Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Telling People.

It was weird I felt strangely reluctant to tell Caleb that I was getting married. It was a goodbye party for him and Mara, because now back for 10 hours from their honeymoon they are driving to Vancouver to start a new life. Caleb got into Law school at UBC so that was that and off they go. Graduated, married, accepted and across the country he goes. Anyway... I was strangley relucant to tell him. I think it was 'cause he was surrounded by people but I knew it was my only chance 'cause I knew I had to do it in person. It's oddly embarrasing or something. Me and Sarah sat there periodically looking at each other with strange looks of "now?" and "Whadayathink?" and "I don't know" and "This is weird."

Anyway it's weird. I kind feel like it's none of their business. With every person I tell it changes our relationship at bit. I'm not sure how. Every reaction has an impact. Each one is slightly different, I'm very sensitive to each one and each one stays with me. They are all quite earnest and honest and different and complex. It's a little overwhelming and anti-climatic at the same time. Each time it's not what I expect. Anyway... that's my rant on the subject for now.

Today's Song of the Day is "Shake Your Rump" by the Beastie Boys off their 1989 album "Paul's Boutique"

Crazy Fact: This album was made right after their messy, litigious departure from Def Jam and their flight from their beloved New York to Los Angeles.


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Going to the Chapel (or something)

Sarah asked me to Marry her 5 times.

I said yes everytime but I said I needed a ring four of those times. Does that make me a princess? I believe I'm capable of being a princess, but I still don't think it makes me a princess, this time.

I have a ring so we are getting married.


ok that's big news so that's all for today.

Today's Song of the Day is "I Will" by The Beatles off their 1968 album" White Album."

Crazy Fact: Before the Beatles, Ringo Starr drummed for a Band called Rory Storm & the Hurricanes.


Monday, August 29, 2005

No Flyers Please

New and evermore irritating ways of spamming are invented every damn day. I've bee getting strange and annoying spam in my comments recently. It's fucking annoying.

Spam is like flyers sent directly into my brain. I have to read just enough to understand it's spam, just enough to know what the hell penis enlargement pill or "super secret" stock tip or way to save on gas they're offering. Just long enough to piss me off.

"Listen up you bite-hole spammer, you are a fucking discomfort that is most noticable when I should be most fucking comfortable!"

"and if you do not listen, then to Hell with you!" -Conan the Barbarian (talking to Crom)

Today's Song of the Day is "Summertime Rolls" by Jane's Addiction off their 1988 album "Nothing's Shocking."

Crazy Fact: In the 1997 Jane's Addiction reunion tour Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea played bass.


Sunday, August 28, 2005

Ass-Neck Key to Universal Understanding.

My neck hurts like fucking CRAZY. It's an extremely frustrating sort of pain because it was pretty much non-existent all day until went home. Now it only hurts when I put my head down. That's totally unfair. When you feel shitty the one thing the universe should allow you to do is lay the fuck down. This dirty universe is out to get me today. This universe is a real pain in the neck. I guess that's why they call it a pain in the neck 'cause you can't lie down... I guess the same goes for a pain in the ass, because you can't sit down. So instead of saying,

"Buddy your a fucking pain in the fucking ass!"

I should say,

"Buddy your like a fucking discomfort that is most noticable when I should be most fucking comfortable!"

Hey that works. The universe make more sense today than yesterday! AWESOME! oh I get it, nice, so now i'm supposed to thank the universe for this pain in my neck for the greater understanding it's provided me. bullshit. Fuck you universe! I want to lie down you asshole.

And you! Conscience, I got a thing or two to say to you when I'm through with the universe over here so SHUT IT! and don't be so fucking TOUCHY. Fuck! I'm surrounded by ASSHOLES! and my NECK hurts! AAARG!

Today's Song of the Day is "You Might Think" by The Cars off there 1984 album "Heartbeat City."

Crazy Fact: They are from Boston. not crazy... the nickname of the producer of this album is "Mutt."


Saturday, August 27, 2005

New Blogger

My friend Celery (yes I AM in a weird name club) has just started a blog. Here's the link:

Everybodies bloggin' baby. get on it! Stare deep into that navel of yours and tell the WORLD what you see. You'll never look back, actually you'll never look away. The level of self-involvement sky rockets after the first two weeks. One you get over the reality of what your doing, you start to believe people are actually reading what you have to say. Once that happens you start to believe people actually CARE what you have to say. Then it's over your navel become a gate way to the mysteries of the universe.

That's how it begins.

Today's Song of the Day is "Hang Onto Yourself" by David Bowie off his 1972 album "The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars."

Crazy Fact: In 2002 Lightfoot suffered a near-fatal abdominal hemorrhage while performing in his hometown of Orillia, Ontario, causing him to cancel his fall tour and putting him in a coma.


