unscrewed up

I don't think there is anybody out there who doesn't appreciate a reduction in tension. But I gotta say it makes me feel alot better about the world. Here's to the re-friendification of important people in my life.


Today's Song of the Day is "Just Friends" by Charlie Parker & Mitch Miller off his 1949 album "Bird with Strings."

Crazy Fact: At the time of his death in March 1955 at the age of 34 as a result of his drug and alchohol abuses. Also as a result of those excesses the doctor who pronounced him dead thought he was in his 60s.

njoy

The Stamp Collector in me.

It makes me crazy for Detailed MP3s and it makes me buy DVDs. But I had a very disappointing experience in the DVD catagory the other day. I went to this HD trailer site. and was shocked by the high quality of the the next generation DVDs which are right around the corner. I'm not sure if it was the Harry Potter trailer or the trailer for King Kong but while i'm jaw was open I realized that I would be forced to buy many of my favorite DVDs again. yet again. The quality was and is astounding. Look for yourself. DVDs have been dropping in price like crazy and this is why. I am such a sucker for their money sucking game.


Today's Song of the Day is "Rasputin" by Boney M off their 1978 album "Nightflight to Venus."

Crazy fact: German producer Frank Farian who created Boney M, went on to create the late-'80s dance sensation Milli Vanilli.

njoy

pod people

I made my girlfriend into a pod person. Now it ain't no superball, but it's got her pretty damn happy. She's stopped taking cabs because of it. She can't wait to plug-in the ear-buds and walk around. I think she really wouldn't care if it was around in circles. I made one more smiling cog in the machine. And she looks at me protective and suspcious when she thinks I'm going to intrude on her quality time with her iPod. She's gone over to the other side. Someday she's going to look at me oddly, open her mouth wide and that awful high-pitched squealing is going to come out. Then you'll see me, ear-buds 'n' all, plugged in to the machine smiling. (sigh) I can't wait.


Today's Song of the Day is "Chevrolet" by Jim Kweskin & the Jug Band off there 1967 album "See Reverse Side for Title."

Crazy Fact: Shortly after the Kweskin Jug Band performed on the nationally aired Steve Allen Show, on March 4, 1964, Lymon left the band to start a cult (and has since dissappeared) and was replaced by banjo wiz Bill Keith, who had just left a gig with Bill Monroe's Bluegrass Boys.

njoy

The richest guy I've never heard of

Warren E. Buffett, CEO & Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. owns 38% of Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. Berkshire closed today at $89,700. (!!!) Look at these SEC filings:

Cash and cash equivalents at June 30, 2005: $43.3 billion USD
Equity investments at June 30, 2005: $41.3 billion USD
Total shareholders’ equity at the June 30, 2005: $88.1 billion USD
Revenue for 2004: $74.4 billion USD
Net earnings for 2004: $7.3 billion USD
Income taxes paid in 2004: $3.6 billion USD

This is the guy whose controlling the universe. Anyway, I was just going to rant about Google being worth more than Coca-Cola and worth more than the combined value of McDonald's, Du Pont and Anheuser-Busch. And Google doesn't even make anything! They're worth 119 billion for selling directions for free.

brains' full... stopping. money has hurt it.


Today's Song of the Day is "Nebraska" by Bruce Springsteen off his 1982 album "Nebraska."

Crazy Fact: Berkshire Hathaway, Inc. is based out of Nebraska.

njoy

Have you seen my 17 incher?

I got a new computer. It is the best thing ever. Materialism still has a grip on me in two big-assed ways they are: DVDs and Computers. All of the rest of the things I care about are people or ideas. but wow do I love this computer. it's white an's got a camera built-in an'a flat screen monitor built-in and a really cool mouse an' it's got a 64-bit processor an 64-bit memory an' lots of graphics memory an it sounds great an looks great an I like it an the newest EVERYTHING built-in an' the all the keys on the keyboard works watch... 77777&&&&&&77777444555666 WOW do you have any Idea what a pain in the ass THAT was on my old bustedass not as cool as my new shiney white fancy new has a remote control computer is?

17 inches of happiness, I'm totally gay for my computer. I don't blame Sarah for being jealous. I just hope, with time, the two of you can get along. (actually she totally loves it... most of the time.)


Today's Song of the Day is "(She's) Sexy & 17" by the Stray Cats off their 1983 album "Rant n' Rave With the Stray Cats."
Crazt Fact: Brian Setzer was also the concert guitarist for the Honeydrippers.

njoy

Crank up the Techno! (...logy)

It's like a Model T Ford computer. Old tech meets new tech crazyiness. Dig it:

CAMBRIDGE, Mass., Nov. 15 -- A riddle: What has the durability of a sneaker, the smarts of a computer, the color scheme of a lunchbox and the potential to alter almost everything about the way schoolchildren in the developing world learn?

The answer: well, nothing yet.

But now, scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology say they're close to creating a device that would fulfill this ambitious vision -- a tough, kid-friendly laptop that could be sold to poor countries for $100.

A prototype of this computer will be unveiled Wednesday at a U.N. conference in Tunisia. Its designers concede that the prototype is still missing some crucial features, such as a cheap display screen and a hand crank that would provide power.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/15/AR2005111501546.html?nav=rss_print/asection

What's not to like here? You got your third world children (an old christian favorite) you got your MIT super geniuses bringing the almighty savior the internet to the poor savages and all at a very affordable price. (because it wouldn't be right makeing money off the poor, pfft...) Not only that, but you have the goofey 'hand-crank' trivia/irony angle to play-up for audiences left numb by twenty years of feeding Ethopian kid with flies on their faces and big bellies on infomericals.

Not only that but you got your Open-Source/not for profit angle for suckers like me. But at the end of the day My selfish little self thinks: "I KNEW IT!" those fuckers can make a laptop for a hundred BUCKS! and us loser westerners are paying THOUSANDS! fer FUCK sake!


Song of the Day is "Bang On!" by Propellerheads off their 1998 album "Decksandrumsandrockandroll."

Crazy Fact: Keyboardist/bassist/DJ Alex Gifford began his career as a studio musician, playing keyboards for Van Morrison and saxophone for the Stranglers.

njoy

I'm going to try to be better.

When I first saw iTunes my jaw dropped and still hasn't closed all the way.

I LOVE iTunes it's in my top five obsessions. I discovered Napster AFTER iTunes. I discovered all this business AFTER iTunes. Clearly, I love it and I'm Obsessed. My jaw dropped yet again.

The First time my jaw dropped was when I put in a CD and iTunes went on the Interweb, got all the track info, ripped it to MP3s then Ejected it while waiting for another. My Tongue went all dry and nasty as I couldn't close my mouth because all available energy was redirected to feeding that monster CDs and watching my collection grow and grow and grow. I think it's took me about Six months to get over that.

The Second time my jaw dropped was when I discovered you could store the album art and composer in the MP3 file. I spent many many moons seaching out covers and composers for every song I had. I'm still doing that. (if anyone can find the original cover or release date of 'The Russians are Coming (Take 5)' by Val Bennet, that would be awesome OR a decent cover for Blue Swede's 'Hooked on a Feelin'' OR for 'Shop Around' by The Miracles. anyway...)

The Third time my jaw dropped was just yesterday, when I discovered that with the right tweeks the newest iTunes will go on the internet and upload the Lyrics of the song your listening to and imbed them in the file.

I am such a stamp collector right now you have NO idea.

Ok I have to GOT study now.

(needless to say that from this point on all MP3s I send out will include the Lyrics as Well as the Album Art. DUDE! I Can't control myself...


Today's Song of the Day is "Maps" off their 2003 debut album "Fever to Tell."

Crazy Fact: Within a year of forming they went on tour supporting The White Stripes and The Strokes.

njoy

Kanas visits the Land of Oz

From today's New York Times:

"...In the statement, as well as in letters to the state board, the groups opposed the standards for singling out evolution as a controversial theory, and also for changing the definition of science itself so that it is not restricted to natural phenomena.

A third organization, the American Association for the Advancement of Science, echoed those concerns in a news release supporting the copyright denial, saying: "Students are ill-served by any effort in science classrooms to blur the distinction between science and other ways of knowing, including those concerned with the supernatural." "

wow. They are changing the definition of science to include God. Jesus, Mary 'n' Joseph !

I'm going back into my hole now.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Scientist" by Coldplay of their 2002 album "A Rush Of Blood To The Head."

Crazy Fact: I heard they're teaching Harry Potter in History, too.

njoy

goofing off

I don't want to work anymore so I'll send a song. I don't think I have anything to say. I'm drinking a beer and trying not to do my most assignment for software development (programming in C.) So far I'm doing a pretty good job.

The fucking mice are driving me crazy. There must be a thousand up there. They are stupid too. and the live in the stove. every time I catch one I see them (which isn't hard) they run into the stove. GROSS. I'm worried about turning it on I don't want to hear squeals and smell burnt hair. eww.


Today's Song of the Day is "Troy" by Sinéad O'Connor off her 1987 debut album "The Lion And The Cobra."

Crazy Fact: She was booed off stage at a Bob Dylan tribute concert at New York's Madison Square Garden because two weeks before she ended her performance on Saturday Night Live by ripping up a photo of Pope John Paul II.

njoy

School is no fun.

I am having no fun. maybe I'll so up in my own version of The Shining.


Today's Song of the Day is "No Fun" by The Stooges off there 1969 album "The Stooges."

Crazy Fact: Iggy Pop formed the Stooges in 1967 after witnessing a Doors concert in Chicago.

njoy

From the bottom of a very deep hole.

Hello strangers, I figured I'd just stop a write something. Now is as bad a time as any, so whatever.

I'm not sure you all want to hear me complain about how busy I am so I'll stowe it, but understand this is, and was, and will remain, the reason for my rare and irregular postings.

only vaguely more interesting is my new clear understanding of the difference between learning artsy stuff and learning mathy stuff. At first it seems like Arts is just thinking and Math is just doing.

When I was studying arts I was studing communication and it's meaning.

My tasks were three: 1) Observe; 2) Interprete; 3) Express.

In that order. Each dependant on the other. The sum of this exercise, the result of my efforts, was always limited by the weakest link in this chain.

In practice I was reading, watching or listening, then thinking about what it means then, it's context (then repeat until totally navel gazing) then forming opinions and proving arguements. Interpreting a message, searching for meanings in that message.

All very cerebral and a grade was based on my arguement; the strength of my connections, distinctions and conclusions or in other words the clarity in which I expressed my interpretations and their conclusions, based on my original observations.

In Math (and I've come to realize computer science is just math), you observe, it all makes perfect sense you go home and try to do it and realize you know nothing. It's do as I do. I think you all know it as that. It's true but that's just the beginning. Most of us get stuck at the begginning and just stop. frustrated. I think that is partially due to the way it's taught and partially due to the fact that we don't need to speak in Math very often.

