Monday, February 28, 2005

Cold Feet.

A cabin in New Hampshire will teach you a few things. I didn't really know there was such a thing as good tequila. Well there is.

Caleb: Pif! Go out and crank up the hot tub. We are gonna do this!

Pif: You got it Pontiac!

I pull on my enormous boots and tear out into the freezing (minus 15) night to 'Crank that mutha up' Predictably, I trip over god knows what and whack my knee harder then I've ever heard anything get smacked against ANYTHING, ever. Like a wrecking ball of pain into my soul, my central nervous was so stunned by the pain all I could do was freeze in place and grimace in blinding pain. Then after a moment, like my entire being was inhaling, preparing itself for this, I howl. Primal, like a beast, like a mutha fucka, I howl. Surprisingly it helps. I stumble the last few feet to the hot tub, realize I have absolutely no idea how to 'crank this mutha' so I whine and limp and stumble my way back to the main cabin.

Wren: What the hell did you do to yourself?!

Pif: FUCK! I an invisible monster of Pain just fucking kicked me in the knees. It hurts I'll live. The water will fix me.

Caleb: Let's do this.

We make ready. And all seven of us head through the cold to the near steaming hot tub. The steam coming out of it is like a smokestack into the night. I can't even see the other side. I start throwing snow through the steam cloud just to see who yelps from the other side.

Ariel and Ali: Hey!

fun. I do it again.

Rob and Caleb: Hey fucker! (snow splatters back at me in an act of vengence)

very fun.

Wren: (shaking a bottle of tequila in my face) Power up, 'cause when you hit that water your going to need it.

About ten minutes before pounded my knee into the most mysterious and hardest substance in the known solar-system I had run out into the bitter cold and broke all the ice around the dock for one inevitability. You guessed it. To go jump in the lake. all seven of us. I hope I have the balls to jump in and I hope I don't leave them in the lake when I get out. It makes me wonder if it's actually possible to freeze them off. We will see.

(to be continued...)

Today's Song of the Day is "Real Cool Time" by The Stooges off their 1969 debut album "The Stooges."

Crazy Fact: Iggy Pop (the point this song came out he was known as Iggy Stooge) and Tom Waits have a scene together in Jim Jarmush's new film Coffee and Cigarettes and it's worth the watch.


Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Back to Bush Country

I'm going to say in Abe Lincon's mom's cabin with the... I'd like to say boys, but not this time, the men (6 of them) (yeah you better appreciate it you fucker!) get my geek on and see what hell breaks loose.

That's all I had a very LARGE day and sleep is claiming it's share of it. Looking forward to going, looking forward to coming back. How great is that?

If die on the way there I just want you all to know that...

Today's Song of the Day is "Old Man Mose" by Louis Armstrong released in 1935.

Crazy Fact: Louis, generally known as the grandfather of Jazz wrote this song and Hated all jazz after swing.


My Jimmy Hats.

'My jimmy hats.' I love that phrase. When shit is street and I don't get it or kinda get it makes me laugh out of control. Like a your so cool It's killing me sort of laugh. This is one of the many reason to listen to Hip Hop.

Anyway I was in New Hampshire in September with Caleb and Mike and Wren and Robin and C, M and I went for a Booze run to 'Tax-Free Booze Heaven' (no Tax in NH) We are looking around shopping for booze and I forgot my wallet and looking as young as I do I wasn't going to risk buying anything. So we select our boozey cheapnesses and walk up the counter and the american lady says "can I see you id's"

Caleb: yep

Mike: sure

American Lady: What about you?

ME: ME!?

American Lady: Yes, you.

ME: I'm not buying anything.

American Lady: You touched it?

Me: What?

American Lady: I saw you touch it.

Me: I- I- I

American Lady: I was watching.

Me, Caleb and Mike in unison: ...!

Me: ...well ...I forgot my wallet.

American Lady: I'm sorry. I can't sell to you.

Me, Caleb and Mike in unison: ...!

American Lady: You'll have to leave.

Me and Caleb in unison: ...!

Mike: He's 31! Are you telling me you don't think he's 19?

American Lady: He maybe 19, but the legal age is 21.

Mike: ...f u c k...

We leave. We go next door. We buy booze.