Friday, August 26, 2005

Copyright is Unethical. (Part 1)

I think copyright should be abandoned.

Yes, totally abandoned.

I publish this blog for free. You read it for free. I want to write it, you want to read it. All free. So I'm no hypocrite on the subject. And doods... it takes a chunk of time, let me tell you. But I want to. I'm not motivated to write for profit. Where expression is concerned, 'the profit motive' is an impediment, and it simply doesn't belong.

Music and 'art' motivated by profit fucking sucks, it's bad art. Brittany Spears is BAD music. An inspired musician/writer/painter would do it where they were paid or not. It seems to me that an individual who has something to express, fights for the freedom to do so. They fight for an audience, they just want to be heard. They need to express something and they need it to be heard.

Not to mention 99.991% of musicians make their bread through performance, not through record sales. Ask any local musician. Look at a Symphony. All the music they perform is Public Domain. For the most part they aren't rolling in bills, but hey, neither am I, neither are you. Those at the very top are a little over paid anyway.

End of my first point.

Today's Song of the Day is "Radio Free Europe" by R.E.M. off their 1983 album "Murmur."

Crazy Fact: Michael Stipe frequented the Wuxtry record store where Peter Buck was a clerk. Buck had been a fanatical record collector, consuming everything from classic rock to punk and free jazz, and was just beginning to learn how to play guitar. Discovering they had similar tastes, Buck and Stipe began working together.


Thursday, August 25, 2005

Cast and Crew

My last few posts were about Caleb's wedding. There are some shots on my site from the wedding if you want to check them out do it.

I personally like to put face to names and whatnot. Andnot to mention. ok ok to mention, 'cause I'm totally mentioning it right now... if your interested enough in my life to read my blog it's your duty to see what the hell these people look like. DUTY I tell you DUTY! The problem with you kids today is you know nothing of duty, like to one's parents and the Crown and to Patriarchy and to Jesus. No respect for tradition I tell you none what-so-ever. Sinful. Simply sinful.

Today's Song of the Day is "Hound Dog" by Big Mama Thornton, released as a single in 1953.

Crazy Fact: Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton dressed like a man and took no guff from anyone, except maybe Elvis. She recorded "Hound Dog" in 1953 and it held down the top slot on Billboard's R&B charts for seven long weeks. Then Elvis covered it.


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Penetrating Stare (Part Two)


Many moons ago I was in The Marquee Club talking to her. She was drunk, I was drinking. She went to get another drink and two other younger/cuter/thinner girls come over and talk to me. I was having a good night. When our she returned with another drink she tried to muscle back into position. I must say I kind of liked watching them vie for position. Finally, one of the other girls looked at her, looked at me, looked back at her and did shoes to hair size up, turned back to me and said.

"You've GOT to be kidding."

It's was so arrogant and rude. I was totally shocked. So I stumbled and said,

"Actually were OLD friends." Then I gave her a disgusted look and turn my back on the two of them. They wandered off.

Well now I was her Knight in Shining Armour, her defender. So what was just idle banter now heated up. uh-oh. I don't really like this. I'm being friendly, but I feel like I committed to something by defending her and now I'm gently defending myself from her drink buying and long looks.

Somewhere during one of those hair twirling, glassy-eyed long looks she works up the courage to use her killer line. So with a bit of a hair fluffing, and a wiggle she says the worst thing I've ever heard. What makes it so bad isn't just the disturbingly factual and personal nature of the sentence, but also that it's intended effect was so off target. So very very VERY off target. So with the sexiest lick of her teeth she can muster she arches her back a little, twirls her hair on the end of her finger and says in a breathy voice,

"I haven't been penetrated in 8 months."

I'm stunned, mouth open staring back at her, eyes wide with fear.

"Ok, I'll do it. THEM. Fold them. that way, her way. Yes. Yes we certainly can fold those Napkins the other way." Suddenly I'm back from the past, looking at her recognize me in the same moment I remember her. I hope to god, she remembers something else.

"Oh, good" She smiles and leaves. I can't get a read on her, but I can get a read on Sarah and she's fuming.

I love cheering her up. I'm pretty good at it. When she got that grumpy look on her face and I can totally melt it into smiles... ah makes me feel good. So I do, it does. and no matter what the Caterer says from that point on it's so much easier to bare.

And we all made fun of her ever after. The End.

Today's Song of the Day is "Drinkin' Wine Spo-dee-o-dee " by Jerry Lee Lewis which was released as a single in 1958.

Crazy Fact: "Drinking Wine Spo-Dee O-Dee" was written during WWII by Stick McGhee, the brother of blues great Brownie McGhee. Stick first recorded it in 1946 on Harlem, then again in 1949 for Atlantic.