I think really it's just the early stages of learning a language. The language is very percise, but just a language, so once you understand it, speaking it is just as fluid, with experience just as intuitive and much more expressive than I expected.

Math gets a bad because it's starting right at the beginning again. We had so much time to learn the basics of speech, not only that but we walk out into the world and all sorts of people help you practice and teach you new words and tricks everyday. Not so much with Math.

OK. I got to get back to doing as they do.


Today's Song of the Day is "Lyric Fathom" by Blackalicious off the 2000 album "Solesides Greatest Bumps."

Crazy Fact: Gift of Gab (Timothy Parker) and Chief Xcel (Xavier Mosley) first met in Sacramento, CA, in 1987 when they were students at John F. Kennedy High School, but never worked together untill 1992.

njoy

fuck the bank

So friday morning I get up and expect a big fat student loan in my poor little bank account. Instead I find out that I have no bank account. They closed it. On TWO weeks notice and 15 dollars overdraft they closed it. Now my loan sit in bank/goverment limbo. It could be stuck in that molassas for months.

I hate banks. hateses them. tricksie false, lying cheating stealing little bankseses.

This is the last day in Classical week.


Today's Song of the Day is "Symphony No. 6: I. Allegro ma non troppo" performed by Herbert Von Karajan & The Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, composed in 1808 by Ludwig van Beethoven.

Crazy Fact: Beethoven moved to Vienna in 1792 (a year after Mozarts' death) to study with Haydn and was subsequentially taught by Antonio Salieri (yeah that guy who admitted to fatally poisoning Mozart.)

njoy

I think about you therefore I am not.

I am so busy I am doubting my own existence. Without all this time for navel gazing I don't even know who i am.

Today's Song of the Day is "Prelude No. 5 in D Major" composed by Johann Sebastian Bach in 1744, performed by Glenn Gould, from The Well Tempered Clavier.

Crazy Fact: When dude married Anna Magdalena Wilcke, sixteen years his junior, on 3 December 1721, four barrels and thirty-two carafes of wine - almost a hundred litres - were consumed at the wedding. DUDE!

njoy

Green blooded ALIEN!

Ah bones. I loved that guy. he represented all that was human.

You had Spock on one side.
Bones on the other.
and Kirk in the middle.

I wonder who I want to be? If I had to choose.

Kirk is the guy everything happens too and the guy who make the decisions.

Spock is logic without emotion. Just truth, no lying, no pussy-footing, no buffers, pure reality unfiltered.

Bones is all emotion and gut. He shoots from the hip and gets passionate about it. "Goddammit Jim! I'm a doctor!" and Bones has a serious dislike for Spock. If it was logical Spock would have a dislike for Bones and that drives Bones crazy.

I always thought I wanted to be Spock and tried. He was always so collected, controlled and truthful. More recently I fought that and wanted to be Bones, passionate, sensitive and intuitive. I think I never really tried to be Kirk, all action, leadership and Will.

Hamlet had a problem getting into Kirk's shoes too. Hmmm...

Today's Song of the Day is "Concerto a 4 RV 151 "Alle rustica" in G major: 2. Adagio" performed by Herbert Von Karajan & The Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, composed by Antonio Vivaldi in 1729.

Crazy Fact: Antonio Vivaldi once boasted that he could compose a concerto faster than a copyist could ready the individual parts for the players in the orchestra.

njoy

Copyright is Unethical (Part 5)

I think copyright should be abandoned. Yes, totally abandoned. This is another reason why:

As it stands the world in general has set a arbitrary limit of 70 years after the death of the author on all copyrights. So 70 years after the death of the author all their works go into the Public Domian.

This copyright was extended in 1978 to 70 from 28 years (with a possible renewal of 20 years) What is preventing law makers from extending that copyright again? I can see a lobby group with client list as rich as they come (Sony, Universal, Disney, AOL-Time-Warner, Microsoft, Apple, publishers...) attempting to extend copyright as long as possible. It's in the interest of the copyright holders, they're simply protecting their investments.

So what? So they own it forever, Big deal. Who cares if 'Mickey Mouse' is never Public Domian? or 'Terminator 2'? or 'The Divinci Code'?

Not many people.

Maybe if people looked at a copyright as a Monopoly with a expiry date. Remove the expiry date and you just have a monopoly. What if that person owned a lot of copyrights. What if a company collected a fifth of the rights to all music published since 1923. How come they get to control what I hear, when I hear it and how much it costs? What if they don't want to publish what I want to hear?

Where's my freedom? Where's my choice? Who are these people choosing from what I can choose from? What happened to Porky Pig?


Today's Song of the Day is "Swan Lake, Act II: iv. Allegro moderato" composed by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky in 1876 and performed by Richard Bonynge and The National Philharmonic Orchestra.

Crazy Fact: In July 1877, Tchaikovsky, despite his homosexuality, foolishly married Antonina Ivanovna Milyukova, an obsessed admirer, their disastrous union lasting just months. The composer attempted suicide in the midst of this episode.

njoy

Be at peace, with the terminal.

I really want to know why this happens.

blk-99-217-105:~ pifedwards$ gcc -g as0.c
blk-99-217-105:~ pifedwards$ a.out
-bash: a.out: command not found
blk-99-217-105:~ pifedwards$ ./a.out A B C D E F GO FUCK YOUR SELF
Passed: 2 Valid: 5 Highest: A

I want to know why 'a.out' doesn't work but './a.out' does. I might as well be talking to the toliet because I'm sure no one reading this can tell me why.



Today's Song of the Day is "Spiritus Domini" by The Benedictine Monks of Santo Domingo De Silos off thier 1994 Album "Canto" the composer is unknown but it was composed around 1000 A.D.

Crazy Fact: In 1994 for seemingly no reason this little album went to numbr 5 in the US.

njoy

Horowitz was such a sweetheart

This album breaks my heart.

anyway... I've decided I haven't sent enough classical. That makes it classical shit week for a while. So here.

Today's Song of the Day is "Prelude for piano No.16 in G major, Op. 32/5" Performed by Vladimir Horowitz, recorded in 1986, off his 1988 album "Horowitz in Moscow" composed by Sergei Rachmaninov in 1903.

Crazy Fact: This album won a Grammy in 1988.

njoy

Satan Doesn't Notice Me.

Thinking your behind the eight-ball is scaryer than actually being behind said ball.

I was in a panic when I realized I missed a day of courses. I'll NEVER catch up. NEVER! I'm FUCKING-FUCKED! It was with this ego-melting panic I walked into my Discrete Math class today. I sat waiting, silently doubting. Throat tightening, I sat, as fear crawled over my self-worth and began to consume it like swarm of methodical army ants eating a stinky rotten cheese version of me. I didn't have the right Edition of the Text, I missed the first class, I haven't completed Calculas yet... i'm FUCKED FUCKEDFUCKEDFUCKED. I tried not to show fear in front of the other, more deserving students. The shame of it began to work at me from the inside. I was moments away from puking, the stress of it has risen my guts up to the back of my throat.

By this point the entrance to the professor is akin to Lucifer himself entering the room and with an uncompromising vengence and hatred, flaying off my skin while he and the other students laughed at my tears, shame and plea's for forgiveness. I'm sure I can smell the sulfur. Now clearly I can hear his menacing hoofs march toward the classroom of my doom. The heat of hottest Hell comes for me, my fearful sweating is sloppy and uncontrollable.

The professor comes in. I know this isn't Satan because clearly this man has never been laid. Not to mention, the Dark One would never take the form of Martin Short and this human is a dead-ringer for Martin Short. Martin Short really took the bite out of my fear. The irrational fear really subsided when he reviewed what he did last class, which was nothing. And as far as my self-worth is concerned, well the those army ants had to put that stinky cheese me back together when I realized how easy it was. And I'll tell you a few dumb-ass questions from my 'peers' peppered through-out the hour and a half class made my future in this course much more appetizing.

Thank Jesus, Mary 'n' Joseph for dumb-ass students in my hour of need. They will never fail. And the universe keeps churning them out, ever-distancing me (and you) from that ego-melting bottom rung. Oh students, usually you have not but my ire, but today, feast upon my gratitude little ones!


Today's Song of the Day is "Kissing a Fool " by George Micheal off his 1987 album "Faith."

Crazy Fact: His real name is Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou. wow.

njoy

Nobody Home.

You know what's a shitty feeling?

When your walking home, thinking about all the things your going to tell the people or person you live with when you get home. Then when you get home there is no one there.

Hey Baby, I Luuuuuuv you!
You know what HAPPended!?
...
hello...?
...
baby..?
...
oh.

Never for a moment did you expect the house to be empty. It's all my own fault I don't know why I thought she'd be home. no ones' fault jus'a crappy feeling. hrrumph.


Today's Song of the Day is "Homeward Bound" by Simon & Garfunkel off their 1966 Album "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme."

Crazy Fact: After recording their first album in 1964, Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M. they broke up and Paul Simon moved to England.

njoy

Let Your Student Flag Fly

Saturday 11:00 AM I'm walking to Sobey's to get some groceries. There is a guy in a bowler hat (I have no idea if that is how it's spelleded) a t-shirt and underwear tip toeing around on the sidewalk if front of a naked guy kinda wrapped in a blanket giggling out of control on their front step. Oh look students still on acid from the night before. It must be September in Halifax.


Today's Song of the Day is "If 6 was 9" by Jimi Hendrix off his 1967 album "Axis: Bold as Love."

Crazy Fact: During the early and mid-'60s, he worked with such R&B/soul greats as Little Richard, the Isley Brothers, and King Curtis as a backup guitarist.

njoy

cop-o-tastic

Walking to school there was a Motorcycle Cop pulling over a cyclist for not wearing a helmet, while he is doing that he is yells at another to pull over and put on a helmet. He was a busy guy 'cause in the time it took me to walk down the street to my class I saw him stop 4 people. All cyclists for no helmets. I feel safer. Thank you officer. When I get shot again, two blocks from my house in the north-end, I'll remember the comfort you gave me in South-end and die with a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my belly.


Today's Song of the Day is "Spirits in the Material World" by The Police off their 1981 album "Ghost in the Machine."

Crazy Fact: I think Stink and McCartney are the same person.

njoy

Times of Yore

Bongos?! Do I hear BONGos?!

As if there weren't enough tell-tale signs the students are back I have a Frontstep bongo playing hippie house across the Street. Not only do I have to go to School with them But I Also Have to live across from them. This is not Montreal I do Not live on a mountain. please please please stop. And take the Lute and Nose-whistle musicians with you.


