The Southlands.

Well everybody get mad at me if you want. You could have any number of reasons, but the best one is yes I have an american boycott and I'm going to Key West for New Year's Eve. So if You e-mailing me and getting no response that's why. Sorry to the all folks who are in town and won't be in town when I get back. Ooops. I got warmth to absorb. And cancer causing rays to avoid.

Se ya'll next year.


Today's Song of the Day is "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding off his 1968 Album "The Dock of the Bay."

Crazy Fact: Redding perished in a plane crash in Wisconsin on December 10, 1967, in an accident that also took the lives of four members from his backup band, the Bar-Kays.

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Buy Everything Day

Christmas means stuff, and lots of it. Here's hoping your got two scoops.


Today's Song of the Day is "It's Oh So Quiet" by Björk off her 1995 album "Post."

Crazy Fact: At the age of 11, her eponymous first album was released; the record contained covers of several pop songs, including the Beatles' "Fool on the Hill," and boasted artwork from her mother and guitar work from her stepfather. Björk became a hit within Iceland and was not released in any other country.

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We Doan Need No Steenkeen' Baadges.

Maybe I'm just getting old but, I'm never taking a shower again.

Well, not untill spring anyway. I got the heaviest case of face dandruff I've ever seen. It was monsterous. Then I had to smear this 'moisterizer' grease all over my face. Have you heard of this stuff? It's awful and smelly and greasy and nasty. Well going without showers means all natural face grease. Two scoops of all natural face grease for me.

Maybe If I stop showering I can sell my face grease and hair grease scrapings at the mall in my very own kiosk. That would be a pretty sweet gig, huh? It would take quite some time to scrape enough to fill a jar though, hmm. I guess I could cut it with margerine or something.

Or I could get a factory of the unwashed to scrape and save there personal grease.

nice.


Today's Song of the Day is "Lonesome Town" by Ricky Nelson off his 1959 Album "Ricky Sings Again."

Crazy Fact: He died (along with his fiancée) in a private plane crash on December 31, 1985, on his way to a New Year's Eve gig in Dallas, at the age of 45.

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I Call This Christmas Vacation at Home

I'm often braver when I sleep. I'm lying in bed half asleep, thinking about my day what I'm going to do what I'm going to say, how this time I'm going to take it all the way. and then when it comes to it, I open my e-mail to say it to them or sit in front of that formidable task, I sit, ready, perched on the edge of action, but my cowardly brain has run elsewhere, to the fridge, to check the mail, to call a friend and finally there rest of me gets up and follows and I seem to follow my brain around like that for the rest of the day.


Today's Song of the Day is "Don't Do It" by The Band off their 1972 album "Rock Of Ages."

Crazy Fact: This is a cover?! I had no idea. It's an old Lamont Dozier/Brian Holland Motown tune, crazy.

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Wake up little piffy.

I hate waking up all disoriented on someones couch (or worse.) You go on with your day but you feel like an alien. I have to go home and sit still and try to pretend I got up there, set centered. it doesn't always work. Like today it no working. I'm an alien, with a headache, reeking up cigarette smoke. Well my stomach an alien alright. It has no idea what to do with me. confused, not quite unhappy, but moody it could be if I don't treat it nice.


Today's Song of the Day is "Give It Away" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers off their 1991 album 'Blood Sugar Sex Magik.'

Crazy Fact: I'm sleepy I don't want to remember a crazy fact. 1991 was a really cool year for music, though.

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We Are In This Together, Enjoy the Ride.

waay back in the sixties when I was a girl things were different we didn't need any of these awful fact-checkers and investigative commitees. People just plain told the truth and when they didn't, well we had the decentcy to believe them anyway. Let's look at this they were important and it would do them an injustice to question or disbelieve a person in authority. Why can't kids today learn that we all in this together. That the truth isn't going to help a damn one of us. There's a madman at the wheel and the engine is on fire. we are losing altitude by the second and diving into stockpile of russian nuclear warheads. Who NEEDS to know this? Just sit in your seat, try to ignore your neighbour, breathe from the mask, turn up the volume on the headphones and pretend like nothings happening, that way we can all die in an orderly fashion without all that unsightly emotion and difficulty.

Ignore that bunch of miscrents up front chanting and picketing by the cockpit, there 'awareness rasing' will just upset your digestion. Don't join there dissentful chorus, no! join the chorus of silent participation. This whole death thing will be pretty quick and painless don't worry, you won't feel a thing. It would be like it didn't even happen, you'll head to those pearly gates eye's closed, utterly unaware, without fear or discomfort. Why would you want to see how it all ends? Utter foolishness. Look this extinction thing has to happen ever couple million years so really it's no big deal. It's natural.


