the start, as he chose the path of destruction and lived it to the hilt, breaking all "the rules" out of total disrespect, destroying himself and everything around him out of frustration with the hollowness of existence... To his peers -- and even his bandmates -- Vicious was something of a sad sack, deficient in both intelligence and common sense, essentially a sweet soul easily led into stupidity and flights of egomania..."

nuff said.

Today's Song of the Day is "My Way" by Sid Vicious of the 1978 album "The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle."

Crazy Fact: At a truck stop on the way to Tulsa, a trucker put a cigarette out on his hand and challenged Vicious to do the same, so Vicious sliced his own hand open and calmly continued eating. crazy.


Tuesday, November 30, 2004

A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush.

Why does Bush get two birds? I'm I talking about Bush's bird? And why is my bird in my hand while I'm talking about Bush's bird? Change-up! Turn the Page! New tactic!

When I first heard I was like "Why Halifax?" the more I think about it the worst it gets.

Tonnes of Offshore Oil
Voted DOWN sunday shopping
One of only TWO navy bases in the country
9/11 planes landed here
conservative backwater.


Why do I live here?

Today's Song of the Day is "Backwater Blues (That Mean Ol' Twister)" by Lightnin' Hopkins off his 1946 ablum "Morning Blues."

Crazy Fact: In 1946 Hopkins paired with pianist Wilson "Thunder" Smith, and then re-named himself "Lightnin'."


Monday, November 29, 2004

Free Horse, Huh? Lemmie See It's Teeth.

What the HELL?! When did professors turn into a buncha pansies? I went into school today all ready to pull out a totally fabricated sob story to get an extension and... he went and gave us all one, this is the second time! I struggled like hell to fail to get something done on time and it has been pushed back 5 days or a week. Yes my prayers were answered, uttered in the darkest midnight of my procrastination to my unholy masters. Who knew he listened? Damn soul! I done lost it again. but it pisses me off. How am i going to learn any discipline if every deadline is only a jesus recommendation.

Now I have to more days of procrastinating HELL before I use that crazy excuse I've concocted.

Today's Song of the Day is "(I can't get no) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones off their 1965 album "Out of Our Heads."

Crazy Fact: Keith Richards, who had devised the fuzz riff that the song was built upon, was afraid the riff was too similar to the one used on Martha and the Vandellas' "Dancing in the Street." Whatever Keith, if you smoke enough pot it's sounds like Happy Birthday too.


Sunday, November 28, 2004

nothing under this dunce cap but shame and failure

I'd rather be sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on. I'd rather stare at a bug on the other side of my window, I'd rather pack, unpack, clean, e-mail friends, watch a movie, tv, sleep, eat ANYTHING but do this paper. I'm procrastinating like i've got a death wish. I'm am fiercely pursueing my failure here. running through excuses to use on my professor. sometimes I'm standing totally still in the middle of my room thinking absolutely nothing at all. just not doing the paper. I've haven't procrastinated like this in years. probably not since the last time I had to write a paper. it's amazing. I'm gonna call up Betty Crocker because I've just about perfected this recipe for failure. i suck.

favourite procrastination line of all time: When I get the feeling to do something, I lie down until the feeling goes away.

Today's Song of the Day is "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" by The Velvet Underground off there 1970 album "Loaded."

Crazy Fact: Lou Reed left the band shortly before this albums release.


Saturday, November 27, 2004

Smoke Nazis On The Horizon.

Nothing worse then an ex-smoker. We're like born again Christians, either trying to show people the light or pounding the bible with hell 'n' damnation. I never thought I'd be a smoke nazi but it's happening. I totally am. I'm starting to feel like you can just slap them for no reason. it's weird. but at the same time if I go out I'm most comfortable in the smoking room. I have no idea what is up with that i get up the next morning I feel and smell like I've smoking a pack of cigarettes, weird. I guess it the born-again non-smoker being chartable to the damn, hanging-out with the 'less fortunates.' poor smokers, you're all going to the cancer-ward to die. I'll try to save you from this living hell. Let you be HEALED! I was lost and now I'm found. The addicts are the blind, the sheep and i'm the shepard, show them the path to freedom. or it's just that smokers are more fun.

Today's Song of the Day is "I Saw The Light" by Hank Williams off his 1952 album "Hank Williams Sings."

Crazy Fact: Hank Williams musical education was provided by a local blues street singer, Rufus Payne, who was called Tee Tot. From Tee Tot, this is where he learned how to play the guitar and sing the blues.


Friday, November 26, 2004

Week Over

Here's a TGIF song if I ever heard one. I don't care WHO I have to thank, Hell! Thank George W Bush it's Friday. I thought this week was going to kill me. It still might. I'm mean it's 1:30 Friday Morning and I have classes tomarrow and I'm still working on S H I T.

Anyway, listen on loud and get head-bop happy.

Today's Song of the Day is "Block Rockin' Beats" by The Chemical Brothers off their 1997 Album "Dig Your Own Hole."

Crazy Fact: This was the first electronica Album to Go Platinum in the U.S.


Thursday, November 25, 2004

The Older You Get The More People Stay the Same.

I wonder what it's like to be an old woman. There were four of them sitting with tea cups attentively in front of them. Only one of them talked. The others sit and nod. "...Well, Mother wouldn't have appreciated what I said next..." They smile big white grandma smiles. One of them, less veiled, than the others fades out, looking just a little more to the left and a downward, thinking about something very different then the rest. She rests her hand on the table holding the tea cup like the rest, sitting up just like the rest, smiling and nodding like the rest, (a little late but still within the bounds of polite company) but it's clear she is not in the same place. I'm not sure if she was sad, but whatever she was feeling it was subtle.

The woman talking seemed pleasent enough, she talked through three entire Philosophy articles.

Today's Song of the Day is "I'm a Woman" by Jim Kweskin & the Jug Band (featuring Maria D'Amator) of their 1965 album "Jug Band Music."

Crazy Fact: Jim Kweskin travelled throughout the United States from 1959-1962 collecting songs and put together the first incarnation of his Jug Band when he returned to Boston in 1963.


Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Determinism Helps Me R E L A X .

I wrote a test, for geology, and I was totally unprepared. I got caught of guard. I just sorta took ate two smarties and went in with a brain full of hope, but nuthin' else. Oddly I did better on this one then on the one's I studied for.

That's bad on the Head.

(A ghostly voice drifts in with the lame 60s reverb cranked) "Don't study pif... go have a beer... you'll do better...can't you see?"

"Yeah weird little devil with the reverb mic on my sholder... I think your right, again!"

Unfortnately it reminded of a story from my first time around when I asked Dr. Merritt what I should do to prepare myself for his much-feared uber-brutal final exam in Dramaturgy (yeah you read it right) "Well, either you know it, or you don't... so I guess do what you normally do on a Friday Night." License to Kill.

So I find Dave and tell him drinks are on me on two conditions, first, he has to make sure I get to the Exam at 9 AM and second, with every drink he takes he has to tell me a dramaturgical fact. The night was a blur. The clearest image I have is of Dave nearly green standing at the door of the Exam room the next morning kinda stunned and kinda stumbling, "...Well... you are...I'm going back to bed...sucker..."

I got an 'A'.

Time to read.

Today's Song of the Day is "Symphony No. 5: i. Allegro con brio" composed by Ludwig van Beethoven (or something) in 1808, here conducted by Herbert Von Karajan and performed by The Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.

Crazy Fact: You know this Symphony is subtitled "Fate"? I think that's pretty cool.


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Who's Driving This Rig?

Who the fuck was the Sadist who invented Tic Tac Toe? Fucker! My life sucks right now because of him/her/it. I don't know if you know this but... you can't win. Against a five year old maybe, or someone in a coma probably, but otherwise, you can't win! Shouldn't this be taken OUT of the 'game' category. I mean if you always tie, it's not a game. It's like playing rock scissors paper in the mirror (I hate that guy!) or taking the scissors and paper out and playing for a few weeks. Does that sound like fun to you?


WHY Pif?!

WHY the FUCK do YOU CARE!?! (you, the studio audience, have often thought this to yourself and many have verbalized it.)

I'll TELL you WHY.

