Sunday, April 03, 2005

Now With Half the Calories!

Now when it comes to the Pope, I'm not all about the respect. I'm pretty glad he's dead. FINALLY. Hand me the living will I sign it NOW. I hope the Next Pope thinks it's Christian to prevent an entire continent from being wiped out by AIDS. If they cared about African lives as much they care about African souls maybe they'd start handing out condoms instead of condemning them. Perhaps then I could have respect, as it is, they might as be selling Pepsi, the Number on drink of the Afterlife.

I'm keeping my expectations low however. Just look at the track record.


Today's Song of the Day goes out to the Number One Guy in the Sky the Happiest Man to meet his Maker in the last 24 hours, Pope John Paul II, the Song "Better Off Without A Wife" by Tom Waits off his 1975 album "Nighthawks At The Diner."

Crazy Fact: This Crazy Cat was the First non-Italian Pope Ever. Dude! ciao baby!

njoy

6 comments:

Mad'Nis said...

Now. What does the Pope have to do with Karaoke, I humbly ask google?

First non-Italian in 450 years, actually. It was like having a non-american in charge of the World Bank!

Well, I think it's generally not surprising if an 84-year-old dude is a bit old fashioned. Even his Polish brethren were aghast at his stance against abortion and condoms etc.

Even so, quite a wacky life huh? Born in Poland in 1920, a teenager when the Nazis came to town, somehow escaped to take the highest position in Christiandom, lived to see the Cold War end and perhaps even helped it along, and worked a bit to unify all religious freaks who are freaked out about sex... well, unification is a positive step... right??? :-S

But now it's THE CONCLAVE! Nobody over 80 gets to vote! That's descrimination! Hahaha, so out of 200 cardinals, only 110 or so can vote because of this rule. Still, THE CONCLAVE sounds cool. Too bad it's really a bunch of sexually frustrated octogenarians wearing dresses all trying to get to wear the big hat.

1.1 billion Catholics. Ho-Lee-shee-ite.

Anonymous said...

when i re-met pif last year (after 10 years apart), he was suspicious of christers...a little negative and definitely starting to get annoyed.
i am proud to report that after having spent a good part of the last year with me, he is now as anti-christer as they come. i am glad to see that my hatred of almost anything religious, let alone christian, has rubbed off on my friend.
well, that and his new love of dogs. but 5r takes the credit for that.

Anonymous said...

and when neil young has emergency brain surgery, whatever happens to the pope is insignificant.

get better soon neil... can't imagine the world without you making music.

Mad'Nis said...

Ah, the Christers. Well, I think I was part (one small negative influence of many, haha) of the headstart mr P had in the annoyance direction before he met Ms Celery. But I distrust certainty nowadays, I reckon if I'm certain about something it's because I believe a little more than I know. So, while the Christers as a whole must clearly be considered the enemy of all that is thoughtful, just, free and good, I gotta admit there are a couple walking around for whom I have respect regardless of, or perhaps even in spite of, this.

Dogs, I have come to believe, are generally inherently good.

Cats, however, have no regard or interest in human life, are a product of human experimentation, actually poison human environments, and really ought to be exterminated globally. (or perhaps just expelled from peoples' homes)

And seals are very cute, very large rats that just have to be bonked to death in the hundreds once in a while by some of the poorest people who live in one of the richest nations on earth.

That's one of those blood-boiling statements that starts those pointless arguments. Much more effective than my Christian blood-boiler which I'm for some brainwashed reason reluctant to write here...

annabanana said...

yeah, i don't know about the pope being 80 as an excuse for his "old fashioned" stances. he lived through an amazing century.

so did everyone else his age.

he acquired power and did some stuff with it. as the leader of 1.1 billion people, he wielded influence, so of course he did some stuff with it.

but even my staunchly irish catholic grandmother -- who hated and refused to see The Last Temptation of Christ because it insulted her "best friend", jesus -- found a way to be prochoice, and procontraception. (i guess that's what being pregnant 11 times will do for you.)

i don't wish the pope's soul (if he has one) ill, but if, after anubis weighes his heart against a feather, he finds his way into heaven, i don't think a gauntlet of angry, seal-hook wielding women, gay men, and other victims lining his path to the pearly gates would be misplaced.

Mad'Nis said...

Hihi, the idea of such a gauntlet is beautiful! Haha, seal-hook wielding women, that could be a rock band.

Ah, victims. Anyway, I gotta run, Germany is trying to kick me out. The immigration laws here are catching up with Canada, hehe. Woo.