Today's Song of the Day is "Exit Music (For A Film)" by Radiohead off their 1997 album "OK Computer."

Crazy Fact: In 1993, Radiohead toured the U.S. opening for Tears for Fears.

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Die With Your Glasses On.

Well while I'm on the topic, what kind of coward wants to die in their sleep or says 'as long as it's not painful' Don't get me wrong I don't want to die like Braveheart or anything, but without a pot of pain who would you know you were dying? What's that smell? Oh Shit that was the Aroma of Death, shit. Now I'm Dead, Fuck! I miss everything. dammit!

I imagine those last few moments that you KNOW is the last few moments would the most precious. Can you IMAGINE the regrets that would come flooding in? I'm going to die wearing THESE pants or Fuck, I shoulda heaved the diet and had that doughnut this morning or why didn't I go to Paris, I should've forgot about that damn stereo or Paris kinda sucked, I should at least bought a decent stereo or man-o-man I can't BELEIVE I'm going to die with 24 dollars and 30 cents in my bank account, what a waste I could've taken a friend to a movie or SOMETHING.

eye's open baby. And it better be interesting because I've waited and built-up to this moment for my WHOLE life and if I get distracted by the TV or some girls breasts I'll be mad as hell. Make that last ride Loud and Fast and Dangerous with a Big Light show at the end that I keep hearing is 'SOoo GREat' well it better be 'cause it's the last light show I'm ever gonna see and I don't really want my life to be anti-climatic, it would be a lame waste of a perfectly good life and more importantly MINE. And this puppy is pretty important to me.


Today's Song of the Day is "In My Life" by The Beatles off their 1965 album "Rubber Soul."

Crazy Fact: I hope Ringo is the last to go.

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Prince of Pop is Crazy Good.

I was listening to the song a couple days ago and it yet again struck me, wow is this ever a great song. What would the eighties be without prince? It's like a Prince versus Jacko freak-off. Prince is crazy craazy crazzzy and jacko is fuckin' wacked. I think prince keeps his dignity, crazy but reserved, prince is what Jacko wants to be.

anyway dig it, it's fan-fucking-tastic.


Today's Song of the Day is "Little Red Corvette" by Prince off his 1983 album "1999."

Crazy Fact: I don't even know where to start.

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Schools Out

Wow. done. sweet. excellent. finally. jesus.

It's a total flip flop.

I'm finding myself blankly staring at, well, anything with a giant smile on my face, mind a total blank. Yesterday, I found myself staring at an exam, mind a total blank, with a scowl on my face. Nice to be my old self again. I wasn't sure how much farther I could bend without snapping. All is well.

Time to hit the sauce amd get my groove on.


Today's Song of the Day is "Groove is in the Heart" by Deee-Lite off there 1990 album "World Clique."

Crazy Fact:Lady Miss Kier, Super DJ Dmitry and Jungle DJ Towa Towa were joined by the ex-James Brown/ex-Parliment bassist Bootsy Collins for this track. not too crazy but s'all I gots.

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A Brain with No Vacancy.

If I have to cram one more new thing into this brain... The top of my head is going to pop off and it's all going fizz and pop like an agitated beer. see! SEE! I said 'agitated' what happened to my stupid words like 'allshookeyshakey beer' damn scienceses. There smartifying me, hey! that's better. smartifying is good. ok anyway enough already, jesus I can't fill my brain with ANY more new words like 'amphibole' or 'for(int i=0;i=array.length;i++)' or 'eudimonia (er whatever)' we are all full up. No vacancies mister, your going to have to find somewhere else to sleep, somewhere else to sell your goddamned encyclopedia's we are closed for christmas.

I'm just sick of trying to be alone and quiet and stuffing my brain with new shit. It's so unnatural.


Today's Song of the Day is "Tired of Being Alone" by Al Green off his 1971 Album "Gets Next to You."

Crazy Fact: At the height of his popularity, Green's former girlfriend, Mrs. Mary Woodson, broke into his Memphis home in October 1974 and poured boiling grits on the singer as he was bathing, inflicting second-degree burns on his back, stomach and arm; after assaulting Green, she killed herself with his gun. Green interpreted the violent incident as a sign from God that he should enter the ministry. By 1976, he had bought a church in Memphis and had become an ordained pastor of the Full Gospel Tabernacle.