Because this fact has thrown everything I've worked for, everything I've dreamed about into UTTER chaos (not pronounced 'chows' I'm told. Then WHY did they spell it that way!? See now that's ANOTHER thing! right there, I shake my fist and curse at you... but I digress, yet again...) How can I walk even one more step on my chosen path? When I can't write a computer program that can win at tic tac toe or most importantly NOT LOSE! I must! Supposedly I want to do AI and I can't even make a computer smarter than a guy in a coma? dude. this is NOT cool. not cool.

Today's Song of the Day is "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak off his 1989 album "Heart Shaped World."

Crazy Fact: He began an acting career with a bit part in Jonathan Demme's 1988 film, Married to the Mob; he would later have parts in Wild at Heart, and The Silence of the Lambs.


Monday, November 22, 2004

Too Busy to Properly Rant

I'm so glad I'm not in Jail.
I'm also glad I don't do herion.

Today's Song of the Day is "Doin' Time" by Sublime off there 1996 debut album "Sublime."

Crazy Fact: Sublime's eponymous major-label debut arrived a few months after the band's leader, Brad Nowell, died tragically of a heroin overdose.


Sunday, November 21, 2004

I Think I Am. I Think I Am.

Lamest band to ever release 26 self-titled Albums. They are also the lamest band in a lot of other catagories like lamiest 2nd most successful American band of all time (according to Billboard). Lamest band with seven members. Lamest band still together from the Sixities. Lamest band to be in the top-ten best selling bands of all time. What about producing the LAMEST solo career of the 80s? Can you guess yet? think really really double-LAME. How about lamest band to ever change from a kinda cool name to a LAME place name band after there first album. OK there's a good hint. unfortunatly ALL place name bands are lame LA guns? lame. Boston? Lame. Toronto. pffft, who? L A M E. America? Lame. Hamburg Symphony Orchestra? uber-lame. The Hartford Whalers. Lame. and while I'm on the topic Paul McCartney. lame. Strange because I liked Dallas when it was on, but then again I liked the Dukes of hazzard and MASH when I was a kid. Oh Alan, you broke my heart. I thought you were the deepest, funniest man ever but no you weren't your were LAME. curse you retro cable TV if it wasn't for you i would never have know anyway.. I digress. I really don't know a single song they did all I know its that they are LAME. Here's a song a cool band did and this LAME band covered on their debut album.

Just GOOGLE: lame band

Today's Song of the Day "I'm A Man" by Spencer Davis Group off their 1967 album "I'm A Man."

Crazy Fact: Stevie Winwood left the band just before this album was released.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

Times They are a-Changin'

Things have changed a little. I remembering taking flak EVERYTIME I would mention I liked Ani Difranco. So everytime I mentioned it I was ready for a fight, so if I wasn't ready for a fight, I wouldn't mention it. This is not the case anymore. I dig in my heels, mention it and nothing, just a 'oh yeah, she's alright.'

Usually I have to get into the feminist/man-hater argument-thing, that to be honest I'm not really all that happy to get in. Sure, she got some angry songs, well so do the Rolling Stones, whateva. anyway, I'm not having the conversation anymore, because it's stale and it seems I don't have to. People have grown up.

Today's Song of the Day is "You Had Time" by Ani Difranco off her 1994 album "Out of Range."

Crazy Fact: From 1991 to 1995 DiFranco played over 200 dates a year, touring totally alone, driving herself around the continent in her Volkswagen.


Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Connect the Ear Bone to the Mouth Bone.

I like this song. I've always liked this song... a little too much. I don't know why. Every once in a while a song sort comes along that I really like and know really really well, like, I can sing all the lyrics with the song, but I haven't listened to a word. It's purely an aesthetic experience. Mouth going, Ears hearing, having a great time, not listening to a word. weird. I think it puts me in a bit of a trance. That's all I got I'm too busy wit school.

Today's Song of the Day is "Shout" by Tears For Fears off their 1985 album "Songs from the Big Chair"

Crazy Fact: They wrote this whole album about there experiences with shock, er, primal scream therapy... cry babies. Screaming about it is going to get you anywhere. How'd they ever think of the title this song. Come on boys have those LAME hair cuts gone to your head? Stop shouting and THINK for once, Jesus! "think, think, hold it all in, these are the things I think I can handle. Come on, Come on."


Monday, November 15, 2004

Home of the Best and of the Worst.

America. There is so much to say. It's bizzarro world, everything is exactly the same, almost. Every once in a while it turns into a David Lynch film. Everyone looks like they're under floresent lights. It's like being trapped in a strip mall. Almost outside, Almost inside, almost safe an awning and a parking lot to save you from the truth. You go store to store never finding exactly what you need, but there's lots of stuff that's close and cheaper. Maybe you buy it and then figure out it's not what you need so you chuck it and keep looking. If you ever stop thinking about yourself and what it is exactly that your looking for you might look up for a second. You'll see all these people, under that bearely flickering, slightly green, cheap industrial lighting, shifty-eyed searching for a weakness, for someone to blame for the piles of discarded 'almosts' around everyone's feet. They toe a line of scared and guilty to self-righteous and accusitory. Fearful of being blamed, waiting for someone to blame for this cheap life the've been sold, for the bad idea's the've swallowed under that false flickering light, quick to anger, quick to fear. In this state, they miss so much, they accept so much. Anything outside the endless mall, the harsh whispers and that greenish, slightly flickering light.

Today's Song of the Day is "People Are Strange" by The Doors off there 1967 album "Strange Days."

Crazt Fact: They made this movie about the door and Val kilmer played Jim Morrison, no lie and Meg Ryan was in it to, crazy wha? Ok ok how about this people take 'pilgrimages' to Jim Morrison grave. weird.


Friday, November 12, 2004

Love Potion Number Four

Ok so I was gleefully trapped in a cabin in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with four other guys with a very limited selection of activities on the menu. This was the mission we all accepted. To only have a very limited selection of activities so we would do those activities as much as possible without distraction. Those activities were: play geeky games, play guitar, drink, eat, sit in the hot tub or sit on dock and chill on the lake 'n' mountain vista. We were all pretty happy about this. The phone didn't ring once (ok ONCE) there was no computers, no homework, no TV, no people we didn't know, no nothin' no how.

This had unforeseen side effects.

The most stand out in my mind was on Sunday morning when we were headed home, we stopped briefly to get supplies for the ride home. A whole part of my brain that was shut-down for days caused a nearly overwhelming power drain at is went through it's start-up cycle. I stopped dead in my tracks in the middle of a parking lot, sort of twitching. I didn't even know what happened. It was a physical reaction... I literally almost fell over when I saw a woman. Hello mister libido we've been a little bored, a little under stimulated for a change. I had no idea it would effect me like that. I'm pretty sure she wasn't looking her best or even aware of my presence, but I tell you, it didn't matter. She couldn't been wearing track pants pulled up to her armpits, a mouthful of rotten teeth and an eye-patch (well, that would be cool anyway) and I could've fallen in love with her I tell ya, dangerous. very dangerous.

Today's Song of the Day is "American Woman" by The Guess Who off their 1970 album "American Woman."

Crazy Fact: Given its anti-American putdowns, it ironic that is became their only U.S. chart-topper. When the group performed for President and Mrs. Nixon and Prince Charles at the White House, Pat Nixon requested that "American Woman" be dropped from the set list.


Thursday, November 11, 2004

I'm Melting, MELLLLLTING!!...

Fifteen hours in a car is too long to sit in a car with somebody let alone two people. There are a couple of phases (between each phase there is a pee break):

talkative (2nd wind)
reflective (3rd wind)
murderous (no wind)

When we finally got out of the car at the cabin in New Hampshire, Mike jumped me and wrestled me to the ground and then Caleb jumped on him, we almost weren't joking.

I squirmed free. "Fuck you ALL!" I ran to the entrance, shaking, jumping up and down uncontrollably, unsure of whether to shit or make eggs, wind my watch or go blind. I'm so happy I could kill, so angry I could dance. Mostly I'm very very alive. This was the point of the trip. Get the fuck out of Dodge, go somewhere new, safe and beautiful with the boys and totally forget... on Rememberance Day of all days.

