Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Quandry of the Bathing Cat.

Why the HELL to cats hate water so much? It's madness. If you have seen a wet angry cat then you can appreciate the genius of this:

How To Bathe a Cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any
purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power wash and rinse' which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

I'm getting married in three days. Fortunately it doesn't feel even remotely real yet. Maybe I'm the cat. maybe the toliet bowl is the cemomony but after those three or four flushes I can "rocket out" dry off and I'll be a better cat than I was before I went in.

Today's Song of the Day is "Hang Onto Yourself" by David Bowie off his 1972 album "The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars."

Crazy Fact: In 1977, he helmed Iggy Pop's comeback records The Idiot and Lust for Life, and toured anonymously as Pop's keyboardist.


Friday, December 15, 2006

Going to the Chapel and we're taking a vallium.

Here is a video of me after the ceremony is over and I realize I never EVER have to do that again.

This also the outfit I've picked out for the honeymoon suite. And if your coming to the wedding this is the dance we are all going to do in celebration of this joyous day... except the ceremony part of the day. I want to skip the ceremony. I can't really find many allies on this one. I'm incredibly nervous about this ceremony business. I like the being married part, I just don't like the ceremony part. I need a way to calm the nerves so I don't have a panic attack. I'm thinking vallium. That's the only thing in my bag of tricks so far, but if anyone to lend me a trick ot two, it would be super handy. I've always said I'll need a diaper or a gurney to make it through the ceremony. I thought I was joking. Now I'm not so sure. I'd perfer a stretcher to a totally panic attack meltdown, like space mountain, where I scream like a bat uncontrollably. It was ok in the dark and on a rollercoster, but in a hall in front of all my friends and new family... not really an option, more like a very real nightmare.

Today's Song of the Day is "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads off their 1977 album "Talking Heads: 77".

Crazy Fact: In 1976, keyboardist Jerry Harrison, a former member of Jonathan Richman's Modern Lovers, was added to the lineup.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

It's been that long.

Hey everybody. I only have one exam left and I get married in just under two weeks.

This is one of those situations where you have too much to say so you say nothing. Where to start? Well I'll make make small talk instead. Three things that I find astounding:

They are making a Moon Base. ( Dude!!!)
They found flowing water on Mars. (Evian has bought the rights... Joking)
Sarah quit smoking. (Love that girl.)
Boeing has invented a solar panel that captures 40% of the suns energy (Ok 4 Things. That's up from 18%)

That's the kinda solar panels they have in the world which burns no oil. That stops interfering in the affairs of the middle east, that doesn't create CO2 and allows you to generate your own power. I like that world. That world also has a base on the moon, which is very very 70s TV of them.

Ok the C++ is calling me.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Prettiest Star" by David Bowie off his 1973 album "Aladdin Sane."

Crazy Fact: I'm Alive.