Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I just saw Clerks II which was not 'super-haha' for me but 'ok funny' but the funniest moments were very funny. They all surrounded the young innocent Elias and his interactions with snarky dirty-minded 30 something Randall. The best of the best, was when Elias admits to Randall that he hasn't had sex with his girl-friend because of the "Pussy Troll" her Christian parents put in her "pooter" to ensure her chastity, I laughed my hole off. When he said "Pillowpants" would bite his weiner off if he did, I nearly peed myself. PILLOWPANTS! Brilliant. No french-kissing either or "Listerfiend" will bite off his tongue. Awesome. I think there was a butt troll too, I forget it's name.
The acting between the two main guys was just so flat it was hard to watch at times but there are certainly moments of brilliance.
Like in Mallrats, I found main guy's ranting irritatingly (who am I to talk) posed, emotionally monotoned and dated. But the 'Stink-palm' still makes me hold back laughs. The "Stink-palm" is when you put the palm of your hand right on your asshole and rub it around for a while just before you give a big hand shake to someone you don't like.
Today's Song of the Day is "Jambalaya (On The Bayou)" by Hank Williams off his 1952 compilations "40 Greatest Hits".
Crazy Fact: Hank was buried in Montgomery, AL, three days later. His funeral drew a record crowd, larger than any crowd since Jefferson Davis was inaugurated as the President of the Confederacy in 1861.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"For instance, Vietnam. Just when we were getting to be well known, someone said to me: 'Bertrand Russell is living not far from here in Chelsea, why don't you go and see him?' and so I just took a taxi down there and knocked on the door."He added: "He was fabulous. He told me about the Vietnam war – most of us didn't know about it, it wasn't yet in the papers – and also that it was a very bad war.
Monday, December 15, 2008
In case you had any lingering doubts, the crime rate in the Big Apple has also dropped during this same time period and people, now feeling safe, are out and about in larger numbers than in previous years. SOoo if you were thinking people were just staying home and therefore there was less traffic as a result. Sorry dude. Again, I must conclude a most unlikeme thing... People are Awesome!
They are taking the bus, taking the subway, walking, biking, running carpooling to an energy efficient foot stompin' greeny green tune. Screw you manufacturer!
It seems another suspicion I've had for many a year has been verified, validated and vindicated. Drivers are criminals. All of them. see SEE! I told you.
Taking the bus makes you smart (see Repoman). Walking makes you feel kindness and generous toward your fellow earthlings (try it, you'll see). Driving leads to ROAD RAGE!!! (read previous phrase with monster truck tone of voice). Running leads to serenity and the occasional embarrassment. Did you know that 100% of ALL white collar criminals own/owned a drivers license? Did YOU? All of them. see SEE!
Every single crime either you or I can think of, needs a car to commit: the 'high-speed' chase. the 'Hit-and-Run'. the 'carjack'. the 'drunken driving'. the 'auto-theft'. the 'drive-by shooting'. the 'poppa wheelie'. the 'doing doughnuts' (which is also fattening). do I REAALLY need to go on? All of them. see SEE!
They simply *must* be stopped. (exit nutso Victorian school marm)
All for your reading pleasure my peeps. hmm... I think I'll drag on Zombie Week for a few more days, I keep forgetting to talk about them.
Today's Song of the Day is "Haitian Fight Song" by Charles Mingus off his 1957 album "The Clown".
Crazy Fact: This song rocks. At one of his concerts in Philadelphia -- and a memorial to a dead colleague at that -- he broke up the show by slamming the piano lid down, nearly smashing his pianist's hands, and then punched trombonist Jimmy Knepper in the mouth.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
"According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the etymology is from the Louisiana Creole or Haitian Creole zonbi, of Bantu origin. A zonbi is a person who is believed to have died and been brought back to life without speech or free will. It is akin to the Kimbundu nzúmbe ghost. These words are approximately from 1871."Why do people still give the wikipedia so much grief? We all use it. Those who are well situated in positions of authority are clearly threatened by the idea of relinquishing control of the definition of fact, and will do anything in their power to discredit it. Don't let them y'all. Their powers begin to fade, we can all see it. The threat is real and envitable. A real democracy is coming, you're watching it rise.
Monday, December 01, 2008
The slow shambling death which catches you if your unaware. which mauls you if you try going out on a limb to help others; which leaves you all alone -- surrounded by impending death pounding on the door, moaning through the walls -- if you don't. It can smell you, it wants you, to eat your life and turn you into it's agent. You can hide for a while, but by human nature, inevitably, someone makes a mistake, some careless act.. lets... Them... IN! AAAAAAA! FOOLS!
It finds us all.
This is one of the reasons why I hate "fast zombies", they totally miss the point.
When we fear them too much we act irrationally, When we fear them too little we become careless. It's a sticky situation to avoid the zombie, let me tell you, I've given it plenty of thought.
Slow is awesome. That's the way it should be. So mote it be.