Americans, free and easy with guns and hard as nails with their booze. The worst thing was I didn't leave my wallet at the cabin, I left it in the car. double doe!

Today's Song of the Day is "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" by A Tribe Called Quest off "People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm" released in 1990.

Crazy Fact: Q-Tip had previously guested on several tracks from De La Soul's 3 Feet High and Rising and later appeared on Deee-Lite's "Groove Is in the Heart"


Monday, February 21, 2005

People are Tricky.

People react to things in unexpected ways. They think they can cover up their emotions. Well they can, mostly because people let them operate under that guise. The fact that people let them gives many of us the false feeling that we are capable of hiding our emotional reactions, like we are smarter than the rest. What's really strange is when you call someone's bluff, When you say, I saw that. If you can pin them down and talk about it you can get an insight into that person and that moment. Then the present can be much more present, more valuable. It's exploration can be richly engauging, much more interesting than what I'm used to. I'm used to thinking mostly in hindsight, safe ol' hindsight, 'Yup, that's what I shoulda done, I guess it's too late now, better luck next time.'

Interesting. I think times they are a-changin.' We will see. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Saturday Boy" by Billy Bragg off his 1987 album "Back To Basics."

Crazy Fact: After leaving the Army, he began working at a record store; while he was working, he was writing songs.


Sunday, February 20, 2005

Disappearing Sundays.

That's what Sunday's are for. Disappearing. Turn off the cell phone. Go somewhere no one can find you, see if you can find something you've over looked. You maybe surprised. Life moves at a tight clip. Things are easily missed or dropped. It the only way to notice the subtleties. Take the time to stop time, jump into the void, remove the distractions look hard into places previously slighted, even if was unintended, when you stop you may discover a few things, some surprising things. Probably find some things have been misplaced.

Take a Houdini Sunday.

Today's Song of the Day is "Harpsichord Concerto in F minor: ii. Largo" Performed on piano by Glenn Gould and the Columbia Symphony Orchestra, Conducted by Leonard Bernstein, recorded in 1957, Composed by Johann Sebastian Bach in 1719.

Crazy Fact: The 1955 Columbia Masterworks recording of Bach's Goldberg Variations, has never been out of print in the 50 years since its first release. wow.


Thursday, February 17, 2005

Factory Quality Scratches

Dude I bought the monster version of Raging Bull at Her Magesties Vinyl and it was SCRATCHED! like Seriously scratched... unplayabley scratched. yikes. I don't have a recipt. Does that matter anymore? I'm taking the fucker back and they better take it back. dude.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel off their final 1970 album "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

Crazy Fact: Paul Simon is REALLY short and is in Annie Hall (that one wasn't scratched)


Wednesday, February 16, 2005

When TV is Good.

The Daily Show is so Damn good. I think this clip says it all about modern media. IT's fantastic. It's says the only people free to say the truth are those without the responisiblity to do so. It says the newspapers are getting there news from the irresponsible. When there not, there are just mouth pieces of Powerfull, regurgitating their every word. Acceptance and Access leads to complicity.

Reporters can now be jailed for refusal to betray there sources. What? didn't anyone fucking SEE the Insider? How is it possible to reveal the truth against the powerful without protection from them? Oh the don't WANT you to reveal the truth about them.

What kind of retarded society do we live in where the law is held back by the common truth. I wish I was a dinosaur.

Yes, and I know this song is about Cocaine Don't care.

Today's Song of the Day is "Master Of Puppets" by Metallica off there 1986 album "Master Of Puppets."

Crazy Fact: There Bassist Cliff Burton was killed in a Bus Accident. (should've been Lars Ulrich... more proof there is no god)


Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Terrified Beyond the Capacity for Rational Thought

Just fucking shoot me. I can't deal with this so today I'm handing off to Bill Moyers.

No Tomorrow
by Bill Moyers

One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress. For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power in Washington.

Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues hold stoutly to a worldview despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality. When ideology and theology couple, their offspring are not always bad but they are always blind. And there is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the facts.

Remember James Watt, President Ronald Reagan's first secretary of the interior? My favorite online environmental journal, the ever-engaging Grist, reminded us recently of how James Watt told the U.S. Congress that protecting natural resources was unimportant in light of the imminent return of Jesus Christ. In public testimony he said, "after the last tree is felled, Christ will come back."

