Tuesday, August 31, 2004

My Eyes Aflame All For Cheap Internet Love.

This is REALLY weird. I was bored (uh-oh, troubles a-brewin') so I filled out every one of those Internet singles sites I could find for kicks. It's a strange little world, isn't it? wow. It's a crazy cat 'n' mouse game of try to cheat the man. There are seemingly endless scams for cheating the site out of there 10 bucks or whatever. Your allowed to chat but not e-mail (that's extra), you can 'send a smile', but not talk (that's extra) your not allowed writing your email address or use the @ symbol anywhere. It's kinda creepy, people you don't know looking over your mental valuables (ie Profile) evaluating wheather it worth saying hello to. weird. I'm just waiting to walk down the street and see some one who I recognize from the site:


Pif: DUDE!

strange girl: I'm sorry... do I know you?

Pif: No, but I know your a Libra! and your 27 and like to jog and watch reality TV shows!

strange girl: No really. Who ARE you? is this a joke?

Pif: Nope... your favorite colour is red and you speak fluent Russian!

strange girl: fucking stalker! (Takes out pepper spray) PSSSSST!

Pif: (cluching eyes, screaming in utter agony) aaaaAAAA! Lavalife you DEVIL!! I never should have accepted your vile temptation! Look what you have done to me! Oh God the shame! You have laid me SO low, oh Jesus the pain! I am a hundred pound villian, a knave, a one trunk inheiriting slave!

strange girl with pepper spray: Oh yeah! Wait, I remember you now. I *thought* you looked familiar. Your handle is P-Dawg on Lavalife right! Your hair is a lot longer now. Hey, so, how are you doing?

Pif: Terrible.

strange girl with pepper spray: oh sorry about that, yeah I was little quick on the draw.

pif: nice to meet you but the sanity-melting agony is overwhelmming, so if you'll excuse me I have to slip into a coma... oh but e-mail me ok? (loses consciousness)

strange girl with pepper spray: I need your address! Oh shit, I don't have a pen! wait here! pdawg? (poke, poke)

Pif: zzzzzzzzzz

strange girl with pepper spray: pdawg? (poke) damn. I don't want to PAY for it. Well... so much for that.

(a match made on the internet.)


Today's Song of the Day is "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)" by The Beatles off their 1967 Album 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band."

Crazy Fact: Although it was mostly recorded in a single day, the album "Please Please Me" topped the British charts for a totally retarded 30 weeks (almost 8 months! Yikes!), establishing the group as the most popular rock & roll act ever seen in the U.K.

njoy

No comments: