Tuesday, January 25, 2005


It cold.

As you know, like you care, I'm on a Bjork kick and waay behind the times on this one. I'm sending it out to y'all. I'm totally fucked on this CSCI project and I'm about ready to gouge out my eyes for a disability check. Frozen in errors and Exceptions. There's so much. I'm going to complain (way more that once more) because there's not enough of me I need an army of me.

ok that's all.

No rant to busy freaking out.

Today's Song of the Day is "Army Of Me" by Björk off her 1995 album "Post."

Crazy fact: PJ Harvey was or is her girlfriend.


Monday, January 24, 2005

Here Comes the Snow Again.

Oh you become what you hate. I always hated those out of touch, smarty-pants, holier-than-thou, wet-blanket mature students. Look at me. Complaining about snow days and project deadlines being pushed back and 'What havoc it is wreaking on my weekly schedule.' wow. That maybe the lamest thing I ever said and meant in my entire life. This is the moment when I become old, I've officially past the threshold. See give up booze for a while and instantly I turn into a middle aged stay at home parent. I'm a fucking Tea-Totter. fuck. shit. See that Nietchze guy was bang on the money. Getting shitfaced every once in a while keeps you honest, (though he put it a little differently.)

Anyway, I can't believe that between last Monday and this monday I've lost 3 days of school to snow. Should this be a god-damn surprise that it's snowing? It's CANADA. plow the damn roads. I'm so mad... I'm as MAD as HELL AND...and... I guess I can't take a bit more so... carry on.

Today's Song of the Day is "Black Coffee" by Julie London of her 1960 album "Around Midnight."

Crazy Fact: She was married to Jack Webb of Dragnet fame for seven years.


Sunday, January 23, 2005

A Shovel Full of Justice.

I like shovelling snow.

Go figure. I'm probably just going batty suck in my hole in the ground. So I decide to take it out on the snow. either way it's oddly satisfing. Unlike most things these day you get to do something and see an immediate result. YOu don't sit at a computer and double click the snow shoveling program and wait for it to open then after your finished shovelling hit send and hope it goes through or accidently copy over it without backing up and lose your snow shovelling. it good. and I can't believe people are paying to go to the gym, shit just bring a shovel to work and during your lunch break shovel the sidewalk or some old ladies driveway. Can you imagine if all the muscle-heads decided to do good for the world instead of mindlessly lifting heavy things. And what a world if they started with shovelling driveways for free. They would be like super heroes.

Capt. Muscleman: Look snow! Let me get my patented Muscleman snowmaster uber-shovel!
Ratboy: Holy snowflakes Cap! There's at least two inches of snow and more falling EVERY SECOND!!
Capt. Muscleman: No Time to Waste! Call the Nubodys Musclemen Army (Local 212) into action!
Ratboy: Right away Cappo!

I'll tell ya the wouldn't be cancelling school. There would be nary an old lady in want of a clear driveway (you'd be putting those loser boy scouts right out of business.) Come on you muscleheads! Yeah Mike I'm talking to you! (Look I mentioned your name. I expect an e-mail.) Go shovel some old poor old ladies driveway you'll feel like a million bucks after.

Today's Song of the Day is "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes off their 2003 album "Elephant."

Crazy Fact: This album was entirely written and recorded without the use of computers. (oh my god... today's link is a history of snow shovelling. Just click the Title of this entry. I dare you to read the whole thing.)


Friday, January 21, 2005

The View from the Wagon.


Going to bars and not drinking is an odd thing. I thought drunk people would be much more annoying than they are, but actually I find them quite charming. wobbley and uninhibited. You can see it all, everything they're thinking, it's as plain as day. It's quite entertaining. And a Hell of a lot cheaper. It's slightly uncomfortable, you feel like a bit of a narc, if you get a drink that looks like a drink they seem to lay off.

Oh and bands are waay worse without booze. I was amazed. waay worse.

