It's 50s alright. It's called 'Tomarrowland' for christ-sake. I was half expecting to see Rocket Robinhood. Which actually would have been really cool, I'd get my picture taken with him in a heartbeat, Minnie and Goofy can stick it. but I reserve my real ire for 'beast' and 'the genie' and 'simba' they fucking bite it. But that's a different story.
Sonia: We going on Space Mountain and so are you.
Me: No way, I get car sick.
Sonia: C'mon...
Me: Look at that thing!
Sonia: You cannot go to Disney and not go on the rides.
Me: Do you want me to puke on the back of your head.
Sonia: Ok pif, you wait here.
Me: Excellent.
As I walk away I look up at the sign that says it's a 65 minute wait for this ride. Yikes.
Well, I wander over to the video arcade of course it's the biggest arcade I've ever seen in my life. They have it all, Street Fighter II, Dungeons and Dragons, X-men, I'm pretty happy about it. More importantly, a whole WALL of pinball. fucking SWEET. Pinball is hard to find these days. Most importantly they have creepshow, I got down on creepshow. 15 bucks later I go back to meet them.
Wesam looks like he stood to close to jet engine his hair is all crazy and swooped over to the side and you couldn't kick the smile off his face. There were happy and laughing and even said the 65 minute wait was worth it. Even still I'm glad it wasn't me.
Sonia: What did you do?
Me: I played 15 bucks worth of early nineties vids and pinball.
Sonia: You come to Disney World and you play Pinball?
Me: Hey Pinball is hard to find these days!
Sonia: Pinball!? What year is it?
Me: Well here in "tomorrowland" it's hard to tell. It could easily be 1956.
Sonia: You are getting on a ride You hear me?! Splash mountain, your on it.
Me: Never.
At Splash Mountain's crescendo, I have never, up to that point in my life, been so afraid.
When your coming on to the 'ride' you see one of those 'logs' with four rows of people on it emerging from a cave and dropped off a precipice down a 70 degree waterfall. They emerge screaming and the intensity of their screaming increases as they slip off the edge and speed toward there watery graves at uncomfortable and unnatural speeds. Their faces possessed by an apparent mind-melting fear and their mouths are open to a bizarre and inhuman degree. Young and old, male and female, of all colours and religions faced with the void react the same, as humans, with their mouths open so wide that it hurts, screaming uncontrollably. Fear once again brings all peoples of the earth together. Unity in fear. Disney, once again, is a metaphor for all agencies of power Government, Religion, Mothers Against Drunk Driving you name it.
It seems though the wait is a mere 55 minutes for the other suckers, we have 'fast passes', which is a license to feel like fat cats and cut to the front of a line that is literally 1500 feet long.
Ok, I'm running out of excuses here; 'motion sickness' isn't working, 'the lines too long' has just been cut short, and they're totally ignoring the coward angle, their defenses are too strong. and my jedi powers of charm are givin' me nuthin.'
Just before I get to the front of the line I eye the "last change to escape sign" No I can't, I'll never ever live that down. ok I'm doing it.
Them: Line up here sir.
For all I know this goes to a meat packing plant. Maybe this is how cows feel before the slaughter. Ooo fun, a conveyer belt.
Our 'log' arrives.
Me: Oh look, this casket seats 8 to 12.
Sonia (shoots me a smile and a 'don't you dare run for it' look) Get in you pansy!
I get in the back. DON'T GET IN THE BACK. I'm telling you this now, I wish some one had told me.
(to be continued...)
Today's Song of the Day is "Don't Go" by Yaz off their 1982 album "Upstairs at Eric's"
Crazy Fact: Vince Clarke had penned almost all of Depeche Mode's debut album, Speak & Spell, including their early dancefloor hit "I Just Can't Get Enough".
njoy
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