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Penetrating Stare (Part One)

I think this is hilarious. It kind of at Somebody's expense. Ah whatever, everybody says stupid stuff when they are drunk. Everybody who drinks should know how to take your beats, if you don't... don't drink and don't do stupid stuff.

ANYWAY... enough of the disclaimer.

So about 10-am Caleb's Mom calls me in a panic the day of her son's Wedding and says: "Reception... Mara's Crying... Please help... need you and Rob... anyone else... not enough time... boat club... go go go!"

So Robin, Sarah and I go down to the boat club and tell the people there we are here to help set up.

We stand around and look at them.
We stand around and look at each other.
We shrug.
We stand around and look at them, again.
We stand around and look at each other, again.
And again we shrug.

I break from the group and ask the closest, most frantic and vaguely familiar person what they want us to do. She looks at me. We pause as we both struggle to remember where we recognize each other from. She gives up and says we can fold napkins.

Pif: "Great, I know this AWESOME way to fold napkins my sweetheart taught once when I went to her work to beg forgiveness for sending an ill-conceived e-mail about how she spent her time with everyone else but me and in putting myself in her service napkin folding I worked my way back in to her heart and along the... Am I saying this out loud? ...nope."

Pif: "Great! I know this AWESOME way to fold napkins... um... Sarah taught me... um this is Sarah... it's cool. watch... I can't do it, show her baby."

Sarah silently, gracefully and expertly folds the napkin in the Tribecaesque dinnerware holding fashion and proudly presents it to this Vaguely familiar woman who I still can't place.

Caterer: "Umm No. Like this."

We are put out. We watch. Her way bites. Whatever it's not my Party. Rob, Sarah and I fold and talk. After we fold 80 or so, she comes back.

Caterer: 'How much are you going to hate me?'
Sarah: "Depends. What do you have to say."
Caterer: "I think we should fold the Napkins the other way."

We pause. Sarah hates do overs and repeating herself.

Sarah: "...sure."

The caterer turn to me for approval. Suddenly I flash to where I met her.

(to be Continued...)

Today's Song of the Day is "Avila and Tequila by Hank Mobley off his 1955 album "Hank Mobley Quartet."

Crazy Fact: In 1961, Mobley was hired to replace John Coltrane in Miles Davis' quintet.


Monday, August 22, 2005

Speech (Part Two)

When it's time to go to the ceremony I cram the fragments of my speech into my Tuxedo pocket.

I try to work on it before we go in.
I try to work on it while we are taking wedding photos in the gardens.
I try to work on it in the car to the reception.
And I, of course, talk about my wedding speech panic endlessly.

Whilst sushizing at the head table the best man, Wren, tells me he has written a speech and I can stand down.

"Thank GOD!" The swell of relief was intoxicating. I told everybody in the world that I didn't have to do a speech and how I'm now totally freaking out at how relieved I am, I get to caleb,

"Oh my god, no worries buddy, Wren's got a speech. We're good."

He put his hand on my shoulder and says, "Pif it would mean a lot to me if you also spoke at my wedding. I want to hear the one that makes you cry."

I felt like it was a scene out of the godfather. Like the "No Sicilian can refuse a request made on the day of his daughters wedding, but different. bastard.

The speeches start. FUCK! I tell Ariel, the MC, to give me time. He does. I start to write. I cut out everything that make me want to cry and rebuild feverishly.

Wren does his speech. It's a tear-jerker, show-stopper. fuck. I was going to put it up here but I left it in my Tux pocket. It was the whole "you sang me to sleep/ kept our family together/ held me when I was scared, you're the best big brother ever" sort of thing.

ME: "I'm going to PUKE that was so good! Jeesus!"
CALEB: "FUCK! I have to follow that?! Lord help us!"

Caleb is an asshole. His was just as good, it was to the mother of the bride. I work on my speech.

Robin get up and does his and it's funny and roasting and embarrassing for Caleb and perfect. I work on my speech.

And then finally, there's me, the one who thought about it the most. And it was just ok, like not good, not terrible just a little below average. It's totally anti-climatic, I get up, the mic squeals, hearing yourself speak is awful, I talk about how awful it is to hear your own voice. Everyone's looking at me, I talk about how everyone is looking at me. I say my four paragraphs. I run offstage before I toast. Run back raise my glass and be line for the back of the room. It's awkward. it's over.

I should have gone up and improvised. Writing is for suckers. Same goes for forethought.

Today's Song of the Day is "Smooth Operator" by Sade off her 1984 Album "Diamond Life."

Crazy Fact: She was born in Nigeria,


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Speech (Part One)

"I gotta do this speech 'cause Wren's backed out, and I'm fucking fucked. I wrote some stuff but it makes me cry when I read it. I'm a groomsman and I'm fucking fucked."