Like zombie bite. A bite full of the disease of death. Which slowly takes you and turns you into one of them, not a fast crazy disease that takes you in a second, death is a much classier a unstoppable truth than that.
Today's Song of the Day is "Aese's Death" by Edvard Grieg from his 1888 Peer Gynt Suite for Orchestra No.1 Opus 46. Though originally composed in 1867 as incidental music for the Ibsen play of the same name.
Crazy Fact: Edvard Grieg and Henrik Ibsen were friends and creative partners. This Orchestral Suite is extracted from the incidental music to Ibsen's play, Peer Gynt. Of the four pieces this is the 3rd least famous. "Morning Mood" and "In the Hall of the Mountain King" are recognizable immediately to most modern listeners. What is crazy is I never made the connection. I never realized these pieces were written to be performed together. Theatre degree don't fail me now! *sputter* *sputter* *pop* *fizzle*
Sunday, November 30, 2008
We have to thank Return of the Living Dead for that one. Fucking brilliant. Little do you all know that this 1985 horror-comedy masterpiece was written by the best friend of John Carpenter and writer of sci-fi masterpiece Alien, Dan O'Bannon.
"tina... teeeeeena... I can smell your brains..."
So good. It's got punks and zombie-punk strip teases, people slowly turning to zombies, zombies trying to eat their girlfriends... ah un-death does complicate love, but what doesn't.
"Send... more... paramedics."
Like every good movie from the 80s it's got nuclear holocaust. It's got the split dog. It's got Burt, Frank and Freddy:
Burt: I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it'd die?
Frank: It worked in the movie!
Burt: Well, it ain't workin' now, Frank!
Freddy: You mean the movie lied?
Lotsa gore. Mobs of undead brain eaters. I had the Glow-in-the-Dark poster of it on my wall back in the Dartmouth days. My DVD case of it Glows-In-The-Dark still. So 80s. So awesome. And it's got the wicked evil explanations of zombie quality of (un)life:
Ernie: Why do you eat people?
Corpse: Not people. Brains.
Ernier: Brains only?
Corpse: The PAIN!
Ernie: What about the pain?
Corpse: The pain of being DEAD!
Ernie: [laughing in surprise to his friends] It hurts... to be dead.
Corpse: I can feel myself rotting.
Ernie: Eating brains... How does that make you feel?
Corpse: It makes the pain go away!
SHIT DAMN! I need to watch it tonight.
Today's Song of the Day is "Broken Face" by the Pixies of their 1997 Live album "Death to the Pixies."
Crazy Fact: I've sent so many damn pixies songs I'm all out... Except they had a reunion tour in 2004 and I have yet to hear the album. I'm scared.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
So begins Zombie week.
Night of the Living Dead is just awesome. Every Halloween I used to dress as a zombie, (except the time I dressed as a chick... what a mistake. or when I dyed my hair black and dressed as the devil... what a mistake. That SHIT does NOT wash out of your hair after 4 washings. BULLSHIT. It took MONTHS! Never trust those packaging bastards. It made my skin look awful, as it slowly faded from black to brown to grey brown to lighter grey brown.. man!
Anyway, I used to watch Night of the Living Dead every Halloween, to help me get into character and because it was sooo awesome. I fell out of the habit, dunno why. I guess it had something to do with the Return of the Living like-a-student. So the Night(s) of the Living like-a-student were way less fun this time around. This time I was focused on my brains and less nightly shambling around looking for trouble.
Today's Song of the Day is "Surfin' Dead" by the Cramps of their 1983 album "Smell of Female".
Crazy Fact: The Cramps appeared on Beverly Hills 90210 in 1995. No Lie.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
That's what I was gonna write... but the bill got defeated again today.
Supposedly we are all supposed to panic and scream the sky is falling. I can't help but rejoice, it's in me and it just has to come out. YAAAAAY! No tax payer likes this idea one fucking bit. I'm not even an American and the idea makes me ill. On a gut level this shit is wrong. I say screw 'em!
I've read 2 awesome things as a result of this 'crisis'. First of all republican are voting it down because "it's an election year and I don't want to lose my job." FUCK! It should be an election year every year and we would ACTUALLY live in a democracy. I forget the other.
Remember these rich bastards are screwing themselves. The stock market is dropping because people are selling.
Am I selling? No.
Are you selling? No.
Why? Cause we have no fucking STOCK! All those greedy rich bastards are selling each others shit like it's on 8 track tape, pulling each other into the toilet (where the rest of us live) and I'm supposed to cry about it. Hey collectively crying Rich guy STOP SELLING! Oh wait your all selfish rich bastards who only look out for only yourself, right right. That's how you got so damn rich in the first place, right right. You'll drive that profit motive mobile right into the fucking sewer.
Why not take the 700 Billion dollars and buy some houses, then people don't default and banks get flush with cash. Seriously, at 200,000 per house that's 3 MILLION 5 HUNDRED THOUSAND HOUSES. FUCK!
