Well, I sent an impulsive, stupid, ill-conceived, fucking self-righteous e-mail to Sarah. She was pissed and rightfully so. I love e-mail. I hate e-mail. It's impossible to pick up tone in an e-mail and all the honest stuff sounded like sarcasm. ugh. Either way, I blew it. It was dumbass.
It was one of those "I never see you"/ "I'm last on your list" sort of things. You know how it is. One of the dumbest parts was the whole 'your dance group is ruining my life" part, ok I'm exaggerating a bit, but that's kinda what it sounded like. ugh. Sarah LOVES her dance group, it was just plain....uuugh. Anyway. We work it out, I assume full dumbassdom and that's that. Even though I'm a dumbass she puts in an extra effort and we have a super retarded good 'us' day the next day. Now, filled to the brim with quality time, I feel like an idiot, though I'm a very happy idiot.
The next day we get up and she decideds to take some overdue alone time. I'm so happy to let her 'cause I'm now feeling stupid and feeling grateful, if I get anymore humble and I might start to cry and turn to mud. She heads off.
I'm sitting there staring at my computer thinking about how lucky I am... I HAVE to do something for her. I've been pretty fucking broke recently and Sarah has been generously footing the bill. I'm such a dickhole, she does so much for me and I'm all... ugh! I can't do any homework. All I can think about is 'since when did I become the kind of person who whines about 'not spending enough time blah blah blah' and doesn't pull there weight and tries to get in between someone and their passions.
I'm the 'rational' guy. The fuckin' mister independent 'let me get the bill' guy. I'm the 'annoyingly hyper-sensitive to the gender division of labour' guy. The fights the fight against any possible or perceived sexism, and yet is seemingly incapable of cooking one damn meal, while my super kick-ass girlfriend cooks them all (and how! I've always been lucky that way, my girlfriends were all wicked cooks.) and I'm a hopeless slob.
Evil Inner Pif pipes up... Hey Pif, what happened to integrity? Remember your rants about integrity, and 'I quit smoking out of blah blah blah.' What self righteous crap-o-la. You are SO full of shit, I can't believe she can't smell you when she walks in the door. Did you fart? No, that smell is coming from your mouth, it's the smell of all the bullshit your spewing forth into the ether, for anyone who'll listen, er smell. 'hey, I'm really interested in what you have to say, but I have to go cause I can't stand the smell!
The bastard is really going, fueled on by 20 mg of methylphenidate. I'm staring at my computer stunned by my own LAMENESS. The tool-o-meter is near peaking in my mind.
"WHO AM I?!"
The phone rings.
Dad: How about we come over with that money we owe you.
Pif: Yo pops, that would be awesome!
Dad: Ok see you soon.
Pif: cool.
Money is an interesting thing. Changes your whole outlook.
"Dude! I can't totally cook her a surprise supper to thank her for being such a kick-ass girlfriend." Good hearted Pif was feverishly digging my self-esteem out of the grave Evil Inner Pif was burying him in, "and I'll give her a little spending cash for her trip to Poland!" (Her Polish dance group is going to Poland to perform.)
Good-hearted Pif is a victorious genius! It's perfect! You got the cooking thing. the surprise thing, the supporting her interests thing, the showing your gratitude thing, the pulling your weight thing, I'll clean up as I go so I got the 'not a slob' thing and she doesn't have to do a thing. awesome. i love it. I can make that really tasty easy fish-thing Anna taught me to make. I'm totally pumped.
What the hell was in that really tasty easy fish-thing taught me to make?
hmm...fuck it. I'll wing it.
(to be continued...)
Today's Song of the Day "Love In Vain" by The Rolling Stones off their 1969 album 'Let It Bleed.'
Crazy Fact: Shortly after he was fired from the group, Brian Jones was found dead in a swimming pool.
njoy
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