Monday, December 22, 2008

Villian thy name is Meatloaf.

When I was a kid my cousin Chris had Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell". I looked at the cover and was sure it was the sounds of hell itself. I was sure I could never withstand whatever this diabolical "Meatloaf" clearly the spawn of hell, hath wraught upon the world. As sure as Saturday morning cartoons there would be no way my innocent ears to bear hearing these sounds of ruination, this music of the damned, it would change me for the worse, fovever. One look at that cover was all the proof I needed.

I was so right and so wrong.

Many many years later I heard those horrible, curséd sounds, I was shocked. That COVER! THAT cover... is for THAT music.... no... it can't be. IT CAN'T BE!

I was right it was the worst music I'd ever heard, and I was right it was ruination, it was the ruination of the human race. I expected Cannibal Corpse and got the Four Seasons. It was impossible. I was scared of the g.d four fucking seasons, my whole life. but "bitch tits" had "Two outta three ain't bad" and "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" on here... not "Creeping Death"... not "Leper Messaih"... not even "Crazy Train"... but some of the worst music ever EVER written:

"The horror... The horror." It's fucking fucking fucking horrible. That fact that people listen to this at all breaks my heart. It causes my natural respect for the human race to dip below a requiste level to believe we are worth saving at all. Bath us in flame oh antichrist, start again, do over. So I was right it is from hell, I was right to be afraid of it. I betcha the devil is utterly un-cool. That's his last laugh. He is a whiney powerless fucking geek.

The fact that what I believed to be the "hardest" rock album cover of all time was really just two pieces of whitest crustless whitebread, the bookends of utter spiritual and emotional poverty, the empty, tastelessness husks, the outward component of an aesthetic equivalent of a ketchup sandwich. I  haven't judged a book by it's cover since. Oh 'tis a lesson I will neary forget. T'was the bitterest of teachers.

Turn, Hellhound, Turn, BACK to the fires which spawn'd thee!

Today's Song of the Day is "Down To The River To Pray" performed by Alison Krauss from the soundtrack from 2000 film "O Brother, Where Art Thou?"

Crazy Fact: In 1983, when she was 12 years old, she won the Illinois State Fiddle Championship and the Society for the Preservation of Bluegrass in America named her the Most Promising Fiddler in the Midwest.


Sunday, December 21, 2008

Diamonds in the Rough

I'm not a huge fan of Kevin Smith films but he has some Gems in those films to be sure.

I just saw
Clerks II which was not 'super-haha' for me but 'ok funny' but the funniest moments were very funny. They all surrounded the young innocent Elias and his interactions with snarky dirty-minded 30 something Randall. The best of the best, was when Elias admits to Randall that he hasn't had sex with his girl-friend because of the "Pussy Troll" her Christian parents put in her "pooter" to ensure her chastity, I laughed my hole off. When he said "Pillowpants" would bite his weiner off if he did, I nearly peed myself. PILLOWPANTS! Brilliant. No french-kissing either or "Listerfiend" will bite off his tongue. Awesome. I think there was a butt troll too, I forget it's name.

The acting between the two main guys was just so flat it was hard to watch at times but there are certainly moments of brilliance.

Like in Mallrats, I found
main guy's ranting irritatingly (who am I to talk) posed, emotionally monotoned and dated. But the 'Stink-palm' still makes me hold back laughs. The "Stink-palm" is when you put the palm of your hand right on your asshole and rub it around for a while just before you give a big hand shake to someone you don't like.

Fucking funny.

Today's Song of the Day is "Jambalaya (On The Bayou)" by Hank Williams off his 1952 compilations "40 Greatest Hits".

Crazy Fact:
Hank was buried in Montgomery, AL, three days later. His funeral drew a record crowd, larger than any crowd since Jefferson Davis was inaugurated as the President of the Confederacy in 1861.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Sir Salieri

What a turd. 

Sir Paul McBloodyCartney gets worse with every passing year. With every passing year he sees what a useless tit he is. His long life is his curse. It is a Joy to see him see how he will be remembered, watching him of him scratch at meaningfulness, clawing desperately to be seen as something more than a dipshit with a mostly useless talent for writing those oh so pretty love songs. 