Beltway elites snickered. The press corps didn't know what he was talking about. But James Watt was serious. So were his compatriots out across the country. They are the people who believe the Bible is literally true - one-third of the American electorate, if a recent Gallup poll is accurate. In this past election several million good and decent citizens went to the polls believing in the rapture index.

That's right - the rapture index. Google it and you will find that the best-selling books in America today are the 12 volumes of the "Left Behind" series written by the Christian fundamentalist and religious-right warrior Timothy LaHaye. These true believers subscribe to a fantastical theology concocted in the 19th century by a couple of immigrant preachers who took disparate passages from the Bible and wove
them into a narrative that has captivated the imagination of millions of Americans.

Its outline is rather simple, if bizarre (the British writer George Monbiot recently did a brilliant dissection of it and I am indebted to him for adding to my own understanding): Once Israel has occupied the rest of its "biblical lands," legions of the antichrist will attack it, triggering a final showdown in the valley of Armageddon.

As the Jews who have not been converted are burned, the messiah will return for the rapture. True believers will be lifted out of their clothes and transported to Heaven, where, seated next to the right hand of God, they will watch their political and religious opponents suffer plagues of boils, sores, locusts and frogs during the several years of tribulation that follow.

I'm not making this up. Like Monbiot, I've read the literature. I've reported on these people, following some of them from Texas to the West Bank. They are sincere, serious and polite as they tell you they feel called to help bring the rapture on as fulfillment of biblical prophecy. That's why they have declared solidarity with Israel and the Jewish settlements and backed up their support with money and volunteers. It's why the invasion of Iraq for them was a warm-up act, predicted in the Book of Revelations where four angels "which are bound in the great river Euphrates will be released to slay the third part of man." A war with Islam in the Middle East is not something to be feared but welcomed - an essential conflagration on the road to redemption. The last time I Googled it, the rapture index stood at 144 - just one point below the critical threshold when the whole thing will blow, the son of God will return, the righteous will enter Heaven and sinners will be condemned to eternal hellfire.

So what does this mean for public policy and the environment? Go to Grist to read a remarkable work of reporting by the journalist Glenn Scherer - "The Road to Environmental Apocalypse." Read it and you will see how millions of Christian fundamentalists may believe that environmental destruction is not only to be disregarded but actually welcomed - even hastened - as a sign of the coming apocalypse.

As Grist makes clear, we're not talking about a handful of fringe lawmakers who hold or are beholden to these beliefs. Nearly half the U.S. Congress before the recent election - 231 legislators in total and more since the election - are backed by the religious right.

Forty-five senators and 186 members of the 108th Congress earned 80 to 100 percent approval ratings from the three most influential Christian right advocacy groups. They include Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, Assistant Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Conference Chair Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, Policy Chair Jon Kyl of Arizona, House Speaker Dennis Hastert and Majority Whip Roy Blunt. The only Democrat to score 100 percent with the Christian coalition was Sen. Zell Miller of Georgia, who recently quoted from the biblical book of Amos on the Senate floor: "The days will come, sayeth the Lord God, that I will send a famine in the land." He seemed to be relishing the thought.

And why not? There's a constituency for it. A 2002 Time-CNN poll found that 59 percent of Americans believe that the prophecies found in the book of Revelations are going to come true. Nearly one-quarter think the Bible predicted the 9/11 attacks. Drive across the country with your radio tuned to the more than 1,600 Christian radio stations, or in the motel turn on some of the 250 Christian TV stations, and you can hear some of this end-time gospel. And you will come to understand why people under the spell of such potent prophecies cannot be expected, as Grist puts it, "to worry about the environment. Why care about the earth, when
the droughts, floods, famine and pestilence brought by ecological collapse are signs of the apocalypse foretold in the Bible? Why care about global climate change when you and yours will be rescued in the rapture?

And why care about converting from oil to solar when the same God who performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes can whip up a few billion barrels of light crude with a word?"

