The Equation of the Universe.

Thank you Dawn M., for having a birthday, leaving the house and being in my presence, so you could be the ONLY person who thinks it's cool that I learned something about Einstein's General Relativity, more importantly, what I've named, the equation of the universe. (If you plug in the density and distance of the pieces of the universe it will draw you a curve indicating the expansion and collapse of the universe over time.) The coolest component of this equation is K. K is an unknown (probably a constant) which is equal to the amount of Black Matter in the universe. When Ozzy (my math prof who sounds just like Ozzy Osborne) said that, well he might as well have said 'Beam me up Scotty' and transported himself to the Starship Enterprise.

This is loco hyper-crazy science fiction. Klingons might as well've burst into the room and disintegrated my bookbag. "BLACK MATTER" the words echoed in my head large empty head and I felt like intellectually I just got hit in the head with a frying pan. Where am I? It was as if, my robot companion turned to me and said that earlier that day he was talking to Wendy, the galactic space amoeba. I just learned some Cosmology and General Relativity. And I understood it. It's just a differential equation. WOW. That's is the coolest thing I have ever learned. WOW. A sentence indicating it's coolness must be punctuated on both sides with the word "WOW."

Anyway, no one else cared. So I'm telling everybody I know in the bar, but no one finds it even a little interesting (except Dawn.) So many beerses later I pay the bill and turn to help physically drag Dawn to the next bar. (work pffft. lousy reason to stop drinking) and some dude stops me:

'Hey. Hey, it's been a while but...' he opens his pack of cigarettes. What the hell? I'm rushed and start thinking of things to say before he does whatever he is doing. "No I never met you', 'No I quit.' Is he getting a joint out? 'I quit that too.' What is he doing? It seemed like he was moving in slow motion. Finally, he displays the inside of the cigarette package to me in which he has written Calculus equations:

Pif: "CALCULUS?! Your showing me CALCULUS!?"

I'm sort of angered and relieved and confused and intrigued and terrified all at the same time. I just filled my blood stream with just enough booze to forget about 'The most Feared subject in the UNIVERSity' (as it was called earlier that day) and here is this 'some dude' pushing his red-pen back of a cigarette pack calculus equations in my face.

Pif: "Dude. I must talk really loud.'

"PIIIIIF help!" the girls are struggling to pull Dawn out of the bar (more importantly to the next bar) and need another body. I am that other-body. So I'm forced to pull myself away from 'some dude, secret big-ear'd guru of the cigarette-pack calculus before I can share any of these idea's or feelings with him.

It's kinda too bad.


Today's Song of the Day is "Cosmic Girl" by Jamiroquai off their 1996 album 'Travelling Without Moving.'

Crazy Fact: In 1999 Jamiroquai turned down a million-dollar offer to play at a concert on New Year's Eve.

njoy