He is a modern day Salieri, his better days, his BEST days, his only days worth a damn, were in collaberation. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying John is Mozart, he wrote plenty of solo crapola, but clearly the he is more meaningful figure of the two, representing something a little more than vapid pop sentimentality.

You can argue that John doesn't deserve it or whatever but of the two John deserves it more than Knight of the douchenozzles, sir Paul, revisionist turd bucket.

He fucking drives me nuts. All his vegan street cred he got from Linda, and promptly lost when he married that one-legged blondey before Linda's corpse was even cold.

BTW I'm ranting about Sir Splogeater's claims that "I politicised the Beatles." Read this shitfeast:

"For instance, Vietnam. Just when we were getting to be well known, someone said to me: 'Bertrand Russell is living not far from here in Chelsea, why don't you go and see him?' and so I just took a taxi down there and knocked on the door."

He added: "He was fabulous. He told me about the Vietnam war – most of us didn't know about it, it wasn't yet in the papers – and also that it was a very bad war.

"He was fabulous"?!!? "A very bad war"?!?! oh yes very very naughty war, we shouldn't be having those should we, sir Paul. Fortunately there are all these FABULOUS people, a taxi ride away, just sitting about, waiting to tell people to tell you about it. 

What a STEAMING pile of shit.

Today's Song of the Day is "Piss Up A Rope" by Ween off their 1996 album "12 Golden Country Greats".

Crazy Fact: For the tour supporting this album their backing unit was dubbed the Shit Creek Boys(which included steel guitarist Stuart Basore, guitarist Danny Parks, fiddler Hank Singer, and bassist Matt Kohut)


Monday, December 15, 2008

Car Crash

A few new facts. According to the NY Times, the amount of overall traffic in New York City has decreased even though the total population has increased. Hmmm... what does that tell you? People are making due without the almighty automobile. It seems. Which brings me to a rare, logical conclusion... People are Awesome! I never get to think that, let alone say it. wow.

In case you had any lingering doubts, the crime rate in the Big Apple has also dropped during this same time period and people, now feeling safe, are out and about in larger numbers than in previous years. SOoo if you were thinking people were just staying home and therefore there was less traffic as a result. Sorry dude. Again, I must conclude a most unlikeme thing... People are Awesome!

They are taking the bus, taking the subway, walking, biking, running carpooling to an energy efficient foot stompin' greeny green tune. Screw you manufacturer!

It seems another suspicion I've had for many a year has been verified, validated and vindicated. Drivers are criminals. All of them. see SEE! I told you.

Taking the bus makes you smart (see Repoman). Walking makes you feel kindness and generous toward your fellow earthlings (try it, you'll see). Driving leads to ROAD RAGE!!! (read previous phrase with monster truck tone of voice). Running leads to serenity and the occasional embarrassment. Did you know that 100% of ALL white collar criminals own/owned a drivers license? Did YOU? All of them. see SEE!

Every single crime either you or I can think of, needs a car to commit: the 'high-speed' chase. the 'Hit-and-Run'. the 'carjack'. the 'drunken driving'. the 'auto-theft'. the 'drive-by shooting'. the 'poppa wheelie'. the 'doing doughnuts' (which is also fattening). do I REAALLY need to go on? All of them. see SEE!

They simply *must* be stopped. (exit nutso Victorian school marm)

All for your reading pleasure my peeps. hmm... I think I'll drag on Zombie Week for a few more days, I keep forgetting to talk about them.

Today's Song of the Day is "Haitian Fight Song" by Charles Mingus off his 1957 album "The Clown".

Crazy Fact: This song rocks. At one of his concerts in Philadelphia -- and a memorial to a dead colleague at that -- he broke up the show by slamming the piano lid down, nearly smashing his pianist's hands, and then punched trombonist Jimmy Knepper in the mouth. 


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Free market my hole.

Now the Canadian Government wants to give 2-3 BILLION dollars to GM to stay in Canada.


For every GM or Ford plant that closes a Honda or Toyota plant opens... so why are we doing this? They are not Canadian companies - they don't get my money - and these companies build a product people don't want - the don't get my money. Stick with the winning team, the winning teams are not from the U.S. 

And they may not survive EVEN IF they get our money! Huh?

They say even IF they get our money they will still have to close their North American plants for "a while" and they MAY go under anyway. no No NO! No money for you douchebags!

