Bug spray smells better than mosquitos feel. And bug spray smells fucking horrible.
While I'm in the car I'm thinking to myself why doesn't EVERYONE live in the country. It's so beautiful. so peaceful. so quiet. Closer to nature, closer to our natural state. We get lost a few times getting there but hey that's nothing new we did that everyday in Paris so whatever.
"The lady in the store says the Old Halifax Road IS the River Road. We won't ask the obvious question."
"Deal."
We get lost in a trailer park then
we get lost in another trailer park then
we find the dirt road
"sweet."
Little do we know that our definition of pothole was insufficient a description for what we were in for.
"Jeesus! what is this the road to Bagdad? You could fit a small car in that hole and that hole and that hole..."
'SSCRRRRAAAAAAAAAPE."
Cel and I grimace and laugh while grimacing as the wrenching full-bodied gouging slowly scrapes by the full-length underbelly of the car. jeebus.
I imagine a hanging crunch of wires and metal hanging off, dragging through the rocky muddy dirt-road. (that wasn't a laser blast, something hit us.)
"F-f-fu-uu-uck-kK!"
"That took a few years of the ol' Corolla."
Finally after a slow and bumpy ride the nature lovin' city slickers get out of the car. The sky darkens as a horde of hungry blood-sucking Mosquitos descend.
"HOLY FUCK! GET BACK IN THE CAR! BACK IN THE CAR!"
slam.
slam.
We look at each other and pause.
"bug spray."
"bug spray."
"Where's that bug spray that's like 95% DEET. We bought it that time we went to Lavers birthday..."
"and you passed out in the car at like 10."
"yeah."
I'm amazed in my panic I could find it. the smell... jeesus it's blinding. I'm sure a cloud of green fumes burst from the car as we wade back into the flying sea of hungry insects. We start down the path swatting ourselves, at the buzzing sounds at our ears and mouths and out of our noses. Fiver doesn't seem to care as he prances around like a fawn.
Stubbornly we head down the path. Cel stops dead in her tracks ahead of me and starts to laugh.
"Is there anyway to get around this?!"
There is about 15 80-ft fir trees uprooted and felled over the path. Utterly impassable. Thanks Juan, again, we love you.
"There's got to be."
We try over, we try under, left, then right with a clouds of bugs trying desperately to get into our mouths.
"Enough!"
"This day is LOST!"
"Fuck this!"
We run for the car spazmatically, screaming, giggling, defeated and drive back to the city.
Today's Song of the Day is "Hell" by The Squirrel Nut Zippers off there 1997 album "Hot."
Crazy Fact: The lead singers Dad was a Baptist Minister.
njoy
5 comments:
i woke up with the most blazing headache and stomach ache from that bug spray. i didn't even know it was in the car but YOU wanted to use it. ugh. those chemicals are EVIL. must buy herbal bug spray asap.
5r had fun swimming in the lake until we were attacked by bugs again, screamed like little girls and ran back to the car.
actually, i've noticed a lot of little boys screaming in the park lately...so i revise my sexist comment.
Berlin, Berlin, when will Madnis shut the fuck up about Berlin?
Anyway, in Berlin, that's here, that's where I am right now... there are no bugs. Okay there aren't many bugs. Not because it's a massive city, because this massive city, baby, is built on a swamp surrounded by lakes and forests.
No, the bugs, instead of feeding, are being fed upon. Spiders like crazy, a whole eco-system of birds that won't shut up... but sound better than screaming girls, boys, or the buzz of insects.
Hey, it's warm enough there to swim? Or are you guys just proving your citizenship?
dennis,
there aren't bugs in halifax either! we drove out into the woods.
it's been pretty warm here.
c
Naja, ich WEIß daß es kein Umgezeifer in Halifax gibt, but what I mean is that this town would be swarming with the little buggers if not for the Spiders. I bet Dartmouth is swarming with them, that's lake town, I mean Halifax lost all the trees and doesn't have much in the way of lakes and ponds for the little annoyances to breed in.
Of course, if we're talking HRM... were you guys still in the Supercity?
Bug Spray is evil. Halifax looks cool from space. Can't see the bugs, but I bet you could find your house!
Only 22 degrees in Berlin. Thunderstorms tomorrow though, jajajaja!
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