Because these people believe that until Christ does return, the Lord will provide. One of their texts is a high school history book, "America's Providential History." You'll find there these words: "The secular or socialist has a limited-resource mentality and views the world as a pie ... that needs to be cut up so everyone can get a piece." However, "[t]he Christian knows that the potential in God is unlimited
and that there is no shortage of resources in God's earth ... while many secularists view the world as overpopulated, Christians know that God has made the earth sufficiently large with plenty of resources to accommodate all of the people."

No wonder Karl Rove goes around the White House whistling that militant hymn, "Onward Christian Soldiers." He turned out millions of the foot soldiers on Nov. 2, including many who have made the apocalypse a powerful driving force in modern American politics.

It is hard for the journalist to report a story like this with any credibility. So let me put it on a personal level. I myself don't know how to be in this world without expecting a confident future and getting up every morning to do what I can to bring it about. So I have always been an optimist. Now, however, I think of my friend on Wall Street whom I once asked: "What do you think of the market?" "I'm optimistic," he answered. "Then why do you look so worried?" And he answered: "Because I am not sure my optimism is justified."

I'm not, either. Once upon a time I agreed with Eric Chivian and the Center for Health and the Global Environment that people will protect the natural environment when they realize its importance to their health and to the health and lives of their children. Now I am not so sure. It's not that I don't want to believe that - it's just that I read the news and connect the dots.

I read that the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has declared the election a mandate for President Bush on the environment. This for an administration:

That wants to rewrite the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act and the Endangered Species Act protecting rare plant and animal species and their habitats, as well as the National Environmental Policy Act, which requires the government to judge beforehand whether actions might damage natural resources.

That wants to relax pollution limits for ozone; eliminate vehicle tailpipe inspections, and ease pollution standards for cars, sport-utility vehicles and diesel-powered big trucks and heavy equipment.

That wants a new international audit law to allow corporations to keep certain information about environmental problems secret from the public. That wants to drop all its new-source review suits against polluting, coal-fired power plants and weaken consent decrees reached earlier with coal companies. That wants to open the Arctic [National] Wildlife Refuge to drilling and increase drilling in Padre Island National Seashore, the longest stretch of undeveloped barrier island in the world and the last great coastal wild land in America.

I read the news just this week and learned how the Environmental Protection Agency had planned to spend $9 million - $2 million of it from the administration's friends at the American Chemistry Council - to pay poor families to continue to use pesticides in their homes. These pesticides have been linked to neurological damage in children, but instead of ordering an end to their use, the government and the industry were going to offer the families $970 each, as well as a camcorder and
children's clothing, to serve as guinea pigs for the study.

I read all this in the news.

I read the news just last night and learned that the administration's friends at the International Policy Network, which is supported by Exxon Mobil and others of like mind, have issued a new report that climate change is "a myth, sea levels are not rising" [and] scientists who believe catastrophe is possible are "an embarrassment."

I not only read the news but the fine print of the recent appropriations bill passed by Congress, with the obscure (and obscene) riders attached to it: a clause removing all endangered species protections from pesticides; language prohibiting judicial review for a forest in Oregon; a waiver of environmental review for grazing permits on public lands; a rider pressed by developers to weaken protection for crucial habitats in California.

I read all this and look up at the pictures on my desk, next to the computer - pictures of my grandchildren. I see the future looking back at me from those photographs and I say, "Father, forgive us, for we know not what we do." And then I am stopped short by the thought: "That's not right. We do know what we are doing. We are stealing their future. Betraying their trust. Despoiling their world."

And I ask myself: Why? Is it because we don't care? Because we are greedy? Because we have lost our capacity for outrage, our ability to sustain indignation at injustice? What has happened to our moral imagination?

On the heath Lear asks Gloucester: "How do you see the world?" And Gloucester, who is blind, answers: "I see it feelingly.'"

I see it feelingly.

The news is not good these days. I can tell you, though, that as a journalist I know the news is never the end of the story. The news can be the truth that sets us free - not only to feel but to fight for the future we want. And the will to fight is the antidote to despair, the cure for cynicism, and the answer to those faces looking back at me from those photographs on my desk. What we need is what the ancient
Israelites called hochma - the science of the heart ... the capacity to see, to feel and then to act as if the future depended on you.

Believe me, it does.