I think I said that sentence to about a hundred people before Caleb's wedding. I, of course, did that instead of working on a new speech. That's one of my little tricks.

The day before after about 10oz of courage I read some pieces of it to Mairi, she said it sounded pretty good. The day of the wedding I get up and try to read it to Sarah.

I couldn't say one word. Frozen with my mouth open, in some deep internal struggle and losing. I could not will my words through that thick complex membrane of emotion. All I could do open my mouth and blink.

"Baby, we got a problem."

Enter the Distractions.

Number One:
"yeah, yup.. ok. ok. rob is... rob can... we will... ok we got it. no problem."
"That was Caleb's mom. she's in a panic, we have to help set up the reception."

Number Two.
"I have to get my hair cut!"
(Don't get my haircut but I waste some time walking about and thinking about it.)

Number Three.
"We have to get a Card!"

Number Four.
"Your getting married today!"
"Your right."
"I'm freaking out about this speech thing and I was think I would just read that story I wrote about the right."
"Whatever you say or read I will be grateful..."
"You think that's bad I have to blow this Couch Shell during the ceremony! Look at this Mother! I'm scared shittless. just listen...Bruuuuuuuuuung!"

Number Five.
"I need to seperate the Quarters from the other change in the penny jar! It's Clearly gone TOO FAR!"

Today's Song of the Day is "Caprice No.16 in G minor" performed by Itzhak Perlman, Composed by Niccolò Paganini, first published in 1817.

Crazy Fact: This was the sound in my head. It is the very sound of Panic.


Saturday, August 20, 2005

7 Months

For 7 wonderful months Sarah and I have been going out. Unfortunately there has been one song Haunting me since that very first day.

When I woke up in Sarah's bed for the first time. My eye's popped open and "I'm a Boy" by The Who started playing in my head. It hasn't stopped. I think it was playing because I thought she was a lesbian and yet there I was, and well, simply put, I'm a boy. Well it's been many moons and I'm quite sure she likes boys now, and especially THIS boy so this song doesn't really apply... not that it ever applied it's about a boy who is forced to dress like a girl by his mother and gets beaten if he tries to be a boy. weird song. Anyway, to exorcise the Beast I'm going to send it out. If tried this in the past and it's worked ever time.

Today's Song of the Day is "I'm A Boy" by The Who released as a single in 1966, this version is off the 1994 Compliation "Thirty Years Of Maximum R&B."

Crazy Fact: Pete Townshend and John Entwistle met while attending high school in the Shepherd's Bush area of London.


Friday, August 19, 2005

Waiting at the alter.

The music kicks in and in a few moments Wesam, the best man, and the groomsman. trot down the alise and wait. I joke with Sarah and James and point out the window,

"Hey there's sonia running in the woods."

We laugh. And wait.

I try to rearranged the batteries on my camera to squeeze off a few more shots. And wait.

I look around at all the people I don't know make little waves at those I do. And wait.

I try to pinch Sarah's bum and giggle and kiss (Grossest couple at the wedding award) And wait.

I have to pee. I say I have to pee to anyone within range. And Wait.

I look for Sonia, back and up. I look at Wesam, forward and up. I look to the left and to the right. And wait.

I bounce my knee, drop the camera, avoid harsh stares, submit and give the camera to Sarah. and wait.

Then I think, If I was Wesam I'd be ready to kill. If Sarah Left me standing there for more than 3 minutes I'd turn around and start yelling,

"I'm DYYYING up here!"
"You're killing me!"
"ok everybody, it's a do over. I gotta pee."

And wait.

It's been about 5 or 6 songs and at least 20 minutes. I start to think my little joke is going to be in really bad taste if she broke her leg climbing out the window or something. And Wait.

Of course Just when your sure she's died up there she starts coming down.

And then the real waiting begins. Weddings are so damn slow.

Today's Song of the Day is "Overture to "Marriage Of Figaro" Performed by Concerto Köln conducted by René Jacobs from the Opera "Le Nozze di Figaro" written in 1786 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, here recorded in 2004.

Crazy Fact: He supposedly did have an Awful high-pitched laugh.


Thursday, August 18, 2005

A Volvo Personality.

I don't know anything about cars, but Volvo drivers are not like other car drivers. They are always in their cars doing something. I was walking through the Sobey's Parking lot and I saw three of them just sitting in the drivers seats, doing stuff. One guy was gluing his shoes together. Another guy was fixing some kind of machinery with a screwdriver and the last guy was working on his laptop.

I think I like Volvo drivers.