The market has spoken. You suck. Go away and let a company with vision and profits take your place. I hate this crap. It just shows you how deeply our economic system is soaked in Bullshit! The "Free market economy" story they tell us is crap. It's convenient story they tell every time the want to screw over the little guy or turn a blind-eye to the arts, and one they forget to tell every time they bailout some enormous earth-eating corporation or hand-out some government contract to their pals. 

P.S. I like zombies.

Today's Song of the Day "Surprise! You're Dead!" by Faith No More off their 1989 album "The Real Thing".

Crazy Fact: Courtney Love was at one time the lead vocalist for Faith No More. No lie, in the early years, pre-1985.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Sinking in the USA

It was communism or economic doom and the U.S. Senate chose doom. Either they had to buy-in and control the American auto industry or let it sink. 


Now the questions is Which one will sink first? I'm hoping GM. Ford says they are "ok for now" and Chyrsler is owned by the very rich uber-secretive privately owned Cerebus corporation. I would love to see GM sink electric car killing mutherfuckers.

American cars a a perfect representation of what is destroying the planet. Shit has got to change and jobs in shitty industries have to go. It's great news. That being said should one of these planet destroying monsters go under, an estimated 3 million jobs will be lost. HOLY shit that's a lot of jobless.

Maybe communism is coming to the USA either road they take. If they can't take the business end of the competitive free economy the aspouse so patriotically, maybe they should change there tune. That fact is the there cars suck ass and they should sink. Many of those jobs will simply move to Toyota and Honda as they fill the void with there better product.

In other Zombie-related news, Zombies eat brains so the can be happy dead, we eat bacon so we can die happy.

Today's Song of the Day is "Evil Ways" by Carlos Santana of his 1968 debut album "Santana". 

Crazy Fact: Carlos Santana was originally in his own wing of the Latin Rock Hall of Fame. (BTW the link under the title is semi-NSFW (sound only) in case you'd get fired for the words "Jizz in my pants" being repeated over and over and over.)


Tuesday, December 02, 2008

A little Zombie History.

Ah the Wikipedia:
"According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the etymology is from the Louisiana Creole or Haitian Creole zonbi, of Bantu origin. A zonbi is a person who is believed to have died and been brought back to life without speech or free will. It is akin to the Kimbundu nzúmbe ghost. These words are approximately from 1871."
Why do people still give the wikipedia so much grief? We all use it. Those who are well situated in positions of authority are clearly threatened by the idea of relinquishing control of the definition of fact, and will do anything in their power to discredit it. Don't let them y'all. Their powers begin to fade, we can all see it. The threat is real and envitable. A real democracy is coming, you're watching it rise.

Today's Song of the Day is "Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya Ya" by Dr. John Creaux (the Night Tripper) off his 1968 album "Gris-Gris".

Crazy Fact: According to legend, this was hurriedly cut with leftover studio time from a Sonny & Cher session.


Monday, December 01, 2008

Faster Zombiecat Kill Kill!

Zombies are best.

The slow shambling death which catches you if your unaware. which mauls you if you try going out on a limb to help others; which leaves you all alone -- surrounded by impending death pounding on the door, moaning through the walls -- if you don't. It can smell you, it wants you, to eat your life and turn you into it's agent. You can hide for a while, but by human nature, inevitably, someone makes a mistake, some careless act.. lets... Them... IN! AAAAAAA! FOOLS!

It finds us all. 

It will find you. 

You can run and it will slowly chase you. You can hear the undead groan as the mob gets closer. The mob come for us all and eventually we succumb. Unless we, by our own hand, do ourselves in. To prevent the horror of the afterlife, we must embrace it, cease to fear the end and take our life into our own hands... or get on a helicopter and escape to a desert island where there are no dead people. Which is a lame Hollywood ending and a much more marketable conclusion. I guess Sartre was right, Hell IS other people.

This is one of the reasons why I hate "fast zombies", they totally miss the point. 

I guess now in the information age everything is *soooo* fast we have to speed up the zombies or we get bored. Or maybe we believe we are *soooo* advanced that those "lame 60s slow zombies" are no real threat. 

