Give Up.

I have a shrink. He's awesome. more about that later. One observation he made i'm still puzzling over. He said I keep doing things though I know they won't work. specifically, I can't study at home, it's just too distracting and I get nothing done. I keep saying I can only study at school and then "well, I tried to study at home and I didn't get anything done."

It was just an observation of his, he didn't come out and say "stop trying to study at home." anyway the way he put it made me think that wasn't the only example but a bit of a personality trait.

I've been thinking about that.

I've been wondering why I do that. I believe we only do things that work or often work.

What is at the root of this march into failure routine? Is it optimism? A "Maybe this time it will work" mantra. Is it subborness?

Two things occur to me: People have told me i'd fail often (every grade from 3 to 12) and I've succeeded. I was assured I would fail by the authorities and succeeded in grade nine. I think the speech was:

"You are ALL here because it is a certainity you will fail Math, which is a requirement. You all need to double your mark this term and I've never seen anyone double their grade in my entire 18 years of teaching... and Space Cadet, you need to triple your grade, so get used to sticking around for another year." I was affectionately known as 'Space Cadet', by Mr. Kilfoil. I passed. By some miracle we did computer programming that term in Math, Drama in English and I started medication for ADD. tripled my marks. Huh... impossible, right.

Why do I have to continually test these truths? I think it's because these truth are circumstantial and circumstances change.


Today's Song of the Day is "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys off their 1994 album "Ill Communication."

Crazy Fact: They are still together.

njoy