In the Sobey's parking lot I drew two more conclusions all Honda drivers crank their bad taste in music and all Ford drivers are twitchy. Two Ford drivers almost hit me and well. And for the most part Honda drivers are all "buum ssst buum ssst buum ssst..." But on this day some hip cats were playing this brand new single shamelessly cranked.

That's what Sobey's taught me about cars.

Today's Song of the Day is "Rhythm Is A Dancer" by Snap off their 1992 Album "The Madman's Return."

Crazy Fact: ok ok the rap guy in this band is named "Turbo B" not only does this guy drive a Honda but he is named after one too. yuk yuk yuk.


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I've been gone so long.


I've bee busy and haven't had the time or energy to got on this. But I'm going to start back presently. My brain is packed full of events and rants and stories. I just hope I can get them all out. So it begins.

Today's Song of the Day is "Long Gone Lonesome Blues" by Hank Williams as a single in 1950.

Crazy Fact: By the end of the 1952, Williams was having heart problems and Toby Marshall, a con man doctor, was giving him various prescription drugs to help soothe the pain.


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Never a Bad Link

James and Ulo send me the best links. FUCK this one is funny! Funny photos, but even funnier captions.

James Link: Black Metal

And Ulo's is funny 'cause it's True...

Ulo Link: Boozing

How many times have you follow one of the links some one sends you and you get to some page of cute baby pictures or stale Newfie jokes or other such lameness. Well these guys don't quit. And James, you get the 'How the HELL did you find that obscure page' Award.

Funny Funny.

Today's Song of the Day is "Lo Boob Oscillator" by Stereolab off their 1995 Compilation of Rarities and B-Sides "Refried Ectoplasm: Switched On, Vol. 2 "

Crazy Fact: In December 2002, a few months after the release of ABC Music, longtime Stereolab member Mary Hansen died at the age of 36 when the bicycle she was riding was hit by a truck.


Monday, August 15, 2005

Not So Much

I think Sarah is the Only person in the World that doesn't think Dave Chappell is funny and I think that kicks ass. Here are some of the things she had to say about it.

"The 'Black White Supremist' bit COULD'VE been funny but it wasn't, it was LAME."
"There were moments, but ultimately, it let me down."
"Just not funny."

I will laugh at anything, at everything actually, in poor taste, in good taste, fart jokes, Woody Allen, Elizabethian Comedie, The Simpsons, Americas Funniest Home Videos, short people, Tall people, Fat people, women, men, black, white ANYTHING. It's actually embarrassing. Like when you're in like Sears or something and showing on that bank of TVs is Full House or some such pap, and while stuck and bored you give in to watching. Next thing I know I'm all gaffaws and giggles. It makes me feel like less of a person when that happens. oooo Full House you ARE my Nemisis, I curse the Name.

Today's Song of the Day is "Sara" by Bob Dylan off his 1976 album "Desire."

Crazy Fact: Bob Dylan is still alive.


Sunday, August 14, 2005

To Pat Myself on the Back for a moment.


All that druggy speed shinnzle paid off... I got an 'A!' Not only did I get an 'A' but I also didn't tell the prof I was a retard, so it did not taint his opinion or affect my mark. Nor did I get extra time for tests or any such business, I forsoke all retard benefits and STILL got an A. sweet. And it verifies my decision to switch that credit to an Audit many moons ago and take it again later. phewf. That was a tough decision. Isn't great when a Plan comes together.

Today's Song of the Day is "Once" by Pearl Jam off their 1991 Debut album "Ten."

Crazy Fact: Pearl Jam cancelled their 1994 summer tour, claiming they could not keep ticket prices below 20 dollars because Ticketmaster was pressuring promoters to charge a higher price. The band took Ticketmaster to the Justice Department for unfair business practices. Cool.


Saturday, August 13, 2005

Wedding Invites

I have four on my fridge. They stare at me. I think I know what they want. When Sarah's in the next room, I stand in the kitchen and stare back.

"What was that baby?"
"You know I'm not pressuring you."
"I know."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm not talking to you"
"no I... I mean I WASN'T talking to you, not, NOT talking to you."
"Oh, then Who are you talking to"
"The fridge."
"Oh Good."

Dennis if you asked me for my address to send me one I'll kill you. This doesn't just mean I'm NEXT on the list, most importantly it means i'm LAST on the list, fucker.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Last One" by W.S. Mervin off the 2000 Compilation "The Caedmon Poetry Collection."

Crazy Fact: W.S. Mervin won the pulizer prize.


Friday, August 12, 2005

Goodtimes on the Old Homestead.

A sample of things I've heard across the street.

"I don't want to see you in my back yard, you fuckin' liar. You fucking pig."
"WOOooo HOOooo"
"get your fucking kids...blatherBlah BLAH!"
"Jeesus Mary'n Joseph!..."