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I'm Glad I'll be Dead 200 Years From Now.

weird song I like it, check it out. It's swingin'

I think it's strange that at one time 'the kids are into swing' means they're going to hell, or playing that D and D, or how Elvis was going to damn their souls, or bebop. To me it sounds like the bad old days of burning witches or walking to school through driving snow or World Wars or plagues wiping out a third of the population of every city in europe, or a fire that burns the whole city down, was hell. You know, shit like that doesn't happen these days. Can you imagine if a plague wiped out a third of the population of New York City or one third of all of North America? Or if there brought back public executions by burning? or The Andrew Sisters and the Mills Brothers. Jumpin' Jesus!

Conservative Dude, you are so wrong. Your world sux. You hold on to your sucky world of sexism and racism, hold you're self-righteousness, ignorance and intollerance as tight as you can as close to your heart as possible. Hold on to it until the very end, 'cause I don't want it, take it to the grave with you and we can bury both your asses at once. Can you imagine what kind of an asshole your great great great great grandfather was? He was from like 1720 or 1790 or someshit and all into slavery, or the monarchy and beating his wife and racism, homophobia and all kinds of crap. Even if he was on the vanguard he was still so waaay backward it would be hard to look him in the eye.

anyway really old dead conservative dude, or not so conservative dude really old dude, you were wrong, the world hasn't gone to hell and kids today wasn't the problem. It was you. We don't burn witches anymore and that's for the best. So I, for one, am glad your dead and not voting anymore. And by the way most of your music stank to high heaven.

The worst part of this is if you disagree with me you're getting old and if you agree with me, you WILL get old and think the worlds going to hell. and worse STILL... so will I. I'll think I was so foolish in my youth and blame kids today, hell, I'm starting.

Oh well life sucks (and you don't know it and then you figure it out) and then you die.


Today's Song of the Day is "(Otto Make That) Riff Staccato" by Duke Ellington released in 1945.

Crazy Fact: Duke, was the son of a White House butler, James Edward Ellington.

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I'm Old Like Cheese, So Are You.

I'm really looking forward to friends coming into town for the holidays. It's a really good time. The older I get the softer and more sentimental I become. I think it's for this reason that old rockers suck so hard. There not stupid enough anymore to write great rock songs like 'Black Dog' or 'Get off my Cloud' or 'My Generation' or 'Highway to Hell' great, but not great literature, I love them more than any of you but they are so loaded with youthful disregard, so self-obsessed and tasteless.

Anyway just like Pete, Mick, Robert, I'm getting old. A part of that means getting sentimental for songs that curtain old roommates drove me crazy with, by playing on repeat every day and singing at the top of her lungs for eight long months, in harmony, only ever in harmony. And then learning on the guitar (or was that your "if you break-up with me I'll kill myself" boyfriend, kids never change) and then having a party and playing it and singing it with TWO people singing the harmony. I would bash my head against the wall just to break up the monotony and kill the memories. And for the next ten years every time I'd hear it I throw my fists in the sky attempting to threaten the entire universe in the biggest 'so sick of that song' gesture any human can possibly express.

Oddly, I've softened up in my old age. Now, just a few years later, I listen to the song think fondly of my mind melting frustration, smile and reflect upon my wild fits of rage. So now that I haven't seen you in exactly one million years hope when I do see you over Christmas you're singing that song, just so I can feel like youthful aggravation, for old times sake.

This one's for you E.V.


Today's Song of the Day is "Closer To Fine" by The Indigo Girls off there 1989 album "Indigo Girls."

Crazy Fact: In addition to her work as part of the Indigo Girls, Amy Ray also set up and presides over Daemon Records, a nonprofit label to nurture new talent with an emphasis on like-minded singer/songwriters.

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The End is Near.

What the HELL? The power company keeps sending ME checks? What the hell is that about? for like 200 hundred bucks? It feels so unatural, I just stare at them, it's like a government check, but aren't I supposed to pay them? it's like you see a ghost or like the river is running backwards. You shake your head, rub your eyes and look again. no it's not a bill. well hell I guess I'm just gonna have to cash it and pay them back later. You KNOW it's a mistake but hell I deserve a christmas check or two, wha? Can you imagine if its legit? I never be able to enjoy it. I'll be eighty and still thinking about this, thinking when are they going to ask for that money back?

Today's Song of the is "The Payback" by James Brown off his 1973 album "The Payback."

Crazy Fact: James Brown lost his son in a fatal automobile accident that June before the release of this album.

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New Interest in Old News.

ok I KNOW friendster is SO 2002 but I want more friends! I filled that thing out Ages ago and forgot about until recently and now I'm getting really obbessive about having more friends. So I want you all to be my friends, Please...

wwww.friendster.com

be my friend.