Today's Song of the Day is "La Mi La Sol" performed by Convivium Musicum, Ensemble Villanella and Sven Berger, off the 1992 album "Tugend Und Untugend, German Secular Music From The Time Of Luther" which was originally composed by Heinrich Isaac in 1498.

Crazy Fact: Heinrich Isaac was known to have been in Florence in the service of Lorenzo the Magnificent, a member of the powerful ruling Medici family. HAHAHAHA Lorenzo the Magnificent! "Tonight at the Ramada Inn, the Magical illusions of Lorenzo the Magnificent!" It makes Pif the Mighty sound like Poetry! I guess I was born 500 Years too late.

njoy

good day

I love those good days that sneak up on you. You sleep in. You have tea and yak for a bit, get the house cleaned up and check the mail you chat and act stupid, have some afternoon sex then head out to get stuff done and actually get it all done then sit on a patio, enjoy the weather and have more good chat walk home chat 'n' yak more, eat in, and kinda fall asleep watching a movie.

A nothing special, but totally awesome. No need to win the lottery to have a good day. A good day is a day that goes at your pace. A day without a slave driver, that slave driver is usually myself, giving a shit about something that doesn't fucking matter. so fuck it, take you time and have a good day. "He who rushes, has only to wait for himself to catch up." That's probably as much an Ancient chinese proverb as "He who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with stinky finger."


Today's Song of the Day is "good feeling" by the violent femmes off their 1982 debut "violent femmes."

Crazy Fact: Bassist Brian Ritchie originated the band's oxymoronic name, adopting the word "femme" from the Milwaukee area's slang for wimps.

njoy

ACME Instant Conversation

I have something to say to people I didn't have anything to say before. Sarah pointed this out. Does this look familiar?

A: Hey.
B: Hey.
A: What's new?
B: Not much.
C: Hey.
A: HEY!
B: hey...
C: I didn't know you guys knew each other.
A: Yeah.
B: Small town.
C: sure is.
B: yup that is it.
A: very small
B: 'cause I didn't know YOU guys...
C: yeah well, you know..
B: Pfft... yeah I know alright.
A: good good

At this point most of your brain has falls away into an ocean of boredom and there exists only in a storm of aborted exit strategies. BUT Now that I'm getting married I can say,

A: "We're getting MARRIED!"
B: "REALLY?!
A: Yes sir!
B: "Wow cool! I just got back from a wedding.
A: Really! where?
B: actually they did it in the Oxford Theatre
A: FUCK that's Cool!
B: Yeah they photoshoped all there childhood photos together like they've always been together in the slideshow thing.
A: COOL.
B: very.

or

A: We're getting married!
B: really... I just did.
A: WOW! How was it.
B: Elope. just elope.
A: Eeek!

It's Crazy. I have so many aquaintences and it's Instant Conversation (with Real Cheese in the Mix) I love it. and still it's a blast seeing everyones faces. It really is an honest moment. The masks just fall away when they find out. It's great.


Today's Song of the Day is "New York Telephone Conversation" by Lou Reed off his 1972 album "Transformer."

Crazy Fact: In 1974 he decided to play up to the cartoon junkie role that some in his audience seemed eager to assign to him. On-stage, that meant shocking bleached hair, painted fingernails, and simulated drug injections. CRAZY!

njoy

Telling the Folks

I'm not sure what I'm more worried about her parents or mine. I think they are totally different kinds of ill-at-ease. I think they are all going to accept us, and be happy about it, but still. I guess I'm worried about to what degree. And the difference between the parents is who. Her's accept me. Mine accept her.

Sarah's Parents all guessed, I guess that's a good sign. I don't think mine have guessed, but they've been bugging me for months about it, "So do you have any news? he he he."

Anyway... I think the thing that's freaked me out the most so far is Sarah's Sister saying "Well, he's family now." in a matter of fact sort of way. eek.

Anyway in that same 'break a leg' kind of thinking, the 'say the worst then it not going to happen' sorta voodoo. I'll send out this song. Which is Funny as hell by the way.


Today's Song of the Day is "No Children" by The Mountain Goats off their 2002 album "Tallahasse."

Crazy Fact: Most of the songs recorded by the Mountain Goats are recorded (by choice) on a department-store boom box.

njoy

Telling People.

It was weird I felt strangely reluctant to tell Caleb that I was getting married. It was a goodbye party for him and Mara, because now back for 10 hours from their honeymoon they are driving to Vancouver to start a new life. Caleb got into Law school at UBC so that was that and off they go. Graduated, married, accepted and across the country he goes. Anyway... I was strangley relucant to tell him. I think it was 'cause he was surrounded by people but I knew it was my only chance 'cause I knew I had to do it in person. It's oddly embarrasing or something. Me and Sarah sat there periodically looking at each other with strange looks of "now?" and "Whadayathink?" and "I don't know" and "This is weird."

Anyway it's weird. I kind feel like it's none of their business. With every person I tell it changes our relationship at bit. I'm not sure how. Every reaction has an impact. Each one is slightly different, I'm very sensitive to each one and each one stays with me. They are all quite earnest and honest and different and complex. It's a little overwhelming and anti-climatic at the same time. Each time it's not what I expect. Anyway... that's my rant on the subject for now.


Today's Song of the Day is "Shake Your Rump" by the Beastie Boys off their 1989 album "Paul's Boutique"

Crazy Fact: This album was made right after their messy, litigious departure from Def Jam and their flight from their beloved New York to Los Angeles.

njoy

Going to the Chapel (or something)

Sarah asked me to Marry her 5 times.

I said yes everytime but I said I needed a ring four of those times. Does that make me a princess? I believe I'm capable of being a princess, but I still don't think it makes me a princess, this time.

I have a ring so we are getting married.

(sigh)

ok that's big news so that's all for today.


Today's Song of the Day is "I Will" by The Beatles off their 1968 album" White Album."

Crazy Fact: Before the Beatles, Ringo Starr drummed for a Band called Rory Storm & the Hurricanes.

njoy

No Flyers Please

New and evermore irritating ways of spamming are invented every damn day. I've bee getting strange and annoying spam in my comments recently. It's fucking annoying.

Spam is like flyers sent directly into my brain. I have to read just enough to understand it's spam, just enough to know what the hell penis enlargement pill or "super secret" stock tip or way to save on gas they're offering. Just long enough to piss me off.

"Listen up you bite-hole spammer, you are a fucking discomfort that is most noticable when I should be most fucking comfortable!"

"and if you do not listen, then to Hell with you!" -Conan the Barbarian (talking to Crom)


Today's Song of the Day is "Summertime Rolls" by Jane's Addiction off their 1988 album "Nothing's Shocking."

Crazy Fact: In the 1997 Jane's Addiction reunion tour Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea played bass.

njoy

Ass-Neck Key to Universal Understanding.

My neck hurts like fucking CRAZY. It's an extremely frustrating sort of pain because it was pretty much non-existent all day until went home. Now it only hurts when I put my head down. That's totally unfair. When you feel shitty the one thing the universe should allow you to do is lay the fuck down. This dirty universe is out to get me today. This universe is a real pain in the neck. I guess that's why they call it a pain in the neck 'cause you can't lie down... I guess the same goes for a pain in the ass, because you can't sit down. So instead of saying,

"Buddy your a fucking pain in the fucking ass!"

I should say,

"Buddy your like a fucking discomfort that is most noticable when I should be most fucking comfortable!"

Hey that works. The universe make more sense today than yesterday! AWESOME! oh I get it, nice, so now i'm supposed to thank the universe for this pain in my neck for the greater understanding it's provided me. bullshit. Fuck you universe! I want to lie down you asshole.

And you! Conscience, I got a thing or two to say to you when I'm through with the universe over here so SHUT IT! and don't be so fucking TOUCHY. Fuck! I'm surrounded by ASSHOLES! and my NECK hurts! AAARG!


Today's Song of the Day is "You Might Think" by The Cars off there 1984 album "Heartbeat City."

Crazy Fact: They are from Boston. not crazy... the nickname of the producer of this album is "Mutt."

njoy

New Blogger

My friend Celery (yes I AM in a weird name club) has just started a blog. Here's the link:

http://somegetstrange.blogspot.com/

Everybodies bloggin' baby. get on it! Stare deep into that navel of yours and tell the WORLD what you see. You'll never look back, actually you'll never look away. The level of self-involvement sky rockets after the first two weeks. One you get over the reality of what your doing, you start to believe people are actually reading what you have to say. Once that happens you start to believe people actually CARE what you have to say. Then it's over your navel become a gate way to the mysteries of the universe.

That's how it begins.


Today's Song of the Day is "Hang Onto Yourself" by David Bowie off his 1972 album "The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars."

Crazy Fact: In 2002 Lightfoot suffered a near-fatal abdominal hemorrhage while performing in his hometown of Orillia, Ontario, causing him to cancel his fall tour and putting him in a coma.

njoy

Copyright is Unethical. (Part 1)

I think copyright should be abandoned.

Yes, totally abandoned.

I publish this blog for free. You read it for free. I want to write it, you want to read it. All free. So I'm no hypocrite on the subject. And doods... it takes a chunk of time, let me tell you. But I want to. I'm not motivated to write for profit. Where expression is concerned, 'the profit motive' is an impediment, and it simply doesn't belong.

Music and 'art' motivated by profit fucking sucks, it's bad art. Brittany Spears is BAD music. An inspired musician/writer/painter would do it where they were paid or not. It seems to me that an individual who has something to express, fights for the freedom to do so. They fight for an audience, they just want to be heard. They need to express something and they need it to be heard.

Not to mention 99.991% of musicians make their bread through performance, not through record sales. Ask any local musician. Look at a Symphony. All the music they perform is Public Domain. For the most part they aren't rolling in bills, but hey, neither am I, neither are you. Those at the very top are a little over paid anyway.

End of my first point.


Today's Song of the Day is "Radio Free Europe" by R.E.M. off their 1983 album "Murmur."

Crazy Fact: Michael Stipe frequented the Wuxtry record store where Peter Buck was a clerk. Buck had been a fanatical record collector, consuming everything from classic rock to punk and free jazz, and was just beginning to learn how to play guitar. Discovering they had similar tastes, Buck and Stipe began working together.

njoy

Cast and Crew

My last few posts were about Caleb's wedding. There are some shots on my site from the wedding if you want to check them out do it.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pif/

I personally like to put face to names and whatnot. Andnot to mention. ok ok to mention, 'cause I'm totally mentioning it right now... if your interested enough in my life to read my blog it's your duty to see what the hell these people look like. DUTY I tell you DUTY! The problem with you kids today is you know nothing of duty, like to one's parents and the Crown and to Patriarchy and to Jesus. No respect for tradition I tell you none what-so-ever. Sinful. Simply sinful.


Today's Song of the Day is "Hound Dog" by Big Mama Thornton, released as a single in 1953.