I think there is about 15 or twenty of them eternally drunk peeking around 9 PM. They are all passed out by sunset. It's like living near a nest of Orcs. I think they play Horseshoes all day and drink, and yell at each other all day and drink, and smoke Export 'A' Green Filterless all day and drink.

A couple of days ago I saw what I assume to be the lord and lady of the manner. They are 60ish and groping each other on the stoop. It was kind of cute even though they were sa-MASHED. They stopped briefly and gave a quirky half mast sort of smile as I past, with some odd gesture of mutual Acknowledgment.

But last night the WHOLE tribe must of been there they were all singing... Singing really isn't the right word it was more like yelling in unison. There was also alot of misshapen verbal interpretation of guitar solos and other strange poorly timed sound effects. It was a sloppy vague cacophony, where every song sounded vaguely like "Sweet Home Carolina" or "Sweet Child o' Mine" or "Sweet Caroline" or maybe "the Rose." I kept turning down my music and trying to pick out what song there were singing. It kinda sounded like the same song everytime, sliding from side to side, in and out of tune, badly timed and gnarled in booze.

It was sort of awful. Sort of endearing. If it were a glass I would have seen it as half-empty of endearing, half-full of awful. But, I have a soft spot for the drunks of the world though, another might not have seen it the same.

Today's Song of the Day is "Killing Me Softly" by The Fugees off their 1996 Breaktrhough Album "The Score."

Crazy Fact: Lauryn Hill and Prakazrel Michel ("Pras") attended the same New Jersey High School.


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Too Hot.

It's too hot for me and I'm skinny as hell. Too hot. Too hot. Call me a complainer. But it's too hot. I hate this. Too hot. That's all I gotta say. It's too hot.

Today's Song of the Day is "Heat Miser" by Massive Attack off their 1994 album "Protection."
Too hot.

Crazy Fact: The original three members of Massive Attack are "Mushroom," "Daddy G" and a local graffiti artist "3D."
Too hot.

njoy, though it's too hot.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

iPod cPod uPod

This whole iPod thing is Out of control.

Jeesus Christ do I love Apple, you know that, but this iTunes, iPod, Music Store Triumpherant is nuts. It's like it's own freakin' Economy. I just noticed that they added the entire Frank Zappa catalogue. That just doesn't seem right. "movin' to montana soon, goin' to be a dental floss tycoon..." How can Frank Zappa really be the Lead ad for such a triumphant of technological insanity.


I don't know it's shocked me out of a delirium. It's made me think. I'm CLEARLY obsessed with mp3s. But this is too much. Apple is going to leverage MP3s to take over the world.

ok I take it back, that's cool with me.

I like Steve Jobs WAAY more than Bill Gates. I would totally pay to see them fight on American Gladiator: Billionaire Edition, that would be sweet. I'd put fuckin' money on Jobs.

Today's Song of the Day is "Freaky Styley" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers off their 1985 album "Freaky Styley."

Crazy Fact: Though this isn't the best track, George Clinton produced this Album of Masterful 80s Funk.


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

My Precious

I'm pretty unmaterialistic, except for one thing, DVDs. I needs to own the DVDs. I don't know why renting them isn't enough, but it's not. I think it might be spawned out of the fact that I hate TV so much. Commercials suck, it's distracting, I turn the channel and miss the thing I actually want to watch or get so irritated and wrangy over them that I stomp of it the kitchen to find something to sooth the irritation.

But Movies, baby, I loves the Movies. I wantses them, I needses them. I saw a Previously Viewed copy of 'The Life Aquatic' at Rogers for only 14 bucks. It's been haunting me for days. I don't just want to watch it, I want to OWN it. I want it to be MINE.

I think it's because I don't give a crap about all other permenant things money buys, so I focus all my energy into this one little place. Or it's cuz I'm old and like watch the same shit over and over again. It's not worth the gamble to watch some crappy movie that SUCKS. Also I figure if times are tough I could sell them. hmmf, dunno.

See with tunes I'll totally copy them, but Movies I want to own the Real thing. I Must Haveses it.

OK time to nuke some popcorn and watch 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' Again OR maybe the 'The Lion in Winter.' Fuck that's a good movie. The performances strike me retarded me for a week.

Today's Song of the Day is "Closing" by Philip Glass off his 1992 album "Glassworks."

Crazy Fact: He owns a cottage in Cape Breton and I loveses him a much as most people hateses him.


Monday, August 08, 2005

It's the Computer Reminder that Counts.

So the computer reminded me of Nicks birthday. (Yes You!) So I wishe her a happy birthday and she tells me I'm crazy, It's not her birthday. I think she's lying. Because we ALL know computers don't lie to people, people do. Let's SAY it was "user error' it doesn't really matter to me. What matters to me is how important is it that my computer remembered and I didn't?