Today's Song of the Day is "With A Little Help From My Friends" by Joe Cocker off his 1969 album "With A Little Help From My Friends."

Crazy Fact: The orginally started with the name Vance Arnold.

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Freedom.

What really represents the greatness of a government? I think one way to look at it would be the nation whose people have the most freedoms. As long as it does no harm, the greatest nation is one with the greatest of freedoms given to it's people. Canada just made one awesome step in that direction. You can get married now. if you both want to, no matter what. You can also choose not to. It's seems pretty basic. sweet.


Today's Song of the Day is "Overture to "Marriage Of Figaro" performed by The Hamburg Symphony Orchestra, composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in 1786.

Crazy Fact: Mozart died only 3 years after his father.

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Stop the bus.

dude, I can't believe they are poisoning each other in the Ukraine. Did you see the before and after pictures of that guy? Good lord he looks awful. POISON! what the hell? It sounds like a spy novel or a movie not real life. what the hell? People in power will do terrible things to stay in power, that's the beginning and end of it. Like check this out:

"In a famous case, a Bulgarian dissident, Georgi I. Markov, was killed with poison in 1978 by the Bulgarian secret service, apparently to silence his broadcasts on the British Broadcasting Corporation. At a London bus stop, an agent using a spring-loaded umbrella injected into Mr. Markov's leg a platinum pellet that contained a dose of ricin. He died after three days of intense fever and vomiting."

What a way to go. god. This planet sux, lemmie off.

an I'll tell ya, I like the bus less and less all the time.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Great Gig In The Sky" by Pink Floyd off their 1972 album "Dark Side of the Moon."

Crazy Fact: A presidential candate was poisoned. Why bother voting? this is NUTS!

Stop the bus.

dude, I can't believe they are poisoning each other in the Ukraine. Did you see the before and after pictures of that guy? Good lord he looks awful. POISON! what the hell? It sounds like a spy novel or a movie not real life. what the hell? People in power will do terrible things to stay in power, that's the beginning and end of it. Like check this out:

"In a famous case, a Bulgarian dissident, Georgi I. Markov, was killed with poison in 1978 by the Bulgarian secret service, apparently to silence his broadcasts on the British Broadcasting Corporation. At a London bus stop, an agent using a spring-loaded umbrella injected into Mr. Markov's leg a platinum pellet that contained a dose of ricin. He died after three days of intense fever and vomiting."

What a way to go. god. This planet sux, lemmie off.

an I'll tell ya, I like the bus less and less all the time.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Great Gig In The Sky" by Pink Floyd off their 1972 album "Dark Side of the Moon."

Crazy Fact: A presidential candate was poisoned. Why bother voting? this is NUTS!

Ma, I'm Only Sleeping.

Oh sleep, sleep glorious sleep. I'm loving this classess over business. I'm sleeping 12 hours a day and so much happier for it good lord.

Here's a fucked up crazy fact of life. I just found out that a lack of sleep makes you fat. The less sleep you get the more weight you put on. I think sleep is about the healthiest thing going. It's the barometer of your life. It your sleep sucks your life sucks.

OK you know those times those perfect moments when you wake up in silence with a smile on your face, in perfect comfort. No alarm, no panic, no nothing. Your on vaction or something. You open your eyes, smile, close them, sleep. You open them, smile your lazy smile, roll over and there's a severed head! no just kidding. you stretch and flop, you feel so so good you go down stairs and someone asks you "How did you sleep?" and that when you realize that you just had the most restful perfect sleep... maybe ever. It undoes the damage of 100 missed deadlines, 4 traffic accidents, 25 toe stubbings, 2 major romantic dissapoints, 12 cruel remarks from others, and 2 years of people forgetting your birthday. aahh damn... it makes me want to go back to bed.


Today's Song of the Day is "Golden Slumbers" by The Beatles off their 1969 album "Abbey Road."

Crazy fact: Paul McCartney bites, bites, bites.

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Bed is Better.

I heard once that if the first 2.5 hours of the day go well your probably going to say the day went well at the end of the day, whereas if one thing goes wrong in that first 2 hours, you day is for shit. go back to bed and try again. Oh my god I should have gone to bed after the first 15 minutes this morning. fuck.

You know your truly having a bad when you say to yourself well, nothing can make this day any better. Go hide in you room until it passes. There's no hope anymore. when you say well nothing can make it only worse, that's hope. It not true, somthing can ALWAYS make it worse.

Just go back to bed, call in sick, skip your classes, let the kids starve, let the insane run the asylum for just one day, you'll be better off. Take a sedative, escape anyway you can.