Hubris! Hubris I tell you. It is that very hubris that causes our demise. The fear of death leads to madness and to screaming irrationality. Give those irrational ones a chance, a little piece of power, and they'll ruin it for everyone. They pound on the door of us all, but only the careless let them in. It's creeping slowness makes us believe we can handle it, that we've got it under control. And when we get comfortable, when we feel safe, then are we our most vulnerable, most at risk. For it's window of opportunity is opened by inattention, carelessness and comfort. It is then, quiet slow breathless cold death comes from the shadows and... BWHAHAHAHAHAAA! DOOOM!

When we fear them too much we act irrationally, When we fear them too little we become careless. It's a sticky situation to avoid the zombie, let me tell you, I've given it plenty of thought.

Slow is awesome. That's the way it should be. So mote it be.

Like zombie bite. A bite full of the disease of death. Which slowly takes you and turns you into one of them, not a fast crazy disease that takes you in a second, death is a much classier a unstoppable truth than that.

Today's Song of the Day is "Aese's Death" by Edvard Grieg from his 1888 Peer Gynt Suite for Orchestra No.1 Opus 46. Though originally composed in 1867 as incidental music for the Ibsen play of the same name.

Crazy Fact: Edvard Grieg and Henrik Ibsen were friends and creative partners. This Orchestral Suite is extracted from the incidental music to Ibsen's play, Peer Gynt. Of the four pieces this is the 3rd least famous. "Morning Mood" and "In the Hall of the Mountain King" are recognizable immediately to most modern listeners. What is crazy is I never made the connection. I never realized these pieces were written to be performed together. Theatre degree don't fail me now! *sputter* *sputter* *pop* *fizzle*


Sunday, November 30, 2008


(That picture from the previous post -- is awesome -- and seems so completely without possible explanation and at the same time utterly perfect. Man doesn't have head. Man wants head. Man cuts off a head. Here is a man who knows what he wants ans knows how to get it. Head & Halberd will travel. Pretty simple. It's from the infamous 60s-70s B&W Warren publication "CREEPY". Anyway...)


We have to thank Return of the Living Dead for that one. Fucking brilliant. Little do you all know that this 1985 horror-comedy masterpiece was written by the best friend of John Carpenter and writer of sci-fi masterpiece Alien, Dan O'Bannon.

"tina... teeeeeena... I can smell your brains..."

So good. It's got punks and zombie-punk strip teases, people slowly turning to zombies, zombies trying to eat their girlfriends... ah un-death does complicate love, but what doesn't.

"Send... more... paramedics."

Like every good movie from the 80s it's got nuclear holocaust. It's got the split dog. It's got Burt, Frank and Freddy:

Burt: I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it'd die?
Frank: It worked in the movie!
Burt: Well, it ain't workin' now, Frank!
Freddy: You mean the movie lied?

Lotsa gore. Mobs of undead brain eaters. I had the Glow-in-the-Dark poster of it on my wall back in the Dartmouth days. My DVD case of it Glows-In-The-Dark still. So 80s. So awesome. And it's got the wicked evil explanations of zombie quality of (un)life:

Ernie: Why do you eat people?
Corpse: Not people. Brains.
Ernier: Brains only?
Corpse: Yes.
Ernie: Why?
Corpse: The PAIN!
Ernie: What about the pain?
Corpse: The pain of being DEAD!
Ernie: [laughing in surprise to his friends] It hurts... to be dead.
Corpse: I can feel myself rotting.
Ernie: Eating brains... How does that make you feel?
Corpse: It makes the pain go away!

SHIT DAMN! I need to watch it tonight.

Today's Song of the Day is "Broken Face" by the Pixies of their 1997 Live album "Death to the Pixies."

Crazy Fact: I've sent so many damn pixies songs I'm all out... Except they had a reunion tour in 2004 and I have yet to hear the album. I'm scared.


Saturday, November 29, 2008


I love Zombies the most of all the scary-ones.

So begins Zombie week.

Night of the Living Dead is just awesome. Every Halloween I used to dress as a zombie, (except the time I dressed as a chick... what a mistake. or when I dyed my hair black and dressed as the devil... what a mistake. That SHIT does NOT wash out of your hair after 4 washings. BULLSHIT. It took MONTHS! Never trust those packaging bastards. It made my skin look awful, as it slowly faded from black to brown to grey brown to lighter grey brown.. man!

