Feline Defender.

Ok I gots the mice. They are noisey fuckers... and braizen! They make me scream, well yelp really, It's not actually a scream, not like space mountain screaming anyway.

Anyway... STAY IN THE WALLS! Get out of my garbage and out of my way. They shit fucking EVERYWHERE it's gross. Dirty little bastards. Sarah hateses them, but neither of us can stomach traps.

Now, I like cats, but I hate cleaning cat shit, I hate the allergic effects and I don't want to be it's jailer or shovel my pet off the street, balling and wailing. However, fortune smiled upon our little home. The neighbours cat likes to meow at the door. We got sick of the wailing so we let him in.

His name is Jack. He has SEVEN toes on each front paw, maybe eight it's kinda hard to tell. He's black and most importantly he is a hunter. We let him in he looks around then catches the scent and waits quietly in the kitchen.

Pif: "What am i going to eat... MAN! Eating is-"

Sarah: "!!!" (bright-eyed, exictedly pointing at Jack, while gleefully waving at me)

Pif: "DUde..."

Sarah: (still pointing ephatically) "oh... my... god..." (That is the sound Sarah makes when trying to be still and silent AND jump up and down and the same time)

Then vigourously but restrained, we do a strange spontaneous smiling dance of celebration. Jack looks at us oddly. We stop. He turns back intently. We back out of the room and chatter in the living room about it till we get distracted, forget, remember homework and start doing it.

An hour or so later...

Sarah: oh-my-god-pif-come-here!

Jack is in the kitchen with a mouse in his mouth. drops it. it runs. he jumps it. puts it in his mouth. drops it. looks at it, it runs. he gets it. about a hundred times. everytime it runs,, we scream.

Us: We have (EEEEK!) to get it out what do (YEEP!) we do how do we (AAAA!) get it i can't believe he caught (BAAAH!) one what a good catcher he gonna play (JESUS!) with it forever we have (GAAAA!) to trap it.

After moving some furniture, we, with jacks help, get them both outside. Jack disappears down the backstairs, mouse in mouth.

No sign of a mouse for two weeks. Well, I guess the truce is over, 'cause that pizza box is noisey and moving. Where or where is Jack? JACK we need your wierd mutant paws to save us from the tyranny of these dirty monsters.

please?


Today's Song of the Day is "Please Please Please" by James Brown off his 1956 album "Please, Please, Please."

Crazy Fact: In 1988, he led the police on an interstate car chase after allegedly threatening people with a handgun.

njoy