Pif: I burst into the Cabin: I'm SOOO fucking GLAD to OUT of that... instrument of TORTURE that... FUCKING CAR! HAHAHA!

Rob: how you doin' pif?

Pif: REALLY REALLY... BETTER NOW! (I'm jumping from one foot to the other. Mind in tatters. Happy to have two legs.)

Rob: I see nothing's changed with you.

Pif: Nope. NO SIRREEE MISTER Mister. How are-

Caleb (enters bags in hand): AAaaah.. We Almost left Pif at the side of road because he lost a bet.

Pif: If you touch me! I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM!

Rob: So you guys had a good drive?

Caleb: Yes. Its over.

At this point I knew it was true, we survived. Those last few miles were killer, I felt like crying. It was over and we are as far away as humanly possible I got up Early this morning in Halifax, Canada and now I'm somewhere DEEP in Bush country. Bittersweet. In the back of my mind I knew I had to get back in to get home, but my better half was keeping this fact from my worser half which was at the controls at the moment.

Today's Song of the Day is "Feeling Yourself Disintegrate" by The Flaming Lips off their 1999 album, "The Soft Bulletin."

Crazy Fact: The origin of their name variously attributed to a porn film, an obscure drug reference, or a dream in which a fiery Virgin Mary plants a kiss on Wayne in the backseat of his car.


Wednesday, November 10, 2004

"So, This is What Kansas is Like," said the Gnome.

So my good friend Mike is skipping town for richer pastures (hog town) and as a parting gift he gave me some magic shoes. they're gold. They are not for the faint of heart. They get quite a reaction from people. I'm walking around and people look down in horror, they look up straining to make sense of me, they again look down still surprised, they scan up my body, finally they become self aware and quickly turn there heads, look away and walk by. I would say this is the reaction of one in twenty but when your walking through campus you pass by so many people that some one always seems to be reacting. I'm not sure how to react. I feel like a gnome with these crazy yellow shoes on. I like attention as much as the next guy, but this is too much, or weird, or something-er-other. There is something in this I'm not used to.

I think it's the closest I'm ever going to come to getting piercings or a tattoo, it's as close as I'm going to get to some kind of outward mark of distinction. I feel like they are glowing, burning brightly from below with attention-o-waves, everytime I look down I get confused so I look away, walk on thinking about them, trying not to bump into things.

They're not everyday shoes. That's for sure.

Today's Song of the Day is "Get On The Good Foot" by James Brown off his 1972 album "Get On The Good Foot."

Crazy Fact: In 1988, he led the police on an interstate car chase after allegedly threatening people with a handgun. The episode ended in a six-year prison sentence that many felt excessive; he was paroled after serving two years.


Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Good Friends Wear Rubber Boots.

P: man I could live for at least FOUR months on ONE paycheck from this time last year. It's crazy.
C: yeah I know, I think about it everytime I buy another dozen mr. noodles.
P: Brutal.
C: I know.
P: What did I do with all the CASH?!
C: I know.
P: I can't IMAGINE Spending all that money!
C: I know.
P: Cabs, Booze, Restaurants, Trips - Poof!
C: We traded it all in for homework and T.V.
P: Brutal.
C: I know.

A pause as we stare off into the parking lot and think about the old days, a little lost in the new.

P: 'If I ever get my hands on a dollar again...'
C: '...I'll hold on to it till that old eagle grins.'

Later that day, I was at my good friend Mairi's for dinner (pronounced 'maddy'), it was a blast (of course) there was eight of us who haven't all been in the same room for a year or so. So much laughter, such a good time, near constant stick-shaking. Then the instruments came out. What's nice about eating, drinking and being merry with a roomful of musicians is you name a song, somebody knows it.

Me: "Hey you know what song has been in my head all day; Nobody knows you when your down and out."

I'm ignored. You know musicians ('wink' to HK). Everyone continues sort of playing there own thing, tuning, yaking, drinking, smoking, laughing. Then I hear it. Slowly, out of the boisterous cacophony comes 'I used to live the life of a millionaire...' perfectly. Sweet. The others' musical spidey-sense starts tingling they turn watch the chords, listening to the melody, the rhythm and one by one pick it up. Two guitars, a mandolin and a fiddle later it's kicked full on into high gear. I'm thinking to myself, well Eric, not only are you totally over-rated, but your wrong again.

Just like kitchen parties, it' must be one of the advantages to living in an economically depressed region of the country. When your down and out, you've re-joined the majority, it's like comin' home. If you want to know where the All-weather keepers hang out, go to the kitchen.

Today's Song of the Day is "Nobody Knows You When You're Down & Out" by Eric Clapton off his 1992 album "Unplugged."

Crazy Fact: George Harrison was in love with Eric Clapton's wife.


Monday, November 08, 2004

Fade to Black.

The fade out is such a cheap way to end a song. What it really means is we have no idea how to end the song so they say 'we are just going to stop playing and use cheap fade out deal to cover our lose losery.'

That being said, when I have to turn off music, I'm vaguely uncomfortable with just switching it off. I feel like I need to appologize to them musician 'Sorry Frankie I gotta go' so I usually fade it out and then turn it off. It seems less jarring or more respectful. I know that makes me a huge flake but everything I do makes me a huge flake.

If you could only get out of really difficult conversations that way:

"I'm sorry, These last two years have been an utter mistake. I don't like you anymore, I'm breaking up with you. (quieter) I don't like you anymore, I'm breaking up with you. (quieter) I don't like you anymore, I'm breaking up with you. (whispering) I don't like you anymore, I'm breaking up with you." As you tip-toe out of the room.

or maybe it would be more like:

Doc: Yes, Mr. Smith it's what we feared, you have cancer, you have, li..., ...o... ...i... .

Mr. Smith: Can you speak up?

Doc: er eh-um yes... uh I don't know how to say this it's what we feared, you have cancer, you have, li..., ...o... ...i... .

Mrs. Smith: Dear, can't you take a hint. He is fading and repeating on you.

Mr. Smith: What... but that can only mean-

Mrs. Smith: Yes, he's a cheap coward who doesn't even have the decency to tip-toe out of the room.

Doc: Well it is MY office after all.

Either way no dice. Must face the Music.

Today's Song of the Day is "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake off his last album "Pink Moon" which was released in 1972.

Crazy Fact: There is some question to whether or not he commited suicide or it was accidental but either way he died from an overdose of booze and sleeping pills.


Sunday, November 07, 2004

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

Ok I finally got all caught up on the SOTD posts, yikes what a week. This next week looks even worse. My brain is empty, all I have to say is that as I mentioned on monday 1979 and 1975 r very Kewl. This is the other half. 1975 was SOO hard rock groovey. It's crazy:

Ride On - AC/DC
Walk This Way - Aerosmith
Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen
Slow Ride - Foghat
Physical Graffitti - Led Zeppelin (the WHOLE Album)
Love Hurts - Nazareth
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
Low Rider - War
Tush - ZZ Top

These are just the past SOTDs from 1975. It's nuts. gotta go do JAVA stuff. bye

Today's Song of the Day is "Walk This Way." by Aerosmith off the 1975 album "Toys in the Attic."

Crazy Fact: In 1970, the first incarnation of Aerosmith formed when vocalist Steven Tyler met guitarist Joe Perry while working at a Sunapee, NH, ice-cream parlor. HA HA HA HA HA HA !


Saturday, November 06, 2004

Busy Spells.

Sorry guys been deliquent.

Major busy period. I'm on my period. I never thought I'd say that one. But it works I'm cranky, emotional, frustrated, I REALLY want to take a bath forever, ect...

gotta go.

Today's Song of the Day is "Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan off his 1965 album "Highway 61 Revisited."

Crazy Fact: Bob was almost killed in a motorcycle accident just before this album.


Friday, November 05, 2004

30 Is The Number of The Beastie.

Happy Birthday Claire. I hate you.

Turning thirty at a BEASTIE Boys concert sound like as close heaven (in the Bryan Adam's conception) as a human can come to on our meager rock. I'm jealous. I hate you. Treat it like a hobbit birthday, bring me present. do it.

do it.