Today's Song of the Day is "Red Red Wine" by UB40 off there 1983 album "Labour of Love"

Crazy Fact: I am sure this is the only UB40 song I'll ever send. not so crazy... how about every soing on this album is a cover, this one was originally done by Neil Diamond.


Thursday, January 20, 2005

It's Not Like Riding a Bike. No, it's Not.

OK so I go into my Oral and Written Communications Skills class aware that I can have my name called to do the first assignment. Which is to Introduce myself and talk for 30 secs on communication. Easy peasey. They pick 5 at random every class.

I have this terrible sinking feeling that I'm going to blow it. So I've made cue cards and re-wrote it like a hundred times. And acted it out. ok take off glassess make sure your not wearing a hat, walk to the front of the class, make eye contact, start. ok take off glassess make sure your not wearing a hat, walk to the front of the class, make eye contact, start.

ok so I'm a little late as usual, I sit down and bang my name is called. fuck. I grab my cue cards. I thought this was supposed to happen at the end of class!? I go up to the front of the class. Why do I have to be the first one. I forget my name. What is my name? there are looking at me. am I wearing my glasses? 'piiif, my name is pif.' long pause then I sweat and choke and choke and sweat and choke and choke and choke and go over time and blow it.

First thing the prof says is "So... does anyone have anything Positive to say about this presentation? (cue crickets)

DOOD! I have a fucking DEGREE in THEATRE I have no fucking excuse. I've acted infront of 1100 people. What the FUCK!

As soon as you think you got something, look again and it's gone.

Today's Song of the Day is "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procol Harem off there 1967 debut album "Procol Harem."

Crazy Fact: They're named after a cat's birth certificate.


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Snow is my friend.

I don't get school was cancelled yesterday from the snow fall. What the hell? It's Canada, it's January of COURSE there's snow! What the hell is wrong? I'm about to give the 'back in my day' speech but it would be a little obvious at this point.

lame. the world is getting weird on me. It used to be the other way around. I was more comfortable when it was the other way around.

Like this song. It reminds me of winter for some reason.

Today's Song of the Day is "Prelude for Lute" Performed by Andrés Segovia off his 1987 Album Segovia Collection, The (Vol. 1): All-Bach Program , composed by Johann Sebastian Bach in 1714 (probably.)

Crazy Fact: Bach the old perve married his cousin.


Monday, January 17, 2005

Screaming at Space Mountain. (Part Three)

Confused, I walk across the enormous 'Magic Kingdom' to my ultimate fear. Space mountain.

We are on the other side of the park in 'Frontierland' and I can see it, emerging from behind Cinderella's castle. Look at that monstrosity it's at least 10 stories high. Whatever is enclosed in that massive outer shell is obviously going to kill me.

How the hell did Wesam say 'c'mon pif' and bang I'm on my way to the death chamber. Just like that. He could get me to play russian roulette. fucking hell. I'm walking spanish over here. I look up again Though we are still probably a Kilometer away from it's base, it's massive hulking mass is very intimidating. My brain is racing with excuses, I'm trying them out and none of them'll fit. Shit. I'm cornered like a rat.

We get to the base of Space Mountain. The line up is like nothing I've ever seen, we've walked by it now for about 2 and a half minutes. And we just got to the entrance of the building. We start our ascent up Mount Doom. There's three of us. I guess that makes me gollum, great. We know what happens to gollum. I wonder which of these two is Frodo, probably Wesam. Definitely Wesam he just got that huge engagement ring for Sonia, that's the ring of power alright, so that makes Kelly Sam Wise. Alright, so now I know before I jump I have to bite off Wesams finger and watch for Kelly, she'll try to stop me. Ok, got it.

There's ominous space music playing. 'Alien' Landscapes to our right through portholes. Photos of nebulas and asteriods. I guess this is a space station thing. The line of eternal boredom that started about 1200 feet ago continues to my left. So Many People. Like Lambs to the slaughter, I think to myself. Wait a Minute I'm a lamb! I'm the Fast Tracked Lamb. Early to rise early to Die. Early bird gets the Death. All these space images... Walt you wily old fucker you did it again, but I know what your up to. I'm on to you. We climb up this steep ramp forever, well at least ten minutes. I look at the indifferent faces of the damned as I pass them by. I feel screaming 'We're ALL GONNA DIE!!" but I'd probably get arrested for terrorism.