Bill Moyers was host until recently of the weekly public affairs series "NOW with Bill Moyers" on PBS. This article is adapted from AlterNet, where it first appeared. The text is taken from Moyers' remarks upon receiving the Global Environmental Citizen Award from the Center for Health and the Global Environment at Harvard Medical School.

Today's Song of the Day is "Jesus Gonna Be Here" by Tom Waits off his 1992 Album "Bone Machine."

Crazy Fact: (see Above)


Monday, February 14, 2005

Hallmark Sux Dix

Ok as we know this 'celebration' known as Valentine's Day is all about Guilt and fear for those of you with Significant others. To those of us with insignificant others it's about shame and self-loathing, a painful reminder of our lonesome and socially deficient status. yum. two scoops for me.

So I've decided to embrace it and break my own heart. If I don't cry by the end of the night i'm a total failure. I'm going to listen to every cheesey 'just gets to me' love song I can find and I got a heartbreaker of a film or so Cel tells me (Before Sunset.) I think that should do the trick. If that doesn't work I go through old photos and put on the break up music. wow that one should really do the trick. ok ok but if that doesn't work I'll have to put on Lord of the Rings, that works everytime. I don't know why but it does. If some could tell me why you'll save me a tonne of money in Psychotherapy. We at the pif institute of navel gazing would really appreciate any tips.

Fortunately, I have a cute Brown furry Four legged Valentine. DAMN he's cute!

Ok time to get to the cryin'!

Today's Song of the Day is "Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)" performed by Ella Fitzgerald off her 1956 album "The Cole Porter Songbook" composed by Cole Porter in 1928.

Crazy Fact: Cole Porter studied law and music at Harvard, all courtesy of a rich grandfather. His grandfather was appalled Porter would consider music as a career and never forgave him.


Sunday, February 13, 2005

Two Reasons.

I'm just trying to get this song out of my head, it's driving me nuts. And it's a song for Fiver, my brownest and furriest valentine.

Today's Song of the Day is "Black Eyed Dog" by Nick Drake of his 1986 album "Fruit Tree."

Crazy Fact: This album was released long after his death.


Saturday, February 12, 2005

Just Do It Solo.

I don't like Bob Dylan with a band as much as Bobby D solo. The band clutters it all up. Anyway here, listen to this to illustrate my point. There's usually all these asshole musicians playing along, i'm sure there are very good at plaing their instruments, but it's not a band. Lets get real. That Rob Zimmerman is a one man show, whoever goes gets on stage with him, that's cool but I could take or leave them. I'm not here to see them. Actually if I had my druthers I'd boot them. How could they be a band, there a bunch of hired guns, who doubtless idealize him, as well the should. but come on,

"Hey Bob, how about it we do one of mine for a change."
"Your fired."

Today's Song of the Day is "Just Like A Woman" by Bob Dylan off his 1998 album "Bob Dylan Live, 1966: The Royal Albert Hall Concert."

Crazy Fact: Bob Dylan just released an Autobiography and did his first interview in decades on 60 minutes in January of this year to support it. I saw it a very cool interview.


Friday, February 11, 2005

A is for Asshole J is for Jackass

I'm tired of jackasses infiltrating my life. I have little patience for them treating me and/or my friends like shit. Jackasses. And I'm not talking about those friendly MTV jackasses hurting themselves for our amusement. I'm talking about full of shit Jackasses that talk out there asses and believe the shit they say. They'll say whatever sounds like the right thing to say and believe it. That's the killer. They convince themselves, that's what makes them so believable. Such Jackasses.

An Asshole, doesn't believe his lies but KNOWS he's lying. Actually I think that's a bastard. Hence the Lying Bastard. I'm not even sure what an asshole is... insensitive and belligerent, combative and loud, maybe? Maybe I don't know. I guess I need to understand my asshole. I need a mirror. I've hoid of navel-gazing, but this is re-DICK-u-lass.

Today's Song of the Day is "The House That Jack Built" by Aretha Franklin released in 1968.

Crazy Fact: Aretha Franklin had two kids by the age of 16. AND is a high school drop-out, y'aa-aall!


Thursday, February 10, 2005

I'll Get You For This Trebec!