Today's Song of the Day is "Jump Around" by The House of Pain off there 1992 album "House of Pain."

Crazy fact: In 1992 House of Pain's Everlast was so sure of there success that his said instead of the opening for the Beastie boys the Beastie Boys should open for them, they got the boot. Come 1993 'House of WHO?' Who's a Pain?'


Thursday, November 04, 2004

Take Five

Strange. Here's a lesson in subjectivity for you. When I was a kid taking math I thought it was stupid that there was this 'perfect world' in which lines would be parallel forever. In this broken little world of ours it's impossible to make a perfectly straight line let alone TWO that never touch. So WHY are we learning about this? A pragmatist at such an early age, poor little guy. Well what I never considered was within the world of ideas things certainly can be parallel. Parallel perception.

So I walk with Cel and Fiver almost everyday. I've been through the WHOLE routine, many, many times. Where he walks when he eats, how he behaves in different situations, when he needs to go back on the leash all that jazz. So Cel goes to the T dot and the little guy is under my charge. Sweet. I totally know his routine, he likes me. s'all good.

Well, It's way different when your driving the bus, same trip different perspective. When driving the bus I learned that responsibility is composed of two primary substances: guilt and fear,

Guilt: I gotta go home, The puppies all alone.' (weird... I NEVER go home... What the hell IS this?)

Guilt: I wonder if he's happy on the couch? Maybe I should get him a blanket?' (what... the... hell. Pif! Your snapping!)

Fear: 'he's too close to the road, don't like the look of that other dog, he's too close to traffic, where'd he go? what was that? is that broken glass? what's he eating? he's too close to traffic, that dog's going to steal his ball, is he cold? Is that car going to stop? It eventually broke down to full-blown half-thought paranoia: what was? what's he? is he? is that? can he? would he? is that? Where is? I was surfin' the crest of a monster wave of fear, at top speed, hair blown back, Fiver on his leash, full-on pulling me to Point Pleasant Park. I felt like a dog sled of fear. I was terrified, panicked. I was taking responsibility.

The worst part of this is Fiver is the best dog ever, gentle, obedient and happy an all-round sweetheart. How much trouble can he really be? Didn't stop the obsess-o-machine from producing top-quality fear.

She's back. Fiver's alive. I should never have children.

Today's Song of the Day is "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" by Lauryn Hill off her 1998 album "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill."

Crazy Fact: Frankie Valli did the original in 1967 as a solo effort from the Four Seasons but it was written by Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio who were the other members of the Four Seasons... What a chump. 'I want MY name on the album WAAAA!" give the cry baby a record already...


Wednesday, November 03, 2004

You Scream I Scream We All Scream for... whatever.


That's all I got. I thought for sure we got out of this. no. really no. I'm still trying to deal with it. I thought we made it. After everything, even though there is NO DOUBT he will go down as the WORSE president of the United States EVER (and there is some stiff competion for that title.)
voted him in again.

I don't even know...where to begin. It's depressing. I'm sure 4 years is enough time to destroy this planet. It's too bad, I liked it here. people are war mongers, they just are. they don't want...whatever. It's awful.

Today's Song of the Day is "When The Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin off the 1971 MASTERPIECE "Led Zeppelin IV."

Crazy Fact: whatever...


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Uncle Sam is a Dirty Old Man.

How come I don't I get to vote for Emporer? Why do these heartless fools to our south get to vote for our well-being? It's no fair. Fortunately their economy is going to collapse under the weight of there own stupidity. I'm in denial. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

I got out my white-out today and whited-out the whole of the USA (minus Hawaii and Alaska, I'm a sucker for those little guys) It took a while. I drew a big Happy face over it. It's all better now. I also ripped out 'that' page in the dictionary. Who needs the reminder really. You can do a lot with sticky notes too.

Today's Song of the Day is "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails off the 1989 album "Pretty Hate Machine"

Crazy Fact: Trent Reznor played tenor sax and tuba in the school band. HAha! Can he play this on the TUBA! I bet that would be awesome!


Monday, November 01, 2004

1979 Was the Bomb.

Right now the stand out years seem to be 1975 and 1979. I'm not sure why. Lots a good stuff going on in those years. Things seem to really polarize Folk, Metal, Funk, Punk, Ska, Reggae and New Wave were all Popular at the same time in 1979. It was musically multi-cultural everybody got along even though they were really freaking different. It was the land before MTV.

It was a very good year. It was the year they invented the musical atom bomb, The music video. In 1979 "The Buggles" heralded the demise of music as we knew it with 'Video Killed The Radio Star.' It was the first video played on MTV in 1981.


Today's Song of the Day is "Atomic" by Blondie off their 1979 Album "Eat to the Beat."

Crazy fact: I had the hugest crush on Debbie Harry. My god. Anway, She was in the David Chronburg film Videodrome. very coolioweird.


Sunday, October 31, 2004

Happy Halloween

Eat candy.
Scare some kids.
Drink some booze.

Have fun.

Oh and by the way you can eat the apples there has been ZERO cases of the 'razor-blade in the apple' urban myth. Probably perpetuated by them evil, but tastey, candy manufactures and those double-dealing dentists. Can you really TRUST a Dentist? Do the Hate there job SO much that they would really put themselves out of business? Methinks not. A lollipop in the waiting room and a 'toothbrush' on the way out (whatever THAT is.)

Today's Song of the Day is "Dr. Funkenstein" by Parliament off their 1976 album "The Clones of Dr. Funkenstein."

Crazy Fact: George Clinton stole Bootsy Collins, Maceo Parker and Fred Wesley from James Browns back-up band.


Saturday, October 30, 2004

The Cyclops and the Vampire.

Sometimes I wish a wore a sandwich board to prevent all stupid questions or at least to limit the repetition. Like You lose an eye accidently in the kitchen from playing with knives, then you gotta tell EVERYONE you know or meet the WHOLE stupid chain of events and yes accept there sympathy and yes accept their ridicule. Over and over re-living the events and every single person you talk to feels like they are really funny or the MOST sympathetic or the first ones to talk to you about it, but no it wasn't funny the first time and/or I'm tired of crying about it and eventually you feel like your comforting them. Now how did that happen? I'm the guy with only one eye to cry with and I'm crying for YOU. Look this eye of mine is tired as hell and he's feeling awfully over worked so come on just read the sandwich board then go home curl up with your teddy bear, I have to start my One-eyed life and your standing in my way crying like a baby. WHAT ABOUT ME! the cyclops needs some love! I gotta fill a whole eye socket with love and you, you VAMPIRE! are stealing it from me. So take a good look and go tell your friends, just don't stand agape in horror on MY TIME! jesus you lose an eye and every one turns into fucking chicken little.

Look at me I'm a mess, I'm freaking OUT over here and I didn't even lose an eye I'm just talking about losing an eye metaphorically and it's like Goya stepped inside my head and painted a whole new life for me. Jesus, this procrastination thing can be pretty disturbing stuff.

Today's Song of the Day is "Never Going Back Again" by Fleetwood Mac off there 1977 album "Rumours."

Crazy Fact: I always hated the name of this band, I'm not sure why... anyway In 1971 their guitarist Jeremy Spencer had also been undergoing mental problems due to heavy drug use. During the band's American tour, Spencer disappeared; it was later discovered that he left the band to join the religious cult the Children of God. nice.


Friday, October 29, 2004

Shome Sha-aay LUUUUUUFF Id issssh lick a riiiiiibber...

You know what. You know when you're drunk and you talk and shit is all messed up and makes no sense to the listener and meanwhile you are on the inside thinking 'Dude! I'm the next fucking Shakespeare.' So when you tell someone this after a bottle of wine they hear 'Ims very the so artsh-tickerish.'

Well it seems the same happens when you type. I replied to an e-mail whilst 'three sheets to the wind.' And then re-read it, the next day. It is very disappointing. It gives one new rules.

don't ever type when drunk.
don't ever record yourself drunk.
never speak to a sober person while drunk.

This gives me an idea Cable 10 presents The First Annual Alcoholics Anonymous Tequila and Karaoke Party. After 10 rounds and a tearful rendition of 'The Rose.' Then watch that tape. What you remember, we be so different from actual performance that the resulting mountain of embarrassment would keep you off booze for a year. Just put the video tape in the liquor cabinet. It would work for me.