Me: I'm going to scream the whole way like a little girl. You know that.
Wesam: (laughing) Oh, you know it.

Ok, that didn't help.

We finally make it to the front of the line. Our three seater missile of idiocy arrives. We step in. It locks us down. We sit there for several months as my hands sweat, my mouth dries out and my bladder pulsates. Wow. I'm really locked in good. shit. They really didn't lock me in to the last one. I wonder if that's a legal thing, or there just doing it to scare me, cause I really don't need any help. I think I can feel my hair turning white.

Wesam turns around smiling and gives me the thumbs up. It might as well have been the Devil himself. The moment he turns back the happy Disney employee pulls a giant lever like the one in Eraserhead and we start to roll. My stomach starts to jump around threatening to empty it's contents at any moment. We turn the corner and drop. I yelp. My stomach is very very unhappy with me. We stop for seemingly no reason. Hey that wasn't too bad.

Wesam: Not so bad hey buddy? You just wait.

We go into a giant tube with lights shooting past and they are counting down and it's REALLY REALLY Lame. Oh my god. I was scared of this?! We accelerate at an even pace as we head off the 'Launch pad.' Lame lame lame. This is so late fifties I could puke. Jesus. Splash Mountain could take this loser ride APART. We 'speed' toward the end of the tunnel with the count down increasing in volume and the pulsating lights flashing till I'm nearly having a seizure. lame. truely lame.

When we turn the corner. I start to scream and I don't stop for five minutes. Not like before, worse. Louder. Uncontrollably. So hysterically. Now like a bat but a panicked ancient bat, who knows only fear.

When turned the corner we fell into utter darkness. That's how it stayed. For about 5 minutes of sustained terror. My mind went into a test pattern. Green screen of death. A system freeze, the mac bomb, followed by a hard re-boot to my unicellular ancestors. It was a fear that transcended time, transcended my species, my genetic make up. It went back behind the world wars, behind the discovery of bronze, before horses, before meteors wiped out the dinosaurs, before I had a spine, or anyone else. It was as primal as any fight for survival, as the first fight for survival. I was in the original living nightmare.

And locked in to that seat. I had only one way to express myself, to scream and boy did I scream.

All the facilities I relied on for my survival were taken from me. It was pitch black I was blind as a bat (fitting) My legs were locked into Apollo 13 over here and my hands, this time, were both freaking out. They had nothing to hold on to, they were lost to me, they had become like my ancestral tentacles of my great grandfather jelly fish, the were on there own. It was every cell for itself at this point.

The screaming continued. I tried to stop it. I couldn't. It stopped for a moment as I took a deep breath, I tried to hold it back but it started up right away, there was nothing I could do, it was hysterical. So embarrassingly and utterly beyond my control.

My mouth was wider then ever, my eyes were the size of saucers. With every turn, shake and dip into the nothingness my stomach tensed tighter and then tighter. My testicles ran hid behind my kidneys. What a picture to send home. How was Disney World 'the happiest place on earth'? And there is the picture of me, arms flailing, mouth agape, eyes wide, nutless, looking deep into my own mortality, rationality lost to the world. A being of pure fear. Oh, it was great.

Wesam and Kelly were also hysterical, but with laughter. They we laughing so loud, hard and long that every time I took a breath I could hear them laughing as uncontrollably as my screaming, at my screaming.

I'm so glad I didn't sit in the front. Thank you god for small favours.

When I got off. I was smiling, laughing, purified, twice in one day, an experience beyond reckoning. Something bigger, more emotional then anything if experienced in this lifetime. My body so pleased to be alive, so sure that it was going to be torn to pieces by wolves, or sharks or a bigger meaner super amoeba. nothing doing. Here I stand renewed twice in one day, I'm sure 50 percent of my blood was adrenaline and my stomach will never fully recover, but whatever.

