Worst Episode Ever.

What can you do about geeks? Poor bastards.

So I'm on the Yellow School Bus, Lunch packed in my bag, with 'the Kids' chattering away in the background. There is one voice that grabs my attention from the front of the bus. I peer over the top of the high dark-green vinyl seat. Oh dude. He's talking about comic books. Not only is he talking about comic books, but, animately so. As the volume of his voice increases more and more people stop there conversations and turn towards the guy letting his geek flag fly. Ok to give you some idea of his vehemence is like he is standing on a desert island waving this flag for dear life trying to get the attention of the lone plane in the distance, it's as if his very existence hangs in the balance. Oh he got some attention all right, when he reaches his loudest and nerdiest crescendo everybody on the bus is silent astounded by his firebrand sermon of dorkdom, today's topic "How he'd kill superman."

Me in my Head: I wish McMurphy was driving this bus, I FEEEL like I'm in a nut-house, well more like a daycare, no like..Wha...?

The Lone Nerd: (loud) I COULDN'T Believe it, he had a WHOLE stack of Superman graphic novels!

Me in my Head: Uh-oh. dude, don't do it.

The Lone Nerd: (louder) It was awesome!

Me in my Head: That guy is trying to impress that girl with comic book stories?

The Girl: Really! Wow.

Me in my Head: Wow, it's working. And they met on the Big Yellow School Bus, how sweet. (chuckle)

The Lone Geek: (Really Excited) See you could make bullets out of Kryptonite, and load them in to any nearby semi-automatic or sub-machine gun.

Me in my Head: oh my god no... dude. Listen to yourself. Stop for your own sake. Please. please. p l e a s e.

The Lone Geek: (Near Bursting with excitement, but holding back) Well a Stupid man would fill up the clip with Kryponite Bullets. But then Superman would just be like 'Pow' and crush the gun.

Me in my Head: Maybe he'll find some Kryptonite on this field trip. (snicker)

The Lone Geek: (freaking out at the Fiendishness of His Plan) Not Me. I'd make the first five bullets normal so he'd be like 'haHA!' and then-

Me in my Head: DUDE! don't do it, calm the HELL down.

The Lone Geek: then after, (with Wild Abandon, waving his arms in the air) then he'd be like "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The bus is silent.


It broke my heart. I have my nerd leanings: Computer Science Major, a whole collection of old 'Micronaughts' and 'Ghost Rider' up there, for example. Therefore seeing this 'comrade' crucify himself was really hard, and of course really funny, but did it HAVE to be SUPERMAN? Couldn't it have been something interesting or at least obscure, and not so LAME as superman. In the deeper circles of Nerddom he'd be outcast.


Today's Song of the Day is "O Superman (For Massenet)" by Laurie Anderson off her 1981 Album "Big Science"

Crazy Fact: After earning an M.F.A. in sculpture from Columbia University in 1972, Laurie Anderson taught art history and Egyptian architecture at City College. and Last I heard Lou Reed was her boyfriend.

njoy