Anyway, I used to watch Night of the Living Dead every Halloween, to help me get into character and because it was sooo awesome. I fell out of the habit, dunno why. I guess it had something to do with the Return of the Living like-a-student. So the Night(s) of the Living like-a-student were way less fun this time around. This time I was focused on my brains and less nightly shambling around looking for trouble.

Today's Song of the Day is "Surfin' Dead" by the Cramps of their 1983 album "Smell of Female".

Crazy Fact: The Cramps appeared on Beverly Hills 90210 in 1995. No Lie.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

Salutations Earthlings

I just read this article. So aliens are real and governments knew and kept it from us "for our own safety" just like the crazyies have been saying forever. Well the official stories are starting to flow. Keep an eye out for these goodies, there'll be all kinds flowing down the pipe now that they've started.

Of course the earthing response is to try to blow it out of the sky. Nice friendly earthlings. What a bunch of dicks. Airplanes aren't good at making friends, especially military ones. Stupid military. Unlike the military, people on earth would like to meet these aliens and have a chat, come over for a beer and shoot the breeze. People like making friends, now - it seems - even more than they like watching people having sex

So if you meet an alien be nice, get there email and be their friend on facebook. THEN you can watch them have sex. It's the new order.

Today's Song of the Day is "Spacelab" by Kraftwerk of their 1978 album "The Man Machine"

Crazy Fact: They are still together and making music, that is crazy. Their most recent album is called minimum/maximum and was released in 2005. Nutso.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Don't forget to Vote!

Unless your going to vote for Stephen Harper.

Not like we have much choice. I don't really like any of them. I wish I could opt for "None of the Above", like from "Brewster's Millions" which would make them pick all new candidates. A kind of result button.

Or an "Anybody but... FILL IN THE BLANK." This is all the say I get in this whole "Democracy" we have, which blows, and at least they could give me a 'comment' line. 

Today's Song of the Day is "The Sundown" by Ennio Morricone from his 1966 soundtrack "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly"

Crazy Fact: The theme to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, made number two in the U.S. when it was covered by Hugo Montenegro.


Friday, October 10, 2008

Bottom of the Barrel

It's actually a little bit like a nightmare.

This is a very ugly video. It simply shows the worst in people. If it was just one dumb guy or idiot woman or a few but there is a line of them taking turns yelling "commie faggot go back to Russia!" and "Obama is a terrorist!" I can't believe it.

Why do people need their hate? Why do they cling to it. This kind of ignorance is responsible for so much harm in this world. It turns my stomach.

Today's Song of the Day "Blitzkrieg Bop" by the Ramones off their very first single from 1976. 
Crazy Fact: Joey Ramone had OCD.


Monday, October 06, 2008

Queen Dork

Dude. Sarah Palin is the most fun I've seen in a long time. I'm greedy for video clips of her meaningless gibberish, her playing the squarest, whitest song ever written on the flute, in her bathing suit, on her view of russia, her reading habits, and CNN making fun of Sarah Palin vs Tina Fey.

I think I laugh out of fear.

I possibility that this is a potential world leader is beyond words. While don't we just let a Dalmation run the country? What difference would it make?

Most shocking to me is she has changed my mind on Bush. Sarah Palin has made Bush look good by comparison. Honest to god if it was a choice between the two of them I would choose Bush. She has done truly done the impossible.

Today's Song of the Day "Amazing Grace/America The Beautiful" performed by Anthony Molinaro And Howard Levy off their 2003 album "Live".

Crazy Fact: George Carlin performed a satirical version on his 1972 album Class Clown, when environmental issues were becoming a hot political topic: "Oh beautiful, for smoggy skies, insecticided grain/ For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain./ America, America, man sheds his waste on thee/ And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea!


Tuesday, September 30, 2008


What G.D. Century is it? There are Honest to Jesus Pirates sailing the seas off Somalia. If that isn't absurd enough they captured a shipment of 33 Russian T-72 tanks. But just to prove that this is "just not happening" I read this quote:

Since when do PIRATES (think "ARRRG! me Maties!" with me for a moment) have a spokesperson. Do they have a Lawyer on retainer too?

Ok its the 21rst Century and we have Pirates.

nope. doesn't fit. I'm picturing aliens and moonbases and rocket cars and I'm getting Pirates with Spokepeople saying non-pirate things like "no one was hurt" and "We were celebrating Eid"  (If you don't know what Eid is just think Muslim Christmas...)