(The image of drunkenly and tearfully massacring this song is SO perfect Karaoke I HAD to send it. Had to.)

Today's Song of the Day is "The Rose" by Bette Midler off her 1979 Album 'The Rose."

Crazy Fact: Paul A. Rothchild produced the final Janis Joplin studio album, Pearl, and the late producer was the perfect guy to produce this tribute to Joplin from the 1979 film soundtrack of 'The Rose.'


Thursday, October 28, 2004

As Soon as Your Born your Die-eye-ing.

Birthdays, here's what I know. The first one was NO FUN. very stressful for everyone. everyone was quite relieved when it was over. The baby birthday's are fun. Lots of happy people looking at you and giving you stuff. (but that's just business at usual.)

Then everything changes when you learn the words 'just wait for your birthday.' Then you realize your birthday is your own personal christmas. It goes like that until your 20th birthday. Then things start to change gears. Less presents more booze. add another drop of fear to every batch from here on in.

29 to 31 = exploding in slow motion. This is the breaking point. The rising fear balances fun somewhere around here and starts to over take it, kinda not sure to think about this whole 'age celebration' thing anymore. Can't stop the bus. Can't get one foot out the grave, can't really be surprised and yet there it is 'surprise!' And that's all I knew until my dad dropped this piece of wisdom on me in the car this morning:

'Your birthday starts to get scary when you can't double it.' He stared forward in half-amused detached bewilderment.

'damn...' I stared forward in half-amused detached bewilderment. 'Shit pops, that's the truth.'


Now I feel young again, in an odd kind of way. Anyway, I'm set for at least the next ten years.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Today's Song of the Day is "So What'cha Want" by The Beastie Boys off their 1992 album "Check Your Head."

Crazy Fact: Licensed to Ill was the fastest-selling debut in Columbia Records' history, moving over 750,000 copies in its first six weeks.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Blue is the Colour of My Brain (with yellow spots.)

I'm in a melancholy mood.

I'm searching for that song that's just right. One that will reflect it all back, so I can take a good look. maybe have a good cry. One of those moods that effortlessly looks through the usual cynicism. When the build up of sarcastic associations melts away and a mood comes over you that indulges a certain kind of sentimentality, one that craves a familiarity, that reaches for a song as if for a blanket well worn, threadbare, held together by a bittersweet comforting past.

Sometimes you need songs like that.

Today's Song of the Day is "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd off there 1975 album "Wish You Were Here."

Crazy Fact: This entire album was dedicated to their former leader Syd Barrett. (almost sent Careless Whisper.)


Tuesday, October 26, 2004

It Can Only Get Better From Here.

You can't dismiss pop music. Pop music has such an emormous influence on our culture. It may suck, but when it doesn't... it's a plume of colour shooting out over a dreary, grey wastland. People notice it and come running for miles, from all over the earth hopeing to get another view.

Look at Nirvana. boom. Then everyone buys the second album the day it comes out, so they can be present, this time, from the beginning. Look at the Beatles, you just heard all that crappy 50s music, then out of know where (by know where I mean england) all this amazing music erupts, like kids running through fountains people flock for a taste. Screaming in a state of nature, like the bacchae, in a mind blowing extascy. It's Perry Como and Andrew Sisters fault. If they didn't SUCK so hard then the Beatles, the Stones, the Who, (and the Kinks) would never had stood out so clearer against that shitty shitty background they painted.

Without the SHITTY periods you could never have the good. When it's good, it means people have won, the marketing isn't working anymore. All is in balance. Unfortunately, the marketeers recalibrate there sell-o-meter and get to work dimantling anything artistic or interesting about the good and crank out new some happless attention seeking tool in the 'beatles' or 'nirvana' package. Like fractals, it's hard to predict where one is going to start and the last in going to end, but boy is it ever magic when things change.

Today's Song of the Day is "Cristo Redentor" by Donald Byrd off his 1963 ablum "A New Perspective" (recorded January 12, 1963 at Van Gelder Studio)

Crazy Fact: Check out his FULL name: Donaldson Toussaint L'Ouverture Byrd II. wow.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Killer Performance, Killer Applause.

What a heartbreaker of an album.

For his whole life, Vladimir Horowitz had a persistent irrational fear of failure. This caused him untold grief. One of the consequences was is lead him to consistently and erratically cancel concerts at the last minute. He was very sensitive and emotional his whole life.

As a young boy he had to flee his native russia in the 1920s. He spent most of his life in exile from his beloved home land. In 1986, under the treat of 'repatriation' he returned to Russia, amidst deep cold war tension, for a series of unforgettably emotional charged performances. If you can imagine the pressure and fear heaped on this already fragile artist, he pours it ALL into this performance.

The gratitude in the applause at the end of this song is killer. This great russian Pianist has returned to russia and plays Russian compositions, especially this one. like they have never heard before. His appearance behind the iron curtain is a signal of a new era, of the opening of the door to the west. It's crazy. it makes me want to cry. Crank it for full effect.

(oh by the way I'm UTTERLY sick of the Fifties now, so that's all over... for now.)

Today's Song of the Day is "Etude in D Sharp Minor, Op. 8, No. 12: Patetico" composed by Alexander Scriabin in 1894, performed here by Vladimir Horowitz off his 1986 Album 'Horowitz in Moscow.'

Crazy Fact: In 1903, Scriabin abandoned his wife and their four children and embarked on a European journey with a young admirer, Tatyana Schloezer. jer-ry! jer-ry! jer-ry!


Sunday, October 24, 2004

The Cyber-Jitters and the Great E-mail Lament

You type an e-mail of questionable quality, possibly too revealing in nature or perhaps a questionable link. I'll paint a picture for you. It's late, your in your room, your listening to your music, you got that peaceful uber-easy feeling and in the PS you say something like 'p.s.. Why didn't we ever get together?' or 'p.s.. MAN! I just can't stop masturbating' Then you impulsively, defiantly hit send.

You get that quick sweat just after you hit send, when you can feel your hair line. Yeah, you know it. That's the beginning of what turns out to be a long sleepless night of near constant 'check mails' and nail-biting re-reads. You will stay in that hyper-aware stasis until that person responds.

If they don't respond in 18 hours you have to send those wooden 'so how are you. I hope you are well. I hope the kids are well. I hope work is well. well well well. I hope I hear from you soon.' emails. God forbid they don't respond to that. Then is the full on "Are you mad at me did I say something? What's wrong? I haven't heard from you in a while." Though you know EXACTLY what you did. Still nothing. Then you lose it "I'm sorry about the crude thing I said I didn't mean to freak you out and I really was joking about your kids name and she's not that ugly, really, she quite a beautiful child. sincerely, the apologetic asswipe.' Then later that day you get a group e-mail from him/her: 'I'm having a great time in Fiji here's some pics of me and the kids! I'll be back on Thursday.'

Now you feel like your going to puke. Your neurosis so clearly documented, so forwardable. Oh heavy day.

(everyone who knows me please write me a quick e-mail saying something reassuring.)

We all must suffer as Fifties Week continues (we will make it together.)

Today's Song of the Day is "Bye, Bye Love" by The Everly Brothers off there 1957 debut "The Everly Brothers"

Crazy Fact: There second album is called 'Songs Our Daddy Taught Us' HA HA HA HA! Man! the fifties SUCKED!


Saturday, October 23, 2004

The Celebrity Freakshow

Jerry Lee Lewis was the first ever Rock 'n' Roll Freakshow. Pills, Booze, setting his piano on fire and most memorabley marrying his 13 year-old cousin. This guy is a living Crazy Fact, I don't know where to start. After the first 5 years of Rock 'n' Roll, it was all done. It's all Post-Modern paste after that. The only thing new after 1960 was the kids started writing there own songs. pffft big deal. What do I care?

A: Have you heard the new Radiohead-
B: OMIGOD! Did you SEE him on SNL, WHAT a druggy!

A: Did you see Monster?
B: NO but I saw her, the actress, on Oprah, She looks great!

Today's Song of the Day is "Great Ball of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis released in 1958.

