On our way to Orlando we stop in the worst McDonalds on the Planet. It was a cross between a patchwork of every McDonald's I've ever been to through the years and a tar paper shack. There were slabs of blackened untreated plywood over the 'bun machine' or 'burger machine' or whatever it is. I haven't seen the textures or colours in the 'wall coverings' since the seventies and the tile floor, well, what was left of the tile floor was early sixies for sure. Everything would be cool and retro if it wasn't the ugliest sixities and seventies shit I'd ever seen.
The boards over most of the windows were blocking out most of the light, thank mericiful jesus, because the bastard behind my eyes wouldn't stop screaming at me in bright sunlight. This Ancient McDonalds better shut that bastard up.
Me: I swear I can still taste the champagne.
Wesam: I need coffee.
Me: I don't want to taste the champagne anymore.
Wesam: I think American coffee is going to be awful.
Me: I can't believe you Losers passed out before midnight.
Wesam: I need Tim Hortons.
Me: The ONE night you guys pass out early is the ONE night of the year every else stays up.
Wesam: You did good pif. you did good.
Them: your order, sir.
I was half expecting those old styrofoam containers. no luck. The signage and the drive through were all eighties. the parking lot was shot to hell. The plants even seemed to be trapped in time. In a very sad time. Goddamn that Sun! Fucking Sunshine State.
Me: I'm not feeling very Disney.
Wesam: Join the club.
I look at the crew. Julian's happy enough munchin fries, but the rest of us have that new years day thousand yard stare. What the hell are we getting ourselves into. Disney World. Jeesus. I fear the worst.
Me: Jeesus, did you get a load of the McDonalds that time forgot.
The crew in unison: oh yeah.
Me: Good God.
Sonia: I think the sign still said '50 million served.'
Wesam: There coffee is awful.
Sonia: It's like water, isn't it.
Wesam: It's like water!
I look back at the McDonalds as we drive away and concentrate on it. I try to will it to collapse with my long dormant Pyschic powers. No luck. still dormant. maybe they'll will come to me in Disney World. ooo. That would be cool.
I unwrap my 'meal.' Flattened, ugly and smelly, that's a McDonalds cheese burger alright not much has changed through the years. Should I really eat this thing? It came out of that time machine? Fuck it. I'll probably puke anyway. Might as well.
Today's Song of the Day is "Take A Chance On Me" by ABBA off their 1978 album "The Album."
Crazy Fact: In 1973 they had the unwieldy name of Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha & Frida. Hikes!
njoy
2 comments:
The best quote is from Sonia. "It still said 50 million served" hahahahahaha, that killed me. Florida sucks. When I'm old, I'll try...I dunno, Libya. Surely there'll be peace in the middle-east by then, and land will be cheap, right?
And then they'll open a Libyan Disneyworld and it'll all go to hell.
We're doomed.
Sonia was killing me for days. It was awesome. How we laughed it was unnatural. just wait till I tell you about Pleasure Island. dood. I'm sure words won't do it justice.
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