I'm going to take this too far I can tell: If I get up and stub my toe. I'll call it a day. If the floor is cold I'll jump back in bed and try again. if the air smells bad, if the suns in your eyes. whatever, you name it.

'Nuke the site from orbit it's the only way to be sure.'


Today's Song of the Day is "Going Down The Road Feeling Bad" by Elizabeth Cotten from her 1958 recordings off "Freight Train & Other North Carolina Folk Songs And Tunes."

Crazy Fact: She was born in 1893. She continued to work as a domestic until she was 70.

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It's My Birthday and I'll Care if I Want To.

I made it to 32. Wow. Who would have thunked it. I'm caring less and less about all 'special' days. Birthday's, Christmas whatever. It's totally losing it's appeal. I'm not sure why. I don't really care about stuff so much, the stuff I've got seems to be doing the job. It a great excuse to hit the town or have a party, but, hell I do that all the time. no biggie.

I'm a young Mr. Scrooge at this point.

That would be really cool. I would totally be a miserable piece of shit for most of my life for the opportunity to meet three spirits and have a huge life altering experience like that. He's lucky, that's what I always thought. I was jealous. He got to travel through time and see himself as young when he was old. That is super fucking cool. I'll save up my whole life for that trip, I guess you have to, that's the point of the story isn't?

But would those spirits be pissed at me when they wake me up.

"I am the spirit of christma-'

"finally! fuck! I didn't know how much longer I could keep this miser shit up. DAMN! ok so here's the schedule I have it all worked out."

"I am the spir-'

'hey shut it, I'm talking. I put a lot of working into this and I'd like to a least look at my plans."

"...I am-"

"Look buster! This isn't about you. ok? It's about me. You do this all the time, not me. For me, this is a very special moment."

"...I-"

"I think it's time we started a dialogue here, ok? Are you LISTENING to me? I'm here too, ok."

"..."

"ok good I think I have your attention. jeeze, were you standing behind the door when they were handing out the sensitivity."

"sorry."

"Can we look at my plans now?"

"...I guess."

"Good. Isn't this better? see? We can put our heads together, empower each other."

"This job, is getting weirder."

"So what? How do you think I feel? I can't believe your saying this to me. I have ghosts trying to scare me into 'the good life.' I'm terrified over here."

"sorry."


Today's Song of the Day is "Highway To Hell" by AC/DC off "Highway To Hell" which was released in 1979.

Crazy Fact: Over-played, I agree. But there will always be something honest in this song that makes it bigger than that. The honesty in this song is that this is the song that killed lead singer Bon Scott. 6 months after it's release Bon Scott's lifeless body was discovered in a car outside a party he had attended. He has drunk himself to death. The party till you die, 'hedonism as damnation' theme he sung about he lived and it killed him. creepy.

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No Comment (for Once)

Hey. my birthday is tomarrow!

(a long very pause)


Today's Song of the Day is "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" by Tom Waits off his 1992 album "Bone Machine."

Crazy Fact: I met his step-daughter at a party. it was weird. she told me he struggled to maintain the old drunk image now that he was rich. It gave him the worry.

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Sex Pistols USA

George bush is like sid vicious. His whole band left him cause he sucked SO HARD. Colon Powel, (definitely Johnny Rotten) John Ashcroft, all those fools, all the brains and talent' left, all we got is an ignorant snearing, junkie bassist, with a weird accident. I can just see Condasleeza Rice with a tonne of make up on as Nancy screaming 'SIIIIID!' like in 'Sid and Nancy.' We are left with a self-destructive moron with enough attitude and ego to sink the whole ship. Unfortunately that's why they like him, his swaggering, uncontrollable ego. The USA is SO punk. Those crazy purtians always keep you guessing don't they.

OK OK Read this and tell me it doesn't describe George Bush perfectly:

"...According to his myth, Vicious' demise was destiny from the start, as he chose the path of destruction and lived it to the hilt, breaking all "the rules" out of total disrespect, destroying himself and everything around him out of frustration with the hollowness of existence... To his peers -- and even his bandmates -- Vicious was something of a sad sack, deficient in both intelligence and common sense, essentially a sweet soul easily led into stupidity and flights of egomania..."

nuff said.


Today's Song of the Day is "My Way" by Sid Vicious of the 1978 album "The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle."

Crazy Fact: At a truck stop on the way to Tulsa, a trucker put a cigarette out on his hand and challenged Vicious to do the same, so Vicious sliced his own hand open and calmly continued eating. crazy.

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