Oh my god. Celebrity Jeopardy is no joke:

"When Teri Garr appeared on "Jeopardy" in '99, she tied with Naomi Judd for second place behind Jane Curtin -- Teri and Naomi finished with $0, and no one answered the Final Jeopardy question correctly: "For your information, this TV sit-com that debuted in '88 is the longest-running sit-com still on the air," Naomi said "The Cosby Show," Teri said "Seinfeld," and Jane said "Married ... with Children," but the right answer was "Murphy Brown."

(I got it from Here:

I really like Teri Garr if for no other reason than Young Frankenstein, but dude. oh dude. AND She was once dated Elvis Presley. DUDE!

Today's Song of the Day is "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" composed by lyricist Roy Turk and composer Lou Handman performed here by Elvis Presley released as a B-side in 1960.

Crazy Fact: it's Elvis! You've heard it all. He should've died in the army not on the throne.


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

3 out of 10 is bad

Do this. We know nothing and by 'we' i mean 'I' about Canadian music. I'd try to make up for it by making it Canada Week on SOTD but I don't have the stomach to send out Helix, Payolas and Zappacosta tunes for the rest of the week. Oh god if you can name me a worse Canadian 'artist' that Zappacosta, I'd like to hear it no no I mean see it. If it's that bad seeing is enough.. really.

Honestly I had trouble filling out that stupid quiz I was bored to tears. As soon as I read names like David Foster, Master T and "Canada’s Polka King" well my eyes were rolling so exaggeratedly I could hear myself get dizzy. god 'Master T'! Jesus! I want to say the Master and The Mister duke it out for the true 'T' title. I guess I really just wanna see Master T get the crap kicked out of him, I don't care if's it's by a pack of kids.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Seeker" by The Who off their 2000 compliation "BBC Sessions."

Crazy Fact: In 1965, Daltrey claimed he would kill himself before reaching 30 because he didn't want to get old. He still performs this, explaining that the song is about an attitude, not a physical age. I saw him in an infomerical for a 60's music compliation and he is all attitude. all attitude.


Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Steve Martin is a Jerk.

Dude. I've been let down by my childhood a few times recently. For Example: I thought Steve Martin 'lost it.' dude, I'm afraid to say, he may never of had it. I thought 'Father of the Bride' and 'Parenthood' were the shameful products of a career gone sour, they may just be products of a lame lame man. I done gone 'n' growed up I reckon. shit. I'm a little scared to see 'the jerk' I thought that was the funniest movie ever fro years, but I also thought that of 'the man with two brains' not so funny. dude. Me 'n' Cel couldn't even finish it.

You mean... it was never good. That's too much for me to handle. I never ever ever had bad taste. I'm Sure of it. SURE OF IT!

Today's Song of the Day is "Livin' On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi off their 1986 album "Slippery When Wet."

Crazy Fact: Desmond Child wrote this song and also wrote "Who Let the Dogs Out" and "Livin' la Vida Loca" and "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" this I find crazy... ok how about Jon Bon Jovi's real name is Jon Bongiovi... BONG!


Monday, February 07, 2005

It's Been a Long Time.

I'm writing again. my life fell into a whole unexpectedly. oops. I never seem to look where I'm going. can I get an 'amen!' Am I the only one? no. c'mon. do it you losers. anyway.

my feet are stinky. At the height of my procrastination I laundered my slippers. that's a painful thing to admit but it's true. My feet were stinky so I laundered my slippers. laundered... that's the only way to wash slippers really. laundered. And I had buttered scones and tea on the trolley. laundered. really that word makes about as much sense as me laundering slippers.

The Other Half of Me: HEY PIF... YEAH YOU IDIOT BOY... if your feet smell wash your FEET, dumb-ass, not the slippers. FUCK! How did I get stuck with you of all people.

Well anyway... nothings working I washed my boot liners too. they still stink.

The Other Half: ... oh ...god. (long angry pause) FEET!

Maybe it's the carpet?

The Other Half of Me: for GOD SAKE man! FEET! FEET!

Todays' Song of the Day "Sexy Boy" by Air off their 1998 album" Moon Safari."

Crazy Fact: They did the soundtrack to the Sofia Coppola film The Virgin Suicides in early 2000. not crazy enuf. but I don't care. I got nuthin'