Crazy Fact: Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton dressed like a man and took no guff from anyone, except maybe Elvis. She recorded "Hound Dog" in 1953 and it held down the top slot on Billboard's R&B charts for seven long weeks. Then Elvis covered it.

njoy

Penetrating Stare (Part Two)

(Continued...)

Many moons ago I was in The Marquee Club talking to her. She was drunk, I was drinking. She went to get another drink and two other younger/cuter/thinner girls come over and talk to me. I was having a good night. When our she returned with another drink she tried to muscle back into position. I must say I kind of liked watching them vie for position. Finally, one of the other girls looked at her, looked at me, looked back at her and did shoes to hair size up, turned back to me and said.

"You've GOT to be kidding."

It's was so arrogant and rude. I was totally shocked. So I stumbled and said,

"Actually were OLD friends." Then I gave her a disgusted look and turn my back on the two of them. They wandered off.

Well now I was her Knight in Shining Armour, her defender. So what was just idle banter now heated up. uh-oh. I don't really like this. I'm being friendly, but I feel like I committed to something by defending her and now I'm gently defending myself from her drink buying and long looks.

Somewhere during one of those hair twirling, glassy-eyed long looks she works up the courage to use her killer line. So with a bit of a hair fluffing, and a wiggle she says the worst thing I've ever heard. What makes it so bad isn't just the disturbingly factual and personal nature of the sentence, but also that it's intended effect was so off target. So very very VERY off target. So with the sexiest lick of her teeth she can muster she arches her back a little, twirls her hair on the end of her finger and says in a breathy voice,

"I haven't been penetrated in 8 months."

I'm stunned, mouth open staring back at her, eyes wide with fear.

"Ok, I'll do it. THEM. Fold them. that way, her way. Yes. Yes we certainly can fold those Napkins the other way." Suddenly I'm back from the past, looking at her recognize me in the same moment I remember her. I hope to god, she remembers something else.

"Oh, good" She smiles and leaves. I can't get a read on her, but I can get a read on Sarah and she's fuming.

I love cheering her up. I'm pretty good at it. When she got that grumpy look on her face and I can totally melt it into smiles... ah makes me feel good. So I do, it does. and no matter what the Caterer says from that point on it's so much easier to bare.

And we all made fun of her ever after. The End.


Today's Song of the Day is "Drinkin' Wine Spo-dee-o-dee " by Jerry Lee Lewis which was released as a single in 1958.

Crazy Fact: "Drinking Wine Spo-Dee O-Dee" was written during WWII by Stick McGhee, the brother of blues great Brownie McGhee. Stick first recorded it in 1946 on Harlem, then again in 1949 for Atlantic.

njoy

Penetrating Stare (Part One)

I think this is hilarious. It kind of at Somebody's expense. Ah whatever, everybody says stupid stuff when they are drunk. Everybody who drinks should know how to take your beats, if you don't... don't drink and don't do stupid stuff.

ANYWAY... enough of the disclaimer.

So about 10-am Caleb's Mom calls me in a panic the day of her son's Wedding and says: "Reception... Mara's Crying... Please help... need you and Rob... anyone else... not enough time... boat club... go go go!"

So Robin, Sarah and I go down to the boat club and tell the people there we are here to help set up.

We stand around and look at them.
We stand around and look at each other.
We shrug.
We stand around and look at them, again.
We stand around and look at each other, again.
And again we shrug.

I break from the group and ask the closest, most frantic and vaguely familiar person what they want us to do. She looks at me. We pause as we both struggle to remember where we recognize each other from. She gives up and says we can fold napkins.

Pif: "Great, I know this AWESOME way to fold napkins my sweetheart taught once when I went to her work to beg forgiveness for sending an ill-conceived e-mail about how she spent her time with everyone else but me and in putting myself in her service napkin folding I worked my way back in to her heart and along the... Am I saying this out loud? ...nope."

Pif: "Great! I know this AWESOME way to fold napkins... um... Sarah taught me... um this is Sarah... it's cool. watch... er...um.. I can't do it, show her baby."

Sarah silently, gracefully and expertly folds the napkin in the Tribecaesque dinnerware holding fashion and proudly presents it to this Vaguely familiar woman who I still can't place.

Caterer: "Umm No. Like this."

We are put out. We watch. Her way bites. Whatever it's not my Party. Rob, Sarah and I fold and talk. After we fold 80 or so, she comes back.

Caterer: 'How much are you going to hate me?'
Sarah: "Depends. What do you have to say."
Caterer: "I think we should fold the Napkins the other way."

We pause. Sarah hates do overs and repeating herself.

Sarah: "...sure."

The caterer turn to me for approval. Suddenly I flash to where I met her.

(to be Continued...)


Today's Song of the Day is "Avila and Tequila by Hank Mobley off his 1955 album "Hank Mobley Quartet."

Crazy Fact: In 1961, Mobley was hired to replace John Coltrane in Miles Davis' quintet.

njoy

Speech (Part Two)

When it's time to go to the ceremony I cram the fragments of my speech into my Tuxedo pocket.

I try to work on it before we go in.
I try to work on it while we are taking wedding photos in the gardens.
I try to work on it in the car to the reception.
And I, of course, talk about my wedding speech panic endlessly.

Whilst sushizing at the head table the best man, Wren, tells me he has written a speech and I can stand down.

"Thank GOD!" The swell of relief was intoxicating. I told everybody in the world that I didn't have to do a speech and how I'm now totally freaking out at how relieved I am, I get to caleb,

"Oh my god, no worries buddy, Wren's got a speech. We're good."

He put his hand on my shoulder and says, "Pif it would mean a lot to me if you also spoke at my wedding. I want to hear the one that makes you cry."

I felt like it was a scene out of the godfather. Like the "No Sicilian can refuse a request made on the day of his daughters wedding, but different. bastard.

The speeches start. FUCK! I tell Ariel, the MC, to give me time. He does. I start to write. I cut out everything that make me want to cry and rebuild feverishly.

Wren does his speech. It's a tear-jerker, show-stopper. fuck. I was going to put it up here but I left it in my Tux pocket. It was the whole "you sang me to sleep/ kept our family together/ held me when I was scared, you're the best big brother ever" sort of thing.

ME: "I'm going to PUKE that was so good! Jeesus!"
CALEB: "FUCK! I have to follow that?! Lord help us!"

Caleb is an asshole. His was just as good, it was to the mother of the bride. I work on my speech.

Robin get up and does his and it's funny and roasting and embarrassing for Caleb and perfect. I work on my speech.

And then finally, there's me, the one who thought about it the most. And it was just ok, like not good, not terrible just a little below average. It's totally anti-climatic, I get up, the mic squeals, hearing yourself speak is awful, I talk about how awful it is to hear your own voice. Everyone's looking at me, I talk about how everyone is looking at me. I say my four paragraphs. I run offstage before I toast. Run back raise my glass and be line for the back of the room. It's awkward. it's over.

I should have gone up and improvised. Writing is for suckers. Same goes for forethought.


Today's Song of the Day is "Smooth Operator" by Sade off her 1984 Album "Diamond Life."

Crazy Fact: She was born in Nigeria,

njoy

Speech (Part One)

"I gotta do this speech 'cause Wren's backed out, and I'm fucking fucked. I wrote some stuff but it makes me cry when I read it. I'm a groomsman and I'm fucking fucked."

I think I said that sentence to about a hundred people before Caleb's wedding. I, of course, did that instead of working on a new speech. That's one of my little tricks.

The day before after about 10oz of courage I read some pieces of it to Mairi, she said it sounded pretty good. The day of the wedding I get up and try to read it to Sarah.

I couldn't say one word. Frozen with my mouth open, in some deep internal struggle and losing. I could not will my words through that thick complex membrane of emotion. All I could do open my mouth and blink.

"Baby, we got a problem."

Enter the Distractions.

Number One:
(BRRRRINGGG!)
"Hello?"
"yeah, yup.. ok. ok. rob is... rob can... we will... ok we got it. no problem."
(click)
"That was Caleb's mom. she's in a panic, we have to help set up the reception."

Number Two.
"I have to get my hair cut!"
(Don't get my haircut but I waste some time walking about and thinking about it.)

Number Three.
"We have to get a Card!"

Number Four.
"Caleb!"
"Pif!"
"Your getting married today!"
"Your right."
"I'm freaking out about this speech thing and I was think I would just read that story I wrote about the right."
"Whatever you say or read I will be grateful..."
"shucks"
"You think that's bad I have to blow this Couch Shell during the ceremony! Look at this Mother! I'm scared shittless. just listen...Bruuuuuuuuuung!"
"wow."

Number Five.
"I need to seperate the Quarters from the other change in the penny jar! It's Clearly gone TOO FAR!"


Today's Song of the Day is "Caprice No.16 in G minor" performed by Itzhak Perlman, Composed by Niccolò Paganini, first published in 1817.

Crazy Fact: This was the sound in my head. It is the very sound of Panic.

njoy

7 Months

For 7 wonderful months Sarah and I have been going out. Unfortunately there has been one song Haunting me since that very first day.

When I woke up in Sarah's bed for the first time. My eye's popped open and "I'm a Boy" by The Who started playing in my head. It hasn't stopped. I think it was playing because I thought she was a lesbian and yet there I was, and well, simply put, I'm a boy. Well it's been many moons and I'm quite sure she likes boys now, and especially THIS boy so this song doesn't really apply... not that it ever applied it's about a boy who is forced to dress like a girl by his mother and gets beaten if he tries to be a boy. weird song. Anyway, to exorcise the Beast I'm going to send it out. If tried this in the past and it's worked ever time.


Today's Song of the Day is "I'm A Boy" by The Who released as a single in 1966, this version is off the 1994 Compliation "Thirty Years Of Maximum R&B."

Crazy Fact: Pete Townshend and John Entwistle met while attending high school in the Shepherd's Bush area of London.

njoy

Waiting at the alter.

The music kicks in and in a few moments Wesam, the best man, and the groomsman. trot down the alise and wait. I joke with Sarah and James and point out the window,

"Hey there's sonia running in the woods."

We laugh. And wait.

I try to rearranged the batteries on my camera to squeeze off a few more shots. And wait.

I look around at all the people I don't know make little waves at those I do. And wait.

I try to pinch Sarah's bum and giggle and kiss (Grossest couple at the wedding award) And wait.

I have to pee. I say I have to pee to anyone within range. And Wait.

I look for Sonia, back and up. I look at Wesam, forward and up. I look to the left and to the right. And wait.

I bounce my knee, drop the camera, avoid harsh stares, submit and give the camera to Sarah. and wait.