What the HELL! These guys are not living up to my Scourge of the Sea ideal one bit.

They are breaking my little pirate heart.

Today's Song of the Day is "A Criminal Mind" by Gowan off his 1985 self-title debut album "Strange Animal".

Crazy Fact: Lawrence Gowan is presently the Lead Singer of Styx. And yes, Styx plays "A Criminal Mind" in concert now. No Freakin' Lie.


Monday, September 29, 2008

The U.S.S.A... almost.

The US is going commie! The governments buying the banks! Oh wait no there just giving them money 700 billion at a time. And getting nothing but bad debt in return. It's the smart move. Riiiight...

That's what I was gonna write... but the bill got defeated again today.

Supposedly we are all supposed to panic and scream the sky is falling. I can't help but rejoice, it's in me and it just has to come out. YAAAAAY! No tax payer likes this idea one fucking bit. I'm not even an American and the idea makes me ill. On a gut level this shit is wrong. I say screw 'em!

I've read 2 awesome things as a result of this 'crisis'. First of all republican are voting it down because "it's an election year and I don't want to lose my job." FUCK! It should be an election year every year and we would ACTUALLY live in a democracy. I forget the other.

Remember these rich bastards are screwing themselves. The stock market is dropping because people are selling.

Am I selling? No.

Are you selling? No.

Why? Cause we have no fucking STOCK! All those greedy rich bastards are selling each others shit like it's on 8 track tape, pulling each other into the toilet (where the rest of us live) and I'm supposed to cry about it. Hey collectively crying Rich guy STOP SELLING! Oh wait your all selfish rich bastards who only look out for only yourself, right right. That's how you got so damn rich in the first place, right right. You'll drive that profit motive mobile right into the fucking sewer.

Why not take the 700 Billion dollars and buy some houses, then people don't default and banks get flush with cash. Seriously, at 200,000 per house that's 3 MILLION 5 HUNDRED THOUSAND HOUSES. FUCK!

We the people, play the lottery. We the people, would fucking LOVE that kinda bill. Make a list of every morgage that has 200,000 or less left on it. Pick out 3.5 million of them and pay them off. BOOM! Done. If there is on average 4 people living in each house thats at least 14 million very happy Americans. Banks have money to lend, People have money freed up to spend. HORAAAY! Happy economy. Call it the 'trickle up effect.'

I guess the US "We the People" Government doesn't see it "line up with their interests". No surprise.

Today's Song of the Day is "This Land is Your Land" by Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings off their 2005 Album "Naturally."

Crazy Fact: Sharon Jones worked as a corrections officer at New York's Rykers Island.


Saturday, September 27, 2008

Fast and Cool Hands

Paul Newman died of lung cancer today at 83.

You don't have to be gay to see that Paul Newman was one hell of a handsome man. Even when he got old he was still a looker. How awesome can a guy be? Hated Hollywood bullshit, never cheated (once said "Why go out for a hamburger when you can stay home and have steak"). Stood up for his beliefs against the Veitnam war. Created multi-million dollar charities. Why can't there be a few more of these guys sprinkled around?

Well Fast Eddie, we are glad you stopped by. You were one of the good one for sure. If you're looking for a movie tonight try out one of these three (I'll pick only three):

"The Verdict" (1982)
Number two courtroom drama of all time to be sure. A broken failure clings to his last chance at redemption through a storm of alcohol and loathing. Slowly paced, understated and solid. Sidney Lumet directs. James Mason is perfect.

"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" (1958)
Script by Tennesse Williams. Elizabeth taylor is SMOKING HOT is an understatement. Either one of those reasons should be enough.

"Cool Hand Luke." (1967)
Prison film. Probably the best of all his films. Famous quote from this movie: "What we have here is a failure to communicate." If you haven't seen this see it... will not disappoint.

Today's Song of the Day is "Moving Pictures Silent Films" by the Great Lake Swimmers off their 2003 album "Great Lake Swimmers."

Crazy Fact: Regarding his spot on Richard Nixon's enemies list, Paul Newman said it is "the highest single honor I've ever received." Awesome.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

When old sucks

I bought Weird Science. I'm scared to watch it. My brother and I *loved* it when we were barely teenagers. But so many question now that I'm old and it's old. Is Kelly Lebrock still hot? probably. Is she a good actor? doubtful. Does the script eat ass? That is SOOoo likely I think I'm scared to watch it.