The happiest man alive is the one shot at and missed.

Today's Song of the Day is "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin from "BBC Sessions" recorded in 1969.

Crazy Fact: I screamed louder and longer that this. I was unbelievable.


Sunday, January 16, 2005

Screaming at Space Mountain. (Part Two)

So we float down The River Styx on our long, deep voyage into the accurséd bowels of 'Splash Mountain' (what a deceptive name 'Mountain of Inhuman Terror' is more like it.) It's dark, but they lull you into a feeling of safety with bier rabbit and bier wolf and the gang playing their banjos, chewing their hick grass with creepy animatronic repetition.

We burst into bright sun light and drop off the edge of a cliff. I Scream spontaneously. The fear grips me a squeezes out a Scream. Nothing you can do about it. We hit the bottom with a splash and a jet of water.

Fuck. What a bunch of pansies. That was nothing. Fuck! They looked scared as hell. It looked so much bigger from the other side. I relax and lean back. That was a short ride. I feel a little ripped off, by in the end I'm pleased that I didn't puke, die or embarrass myself.

I float by the disney characters getting their animantronic selves into all kinds of wacky situations. We leisurely float into another dark tunnel that goes black as pitch and drops into oblivion. The fear takes hold again and my mind melts into a blind panic. There is no thought. Only a sustained, high pitched scream. We splash to a halt in the darkness.

My higher functions are returned to me as Primal Fear Pif recedes back into his pre-cambrian cave. The first thought that comes to me is 'Well that was a little embarrassing' and then comes the spontaneous laughter, we are all laughing and I think to myself. Shit this ride isn't over yet.

Yet more happy but tortured disney animals on this journey though the abyss. Look at them, ghosts of a story some poor farmer or slave told another 100s of years ago, while struggling in toil through hot southern summers, twisted by Disney into a dollar bill. It's really bizarre, this is a haunted house.

The only words I remember from the whole 'ride', which now I'm sure is short for 'hell-ride' is 'Let's see if we can find your laughing place.' This is spoken by Two vultures with black top-hats perched in front of a gravestone. They said it in that 'squeal like a pig, boy' sort of voice, while being lit from below. It was ominous and frightening. It foreboded a great calamity as we and our little floating death log was carried up and up and up a giant conveyor belt. Evil voices Laughing, surrounding us from all sides. Flashing demonic eyes appearing in the darkness. Suddenly a burst of light and we are high above the park I can see clear to the ocean. The view is breathtaking.

Then we drop.

Fear takes hold and squeezes. As the log of safety lurches forward, fear grips harder. The point of balance shifts suddenly. Since all the weight is distributed to the front, I am launched forward out of the seat. Terror adds a another firm grip. Two hands of fear squeezing the rationality out me. One was really enough. My stomach tightens. My legs straighten, worsening my situation. As the full weight is pulled down the infinite drop ahead of me, my ass is up in the air desperate to be attached to the seat. I became aware of my screaming at this point, I think it's had been going on for some time. I am sure of my death at this point. With all my fears and resulting supernatural strength I try to pull my ass down into my log coffin. The speed and acceleration are nearly unbearable. My mind is numb. My senses are on fire. My legs are strong with a primal survival instinct to run or jump. Jump is the really worry. My left hand is in total panic. I don't know what it's doing. Its reaching around for something to hold on to, waving around in the air, hitting me in the head... it's gone bye-bye. My right hand is so firmly gripped on to the plastic bar directly in front of me that it hurt for days.

The screaming was incredible. High-pitched, unnatural, definitely not masculine in the least. not even feminine, past feminine, past little boy, past little girl, more like a bat, but louder, much much louder. I think I dropped about 150 feet, though, I felt I was dropped from a plane, and though I aged a year, when we teetered, tipped and careened down down down it probably took only 3 or 4 seconds.

When we splashed to the bottom. I felt lucky to be alive. Laughing and exuberant. Like the kids in Star Wars when the trash-compactor stopped closing in on them.

