Why the HELL to cats hate water so much? It's madness. If you have seen a wet angry cat then you can appreciate the genius of this:
How To Bathe a Cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any
purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power wash and rinse' which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/about/best/van/238094636.html
I'm getting married in three days. Fortunately it doesn't feel even remotely real yet. Maybe I'm the cat. maybe the toliet bowl is the cemomony but after those three or four flushes I can "rocket out" dry off and I'll be a better cat than I was before I went in.
Today's Song of the Day is "Hang Onto Yourself" by David Bowie off his 1972 album "The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars."
Crazy Fact: In 1977, he helmed Iggy Pop's comeback records The Idiot and Lust for Life, and toured anonymously as Pop's keyboardist.
njoy
13 comments:
and who says romance is dead?
xomo
Cleaning a cat in toilet. That's screwed up. You have far too much time on your hands when you're out of school.
JR
I don't care what anybody says, that's wrong. Damn, Pif! The toilet?
I have to go wash my hands after reading that.
Christ Almighty that's perverted. I'm surprised you didn't brick in the cat's mouth. Then you top it off by comparing the shitter to your wedding ceremony. I'll let you choose which arm I'm going to bruise tomorrow night.
P.S. I'm glad Sarah quit smoking without forsaking her true nature of being smoking. She'll have a high trade in value if the whole marriage thing doesn't pan out.
Three words regarding cats:
Bag. Rock. River.
Honestly, so much trouble for a conspiracist against your health. Just kill it. Eat it if you want it to be part of you. In which case I recommend boiling. And remove the skin first, really, all that fur in your teeth is a freaking catastrophe. I mean, floss can get it out but it gets it back in as well. If you're not careful.
Alle Katzen müssen sterben!
Okay, I'm pro Lion, Cheetah, Leapoard, all the non domesticated cats can live on and prey on man in the honest way, with tooth and claw. These hair-shedding disease-ridden half-rodent cousins of real cats need to be forcefully brought under control. Yeah yeah baby, struggling burlap bags under a raging river is what I'm talking about.
you know, one of the justifications for better animal cruelty laws is that cruelty to animals is a good indicator of future crimes against people. Dennis, obviously. But Pif? Quelle Suprise!?!
hey, I hear unrine is good for a cat's fur--why don't you strap it to the bed and soak it in your piss? Hey, maybe you can turn that into a wedding analogy, too.
(I've got dibs on bruising the arm that Brian doesn't choose)
get a dog.
Why would you get a dog to wash a cat? That's just dumb.
all over now - band aid off fast! beautiful wedding, pif.
hahaha, brian.
xomo
And so I put to you, sir:
What is it about getting married which seems to dampen the enthusiasm for blogging, hmm?
I refuse to make a blog entry on this subject, it's just that I feel it as well... something about wanting to take life more seriously maybe... (even though we don't...?)
Or is it just that we're both changed over to this f#$king google system and it's such a pain in the ass to log in now that we don't bother? I had forgotten until I tried to comment just now.
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