I put on the credits and turned it off. It is -- So -- Very -- 80s. I remember being a kid, looking at the seventies, thinking that it was absolutely redickyoulass that people in the seventies didn't know there clothes were horrible looking, then realizing that someday mine would look just as stupid. I remember trying to zone in on that which would be dated and having no clue... just no clue what was going to look "so 80s".

Well no that it's a million years later I figured it out. It's everything. HOLY SHIT the HAIR! I've never seen hair so big... that is so not true I've seen the movie dozens of times.

I thought it was SOOO funny when the 80s was now and I was a virgin. man. that was a long long time ago.

Oddly when I listen to music from 1985 it makes this move much more bearable. ...Jesus I'm fucking Big Chill aged. How Horrible.

Today's Song of the Day is "Life in a Northern Town" by The Dream Academy off their 1985 debut album "The Dream Academy."

Crazy Fact: This album was produced by David Gilmore (of Pink Floyd) and is in fact a elegy for Nick Drake. (Most importantly this song came out the same year as Weird Science.)


Saturday, September 20, 2008

Falling Down Funny

The funniest thing off all funny things is people falling down. Don't think so watch this and this. I'm not sure why. I think it's because it's so unexpected. You can't see it coming. They didn't even see it coming. I think many tight-assed people mistake laughing at something for agreement. I think laughing has got a couple of different sources. 

There is definitely the laughing at/ humiliation to maintain pecking order kind. I think shock gets a lot of laughs. I've also laughed in a giggling sort of way when I'm learning something really fucking cool. Then there is the "That would be so embarrassing, if that were me I might just die" Office humour. And of course the highest form of humour all things Poo. I know Henri Bergson has a theory as does Freud, but lets face it they are both old dead douchebags and about as funny.

But, the fact that a close second to humans falling down is cats falling down, blows most of my theorizing out of the water. I think the reigning champ of funny has got to be Shock. But Actually cats doing all kind of stupid shit is kind of uber-funny. These almost make we want a cat again.

Today's Song of the Day is "Ev'rybody Want To Be A Cat" by Phil Harris & Scatman Crothers" off the 1970 soundtrack "The Aristocats"

Crazy Fact: Scatman Crothers was good friends with Jack Nicholson appearing in four movies together including his personal favourite "The Shining" as Dick Hallorann.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Comic Book Pirates

I'm all kinds of geek and I don't mean the post 'geek chic' new geek categories like 'sports geek', that's bullshit. Sports geeks were called jocks and they both beat me up and got girl friends. no. not them. I'm the computer club, chess club, stamp collection, D&D and comic books sorta individual. Yes, I had and still have a stamp collection.

But sadly my comic book skillz have been in sharp decline over the years. Until one day about two weeks ago I was possessed with the idea of reading my old Sgt. Rock comics which are lost in my family somewhere. I turned to the internet. 

Hello bit-torrent. 

I've never really been a huge user... that... has... changed. I am digitally rebuilding my entire 70s-80s comic collection like a man possessed, Ghost Rider, Sgt. Rock, Weird War, ROM, Groo, Micronaughts... It's awesome. Try it!

Along the way I've discovered a few things about myself. First of all, that little girl-friendless pif geek had some pretty good taste in comics. Second, I'm not a fan of Superhero comics. I always thought I was, but nope I love horror comics. Little Creepy stories. Like the Teddy Bear Killer above. Third, I love the Philippino artists style, specifically Nestor Redondo  Weird. Fourth, totally prefer Black & White. I think colour, for the most part, takes more away then it adds. 

I don't feel bad stealing them cuz they're all out of print. But on the whole I have very little guilt when it comes to piracy, like all good people of this earth.

Today's Song of the Day is "Shoplifters Of The World Unite" by The Smiths off their 1987 compilation "Louder than Bombs."

Crazy Fact: Drummer Mike Joyce and bassist Andy Rourke sued Morrissey and Johnny Marr in 1991, claiming they received only ten percent of the group's earnings while the songwriters received 40 percent. Rourke eventually settled out of court, but Joyce won his case in late 1996.