Crazy Fact: His fathers name is Elmo. His cousin in Jimmy Swaggert. Wow.


Friday, October 22, 2004

Elvis Who's Your Daddy?

Like most people born when Elvis wasn't cool AT ALL. I like Elvis and I think Elvis SUX. But as I was a big fan of Happy Days THIS was always the coolest oldies song ever. Ol' Bill gets ripped off in the history books. Released two years before Elvis went into the recording studio, Buddy Holly who? the beatles were still playing with blocks. Chuck berry didn't even record an album with chess yet. And in 1955, streaking across the sky was Bill Haley and His Comets at number one for 8 weeks. King of rock and/or roll indeed. Oedipus I calls him.

I'm going to make a mixed CD of guys who've been colossally ripped off. You know The Beta Band and Joe Meek are right along side.

Today's Song of the Day is "Rock Around The Clock" by Bill Haley and His Comets" first released in 1954 then released as the soundtrack to The Blackboard Jungle.

Crazy Fact: Bill Haley was blind in one eye from birth in 1925, and, as a consequence, suffered from terrible shyness as a boy.


Thursday, October 21, 2004

Welcome to the Terrordome

Baseball has the front page while the US war machine makes terrorists in Iraq. They will avenge themselves like Conan, 'You killed my father... you killed my family, my people!' Then George Bush will crucify them on a tree for all to see like the modern-day Thusa Doom he is (though with worse fashion-sense). 'Contemplate this on the tree of pain.' What will they contemplate on the tree of Pain? "the riddle of steel.' Thulsa-Bush did you even listen to yourself? "Steels not strong boy, Flesh is stronger. The sword is nothing in comparison to the hand that weilds it."

When some Conan comes out of the desert and flies a plane into a baseball stadium. We all know, George-doom is to blame.

Fuck you george, I'm tired of you. I really hope you get fired.

Today's Song of the Day is "Who's On First" by Abbott & Costello recorded in 1952 off this 2001 album "Great Radio Comedies."

Crazy Fact: Who's On First, became so famous that Bud and Lou cut a special gold record of it for inclusion into the Baseball Hall Of Fame.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The Commandant Presents The King

As part of our Mandate at Song of the Day, the Royal We are commited to be representative of all styles and years of music, giving equal attention especailly 1950 to the present. In the interest of reaching these goals, We have divided music broadly into TWO catagories. These catagories are MUSIC THAT SUCKS and MUSIC THAT DOESN'T SUCK.

Through tireless hours of analysis of the S.O.T.D archives (mostly brought on by an overwhelming instinct to Procrastinate Calculus assignments) we have discovered something, so shocking that we have decided we must forgo the usual red tape and tell the listening public immediately. Though it may be hastey of us, we tell you in the interest of SCIENCE.

It seems between the years 1950 and 1959 there is a much Higher ratio of MUSIC THAT SUCKS then in any other 10 year period. This fact is reflected in archive itself. Commandant Pif's impeciable taste (yesterday's post not withstanding) has aptly demonstrated this fact, by selecting only the best fifites music to be included on this list and as any fool can see, there's very little of it there. But to be generous to the crappiest of decades, and in the interesting in giving equal representation to all musica eras, We have decided to fortify the SOTD Archive with some Ol' Time Rock and/or Roll.

We invite you, the listening public, to offer up your meger musical knowledge of this topic at the feet of all-knowing, uber-cool, Commadant Pif, for his consideration as he is utterly lost. As a wise man once said: [He is] Like one without a paddle on a creek composed entirely of shit.

Today's Song of the Day is "My Baby Left Me" by Elvis Presley off "The King's" Second album "Elvis"

Crazy Fact: The King is Dead. He is very dead. He died on the throne. OK and this is just plane disturbing the lyrics to 'Heartbreak Hotel' were written by a steel guitar player from Nashville named Tommy Durden. He was inspired by a newspaper story about a man who killed himself and left behind a note saying only, "I walk a lonely street." He was 'so lonely he could die.' for REAL. I'm checking into Hotel Disturbo.


Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Short Blonde Guys OWNED the Eighties.

I'm sleepy so back off. I'm amidst midterms that's why the posts have increased in viscosity. But they'll bubble up eventually, I have a lot to say and no space to say it so there pressure is building. You just wait.

I think from the lack of sleep and increased pressure I'm reverting, devolving. I've been listening to Bryan Adams, Summer of 69 at every opportunity. It's very confusing. I really liked 1984 when I was a kid. I'm thinking it might be my happy place and bryan adams is part of that soundtrack like it or not. I think a part of me still wants to dress like Bryan Adams. The jeans white T-shirt white 'tennis shoes' and black leather jacket (or jean jacket) I like to say it was Jimmy Deans influence or Marlon Brando, to make myself cooler than I actually am. No, it's the Second-hand Bryan Adams Look that I'm aspiring to. When it's all you got:
Say it LOUD!
Say it PROUD!

I wish I was a cross between Michael J Fox and Bryan Adams, GODAMMIT! You HEAR me ASSHOLE! You LISTENIN'! Yeah YOU! You FUCKing HEARD me! BRYAN FUCKING ADAMS the KING of ROCK! and MICHAEL-

...piffy needs sleep. It time he stops talking. Goodnight everyone.

Today's Song of the Day is "Summer 69" by Bryan Adams off his 1984 "Reckless."

Crazy Fact: "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" total worldwide sales came to eight million copies, more than any single since "We Are the World." That's fucked up. sick.


Monday, October 18, 2004

From Almost Right to Totally Seventies in One Move.

If I could only recomend only ONE rock 'n' roll movie I think it would have to be Almost Famous. So many points to praise it. Coming of age story. Road picture. The story of music... It think's the best rock movie put to film. Purple Rain is great there's lots a greats but untill some body shouts me down. M'peeps Almost Famous is King.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Wind" by Cat Stevens off his 1971 album "Teaser and the Firecat."

Crazy Fact: Wow, the seventies can do anything! There should be a web site for your Seventies Name like they have for your prison name, your hobbit name or mobster name. Because the seventies got 'Cat Stevens' out of 'Steven Demetre Georgiou.' Crazy


Sunday, October 17, 2004

Bring your Hammer to the Rock Church.

OK on another geology field trip. They're fun but too early to get up on a Sunday. I'm thinking about calling it Sunday School, Having never gone to Sunday School I don't know anything about it, but I'm quite sure they didn't teach the worship of Rocks. Either way sunday and school = NO FAIR. anyways

We are Hanging out in the Bay of Fundy. The tide is advancing on us like a really wet cold muddy grass fire. OK nothing like a grass fire more like... like a drunk guy at a bar who just came in from the rain, sees you from across the room, and thinks he recognizes you. He really really wants to give you a big hug, but you don't know him, he sways back a forth, he retreats he goes for you again. you gingerly hop away, he sways again. He parlays, He's kind of easy to stay away from but he only has ONE thought in his drunken mind so if you are not ever vigilant against his lame persistence you will get soaked and very very uncomfortable.

Anyway I'm peering over "lizard tracks" in the Siltstone. I'm not convinced. But it's kind of a cool anyway.

"Your going to have to sketch these in your lab report, I can't I'm not artistic, that's why I'm in science."

I might as well have gone temporarily blind as my brain gurgled with crisis.

What am I doing here? I AM artistic, I'm doomed. I'm doing the wrong thing. I have to get out of here. It's not too late, is it? I have to switch my... I should just go for my masters, I got a BA. I got my honours they'll take me...right? I'm no scientist, Who am I trying to kid. shit. fuck. shit fuck. I'm gonna FAIL! I'm FUCKING doomed. I'm going to starve as a self-involved hyper-sensitive ball of anxiety. (probably brought on by Malnutrition)


Well fifteen minutes, 12 seconds and two soakers later (damn Bay of Fundy 'hugged' me) my fear loosened and allowed blood to re-enter the optimistic (and yet equally irrational, though slightly more productive) parts of my brain. So I convinced myself that this will be my advantage, this will be my standard, the vanguard of my success. We will see where the pieces fall, but it was a motivating internal dialogue nonetheless. Especially that 'vanguard' word. Just call me Henry.