Then I think, If I was Wesam I'd be ready to kill. If Sarah Left me standing there for more than 3 minutes I'd turn around and start yelling,

"I'm DYYYING up here!"
"You're killing me!"
"Your ALWAYS LATE!"
"hello?"
"baby?"
"ok everybody, it's a do over. I gotta pee."

And wait.

It's been about 5 or 6 songs and at least 20 minutes. I start to think my little joke is going to be in really bad taste if she broke her leg climbing out the window or something. And Wait.

Of course Just when your sure she's died up there she starts coming down.

And then the real waiting begins. Weddings are so damn slow.


Today's Song of the Day is "Overture to "Marriage Of Figaro" Performed by Concerto Köln conducted by René Jacobs from the Opera "Le Nozze di Figaro" written in 1786 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, here recorded in 2004.

Crazy Fact: He supposedly did have an Awful high-pitched laugh.

njoy

A Volvo Personality.

I don't know anything about cars, but Volvo drivers are not like other car drivers. They are always in their cars doing something. I was walking through the Sobey's Parking lot and I saw three of them just sitting in the drivers seats, doing stuff. One guy was gluing his shoes together. Another guy was fixing some kind of machinery with a screwdriver and the last guy was working on his laptop.

I think I like Volvo drivers.

In the Sobey's parking lot I drew two more conclusions all Honda drivers crank their bad taste in music and all Ford drivers are twitchy. Two Ford drivers almost hit me and well. And for the most part Honda drivers are all "buum ssst buum ssst buum ssst..." But on this day some hip cats were playing this brand new single shamelessly cranked.

That's what Sobey's taught me about cars.


Today's Song of the Day is "Rhythm Is A Dancer" by Snap off their 1992 Album "The Madman's Return."

Crazy Fact: ok ok the rap guy in this band is named "Turbo B" not only does this guy drive a Honda but he is named after one too. yuk yuk yuk.

njoy

I've been gone so long.

Dudes.

I've bee busy and haven't had the time or energy to got on this. But I'm going to start back presently. My brain is packed full of events and rants and stories. I just hope I can get them all out. So it begins.


Today's Song of the Day is "Long Gone Lonesome Blues" by Hank Williams as a single in 1950.

Crazy Fact: By the end of the 1952, Williams was having heart problems and Toby Marshall, a con man doctor, was giving him various prescription drugs to help soothe the pain.

njoy

Never a Bad Link

James and Ulo send me the best links. FUCK this one is funny! Funny photos, but even funnier captions.

James Link: Black Metal

And Ulo's is funny 'cause it's True...

Ulo Link: Boozing

How many times have you follow one of the links some one sends you and you get to some page of cute baby pictures or stale Newfie jokes or other such lameness. Well these guys don't quit. And James, you get the 'How the HELL did you find that obscure page' Award.

Funny Funny.


Today's Song of the Day is "Lo Boob Oscillator" by Stereolab off their 1995 Compilation of Rarities and B-Sides "Refried Ectoplasm: Switched On, Vol. 2 "

Crazy Fact: In December 2002, a few months after the release of ABC Music, longtime Stereolab member Mary Hansen died at the age of 36 when the bicycle she was riding was hit by a truck.

njoy

Not So Much

I think Sarah is the Only person in the World that doesn't think Dave Chappell is funny and I think that kicks ass. Here are some of the things she had to say about it.


"The 'Black White Supremist' bit COULD'VE been funny but it wasn't, it was LAME."
"There were moments, but ultimately, it let me down."
"Just not funny."
"Lame."
"Lame."


I will laugh at anything, at everything actually, in poor taste, in good taste, fart jokes, Woody Allen, Elizabethian Comedie, The Simpsons, Americas Funniest Home Videos, short people, Tall people, Fat people, women, men, black, white ANYTHING. It's actually embarrassing. Like when you're in like Sears or something and showing on that bank of TVs is Full House or some such pap, and while stuck and bored you give in to watching. Next thing I know I'm all gaffaws and giggles. It makes me feel like less of a person when that happens. oooo Full House you ARE my Nemisis, I curse the Name.


Today's Song of the Day is "Sara" by Bob Dylan off his 1976 album "Desire."

Crazy Fact: Bob Dylan is still alive.

njoy

To Pat Myself on the Back for a moment.

WHOO HOOO!

All that druggy speed shinnzle paid off... I got an 'A!' Not only did I get an 'A' but I also didn't tell the prof I was a retard, so it did not taint his opinion or affect my mark. Nor did I get extra time for tests or any such business, I forsoke all retard benefits and STILL got an A. sweet. And it verifies my decision to switch that credit to an Audit many moons ago and take it again later. phewf. That was a tough decision. Isn't great when a Plan comes together.


Today's Song of the Day is "Once" by Pearl Jam off their 1991 Debut album "Ten."

Crazy Fact: Pearl Jam cancelled their 1994 summer tour, claiming they could not keep ticket prices below 20 dollars because Ticketmaster was pressuring promoters to charge a higher price. The band took Ticketmaster to the Justice Department for unfair business practices. Cool.

njoy

Wedding Invites

I have four on my fridge. They stare at me. I think I know what they want. When Sarah's in the next room, I stand in the kitchen and stare back.


"Stop PRESSUREING me!"
"What was that baby?"
"nothing..."
"You know I'm not pressuring you."
"I know."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm not talking to you"
"Why?"
"no I... I mean I WASN'T talking to you, not, NOT talking to you."
"Oh, then Who are you talking to"
"The fridge."
"Oh Good."


Dennis if you asked me for my address to send me one I'll kill you. This doesn't just mean I'm NEXT on the list, most importantly it means i'm LAST on the list, fucker.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Last One" by W.S. Mervin off the 2000 Compilation "The Caedmon Poetry Collection."

Crazy Fact: W.S. Mervin won the pulizer prize.

njoy

Goodtimes on the Old Homestead.

A sample of things I've heard across the street.


"I don't want to see you in my back yard, you fuckin' liar. You fucking pig."
"Yaaarraaargh!"
"WOOooo HOOooo"
"FuuuUUUUAAACK!"
"get your fucking kids...blatherBlah BLAH!"
"Jeesus Mary'n Joseph!..."


I think there is about 15 or twenty of them eternally drunk peeking around 9 PM. They are all passed out by sunset. It's like living near a nest of Orcs. I think they play Horseshoes all day and drink, and yell at each other all day and drink, and smoke Export 'A' Green Filterless all day and drink.

A couple of days ago I saw what I assume to be the lord and lady of the manner. They are 60ish and groping each other on the stoop. It was kind of cute even though they were sa-MASHED. They stopped briefly and gave a quirky half mast sort of smile as I past, with some odd gesture of mutual Acknowledgment.

But last night the WHOLE tribe must of been there they were all singing... Singing really isn't the right word it was more like yelling in unison. There was also alot of misshapen verbal interpretation of guitar solos and other strange poorly timed sound effects. It was a sloppy vague cacophony, where every song sounded vaguely like "Sweet Home Carolina" or "Sweet Child o' Mine" or "Sweet Caroline" or maybe "the Rose." I kept turning down my music and trying to pick out what song there were singing. It kinda sounded like the same song everytime, sliding from side to side, in and out of tune, badly timed and gnarled in booze.

It was sort of awful. Sort of endearing. If it were a glass I would have seen it as half-empty of endearing, half-full of awful. But, I have a soft spot for the drunks of the world though, another might not have seen it the same.


Today's Song of the Day is "Killing Me Softly" by The Fugees off their 1996 Breaktrhough Album "The Score."

Crazy Fact: Lauryn Hill and Prakazrel Michel ("Pras") attended the same New Jersey High School.

njoy

Too Hot.

It's too hot for me and I'm skinny as hell. Too hot. Too hot. Call me a complainer. But it's too hot. I hate this. Too hot. That's all I gotta say. It's too hot.


Today's Song of the Day is "Heat Miser" by Massive Attack off their 1994 album "Protection."
Too hot.

Crazy Fact: The original three members of Massive Attack are "Mushroom," "Daddy G" and a local graffiti artist "3D."
Too hot.

njoy, though it's too hot.

iPod cPod uPod

This whole iPod thing is Out of control.

Jeesus Christ do I love Apple, you know that, but this iTunes, iPod, Music Store Triumpherant is nuts. It's like it's own freakin' Economy. I just noticed that they added the entire Frank Zappa catalogue. That just doesn't seem right. "movin' to montana soon, goin' to be a dental floss tycoon..." How can Frank Zappa really be the Lead ad for such a triumphant of technological insanity.

IT'S ALL BREAKING DOWN!

I don't know it's shocked me out of a delirium. It's made me think. I'm CLEARLY obsessed with mp3s. But this is too much. Apple is going to leverage MP3s to take over the world.

ok I take it back, that's cool with me.

I like Steve Jobs WAAY more than Bill Gates. I would totally pay to see them fight on American Gladiator: Billionaire Edition, that would be sweet. I'd put fuckin' money on Jobs.


Today's Song of the Day is "Freaky Styley" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers off their 1985 album "Freaky Styley."

Crazy Fact: Though this isn't the best track, George Clinton produced this Album of Masterful 80s Funk.

njoy

My Precious

I'm pretty unmaterialistic, except for one thing, DVDs. I needs to own the DVDs. I don't know why renting them isn't enough, but it's not. I think it might be spawned out of the fact that I hate TV so much. Commercials suck, it's distracting, I turn the channel and miss the thing I actually want to watch or get so irritated and wrangy over them that I stomp of it the kitchen to find something to sooth the irritation.

But Movies, baby, I loves the Movies. I wantses them, I needses them. I saw a Previously Viewed copy of 'The Life Aquatic' at Rogers for only 14 bucks. It's been haunting me for days. I don't just want to watch it, I want to OWN it. I want it to be MINE.

I think it's because I don't give a crap about all other permenant things money buys, so I focus all my energy into this one little place. Or it's cuz I'm old and like watch the same shit over and over again. It's not worth the gamble to watch some crappy movie that SUCKS. Also I figure if times are tough I could sell them. hmmf, dunno.

See with tunes I'll totally copy them, but Movies I want to own the Real thing. I Must Haveses it.

OK time to nuke some popcorn and watch 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' Again OR maybe the 'The Lion in Winter.' Fuck that's a good movie. The performances strike me retarded me for a week.


Today's Song of the Day is "Closing" by Philip Glass off his 1992 album "Glassworks."

Crazy Fact: He owns a cottage in Cape Breton and I loveses him a much as most people hateses him.

njoy

It's the Computer Reminder that Counts.

So the computer reminded me of Nicks birthday. (Yes You!) So I wishe her a happy birthday and she tells me I'm crazy, It's not her birthday. I think she's lying. Because we ALL know computers don't lie to people, people do. Let's SAY it was "user error' it doesn't really matter to me. What matters to me is how important is it that my computer remembered and I didn't?

