I Want to Kick My Dal Card in the Shins.

I'm like the a modern photographic re-telling of Portrait of Dorian Gray. Every time I get a piece of Photo ID taken my picture looks worse and worse, (maybe that means I'm looking better and better! let's hope. (Hope with me everyone! What's with the 'lets' part of that? Why the hell should you care? I mean, I hope you don't wish ill upon me, but still, the thought of everyone who reads this thinking 'OH my GOD i SO hope Pif is looking better with every photo ID, it would make me SO Happy!' That would be... well... nice, but absurd and unlikely and maybe a little creepy...) anyway, with all these tangents I'm not sure why your still reading.) In my first one I was 19 and drunk and medicated, so it should look a little messy but that's my best one! I look like I can bearly hold my head up which is partly true and I have a smile that goes for miles, you know that very pleased stoned sort of s m i l e .

From there it's all downhill:

- the next one I simply call "German Pornstar,"
- the next one's main comment is 'What's with that HUGE vein in your forehead!",
- next it's "Oh my GOD. Pif! That's Awful! What's with that scarf? and your eyes!",
- and most recently it's well no one has seen it yet, but it's awful. I'm cursed.

I think it's my building neurosis showing itself on camera, every time they take a picture I think to myself 'I hate this part.' and I think you can see it in the resulting crappy photo (that I have to constantly drag out and wave in front of people who don't trust me. (that's basically what they are saying when they ask for ID, no matter the circumstance) ...ummm...) and then every picture reinforces this 'bad photo ID curse' in my head and it gets worse and worse. It's going to spiral out of control and someday, right in front of the camera, my face will age and melt turning into the image of pure anxiety, like The Scream, but for real, and me.

that would be cool.


Today's Song of the Day is "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)" by Metallica off their 1986 album "Master Of Puppets."

Crazy Fact: Lars Ulrich is a dick. I'm just making sure everyone knows.

njoy