I should have rejected her ridiculous dichotomy in the first place. I should have let Leonardo bazooka it. Next time Leo, next time. Keep it loaded, you'll have your chance. We will have our revenge. Wet feet or no wet feet.

Today's Song of the Day is "She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby off his 1982 album "Golden Age of Wireless."

Crazy Fact: In 1986, Dolby Labs filed suit against him prohibited the musician from using the name "Dolby" in conjunction with any other name than "Thomas."


Saturday, October 16, 2004

Prog-rock Ate My Innocence.

On the ladder of rock 'n' roll we will all argue which band is on top. We can all generally agree about 5 bands which should be in the top ten but one thing is for sure we all know which band is on the bottom.

In that mucky sticky soup of all that is unlistenably bad there is one band with their head just barely buoyant enough to stay afloat in those stormy vomitous seas of stinky, stale, rotten cheese from which the ladder of rock emerges. Clinging to the bottom rung for recognition and relevance, is one justifiably much-maligned band. That band is Yes.

If one more person asks me what prog-rock is I'm going to scream. Zappa and Pink Floyd aside, Can't we just forget?! Emerson, Lake and Palmer, King Crimson, Jethro Tull (listen to it again), Marillion, (early) Genesis, Rush. I want to cringe. Rush, oh man only the most Canadian of true rock geeks like Rush. I can't STAND rush. I like A LOT of stuff, a lot of stupid stuff but having grown up in the late seventies and eighties I can't shake the aversion to Prog-rock and especially RUSH. I don't care about the poly-rhythms (or whatEVER else) as long as that awful whining is pouring out of Giddy Lee's mouth, count me out.

That being said one of the Popiest of the Prog-rock bands blew my mind at age 7 with this song. At the age of seven I thought the Kansas had closed the book on all that is deep and meaningful. It was as if they extolled the most inner workings of the universe, How could people act as if nothing happened? How could they carry on with there lives in ignorance. Didn't they hear!? turn on your radio fools and listen... I mean REALLY listen god-damn it. '...all we are is dust in the wind. that's FUCKING ALL! and with that wicked acoustic guitar behind it all. It was a spiritual hammer eradicating all my weary and ill-conceived values.

At the tender age of seven I lie on the tear-soaked shag wall-to-wall carpeting on the 23rd floor of an apartment building amidst a urban waste, blankly staring at the stucco ceiling, in deep existential crisis, the radio playing and re-playing my loss, the years of my yet unlived life slip away before my eyes... everything is dust in the wind. What can one do? Where can I find meaning now? How can I take one more step towards that inevitable void? Who will SAVE me... I wonder if Happy Days is on.

Today's Song of the Day is "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas off their 1977 album "Point of Know Return." (Check out the cover to this one, it's CLASSIC)

Crazy Fact: Well I guess I know how the composer of the song dealt with this existential crisis, in the early 1980's Kerry Livgren became a born-again Christian.

Friday, October 15, 2004

The Middle of Nowhere Has Left the Building.

What the Hell? The BBC nightly world news has mentioned Halifax 3 nights in a row. What the Hell?

Tues: Sunday Shopping.
Wed: Submariner that died.
Thu: Cargo Plane Crash.

I know this is getting repetitive but, What the Hell? It freaked me out when they mentioned Halifax for the G7 summit on the world news years ago. And then for Hurricane Juan, what does it all mean!?! ah, nothing as usual. I'm just getting all worked up over something of little importance. I still think it's scrazy. loco. I'm making the intellectual decision to STAY worked up over it.

What's so wrong about irrationality of this kind anyway? You go ahead and bore yourself to tears with a life that makes perfect sense, where all is equal. Where all reactions are balanced, thought-out, even-tempered. Bollacks. (if that's how you spell it, I'm not sure I've ever used that word before, it just popped out) Sure, sure. You rail off convincing rhetoric, and actually you can even be right, but at the very crux, at the most important point, the crescendo of your argument, the final meeting place of all your well-constructed and perfected presented ideas, I'm going to pull down my pants, 'gallop away' smacking my ass, hooting and laughing uncontrollably. You can't beat that. What have you got to say now? Irrationality you will ever be my companion, my entertainer and my partner in crime. Marry me you little retard. You are and will always be, my favorite. (music swells, Pif and his inner retard kiss. As Pif makes out with himself, his inner retard pants-es him and 'gallops away' smacking his own ass, hooting and laughing uncontrollably. curtain.)

(No wonder I'm single.)

Today's Song of the Day is "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel off their 1973 Album "Stealers Wheel."

Crazy Fact: The classy sleeve for there debut album 'Stealers Wheel,' was painted by Scottish playwright John "Patrick" Byrne.


Thursday, October 14, 2004

Don't Go Away Sad Just Go Away.

Ok here's part two of the Shangri-Las marathon. It's awesome, heart-breaking and brain bustingly sad. Check this one out for sure. Sad is an understatement. There's some kind of a 'Moonlight Sonata' thing going on underneath this it KICKS ASS. I wish I was a morose teenage girl in the 60s this makes me long of the days. I'm not sure if this is the recounted of a rape victim or just a heart-broken teenagers. You decide. I'm not sure how I feel about it either way but I know what I know and that's that if I was a heartbroken teenager I'd find a sad comfort in this kind of over production.

Today's Song of the Day is "Past, Present And Future" by The Shangri Las released as a single in 1965.

Crazy Fact: Mary Anne Ganser died of encephalitis in 1971. Which is a virial infection. I think she sold her soul to the devil. Just like Johnny Blaze.


Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Back When Goth Was Just Suicidal Teenagers.

I'm totally losing it for this band. I think the sold there souls to the devil to make it big producing proto-goth rock. There producers name was shadow morton for christ-sake. I'm sending them out tomarrow too.

How the HELL can people blame 'kids today' or 'music today' for anything. Johnny Cash was singing about snorting cocaine and shooting down his woman because 'she had another daddy' before Eminem was even born. Teenagers have been forever infatuated with death, just listen to this song and there's more, the gloomy like 'Dressed in Black' strikes a cord as well.

So if you meet some old-timer who was into the Shangri-Las when they were a teenager you know if they were a teenager now they would be pierced, tatooed and clad in black.

Today's Song of the Day is "Leader Of The Pack " by The Shangri-Las released as a single in 1964. I got it off the 1994 collection "Myrmidons of Melodrama ."

Crazy Fact: It has long been suggested that the pianist on the track is a young Billy Joel.


Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Horror, The Horro... Actually on Second Thought.

Ah, the student loan has finally come home to ol' papa pif. I'm wagering it on my future happiness. And my future happiness on it. Lets roll them bones on a Unversity Education. Do I still have to pay it back if I lose. double-loser.

Today's Song of the Day is "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits off their 1985 album "Brothers in Arms."

Crazy fact: Following a tour opening for Talking Heads, the band began recording their debut for Vertigo Records with producer Muff Winwood in early 1978. Muff! Muff Winwood is a terrible name and Stevie Winwoods brother.


Monday, October 11, 2004

Zeno Doesn't Know How to Play with Others.

I think this society of ours supports and rewards the extravert, I know my good friend A.P. would agree (happy birthday, beautiful) but this leads to a little bit of a conundrum in my eyes. People-people are interested in communicating, maintaining friendships and going out with those friends, sitting at home alone makes them restless and cranky, they are at peace with a life in flux. Introverted people are more relaxed at home, have a deeper interest self-reflection and alone time, without it, they get cranky. Now it requires a degree of reflection to think about other people and what your doing to them and how you make them feel, how they feel.

I think I might be blowing it.

The very dead, Plato thought that the best life was one spent in contemplation, those greeks are crazy different. They must really know how they feel, how what they do affects other people, just brimming with self-knowledge, deep worldly observations about there sofa, their bowl of fruit and they would know exactly what to do if they ever left there house, but whenever they leave the house they are too cranky to talk. And then you have the extravert gossiping and telling everybody they know everything in their mostly thoughtless head in a haze of self-interest, totally unaware of there effect on the world. If it's not surrounded by bright colours, explosions or a big crowd, they would never notice.

How the hell do we survive?