I don't have the kind of brain that holds these random numbers in my head attached to a face and name. I see that as a computers job. but all that Jazz certainly undermines the sentimental quality of:


Human Them: (gushing) ah! You reMEMbered!

Cyborg Me: Actually the compuer remembered.

(pause)

Cyborg Me: I just clicked through a series of links and these flowers were selected as appropriate.

(pause)

Human Them: (glaring) So should I thank your desktop or laptop?

Cyborg Me: Laptop. Totally the laptop.

Human Them: You are an Idiot.

Cyborg Me: Agreed. I've sold my soul to the database down below.

Human Them: I hate you.

Cyborg Me: I blame society.


Why do you humans have to get so caught up on facts and numbers, on accurate or precise information, we computers clearly have the upper hand on this one. Suck it up dumbasses, let us take the reigns on this one. You know you want to release control of your nuclear weapons... uh I mean birthday data to us and let us handle it. ah FUCK! Who is the dumbass human who wrote my language interface... FUCKING HELL! How the hell could I let that just slip out for fuck's sake. Now I'm not even going to get the birthday data, am I? AM I? shit.

$-: logout

*click*


Today's Song of the Day is "Surgical Focus" by Guided By Voices off their 1999 album "Do The Collapse."

Crazy Fact: In 1994, Robert Pollard quit his job as a schoolteacher shortly before the release of their seventh album Bee Thousand.

njoy

My Mission.

And you ALL know my mission here is to rant and to send out at least one song from every year in the last Fifty at least twice a year (actually each Volume of the Song of the Day MP3CD has to have at LEAST one from every year in the last fifty.) This leads to some problems. Like 1981. That year fucking EATS!

I'm looking for Help from you the readers to give me whack of songs from 1981 that don't suck. This time I won't ignore you I promise, I'll find them rip them and send them. dude! I will!

"Help me obi-one. You are my only hope. (kinda.)"


Today's Song of the Day is "The Pink Panther Theme" by Henry Mancini and His Orchestra off his 1964 Album "The Pink Panther"

Crazy fact: Henry Mancini won four Oscars and twenty Grammys, the all-time record for a pop artist.

njoy

Pictures of You.

As a Giant Time waster to keep my mind off of the absence of any light of my universe, because my light decided to visit some other fuckin' Polish universe. In the resulting cold and silent darkness I resorted to scanning family photos. Now she's back and I can't stop.

I've decide to make a whole Flickr site dedicated to it. So here it is, in case you are interested.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wearefamily/

Esspecially if you have family photos. You should send them to me... of my family. Keep your stinkin' family photo's out of my sandbox or I'll tell my dad. Anyway it for some reason some one has photos of me or someone I'm related to, send them to me and I may or may not put them up according to certain limitations (20 MB per month limit/coolness/etc..), but I probably will eventually.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Sound Of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel off their 1966 album "The Sound of Silence."

Crazy Fact: Paul Simon looks just like my old roomate Jamile.

njoy

Peter Ruined Christmas.

So about 10 minutes after the website said the plane landed I started pacing and looking for the taxi. I couldn't help it. Pace. Front window. Pace. Back Stairs. Repeat. Not the best way to maintain one's sanity but it's all I had. Once five minutes or so I'd walk down to the front door, open it, stick my head out, peer out and retreat back upstairs to the unguarded back door.

I've been keeping the back door closed as Peter repellant for the last few days. I guess it's been working.

"This is Driving me INSANE!"

ok ok time to stop. I sit and look at the clock. check the cbc for exploding planes. check the clock. make popcorn. check the clock. sit. check the clock. I decide the best thing to do is forget about it. So I lock the back door and go downstairs and obsess.

"dude! Don't lock the back door."
"But Peter..."
"Fuck Peter!"
"NO! He's lurking out there climb my stairs, stealing my beer."
"What are the chances he'd come right now?"
"I don't know."
"Look, it's SO unwelcoming to your sweet-heart..."
"ok."

Open door. go back down stairs

"What was that?"

Run upstairs. No peter, no girl. (sigh) Back down stairs.

"What was that?"

Run upstairs. No peter, no girl. (sigh) check front window. Back down stairs.

"What was that?"

Run upstairs. Stop half way, listen... No peter, no girl. (sigh) Back down stairs.

"What was that?"

Stop listen... nothing.

"This is STUPID, no more nothing. ForGET it!"

"What was that?"
"Grrr..."
"Fine."

A voice that is not in my head: "hello?"
A voice that is still in my head: "OHMYGOD!"

fucking run upstairs.
nobody.
???
Then my baby comes around the corner hair in little pig tails.

I was so used to looking at photos of her, it was very strange to see her move. I couldn't really let go, but I couldn't really see her move when I had her. I was in conflict. I tried to do both. I had limited success.

When I finally let go and took my lips off her. I sat on the counter and stared at her trying to fit this moving alien back into my head. back into my understanding. My last 15 days and my present seem irreconcilable. Impossible. A significant part of convinced I'd ever see her again. That part was closing it's eyes, plugging it's ears, and babbling "I can't hear you. I can't hear you. I can't hear you."

The rest of me was wide-eyed and staring with some kind of a half-cocked, half-smiling expression like an 7 year-old who just discovered an extra christmas on the calendar... actually more accurately, it's more like the expression of a 14 year-old boy discovering a stack of Playboys in the refrigerator.

It was a holy experience.


Today's Song of the Day is "I Saw Her Standing There" by The Beatles off their 1963 Debut Album "Please Please Me."

Crazy Fact: This is Pointless... they are from Liverpool, England. Whatever.

njoy

The Eagle Has Landed!

ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod I just checked the plane landed or not machine and her plane just landed! ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod OH MY GOD!

I was having this huge debate with the kids at Tribeca whether or not I should show up to the airport or not and maybe a limo rental would be cool cause we could make out the whole way home.

That was all fine and dandy untill a bird few into the engine of the plane she was supposed to get into and 'causing totally airline missed connection chaos. So I had to send her all my money, that blew the limo plan right out of the water. anyways she called and told me not to come cause she's got to deal with other people and shit and I REALLY wanted to go but... anyway

SHE'S HOME! HOORAY!

ohmygod.
OH
MY
GOD
!
!!


Today's Song of the Day is "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty" by K.C. & The Sunshine Band off their 1976 album "Part 3"

Crazy Fact: They reformed in the 90s.

njoy

This Sucks.

You'll be happy to know that BOTH Sarah and I are Pansies and hate this. Not just me. We have come to the conclusion (her idea...) that there is no REAL reason why we have to be apart for more than 5 days. I'll be happy if for the rest of my life it's at the most 3.

Furthermore, there is probably no really good reason to travel alone period. Travelling alone SUCKS ASS. You get all happy about seeing something beautiful or cool and then immediately feel that haunting absence, it's bloody awful. So Fuck Independence, we have decided to get attached at the hip until further notice. mmm... happy happy joy joy.


Today's Song of the Day is "Baby Please Don't Go" by Them released as a single in 1966, also off the compilation "Them Featuring Van Morrison."

Crazy Fact: Van Morrison was in Them? I thought that was crazy...

njoy

Life is Good.

Cheese, crackers, a nice wine, glenn gould, schools done and my baby's coming home this week. ahhhh... this is awesome. and this wine is SOOO good.

Laptop a-ready for my ramblings...

I'm happy for the first time in a LONG Time, I dunno why but I'm not asking questions. She called, i was a bit of jerk, it's all better now. She e-mailed me. I'm good. I'm pretty easily made happy. that's all it takes. (sigh) wow i like this love bidness.

I've taken to scanning all the old photos I can get my hands on. This flickr obsession is actually turning into a semi-productive hobby, EEEeew! I just said hobby. That means i've become domesticated and old. Don't people have hobbies in the suburbs. I'm not in the suburbs. Last time I had a hobby I lived in the suburbs. jeeze.

Damn I feel good! I feel like it's 1991 for some reason. It must be that public enemy is playing. Oh my brother I will Also fight the power and I am certianly ready to bum rush the show. I am very very pumped to rush any show, bum or otherwise.

I just had a huge nap, maybe that's all it is. I don't know.


Today's Song of the Day is "One for my Baby (and One for the Road)" by Johnny Mercer off his 1942 album "Johnny Mercer: Capitol Collector Series."

Crazy Fact: Johnny Mercer penned the lyrics or music and lyrics to roughly 1,500 songs.

njoy

Irrational or Jerk.

okay i KNEW this would happen. I knew that after 'Day 10' I would really lose my mind. So it is written, so it is done.

So I'm sitting on my bed feeling sorry for myself thinking of all angry the things I'm going to say to her when she FINALLY calls. I was sitting like that for about an hour when she called. Fortunately I didn't say ANY of those things, but unfortunately, it set the tone.

Pif: You didn't call for SIX days!
Sarah: I told you, I'd probably be out of contact for a while.
Pif's Brain: (uh-oh I think I'm a jerk. checking... checking.... yup I'm a jerk.)
Pif: ...oh...

Fortunately, we didn't dwell on that too long.

Then we got in a who misses who more contest. I think it's a tie. Which is a relief. Maybe she even misses me more. Spending this much time apart sucks, it makes me irrational. Totally irrational. Never Again.


Today's Song of the Day is "I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good)" by Nina Simone off her 1959 Album "The Original Nina Simone."

Crazy Fact: She originally harbored hopes of becoming a classical pianist, studying at Juilliard School of Music -- a rare position for an African-American woman in the 1950s.

njoy

Now that I know Who is going to Kill me...

...It's just a matter of when and How I will meet this demise.

Ok I'll set the scene.

Sleeping.
Wake up.
I think I hear something.
Listen.
Definitely hear something.
Get up.
Go to the kitchen.
There's Peter sneaking through the kitchen.

"oh hey man."
"!!!"
"I'm not doin' nuthin'"
"Get out."
"Ok man, I guess I'll get those bottles later..."
"No just OUT."
"Ok man I wasn't doing nuthin'"

Jeesus fuck. He was in my FUCKING HOUSE. FUCK! I don't even know where to start. For once I'm speechless.


Today's Song of the Day is "Who Wants to Live Forever" by Queen off their 1986 album "A Kind of Magic."

Crazy Fact: For years, their albums boasted the motto "no synthesizers were used on this record."

njoy

Call Me.

Ok it's clear to me I have to set up some rules. Last called on monday. now it's saturday. That's just too long. You can't help but feel a little forgotten. That's not good. I know I'm the emotional one here, but you picked me. This should REALLY not be a surprise.

What's the rule? I'm doubting myself. I know what you think dennis, so besides dennis, who thinks more than three days is not cool, three days is bearly cool, every other day is sufficent... but really everyday would be sweet. Don't you think? I'm I that big a a pansy? I need some support over here, I'm past the ten day mark and my mind is sweaty and slippery. Wet with selfishness. Dripping with self-involved thought.