When I climbed up splash mountain I was just a boy when I got back down, I was a man.

There is something cleansing about that fear. For a moment there was nothing but fear, nothing, no school, no friends, no clothes, no fingers, no ideas only fear. wow.

On our way off the ride another family walks up to us.

Family: Excuse me.
Sonia: Yes, can I help you?
Family: Our little boy is very sick and we have to go.
Sonia: Oh that's terrible, will he be alright?
Family: Oh yes But we have these fast passes and we can't use them.
Sonia: oh really...
Family: Would you like them?
Sonia: oh thank you, very much.
Family: We have four can you use them all?
Sonia: Yes we can.
Family: Have fun.
Sonia: Thanks, I hope he feels better.

Me: Wow, that was nice of them. What are they for?
Sonia looks at them smiles and looks at me with a hungry evil look.
Me: no way.
Sonia: Space Mountain!
Me: uh-uh
Sonia: Yes! It's fate!
Me: Look I'll puke, I will, that's no fun for anyone
Sonia: That's what you said last time.

I pause while I search for my next excuse

Wesam: C'mon, Pif.
Me: Ok.

How did he do that?! Wesam pushed some macho button or something. How did he do that? I'm not macho. Why am I doing this? I don't understand how he did that. It's an old Arabic mind-trick. I don't want to do this. 'C'mon, Pif' worked on me?! What?! This is impossible.

(to be continued...)

Today's Song of the Day is "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers off their 1989 album "Full Moon Fever."

Crazy Fact: MCA wanted to release the 1981 follow-up to record to Damn the Torpedoes, at the list price of $9.98, which was a high price at the time. Petty refused to comply to their wishes, threatening to withhold the album from the label and organizing a fan protest that forced the company to release the record at $8.98. nice.


Saturday, January 15, 2005

Screaming at Space Mountain. (Part One)

It's 50s alright. It's called 'Tomarrowland' for christ-sake. I was half expecting to see Rocket Robinhood. Which actually would have been really cool, I'd get my picture taken with him in a heartbeat, Minnie and Goofy can stick it. but I reserve my real ire for 'beast' and 'the genie' and 'simba' they fucking bite it. But that's a different story.

Sonia: We going on Space Mountain and so are you.
Me: No way, I get car sick.
Sonia: C'mon...
Me: Look at that thing!
Sonia: You cannot go to Disney and not go on the rides.
Me: Do you want me to puke on the back of your head.
Sonia: Ok pif, you wait here.
Me: Excellent.

As I walk away I look up at the sign that says it's a 65 minute wait for this ride. Yikes.

Well, I wander over to the video arcade of course it's the biggest arcade I've ever seen in my life. They have it all, Street Fighter II, Dungeons and Dragons, X-men, I'm pretty happy about it. More importantly, a whole WALL of pinball. fucking SWEET. Pinball is hard to find these days. Most importantly they have creepshow, I got down on creepshow. 15 bucks later I go back to meet them.

Wesam looks like he stood to close to jet engine his hair is all crazy and swooped over to the side and you couldn't kick the smile off his face. There were happy and laughing and even said the 65 minute wait was worth it. Even still I'm glad it wasn't me.

Sonia: What did you do?
Me: I played 15 bucks worth of early nineties vids and pinball.
Sonia: You come to Disney World and you play Pinball?
Me: Hey Pinball is hard to find these days!
Sonia: Pinball!? What year is it?
Me: Well here in "tomorrowland" it's hard to tell. It could easily be 1956.
Sonia: You are getting on a ride You hear me?! Splash mountain, your on it.
Me: Never.

At Splash Mountain's crescendo, I have never, up to that point in my life, been so afraid.

When your coming on to the 'ride' you see one of those 'logs' with four rows of people on it emerging from a cave and dropped off a precipice down a 70 degree waterfall. They emerge screaming and the intensity of their screaming increases as they slip off the edge and speed toward there watery graves at uncomfortable and unnatural speeds. Their faces possessed by an apparent mind-melting fear and their mouths are open to a bizarre and inhuman degree. Young and old, male and female, of all colours and religions faced with the void react the same, as humans, with their mouths open so wide that it hurts, screaming uncontrollably. Fear once again brings all peoples of the earth together. Unity in fear. Disney, once again, is a metaphor for all agencies of power Government, Religion, Mothers Against Drunk Driving you name it.