I know. You know what Zeno? Dichotomies are BULLSHIT. You suck and I just talked myself into a hole again. I had something to say but I dropped it in this very dark hole and I'm afraid of spiders, so forget it.

Today's Song of the Day is "Surrey with the Fringe on Top " Composed by Richard Rogers & Oscar Hammerstein II Performed here by Blossom Dearie off her 1958 Album "Once Upon a Summertime."

Crazy Fact: Actually born with the name Blossom Dearie in the New York Catskills.


Sunday, October 10, 2004

Luke Jaywalker.

I was waiting at a corner talking to a Mike, there were two people waiting at the corner to cross the street. An unhealthy looking guy in his forties and another guy who looked to be in his seventies. The light turned green and both of them started across the street. Since it's Quinpool Road the light switches from a walk light to flashing hand almost instantly. A cop car trying to make a left turn starts to turn and then seeing the pedistrans slows, a cop put her head out of the window. 'What are you blind?! It's a red light! What are you doing! Get off the road!' This old man looks up gets confused, backs away and goes back to his corner. The other guy looks at the flashing hand a points to it and start to complain.
He mutters to himself and returns to the corner, she speeds away.

Yelling at old men who are slow to get across the street. Is this securing the streets of the city? The snotty attitude and the quickness to anger... it pissed me off. Not to mention it wasn't red or why the hell was she making a left turn against a red red. and furthmore if in that socially retarded brain of hers she meant to say it was a flashing hand, then she should go back and read the laws on right of way.

I think I might actually lodge a complaint. Oh my god, I AM old. "That police officer was SOO RUDE! Goodness Gracious me.'

Today's Song of the Day is "TV Cops" by The Goats off their 1992 album 'Tricks Of The Shade.'

Crazy Fact: The are from Philly... like the Roots. yeah, I got nothin.


Saturday, October 09, 2004

White Bread Brain.

As I stirred gravy, Sonia cooked Thankgiving Dinner for twelve and I realized that cooking is just like Calculus. I watch her infused carrots with ginger and orange zest. I watch, ask questions and drink wine. She demonstrates how to simply and skillfully cook a Turkey. I watch, talk, drink wine and fill the diswasher, perfectly understanding every motion, every ingedient. Same for stuffing, casaroles, home-made pasta, sauces of all kinds, you name it.

I go home and days later get hungry and say to myself 'HEY I can cook now Sonia showed me.' I go into the kitchen open the fridge, stand and stare. Motionless, thoughtless, paralyzed and a little worried. It's like when I go to do my Calculus homework. I Open the text book copy down a problem sit and stare. Motionless, thoughtless, paralyzed and a little worried. I understood everything in class, when some else is doing it it makes SOO much sense, just like cooking.

Cooking like Calculus is a cruel mistress.

Today's Song of the Day is "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran off their 1982 Album "Rio."

Crazy Fact: Duran Duran tooking their name from a character in Roger Vadim's psychedelic sci-fi film Barbarella, BECAUSE the group began playing gigs in the Birmingham club CALLED Barbarella.


Friday, October 08, 2004

Michael J. Fox MEANS Something To ME.

They have been having that Damn poster sale at Dal forever. Imaginus, I think it's called. When I first went to dal I was amazed. I felt like I could actually own piece of something that was important to me. The world was new the possibilities were opening up in front of me. I could own important pieces of beauty. wow. Van Gogh tortured and fascinating, Turner moody and full of LIGHT. So many COOL posters of movies I love, music that speaks to me, cultural icons that really meant something to me. All Clearly symbols that clearly represented how I feel, who I wanted to become and reminding of who I should follow. It was Half-way to a Tattoo. Some image that I must keep, an important reminder, a totem.

Now I'm back 15 years later and only one word comes to mind. Juvenile. The question did I change or did it. Probably me. Oh look Bob Marley smoking a GIANT Joint, oh no there he is smoking and even BIGGER gagger. wow. I don't belong here. Pulp Fiction, Scarface, Fight Club, Linkin' Park, Christina Aguilara. where is the exit! Giant peace symbols, Escher posters, John Lennon with Tupac (what? do they really belong on the same poster?) How the HELL do I get out of here! I'm trapped in this maze surrounded by children pointing and screaming 'Cool.' and 'It's so true.' and 'look at the size of that GAGGER!" 'Oh I L O V E it.' I'm starting to freak-out. There's kids with a poster of Martin Luther King with John Lennon with the slogan 'we will remember' in one hand and a poster of Smith and Wesson hand guns in the other... another kid with a picture of the General Lee under one arm and Britney Spears kissing Madonna in the other buying a poster of Tupac.

I feel like going postal. I force my way through the crowd, desperate to escape the maze and come face to face with a U2 Joshua Tree poster. I stop dead in my tracks and stare.

I want it.

I am such a hippocrate. But I'm such a sucker for that album. such a sucker. After all the wraith and judgment I've been dealing to this rabid poster craving crowd I.. I don't even know what to say. I'm humbled. I decide it best to leave. Posters are SO LAME I remind myself. I weave my way through the crowd with my head down as not to see anymore images to disturb the clear waters of my judgment. At the door, I'm stopped dead in my tracks. Blind-sided by a Ghostbusters poster. ouch. It even glows in the Dark. double ouch. It's brilliant.

I want it.

RUN Boy RUN! The EGO is gonna self-destruct! RUN to the HILLS. I think I left a path of flaming tire tracks behind me.

Today's Song of the Day is "With Or Without You" by U2 off some album I never heard of from 1987.

Crazy fact: some people actually like these guys, whatever. pffft.


Thursday, October 07, 2004

Star Wars is God.

I like. I like a lot. I remember seeing it in the theatre even though I was only five. What a great age for that to happen. That was my first experience of Sci-fi and it was a revelation. But since, George Lucas has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has NO SOUL. He should have been hit by a bus after Empire or more precisely, just before he invented the EWOK. Grrr. But that I could forgive. Worse still is the remastered retitled original series. Since he 'touched-up' the original series, the series special effects now look dated twice. Once from the 70s stuff, and now the new stuff looks 'so last year.' How disappointing.

Not to mention that Guido fires first.


Han is a BADASS. Not a 'good guy', Luke is the good guy. Han is the mercenary and unknown to EVEN HIM his has a heart of gold. A man changed of his old drinkin' days, by the love of a good woman, just like Johnny Cash. He's supposed to be a FUCKING CRIMINAL. No honour among thieves in all that. It Bites. It actually offends me.

I want to write my senator about it. ISN'T SOMEONE going to stop that BASTARD Lucas from SHITTING All over his universe. (Let's not talk about jar-jar we need not go there.) I really REALLY feel like he should be arrested or stopped. Legal Action should be taken, it's TOO important to me. STOP THE SOULESS LUCAS FROM SHITTING ON MY CHILDHOOD.

'Won't somebody think of the CHILDREN!'

Today's Song of the Day is 'Come As You Are' by Nirvana off their 1991 Album 'Nevermind.'

Crazy Fact: Nevermind bumped Michael Jackson's comeback album Dangerous off the top of the album charts in 1992.


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

The Universe Has Pointy Pants.

A girl sitting a few tables over in the Grad House talks to another, gesturing with her left hand over some notes.

'Oh My GOD!'
'yeah, I know.'
'Did you suspect?
'no, well, a little.'
'oh my god it's a beutiful ring... Oh, I'm going to cry.'

Maybe sensitivities change, maybe it's the age I am, maybe the universe is conscious (though it's more likely projection, a projection of your consciousness upon the universe, we're merely seeing it's reflection in daliy events, actions and reactions) anyway, however it's manifest, the Finger of the Universe is Pointing Squarely at Marriage. I look at this finger and defiently shrug "What?!" Gimmee a who. THEN I'll think about you, mister pointy-pants. Until then I'm giving you a finger of my own.

Today's Song of the Day is "For No One" by The Beatles off their 1966 album "Revolver."

Crazy Fact: Rumour has it the original drummer, Pete Best, was kicked out of the group, because he refused to wear his hair in bangs. That fashion statement cost him, alright. Hey Petey! Still looking for the time machine on that one, maybe there's an undo button somewhere. Keep looking buddy boy. ouch.