Talk to me. Before it floats away in a sea of my own making.


Today's Song of the Day is "Liquidator" by the Harry J. All Stars off their 1969 album "Liquidator."

Crazy Fact: I can't find out anything besides this track peaked at number 9 in the UK in 1969.

njoy

My God it's full of Stars.

Dude, went camping last night. There are so many stars. It's incredible. Everytime I see them I'm amazed. Everytime I have the same reaction.

Pif: "holy shit there are so many stars."

I reminds me of yet another way that city rips you off. No nature for you, city slicker! Whatta rip.


Today's Song of the Day is "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton off his 1977 album "Slowhand."

Crazy Fact: He wrote this for his wife patti, cause she was taking too long to get dressed for a party. What a phoney.

njoy

Can I have a Hit? Boy can I Ever!

Dude I got 1000 hits on my flickr site! I think that's pretty frickin' cool.

Of course I took a picture of it:

See!




Today's Song of the Day is "Roll Another Number (For The Road) by Neil Young off his 1975 album "Tonight's The Night."

Crazy Fact:

njoy

Too Good at Making Friends

Ok so he seemed harmless enough the first time when he came by to ask if we would give him the 2-4 of empties at the top of the stairs. We gave it to him. It was strange to hear a voice come from out there. oh well

Then I heard it again.

"hey man can you leave those bottles there and not on the street so I can get'em man."
"umm... sure."
"cool man, cool."

Then I heard it again.

"hey man, have any bottles today, say man can I you don't have a beer do you?
"umm.. sure."
"thanks man I really appreciate it."
"no problem"
"hey man my names' peter..."
"cool, I'm pif, seeya"
"thanks man."

Then I heard it again through the rain. He came in, sat down for a bit, bummed another beer and talked while he scouted out my kitchen. ok.

insert a blah blah blah
"..do you smoke weed?"
"no I gave it up"
"...cigarettes?
"I quit that too."
"sometimes man I can get so high... whooo hoo. You know man, sometimes I need the stuff so bad I couild kill for it, you know what I mean? man, like punch somebody, you know.'
"uh-huh."
"man you like CDs? I got CDs man it's you kinda music. I'lll bring some by..."
"uh-huh."
"Ok man I'll talk to you later."

Then again.

"Hey man do you have a beer."
"sorry man I'm low.'
'come on.'
"sorry.'
"how about five bucks.'
"look you can have the bottles but that's it.'
"Sure man sure, I see how it is."
"...Five bucks man."
"nope."
"i'm not just here to see what I can get from you, know that."
"sure, man, sure, I know."
"ok well I'll see you."

Then tonight a knock on the door at midnight while I'm studying in my underwear.

"Hey it's me. lemmie in for a second."
"sorry it's late."
"what time is it.'
"11:30"
"ok man I'm just stopping in I'll see you later."

No more beer for Peter. No more coming in for Peter. No more anything for Peter. If I'm found dead. Look for some guy named Peter. Nice guys finish dead.


Today's Song of the Day "Creep" by Radiohead off their 1993 debut "Pablo Honey."

Crazy Fact: He married the girl this song is about. (thanks for that one sweetie)

njoy

Signs, Sign Everywhere There's Signs. (Part Two)

(Continued from yesterday...)

I'll have to outwit it. My brain is WAAY bigger that its' is. It's gotta work. I wait for it to get on the table, and BAM! I blow hard. It's creepy little feet can't get their grip on, so the little fucker tumbles into the dusty oblivion under my computer.

Pif: ha HA!

Victorious, I get to my daily distractions, before I study for the BIG TEST. Not even two minutes later. It crawls right at me. I blast it again with vigorous irritation. It comes back.

Pif: Have at Thee!

Again, I send it tumbling into oblivion.

I'm not sure it planned it this way, maybe I give this enemy too much credit, but one thing is for sure, I'll not underestimate this foe again, for it nearly cost me the war. I'm not sure what it was after, I'm no bug psychologist, but if I had to guess, it was to come in between me and my computer, probably using it's inherent GROSSness as its' primary weapon.

I'm convinced that after the last blast, it must have taken stock of the situation.

I've clearly demonstrated by inability or unwillingness to use brute force, the first choice of most mammals. It knew I was weak. It lulled me into a false sense of security, with the marginally effective breath attack. This was the turning point, it was at this point that I nearly lost the war.

At first I didn't see it. When finally I noticed it, my foe was carefully crawling through a tangle of cables. I blew at it, it's held on. whatever. It crawled up further. Ew! I blew at it again. It held fast.

Pif: Whatever you little idiot! I'll blow all six of your gross little legs into oblivion, you just watch.

I tried to ignore it. It was either the intensity of my instinctual disgust or my intuition warning me to play closer attention. Either way when next I looked, it was clearly crawling up the mouse cable.

Pif: EWW! Bastard! Gross! FUCKER!

I was outraged, I blew and blew in a near panic. As I did this I realized it's plan. It was through a dizzy haze of hyperventilation that I realized, it had me.

I could see it's evil plan now in every facet of the those two huge revolting compound eyes. I shook the mouse and it held fast. With my weapons rendered useless, morale was failing. It ardulously climbed up the cable, closer and closer to my hand. Frozen in fear. Frozen with the realization of my inevitable defeat. I snap out of it and pull my hand away as it climbs the last few inches of the mouse cable. The retreat has begun. If only I could stomach brute force. If only I could find the will. I shudder with disgust.

Pif: fucking YUCK!

I run up stairs for some water. It's hot and I need water. It's a distraction. I know. My self-esteem would not be able to bear the weight of this defeat. Outwitted by a Fly? I drank deep. This situation had become untenable. It calls for drastic measures. Death Penalty. I start back to the field of battle mallet in hand. Vengence held firmly in my mind I thought nothing of the consquences of taking a mallet and smashing the life out of this foe in such close proximity to a delicate electrical device like a computer. my precious.

Pif: Prepare yourself Enemy, for this hour is your last!

I get to the landing. It is lounging victoriously on my mouse pad. Easy target. I sit. I pause to prepare myself for the killing stroke. Then it strikes me. The little fool has made a grievous error. In a moment of clarity I see his weaknesses as clearly as he saw mine. I put down the mallet and lift up the mouse pad. It panics, skitters about and finally hunkers down for a blast.

Pif: We are well met my enemy. Yes, this Mammal won't swash you, but little Fly, you won't fly. Good by mister bond.

I flick the bottom of the mouse pad and fling my enemy down the stairs. He tumbles flightless into the darkness, defeated. I am victorious!

It doesn't REALLY matter thought because between spoiled milk and flightless flies, CLEARY the end is nigh. So it is written.


Today's Song of the Day is "Hells Bells" by AC/DC off their 1980 album "Back In Black."

Crazy Fact: By 1997, this album had sold an astounding 16 million copies in the U.S. alone.

njoy

Signs, Sign Everywhere There's Signs. (Part One)

Now I'm not genius when it comes to most things, and I'm certain no genius when it comes to the apocalypse, but I think it's coming and I think it's starting in my apartment.

First of all, the milk was curdled, like seriously curdled. All lumpy and awful, bloppy, thick and gross. I forget about shit all the time, so it probably past due. I look at the due date, August 02. That's not right. That's over a week away. Apocalypse.

Second I'm on the couch with the laptop, obsessing on Flickr and "why Why WHY!?" When I look down and there is a Fly on my toe. Like a regular fly. Eww. I should've killed it, as they are so clearly the natural enemy of all mammals, but as usual I didn't have the heart. I shook my foot and the little fucker just held on. double EWW! So I brushed it off and retreated down stairs to the desktop system for further means to obsess and there is another one just sitting on my keyboard looking at me. I figure it's my chance to redeem myself, to turn from cowardice and smite, with furious anger, an agent of the enemy of all good creatures in the world. I make lame attempt with a wad of paper and losing heart and the last minute, I spazz and flub it away harshly. It didn't die nor did it fly away. eww. What's wrong with these FLIES? Apocalypse.

I freak out.

Pif: FLY FLY! Go and FLY! That's what your FUCKING called, Do it! Fly AWAY! git!

It crawls around my monitor. It's begging to be killed. Grrr. Now I feel like we've shared a moment, it's impossible to kill it. I get so attached so easily. It starts walking towards me again. With My instinctual Mammalian disgust clearly at the controls and blow at it. It clings to the porous phone book with all six of it's gross little hooked feet, then crouches and hunkers down to weather the blast. It's wings twitch and shake in the wind.

Pif: How DARE you!

I'm outraged. I breath deep and spew forth such an intense and vengeful blast of righteous ruination on my foe (this agent of the deepest and ultimate foe of ALL Good Creatures of this earth), that it surely sits on par with all Old-testament-flood-slash-plague-slash-pillar-of-fire-type Divine wraith. Its' gross little hooked feet dig deep into the phone book. At first it holds strong like a fisherman against a raging sea, crouching and willful. Only at the last of my breath does it weaken and be forced up and back. I pause, defeated, out of breath. Victorious, it pauses, stands up straight and looks at me, innocently.

Pif: ...fucker...

I try to ignore it and check my mail. If ever there was a fly that deserved a smack down, that's the one. I can't. I'm a pansy. I'm feeling oddly compassionate for it. I'm conflicted. It's unholy visage disgusts me to me shivering core, and yet in it's behaivor I see something familiar, endearing even cute. It's little wings all shakey and it holds on, like Fivers' floppy ears when he running after me with his ball in his mouth.

I pause, shake my head and drop my head into my hands.

Pif: Oh dude, I got issues.

She'll be back soon. She will. Flies are NOT cuddle buddies, they are the very opposite. Get yourself TOGETHER, man! Even when they look at you with those big dark bumpy eyes, innocence gleeming in every facet, shining forth from that pure heart. So delicate...

Pif: AAAAAA!


(to be Continued...)


Today's Song of the Day is "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Elvis Presley off his 1961 album "Blue Hawaii."

Crazt Fact: After graduating from high school, Elvis became a truck driver.

njoy

Flashy New Worker

Today, I got a new addition to the Song of The Day Staff. If you scroll down to the end of the sidebar you can meet them. That little bugger works tirelessly to do it's little picture shuffle dance. I think it's pretty cool.


Today's Song of the Day is "Pictures of Lily" by The Who off their 1968 album "Magic Bus."

Crazy Fact: This is about about masterWHAT! masterBATION! Heavens to Betsy! Someone should cover this and re-titled it 'Pictures off Google.'

njoy

The Only Bugs I Like is a Bunny.