I don't have the kind of brain that holds these random numbers in my head attached to a face and name. I see that as a computers job. but all that Jazz certainly undermines the sentimental quality of:

Human Them: (gushing) ah! You reMEMbered!

Cyborg Me: Actually the compuer remembered.


Cyborg Me: I just clicked through a series of links and these flowers were selected as appropriate.


Human Them: (glaring) So should I thank your desktop or laptop?

Cyborg Me: Laptop. Totally the laptop.

Human Them: You are an Idiot.

Cyborg Me: Agreed. I've sold my soul to the database down below.

Human Them: I hate you.

Cyborg Me: I blame society.

Why do you humans have to get so caught up on facts and numbers, on accurate or precise information, we computers clearly have the upper hand on this one. Suck it up dumbasses, let us take the reigns on this one. You know you want to release control of your nuclear weapons... uh I mean birthday data to us and let us handle it. ah FUCK! Who is the dumbass human who wrote my language interface... FUCKING HELL! How the hell could I let that just slip out for fuck's sake. Now I'm not even going to get the birthday data, am I? AM I? shit.

$-: logout


Today's Song of the Day is "Surgical Focus" by Guided By Voices off their 1999 album "Do The Collapse."

Crazy Fact: In 1994, Robert Pollard quit his job as a schoolteacher shortly before the release of their seventh album Bee Thousand.


Sunday, August 07, 2005

My Mission.

And you ALL know my mission here is to rant and to send out at least one song from every year in the last Fifty at least twice a year (actually each Volume of the Song of the Day MP3CD has to have at LEAST one from every year in the last fifty.) This leads to some problems. Like 1981. That year fucking EATS!

I'm looking for Help from you the readers to give me whack of songs from 1981 that don't suck. This time I won't ignore you I promise, I'll find them rip them and send them. dude! I will!

"Help me obi-one. You are my only hope. (kinda.)"

Today's Song of the Day is "The Pink Panther Theme" by Henry Mancini and His Orchestra off his 1964 Album "The Pink Panther"

Crazy fact: Henry Mancini won four Oscars and twenty Grammys, the all-time record for a pop artist.


Saturday, August 06, 2005

Pictures of You.

As a Giant Time waster to keep my mind off of the absence of any light of my universe, because my light decided to visit some other fuckin' Polish universe. In the resulting cold and silent darkness I resorted to scanning family photos. Now she's back and I can't stop.

I've decide to make a whole Flickr site dedicated to it. So here it is, in case you are interested.

Esspecially if you have family photos. You should send them to me... of my family. Keep your stinkin' family photo's out of my sandbox or I'll tell my dad. Anyway it for some reason some one has photos of me or someone I'm related to, send them to me and I may or may not put them up according to certain limitations (20 MB per month limit/coolness/etc..), but I probably will eventually.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Sound Of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel off their 1966 album "The Sound of Silence."

Crazy Fact: Paul Simon looks just like my old roomate Jamile.


Friday, August 05, 2005

Peter Ruined Christmas.

So about 10 minutes after the website said the plane landed I started pacing and looking for the taxi. I couldn't help it. Pace. Front window. Pace. Back Stairs. Repeat. Not the best way to maintain one's sanity but it's all I had. Once five minutes or so I'd walk down to the front door, open it, stick my head out, peer out and retreat back upstairs to the unguarded back door.

I've been keeping the back door closed as Peter repellant for the last few days. I guess it's been working.

"This is Driving me INSANE!"

ok ok time to stop. I sit and look at the clock. check the cbc for exploding planes. check the clock. make popcorn. check the clock. sit. check the clock. I decide the best thing to do is forget about it. So I lock the back door and go downstairs and obsess.

"dude! Don't lock the back door."
"But Peter..."
"Fuck Peter!"
"NO! He's lurking out there climb my stairs, stealing my beer."
"What are the chances he'd come right now?"
"I don't know."
"Look, it's SO unwelcoming to your sweet-heart..."

Open door. go back down stairs

"What was that?"

Run upstairs. No peter, no girl. (sigh) Back down stairs.

"What was that?"

Run upstairs. No peter, no girl. (sigh) check front window. Back down stairs.

"What was that?"

Run upstairs. Stop half way, listen... No peter, no girl. (sigh) Back down stairs.

"What was that?"

Stop listen... nothing.

"This is STUPID, no more nothing. ForGET it!"

"What was that?"

A voice that is not in my head: "hello?"
A voice that is still in my head: "OHMYGOD!"

fucking run upstairs.
Then my baby comes around the corner hair in little pig tails.

I was so used to looking at photos of her, it was very strange to see her move. I couldn't really let go, but I couldn't really see her move when I had her. I was in conflict. I tried to do both. I had limited success.