It seems though the wait is a mere 55 minutes for the other suckers, we have 'fast passes', which is a license to feel like fat cats and cut to the front of a line that is literally 1500 feet long.

Ok, I'm running out of excuses here; 'motion sickness' isn't working, 'the lines too long' has just been cut short, and they're totally ignoring the coward angle, their defenses are too strong. and my jedi powers of charm are givin' me nuthin.'

Just before I get to the front of the line I eye the "last change to escape sign" No I can't, I'll never ever live that down. ok I'm doing it.

Them: Line up here sir.

For all I know this goes to a meat packing plant. Maybe this is how cows feel before the slaughter. Ooo fun, a conveyer belt.

Our 'log' arrives.

Me: Oh look, this casket seats 8 to 12.
Sonia (shoots me a smile and a 'don't you dare run for it' look) Get in you pansy!

I get in the back. DON'T GET IN THE BACK. I'm telling you this now, I wish some one had told me.

(to be continued...)

Today's Song of the Day is "Don't Go" by Yaz off their 1982 album "Upstairs at Eric's"

Crazy Fact: Vince Clarke had penned almost all of Depeche Mode's debut album, Speak & Spell, including their early dancefloor hit "I Just Can't Get Enough".


Friday, January 14, 2005


A personal account of the Tsunami


Before after and during satilite pictures of the tsunami.


For those of us living on the water I think we should look hard at these photographs.

Now I have to warn you I'm stepping on to the soap box.

To think, if the world put this effort into helping these countries when they weren't in a state of catastrophic emergency (literially earth shattering crisis). If people could look up from there own wealth for a moment and see the level of human suffering that goes on, on a daliy basis in the poorer countries of the world and respond with the same compassion. wow. what kind of a world we would live in then. People have it in them it's clear by the overwhelmming support, it's heartwarming, I hope people keep there eyes on the world. I hope it's not just a fad.

Already many of the sites, 'who's hearts go out to the crisis stricken' have taken down there link to the red cross. I guess we fixed that problem.

Today's Song of the Day is "Adagio for Strings" composed by Samuel Barber in 1936, performed here by The Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Leonard Bernstein, recorded in 1983.

Crazy Fact: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_toll


Thursday, January 13, 2005

The Burgers that time should have forgotten.

On our way to Orlando we stop in the worst McDonalds on the Planet. It was a cross between a patchwork of every McDonald's I've ever been to through the years and a tar paper shack. There were slabs of blackened untreated plywood over the 'bun machine' or 'burger machine' or whatever it is. I haven't seen the textures or colours in the 'wall coverings' since the seventies and the tile floor, well, what was left of the tile floor was early sixies for sure. Everything would be cool and retro if it wasn't the ugliest sixities and seventies shit I'd ever seen.

The boards over most of the windows were blocking out most of the light, thank mericiful jesus, because the bastard behind my eyes wouldn't stop screaming at me in bright sunlight. This Ancient McDonalds better shut that bastard up.

Me: I swear I can still taste the champagne.
Wesam: I need coffee.
Me: I don't want to taste the champagne anymore.
Wesam: I think American coffee is going to be awful.
Me: I can't believe you Losers passed out before midnight.
Wesam: I need Tim Hortons.
Me: The ONE night you guys pass out early is the ONE night of the year every else stays up.
Wesam: You did good pif. you did good.
Them: your order, sir.

I was half expecting those old styrofoam containers. no luck. The signage and the drive through were all eighties. the parking lot was shot to hell. The plants even seemed to be trapped in time. In a very sad time. Goddamn that Sun! Fucking Sunshine State.

Me: I'm not feeling very Disney.
Wesam: Join the club.