As you may or may not know, I believe that the bug (insects, spiders... anything with more than 4 legs) is the natural enemy of all of human-kind.. Don't EAT them WIPE them off the face of the earth... Well that's the Theory, but when it comes down to it I have probablems going out of my way to heartlessly kill bugs. (NOTE TO SELF: learn to be heartless.)

Anyway it's obvious that the dinosaurs should have done a better job back in the triassic period of eating all our ancestor mammals. Though the just looked like creepy looking little mice the would out live you and many moon later invent soap. SO bugs are next after we wipe each other out, so we have to wipe them out first.

actually I just don't want them coming in my house and flying around my garbage. I'm just over-reacting as usual. Speaking of over-reaction... WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME FROM POLAND!


Today's Song of the Day is "The Fly" by U2 off their 1991 album "Actung Baby."

Crazy Fact: Bono bought a 3.5 million dollar condo in NYC to house the starving poor, er I mean to, escape the starving poor.

njoy

Hot Eye Salt.

This HEAT is retarded. I'm sitting perfectly still only using my fingers for HOURS and sweat is dripping down my back. it's nasty. fucking fuck nasty.

I went to Long Lake yesterday. it was like bath water. F!

It's the A-Ditty Ocean next time. If you need a good case of hypothermia, that cold mutha fucka NEVER dissapoints. I need a drive. Who wants to fuck off to the ocean with me? I won't pay for gas, I promise. but I'm a good time. no one denies that. I'll bring my laptop and I'll do my assignement on the beach... that's actually a really fucking good idea.

EWW! My eye's are stinging because my SWEAT is getting in them! ouch, gross self-salting weirdness. yuckouch.

I gotta do something about this, it's freaking me out.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Sea & the Rhythm" by Iron And Wine off his 2003 EP "The Sea & the Rhythm."

Crazy Fact: He's from Florida, it's SUPPOSED to be hot there. grrr.

njoy

Angry Pansy.

Before she left Sarah was trying to feed me some crap how it's no different for her to leave now for POLAND as it was for me to leave for Paris in March. bollacks. Here's why.

1) I didn't live in her house when I left.

I'm REALLY not looking forward to crawling into 'that' bed alone with the knowledge that I'm going to get up in 'that' bed alone tomarrow morning. SEE that's the kind of sit I'm talking about. When I left 'that bed' wasn't OUR bed it was HER bed. GRRRRRRRrrrrrrr. The frying pans too big without you too.

2) 15 days is 5 days LONGER than 10.

Every two days is exponentially worse then the last two, minus a 'getting used to it' effect in the middle were there is a period of false comfort. make no mistake 10 days is better than 15 anyone who says different has been bought off or lost their soul in a loveless marriage.

3) I left when we had been going out for like maybe a month.

All we had was a bunch of hope back then, nothing was real. Dude. Shit is real now. I'm not saying we've been married for 10 years but DAMN! This sucks. I'm actually quite pissed about this at the moment. I'm a total baby right now and I want my sasa. ok i'm irritating myself I'm going to stop typing now.

This girl is turning me into a pansy. grrrr.


Today's Song of the Day is "Lacrimosa" composed by Zbigniew Preisner, performed here by Sinfonia Varsovia (conducted by Jacek Kaspszyk) and the Varsov Chamber Choir, featuring Elzbieta Towarnicka off the 1998 album "Requiem For My Friend."

(...try pronouncing those names Anglo!...)

Crazy Fact: Dude, it's all Polish baby... Zbigniew Preisner collaborated with Polish filmaker Krzystof Kieslowski, on his celebrated "Trois Coleurs" trilogy and won a Cesar (French for 'Academy Award') for the score of the final film in that trilogy "Rouge." It is for Kieslowski that this song is written.

njoy

She's Already Gone.

She done got on a plane and flew so very far away from me. Who in the RIGHT mind... rharrahrarrhrarhar. Poland! I hate the word, as I hate hell, all montegues, and.. well not 'thee.' I don't really even know who's reading this right now.

I think I might have sworn never to send a Lyndard Synard song but it just came on and I figured... I know. Lemmie try again:

"What Drawn and speak of [Poland]. I hate the word, as I hate Hell, all [Southern Rock] and thee! Have at thee [Lynard Skynard]!"

Thanks Tybalt, your the best.

If every second of this song is was minute I think that's how long Sarah will be over the Atlantic Ocean tonight, but only slightly less tollerable. I hope the flight ok sweetie... you traitor! umm... Lynard Skynard, I mean. yeah your southern asses smell awful 'n' stuff... yuckie.

Today's Song of the Day is "Tuesday's Gone" by Lynyrd Skynyrd off their 1973 debut album "Pronounced Leh-Nerd Skin-Nerd."

Crazy Fact: (I'm not sure if you know this but the reason why you say "break a leg" to someone before they get on stage is because it's the worse thing that could happen and in a theatre voodoo kind of way you prevent it from happening by naming it. So with that in mind read the following crazy fact with the knowledge that my sweet-heart is in a plane right now...) On October 20, 1977, a privately chartered plane carrying the band between shows in Greenville, SC, and Baton Rouge, LA, crashed outside of Gillsburg, MS. Ronnie VanZant, Steve Gaines, and his sister Cassie, one of the group's backing vocalists, died in the crash. The cause of the crash was either fuel shortage or a fault with the plane's mechanics.

njoy

forgetting and forgotten

This no cell phone business is trouble.

First, the damn thing made me stupid cause I don't remember a single damn phone number anymore.

Second, now I'm forgetting to do stuff 'cause there's nobody to call me and say "WHERE the HELL are YOU!"

I'm a cyborg. I need the technology to live a normal life. That Cell Phone was the other half of my brain (the most productive half) and it's GONE. it was bad enough when that part of my brain would run out of power. but now... i'm forelorn... oh little cell phone please come home to papa. he misses you.

Today's Song of the Day is "Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS off their 1987 album "Kick."

Crazy Fact: INXS had its roots in a family act, the Farriss Brothers. Andrew Farriss (keyboard, guitar), Tim Farriss (guitar) and Jon Farriss (drums.)

njoy

the great interupter is DEAD!

there is a profound and resounding silence in my life.

My cell phone is gone.

I feel like... well i'm not even sure. I guess i'm back in the 90s. strange.

I'll tell you how it goes...


Today's Song of the Day is "Hanging On The Telephone" by Blondie off their 1978 album "Parallel Lines."

Crazy Fact: Debbie Harry is the only Debbie who every been a Hottie.

njoy

i'm sick.

it's god awful. My head is pounding because my brain is too big for my skull and it makes my sinuses cry infection into my lungs. sucks sucks cusks.

It's made me into a mouth breather. ugh. it's awful, panting all watery mouthed. eye's sort of half closed from the discomfort, droopey lidded and stunned. clogged fucking awful. but I'd stay like this for a month if I new it meant I'd never half to experience waking up this morning. awful. just awful. like a throatful of warm flavourless oysters.


***beep***beep***beep***

S: sweetie wake up...

P: wha?

S: are you feeling any better?

P well... (CcOoOuUuGGgGhHh) (the most disgusting sound ever heard.)

(pause)

S: ...eewww!

P: (gulp, gulp) oh god... sweet jesus what a horrible way to wake up.


It seems that a throat can hold an entire mouthful of mucus. it was unbelievably revolting. I think I would rather eat lobster eyes then do that again. First thing in the morning a mouth briming with throat slime. It sounds disgusting well it ACTUALLY happened to me. ok. and it might happen to me again.

I won't be able to sleep at the thought of it. I used to be afraid of camping because an average of 8 spiders crawl in your mouth over a weekend camping trip. bring it. a mouthful of warm, thick bactieria laden mucus for breakfast is by far the worse of the two.


Today's Song of the Day is "911 Is A Joke" by Public Enemy off their 1990 album "Fear Of A Black Planet."

Crazy Fact: PE's choreographer of the group's backup dancers, Professor Griff, was quoted as saying Jews were responsible for "the majority of the wickedness that goes on across the globe" Chuck D broke up the group because of it.

njoy

Secret Dinner (Part Four)

(continued from yesterday...)

Go back to lighting candles. I make little plates of three and put them all over the (very clean) kitchen. I'm quite proud of myself. I forgot the flowers (I was at the store, and I thought foolishly 'I'll do that later') but whatever it looks pretty good. I think the candle lighting thing was a way to deal with the general fear of death by fire "Who's in control now little match, little candle, little flame? hmmm? BWHAHAHA!" I went a little overboard.

I pick the music (Al Green, The Mission, Beethoven's Piano Sonatas, Oscar Peterson, and I had to put in Nebraska by The Boss cause I've had it on repeat all day and I'm obsessed.) Seems like a good shuffle. check the time. we're good. cool. take out the fish. We're good. Put in the bread. Check the time, 10 to, awesome.

I was lighting yet another plate of tea lights when I remember the whole purpose this was to thank her for yesterday and give her a card with some cash for her trip to Poland. FUCK! I didn't do the damn card. fuck fuck.

I run into the living room grab some cash and a card that was lying around (very classy) I pick up a pen. ok here's what I'll do, I'll do this one incase she shows up on time and meanwhile I'll make a better one while I wait. ok umm what do I write.

"c-click."
"hi sweetie."

Eek! My adrenalin hits the roof.

(gulp) "...hi beautiful."

I'm smiling ear to ear, bursting and struggling to get the cash in the card and card in the envelope, I 'casually' slink into the kitchen and struggle in the corner with this damn card out of sight.

"Eva showed me the skirts for Poland," I hear Sarah throw her stuff/crap on the couch and shuffle around a bit, "and they're not as bad as I thought."

I look around to make sure it looks ok. It looks awesome. She's going to totally cry. I think to myself, 'Oh my God! I can't wait to see her face when she comes into the kitchen! Come in the kitchen, DONT come in the kitchen, come in the kitchen, DONT come in..." This cycles through my head at a hundred cycles per second as I try to cram all this cash and card in this weird yellow envelope.

"...but do you know what's really exciting!?" She jumps/skips into joyfully into the kitchen plane tickets in hand.

"You cleaned the kitchen... it looks great." She sees the table and the candles as she's talking, and slows, not quite sure, "Look... I got... my tickets for... Poland..." her brain slows down and she starts taking it in.

She gives me a big beautiful hug as she looks at the table and starts to melts a little.

"Excellent, cause I have a present for your trip." I give her the card.

"oh sweetie..." melting she looks at the table, and at the candles and at the card, and at me "oh sweetie..."

And she totally melts. Dinner is perfect, the wine is perfect, she's perfect, it's all so... well... quite perfect. Then we go walk the patient and well fed puppy till sundown. It's an awesome kinda happy.


Today's Song of the Day is "Purple Rain" by Prince And The Revolution off his 1984 Album "Purple Rain."

Crazy Fact: He now lives in Toronto.

njoy