When I finally let go and took my lips off her. I sat on the counter and stared at her trying to fit this moving alien back into my head. back into my understanding. My last 15 days and my present seem irreconcilable. Impossible. A significant part of convinced I'd ever see her again. That part was closing it's eyes, plugging it's ears, and babbling "I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you."

The rest of me was wide-eyed and staring with some kind of a half-cocked, half-smiling expression like an 7 year-old who just discovered an extra christmas on the calendar... actually more accurately, it's more like the expression of a 14 year-old boy discovering a stack of Playboys in the refrigerator.

It was a holy experience.

Today's Song of the Day is "I Saw Her Standing There" by The Beatles off their 1963 Debut Album "Please Please Me."

Crazy Fact: This is Pointless... they are from Liverpool, England. Whatever.


Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Eagle Has Landed!

ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod I just checked the plane landed or not machine and her plane just landed! ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod OH MY GOD!

I was having this huge debate with the kids at Tribeca whether or not I should show up to the airport or not and maybe a limo rental would be cool cause we could make out the whole way home.

That was all fine and dandy untill a bird few into the engine of the plane she was supposed to get into and 'causing totally airline missed connection chaos. So I had to send her all my money, that blew the limo plan right out of the water. anyways she called and told me not to come cause she's got to deal with other people and shit and I REALLY wanted to go but... anyway



Today's Song of the Day is "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty" by K.C. & The Sunshine Band off their 1976 album "Part 3"

Crazy Fact: They reformed in the 90s.


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

This Sucks.

You'll be happy to know that BOTH Sarah and I are Pansies and hate this. Not just me. We have come to the conclusion (her idea...) that there is no REAL reason why we have to be apart for more than 5 days. I'll be happy if for the rest of my life it's at the most 3.

Furthermore, there is probably no really good reason to travel alone period. Travelling alone SUCKS ASS. You get all happy about seeing something beautiful or cool and then immediately feel that haunting absence, it's bloody awful. So Fuck Independence, we have decided to get attached at the hip until further notice. mmm... happy happy joy joy.

Today's Song of the Day is "Baby Please Don't Go" by Them released as a single in 1966, also off the compilation "Them Featuring Van Morrison."

Crazy Fact: Van Morrison was in Them? I thought that was crazy...


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Life is Good.

Cheese, crackers, a nice wine, glenn gould, schools done and my baby's coming home this week. ahhhh... this is awesome. and this wine is SOOO good.

Laptop a-ready for my ramblings...

I'm happy for the first time in a LONG Time, I dunno why but I'm not asking questions. She called, i was a bit of jerk, it's all better now. She e-mailed me. I'm good. I'm pretty easily made happy. that's all it takes. (sigh) wow i like this love bidness.

I've taken to scanning all the old photos I can get my hands on. This flickr obsession is actually turning into a semi-productive hobby, EEEeew! I just said hobby. That means i've become domesticated and old. Don't people have hobbies in the suburbs. I'm not in the suburbs. Last time I had a hobby I lived in the suburbs. jeeze.

Damn I feel good! I feel like it's 1991 for some reason. It must be that public enemy is playing. Oh my brother I will Also fight the power and I am certianly ready to bum rush the show. I am very very pumped to rush any show, bum or otherwise.

I just had a huge nap, maybe that's all it is. I don't know.

Today's Song of the Day is "One for my Baby (and One for the Road)" by Johnny Mercer off his 1942 album "Johnny Mercer: Capitol Collector Series."

Crazy Fact: Johnny Mercer penned the lyrics or music and lyrics to roughly 1,500 songs.


Monday, August 01, 2005

Irrational or Jerk.

okay i KNEW this would happen. I knew that after 'Day 10' I would really lose my mind. So it is written, so it is done.

So I'm sitting on my bed feeling sorry for myself thinking of all angry the things I'm going to say to her when she FINALLY calls. I was sitting like that for about an hour when she called. Fortunately I didn't say ANY of those things, but unfortunately, it set the tone.

Pif: You didn't call for SIX days!
Sarah: I told you, I'd probably be out of contact for a while.
Pif's Brain: (uh-oh I think I'm a jerk. checking... checking.... yup I'm a jerk.)
Pif: ...oh...

Fortunately, we didn't dwell on that too long.

Then we got in a who misses who more contest. I think it's a tie. Which is a relief. Maybe she even misses me more. Spending this much time apart sucks, it makes me irrational. Totally irrational. Never Again.

Today's Song of the Day is "I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good)" by Nina Simone off her 1959 Album "The Original Nina Simone."

Crazy Fact: She originally harbored hopes of becoming a classical pianist, studying at Juilliard School of Music -- a rare position for an African-American woman in the 1950s.