I look at the crew. Julian's happy enough munchin fries, but the rest of us have that new years day thousand yard stare. What the hell are we getting ourselves into. Disney World. Jeesus. I fear the worst.

Me: Jeesus, did you get a load of the McDonalds that time forgot.
The crew in unison: oh yeah.
Me: Good God.
Sonia: I think the sign still said '50 million served.'
Wesam: There coffee is awful.
Sonia: It's like water, isn't it.
Wesam: It's like water!

I look back at the McDonalds as we drive away and concentrate on it. I try to will it to collapse with my long dormant Pyschic powers. No luck. still dormant. maybe they'll will come to me in Disney World. ooo. That would be cool.

I unwrap my 'meal.' Flattened, ugly and smelly, that's a McDonalds cheese burger alright not much has changed through the years. Should I really eat this thing? It came out of that time machine? Fuck it. I'll probably puke anyway. Might as well.

Today's Song of the Day is "Take A Chance On Me" by ABBA off their 1978 album "The Album."

Crazy Fact: In 1973 they had the unwieldy name of Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha & Frida. Hikes!


Wednesday, January 12, 2005

A Bird and a Pair of Nuts.

I was walking down the street thinking about new ways to study, because my study habits have run aground and my schedule has changed. I was already a little confused when I reached victoria park to try my study in a coffee shop method on spring garden road when a whole shelled peanut fell clear out of the sky and landed at my feet.

'plop' (a nut hitting the ground sound effect)

It wobbled a bit from left to right before coming to a halt. I half expected it to open it's eyes and sprout legs like mr. hanky or like the gingerbread man and run into the bushes. it didn't.

MEAN ME: shows over. go study pif.

OTHER ME: oh yeah studying (pause) would you look at that peanut. pretty cool...

MEAN ME: go study.

OTHER ME: ...a peanut.


OTHER ME: ...hey it's not everyday god offers me manna from heaven.

MEAN ME: It was a bird. Go study.

OTHER ME: It COULD have been a bird, I guess.


OTHER ME: ok ok ok jeeze.

I've had this song stuck in my head all freaking day so I'm sending it out to y'all to exorcize the demon.

Today's Song of the Day is "Pavane" performed by Judi Silvano off her 1996 album "Vocalise" this was originally composed by Maurice Ravel in 1899.

Crazy Fact: Maurice Ravel called this "Pavane Pour Une Infante Defunte" for those out there who don't speak french it means, "Pavane for a Dead Princess" that's not so crazy... how about Young Maurice Ravel had to be bribed six sous an hour to practice the piano.


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

I Thought I Was Taking a Plane.

When every flight is delayed or cancelled because of heavy snow fall, it takes me seven minutes to make a leisurely stroll from one end of the Halifax International Airport to the other. Birds got in to the airport somehow and where chirping in the rafters and flying around it was serene, for me anyway. I wish everyone else could have been as relaxed about it.

Halifax is so small. I saw my old boss and we chatted for a while. I was having a pretty good time really. Hung out, drank in the airport with the other stranded airport drunks untill we were completely shit out of luck. Then we went home... very tired.

There is a certain comradery with those who go through an unfortunate situation together. I was still hoping I'd get into a deep conversation with some amazing girl and we'd fall in love, no dice.

When is flying like taking the train? When your snowed in drinking in the bar. It takes you two days to get to where your going and you meet some great folks in the bar car.

Today's Song of the Day is "Just A Gigolo/ I Ain't Got Nobody" performed by Louis Prima off his 1957 Album "The Wildest!"

Crazy Fact: In 1967, Disney tapped Prima to voice the character of King Louie, ruler of the orangutans, in its animated adaptation of The Jungle Book; his featured number, the swinging "I Wanna Be Like You," Crazy Speaking of Disney I'll talk to you tomarrow.


Monday, January 10, 2005

Eternal whatsitcalled of the Spotless Mind

Ok I went to the library and took out an armful of CDs to peruse. One of them is Michelle Shocked - Short Sharp Shocked, I thought to myself, I've always meant to check that puppy out so I'll give it a listen.