Wednesday, September 17, 2008


My Top 5 Names for Taking a Dump:

5. Bowel Movement ---tied with--- Defecate. 

There both just so clinical, it cracks me up.

4. Drop the Kids off at the Pool. 

It's old but it still gets me. It's starts with 'Drop' which resonates with me cuz of the fear of uriney back splash (gross) AND the old public toilet noise PLOP! Which so shockingly breaks the silence in those echo chambers of embarrassment. The kids metaphor is great, my little creations (the little smelly monsters that they are). And finally the fact that it's something I gotta worry about before I do and then not worry about after it's done (cuz there in gods hands now) is awesome.

3. Pinch off a Loaf

My old favourite. You got that steamy hot loaf of freshly cooked bread feel to it which rocks and the messy unsatisfying pinch thing - HAHAHA - It still makes me laugh! (sigh)

2. Move Brown

It's just so gross and awesome. You got reference to the terrible 'shit brown' colour which is unique among these five. the Move goes back to bowel movement which gives me twice the impact. And it's new. horray!

1. Make a Splash

The number one spot goes to this beauty cuz it makes you feel like it's something you should announce to the world. An accomplishment. Something to be proud of which is in stark defiance of the age-old social rules of shitting.

Today's Song of the Day is "I Shall Be Released" by Bob Dylan originally from the 1967 bootleg recordings known as "The Basement Tapes" but later released in 1971 on Bob Dylan Greatest Hits, Vol. 2.

Crazy Fact: Dylan spent the summer of 1960 in Denver, where he met bluesman the inspiration behind his signature harmonica rack and guitar.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Oh child of the 70s you were a lucky brat...

When I think back fondly back to Seaseme Street I remember Pointer Sisters & Herbie Hancock and a loaf a of bread or and the ladybug's picnic and I think shit, I was a lucky seventies kid. Now I haven't watched SS in like 25 years, but I've heard sad stories about that happy little.

They killed off the cookie monster. 

No lie. ok kind of lie.

The cookie monster doesn't eat cookies anymore cuz they don't want to make kids fat.

Kids have liked cookies for as long as there have been cookies. It's not the fucking puppets fault. They made him that way. Give the poor bastard back his cookies, if not for his sake then for the sake of my childhood, you fuckers!

I DONT EVEN WANT TO KNOW what they've done to Oscar the Grouch, if he doesn't live in a garbage can anymore... I'll... fucking LOSE it.

This bites.

Today's Song of the Day is "Sweet Home Chicago" by Taj Mahal & the Pointer Sisters off the 1972 Album Recycling the Blues & Other Related Stuff.

Crazy Fact: In 2005, "Pinball Number Count" was re-edited for Coldcut's Ninja Tune label and remixed by Venetian Snares of the Planet Mu record label.


Monday, September 15, 2008

It's been a long time.

I'm going to pretend like I never stopped if that ok with y'all.

The scariest thing I've come across for a long time on the internet is this. Did you follow the link? Do it. Confused? If you zoomed out you might notice that a lot of information about Georgia, the country, is missing. Two weeks ago it was totally blank. I assume the some government body requests to be removed and that is that.

Why scary? Well, Google *is* the internet. If you can't Google it, you can't find it. So does it exist? What else is Google leaving blank. What kind of censorship is that? I'm not sure it has a name. 'Lost in Cyberspace' is what my dated Information Retrieval textbook calls it. Which is a special brand of 1999 kind of fucking lame.

I just stare at the blank empty Georgia with roads going into it's borders from all sides just disappearing. Poof! It makes my heart sink. How crazy would you feel if you went to the library and every atlas had blanked out Georgia, Iraq, Jordan... just like that. I would feel like I was in a "paranoid future b-movie".

Like Logan's Run, minus the sweet seventies garb, I can just see myself sweaty, shifty-eyed, from library to library, looking for an end to the madness. Then barely clutching on to a weakening sanity, I break and scream "Don't you SEE!" "CAN'T you SEE!"

I just wanted to know where South freakin' Ossetia was and now, instead, thanks to Google I've been driven mad. Thanks Google. Jerk.

Today's Song of the Day is "Great Gig in the Sky" by Pink Floyd off their 1972 album Dark Side of the Moon.

Crazy Fact: Richard Wright of Pink Floyd died from cancer today at the age of 65. He wrote this song.