We the people, play the lottery. We the people, would fucking LOVE that kinda bill. Make a list of every morgage that has 200,000 or less left on it. Pick out 3.5 million of them and pay them off. BOOM! Done. If there is on average 4 people living in each house thats at least 14 million very happy Americans. Banks have money to lend, People have money freed up to spend. HORAAAY! Happy economy. Call it the 'trickle up effect.'
I guess the US "We the People" Government doesn't see it "line up with their interests". No surprise.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
You don't have to be gay to see that Paul Newman was one hell of a handsome man. Even when he got old he was still a looker. How awesome can a guy be? Hated Hollywood bullshit, never cheated (once said "Why go out for a hamburger when you can stay home and have steak"). Stood up for his beliefs against the Veitnam war. Created multi-million dollar charities. Why can't there be a few more of these guys sprinkled around?
Well Fast Eddie, we are glad you stopped by. You were one of the good one for sure. If you're looking for a movie tonight try out one of these three (I'll pick only three):
"The Verdict" (1982)
Number two courtroom drama of all time to be sure. A broken failure clings to his last chance at redemption through a storm of alcohol and loathing. Slowly paced, understated and solid. Sidney Lumet directs. James Mason is perfect.
"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" (1958)
Script by Tennesse Williams. Elizabeth taylor is SMOKING HOT is an understatement. Either one of those reasons should be enough.
"Cool Hand Luke." (1967)
Prison film. Probably the best of all his films. Famous quote from this movie: "What we have here is a failure to communicate." If you haven't seen this see it... will not disappoint.
Today's Song of the Day is "Moving Pictures Silent Films" by the Great Lake Swimmers off their 2003 album "Great Lake Swimmers."
Crazy Fact: Regarding his spot on Richard Nixon's enemies list, Paul Newman said it is "the highest single honor I've ever received." Awesome.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
My Top 5 Names for Taking a Dump:
5. Bowel Movement ---tied with--- Defecate.
There both just so clinical, it cracks me up.
4. Drop the Kids off at the Pool.
It's old but it still gets me. It's starts with 'Drop' which resonates with me cuz of the fear of uriney back splash (gross) AND the old public toilet noise PLOP! Which so shockingly breaks the silence in those echo chambers of embarrassment. The kids metaphor is great, my little creations (the little smelly monsters that they are). And finally the fact that it's something I gotta worry about before I do and then not worry about after it's done (cuz there in gods hands now) is awesome.
3. Pinch off a Loaf
My old favourite. You got that steamy hot loaf of freshly cooked bread feel to it which rocks and the messy unsatisfying pinch thing - HAHAHA - It still makes me laugh! (sigh)
2. Move Brown
It's just so gross and awesome. You got reference to the terrible 'shit brown' colour which is unique among these five. the Move goes back to bowel movement which gives me twice the impact. And it's new. horray!
1. Make a Splash
The number one spot goes to this beauty cuz it makes you feel like it's something you should announce to the world. An accomplishment. Something to be proud of which is in stark defiance of the age-old social rules of shitting.
Today's Song of the Day is "I Shall Be Released" by Bob Dylan originally from the 1967 bootleg recordings known as "The Basement Tapes" but later released in 1971 on Bob Dylan Greatest Hits, Vol. 2.
Crazy Fact: Dylan spent the summer of 1960 in Denver, where he met bluesman the inspiration behind his signature harmonica rack and guitar.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
The scariest thing I've come across for a long time on the internet is this. Did you follow the link? Do it. Confused? If you zoomed out you might notice that a lot of information about Georgia, the country, is missing. Two weeks ago it was totally blank. I assume the some government body requests to be removed and that is that.
Why scary? Well, Google *is* the internet. If you can't Google it, you can't find it. So does it exist? What else is Google leaving blank. What kind of censorship is that? I'm not sure it has a name. 'Lost in Cyberspace' is what my dated Information Retrieval textbook calls it. Which is a special brand of 1999 kind of fucking lame.
I just stare at the blank empty Georgia with roads going into it's borders from all sides just disappearing. Poof! It makes my heart sink. How crazy would you feel if you went to the library and every atlas had blanked out Georgia, Iraq, Jordan... just like that. I would feel like I was in a "paranoid future b-movie".
Like Logan's Run, minus the sweet seventies garb, I can just see myself sweaty, shifty-eyed, from library to library, looking for an end to the madness. Then barely clutching on to a weakening sanity, I break and scream "Don't you SEE!" "CAN'T you SEE!"
I just wanted to know where South freakin' Ossetia was and now, instead, thanks to Google I've been driven mad. Thanks Google. Jerk.
Today's Song of the Day is "Great Gig in the Sky" by Pink Floyd off their 1972 album Dark Side of the Moon.
Crazy Fact: Richard Wright of Pink Floyd died from cancer today at the age of 65. He wrote this song.