I slap it in, First Song: "When I Grow Up" oh yeah I remember this song, cool. Next song "Hello Hopeville." Hey wait I know this song! 'Memories Of East Texas' is next. I know this one too! What the hell? This is creepy. I look at the cover, I'm sure I've never seen it before. then comes "(Making The Run To) Gladewater" What the hell? Every fricking song. I know them all, but from where? OK so WHOEVER of my friends used to listen to this all the time in my presence let me know 'cause I'm losing it. EVERY SONG on this album... I can pretty much sing all the lyrics, so who was it? Anna? Dennis? Somebody, Anybody tell me. I feel like a part of my brain is missing.

It seems too coincidental to me that I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, It's making me nervous. I'm impulsive. What did I do? Well if that's the case then why did I hold on to these other really shitty memories.

anyway... WHO IS IT!?

Today's Song of the Day is "Graffiti Limbo" by Michelle Shocked off her 1988 album "Short Sharp Shocked."

Crazy Fact: Her mother had her committed to a psychiatric hospital. She was released when her insurance ran out. nice country. wow. that really is a crazy fact.


Sunday, January 09, 2005


I arrived in the Tampa Bay Airport exhausted but warm.

As I came out of the arrival gate I saw a fit late fifties woman sitting, dressed to her causal best with a single rose in her hand. She teetered on the edge of hope and disappointment, on the verge of tears. She caught my attention because her eyes flashed at me with a hope of recognition. Then she turned inward and put on her best 'stay positive' smile while her eyes watered a little. She blinked pulling them back, holding on to years of fading beauty and that fragile hope that it would pull her through one last time. She was alone with her hopes and fears battling inside.

Whoever she was waiting for was inconsequential, this crumbling was inevitable. Eventually the reliance on our greatest strengths forces them under, to buckle, to their knees. Alone, humbled, looking for answers, confronted with the end of strength and the beginning of weakness. Our reliance is the shackle, unbuckle it, let it rest in it's watery grave, in truth, it was only a crutch in disguise.

Her vulnerability was so impressive. She revealed this silent emotional struggle in a way where she almost glowed. I watched as hope's shield held against a powerful disappointment. I fight this fight myself. It's good to see I have at least 20 or so more years of fight left in me.

I got this song stuck in my head ever since.

Today's Song of the Day is "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" by released in 1959 by The Platters.

Crazy Fact: This was written in 1933 for the musical Roberta, starring Bob Hope. The lyrics were written by Otto Harbach and the music by Jerome Kern.


Saturday, January 08, 2005

Bored with Regis and Kelly

Live with Regis and Kelly really is the lowest depths Television has ever sunk. I rank it lower then Springer or 7th Heaven or even Full House. It's awful. Shotty production values, utterly un-interesting crap-o-la, It happened to be on and I watched a bit of 'the wedding special' it was beyond boring, the banter was stale as far as I could tell they Regis and Kelly didn't even like each other. Everyone seemed pissed off at each other. 'Seal' was the musical guest, he talked and looked like his was in a dentists office awaiting bad news. Hunched over and bored, just like me. Lame lame lame. I can't believe television gets worse every time I turn it on.

Today's Song of the Day is "Good Times Bad Times" by Led Zeppelin off there 1969 album 'Led Zeppelin.'

Crazy Fact: Bonzo (John Bonham) used only one bass drum and pedal to play this song. car-razy.


Friday, January 07, 2005

Mmm Back

Happy new year!

So many stories. It's hard when you try to tell the stories to people, you don't know where to start everything seems tied together so they won't understand the signifigance of the later thing without the first thing which gives away the end so what do you do?

I'm still trying to figure out where to start. Nonetheless let the music flow while I think.

Today's Song of the Day is "Without Me" by Eminem off his 2002 ablum "The Eminem Show."

Crazy Fact: His song "Kim" ended his marriage, as the song's chosen topic (violently murdering his real life wife Kim Mathers) drove his spouse to a suicide attempt before they divorced.