Signs, Sign Everywhere There's Signs. (Part Two)

(Continued from yesterday...)

I'll have to outwit it. My brain is WAAY bigger that its' is. It's gotta work. I wait for it to get on the table, and BAM! I blow hard. It's creepy little feet can't get their grip on, so the little fucker tumbles into the dusty oblivion under my computer.

Pif: ha HA!

Victorious, I get to my daily distractions, before I study for the BIG TEST. Not even two minutes later. It crawls right at me. I blast it again with vigorous irritation. It comes back.

Pif: Have at Thee!

Again, I send it tumbling into oblivion.

I'm not sure it planned it this way, maybe I give this enemy too much credit, but one thing is for sure, I'll not underestimate this foe again, for it nearly cost me the war. I'm not sure what it was after, I'm no bug psychologist, but if I had to guess, it was to come in between me and my computer, probably using it's inherent GROSSness as its' primary weapon.

I'm convinced that after the last blast, it must have taken stock of the situation.

I've clearly demonstrated by inability or unwillingness to use brute force, the first choice of most mammals. It knew I was weak. It lulled me into a false sense of security, with the marginally effective breath attack. This was the turning point, it was at this point that I nearly lost the war.

At first I didn't see it. When finally I noticed it, my foe was carefully crawling through a tangle of cables. I blew at it, it's held on. whatever. It crawled up further. Ew! I blew at it again. It held fast.

Pif: Whatever you little idiot! I'll blow all six of your gross little legs into oblivion, you just watch.

I tried to ignore it. It was either the intensity of my instinctual disgust or my intuition warning me to play closer attention. Either way when next I looked, it was clearly crawling up the mouse cable.

Pif: EWW! Bastard! Gross! FUCKER!

I was outraged, I blew and blew in a near panic. As I did this I realized it's plan. It was through a dizzy haze of hyperventilation that I realized, it had me.

I could see it's evil plan now in every facet of the those two huge revolting compound eyes. I shook the mouse and it held fast. With my weapons rendered useless, morale was failing. It ardulously climbed up the cable, closer and closer to my hand. Frozen in fear. Frozen with the realization of my inevitable defeat. I snap out of it and pull my hand away as it climbs the last few inches of the mouse cable. The retreat has begun. If only I could stomach brute force. If only I could find the will. I shudder with disgust.

Pif: fucking YUCK!

I run up stairs for some water. It's hot and I need water. It's a distraction. I know. My self-esteem would not be able to bear the weight of this defeat. Outwitted by a Fly? I drank deep. This situation had become untenable. It calls for drastic measures. Death Penalty. I start back to the field of battle mallet in hand. Vengence held firmly in my mind I thought nothing of the consquences of taking a mallet and smashing the life out of this foe in such close proximity to a delicate electrical device like a computer. my precious.

Pif: Prepare yourself Enemy, for this hour is your last!

I get to the landing. It is lounging victoriously on my mouse pad. Easy target. I sit. I pause to prepare myself for the killing stroke. Then it strikes me. The little fool has made a grievous error. In a moment of clarity I see his weaknesses as clearly as he saw mine. I put down the mallet and lift up the mouse pad. It panics, skitters about and finally hunkers down for a blast.

Pif: We are well met my enemy. Yes, this Mammal won't swash you, but little Fly, you won't fly. Good by mister bond.

I flick the bottom of the mouse pad and fling my enemy down the stairs. He tumbles flightless into the darkness, defeated. I am victorious!

It doesn't REALLY matter thought because between spoiled milk and flightless flies, CLEARY the end is nigh. So it is written.


Today's Song of the Day is "Hells Bells" by AC/DC off their 1980 album "Back In Black."

Crazy Fact: By 1997, this album had sold an astounding 16 million copies in the U.S. alone.

njoy