Summertime Student Blues

Dude. The student loan money is almost all run out... shit. It was a fun little run too. This getting a job thing really isn't looking so appealing right now. eek. Summer school it is. School makes me feel all lazy inside. I kinda like it, this unproductive vibe I got goin' on. mmm vibes 'n' rays.


Today's Song of the Day is "You Never Give Me Your Money" by The Beatles off there 1969 album "Abbey Road."

Crazy Fact: They're the fucking Beatles, jeezus.

njoy

Basements are Depressing

The world just looks a little shittier when looking at it through a basment window.

It makes me think of Steve McQueen. Why did he have to go an die? He was a totally realistic action hero, believable. Like he might be a guy you know or maybe even you. And likable. And tough but not because he was too stupid to feel the pain, but because he could fight through it. His face was expressive and his physical presence interesting. He'd do normal things and make them interesting. Not like Kommandant Arnold stilted, inhuman and fucking retarded (save Conan and Terminator.) Not a caracture of a human being.

Steve was always in solitary confinement struggling to maintain his sanity.


Today's Song of the Day is "Koyaanisqatsi" by Philip Glass off his 1983 film soundtrack "Koyaanisqatsi."

Crazy Fact: In the early '70s, he formed the Philip Glass Ensemble, a seven-piece group that had nowhere to play by art galleries and Max's Kansas City. Crazy!

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I Love The Law.

I don't want to be a security guard at a Motörhead concert when I grow up.

There was only one room you could drink in. It was well lit and packed with tatoos and leather. The problem with this sort of set up is people pound them back and go back to the show no leisurely sips while enjoying the Motörheadian nuances. pound it and dig in to the mass and of course like any other high school dance we had to get ripped before we showed, it was Motörhead after all.

Since the ticket read no-re-entry there was an envitablity, smoking. People just lit up. The security guard tells them to put it out and they do, then move somewhere else and light another. So I'm standing around drinking in the drinking area, drinking waay to fast.

I look to the left and there is a criminally leathered, criminally tatooed, and most importantly criminally attitudified Metal King lounging at a table taking up as much space as possible with his Metal Queen on his lap snaping her gum, both smoking cigarettes. I know they are trying to scare me with the totally unoriginal manufactured look, and truthfully, it's working. A beefy security guard walks up, leans in and asks him to put it out. The Metal Lord slouched in his throne, looks at the cigarette, nods, taps the ash off it, looks the security guard back in the eye keeps smoking in utter disreguard of the law and this authority enforcing it. OF COURSE! This is a Motörhead show of course there will be a beligerant and generally anti-authoritarian bent to the crowd. even if just for tonight.

It was then I realize just how much I have to fear. The Law and general politeness is the only thing keeping me alive. As far as that whole survival of the fittest thing goes... anarchy would judge me not fit to live. If this went bad it could go so very very bad. Fortunately or unfortunately the only thing of value I have to lose in this situation is my life.

Fortunately I escaped with my life, unfortunately I was slopped and committed a number of gruesome Public Displays of Affection. If it was High School, it would have been my proudest moment. It, however, was not.


Today's Song of the Day is "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama" by Frank Zappa & Mothers of Invention off his 1970 album "Weasels Ripped My Flesh."

Crazy Fact: His Record Label, Verve, insisted on adding "of Invention" to the band's name.

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Give Me That Rockin' Head.

It was a metal show a real one, Blinding lights, Marshall stacks, Crowd surfing, that glow of light around the silouette in front of you, the ghostly faces of hundreds behind and

so
very
loud.

So many metalheads. I had no idea there were so many men of the metal in this city. Every 30-Something corporate sell-out must've dusted off there leathers and Metallica T-shirts to relive the old days. I was mostly a poser. They may drive their mazdaerwhatever to their cubical, calculator and speed dial everyday but I betcha they know more of the lyrics than me. Actually I'm just a reformed corporate sell-out... who doesn't know the lyrics to 'Ace of Spades' let alone ANYTHING ELSE. So they are one rung higher then me on the coolness later that night I suppose.

Curses! I'll get you for this Corporate Sell-out Man!
I wonder who the supervillian is in this? Not easy so to determine. hmm.

anyway... Rock Rocks! more rock shows! more rock shows! don't make me MOVE goddamn it. next bring RADIOHEAD! It can't be that hard to replace a motor with a radio.

DO it!


Of COURSE Today's Song of the Day is "Ace of Spades" off their 1980 Album "Ace of Spades."

Crazy Fact: Lead Singer Lemmy Kilmister was born on Christmas Eve and briefly worked as a roadie for Jimi Hendrix.

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Made You Look.

I got over 5000 hits. that's pretty good. I'm quite pleased. actually I was pretty happy at one hundred. thank you reader people, sitting in front of your glowing screens in rooms other than this one reading my stuff. me like. me appreciate. I know is the same five people visiting 1000 times each, but it's nice to know you care. sigh.


Today's Song of the Day is "Me And My Friends" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers off therir 1987 album "The Uplift Mofo Party Plan."

Crazy fact: Gitaurist Hillil Slovak died of a heroin overdose the year following this albums' release and drummer Jack Irons quit the band after from the depression of the loss.

njoy

me sing when loud when drunk.

I once argued that this was the greatest Pop song ever written. I was committed to this position, so it was convincing just on the basises of my conviction. I was wrong. but I still love it. totally love it, the swells, the contrasts, the duet harmony, the piano, the explosions of sound the wind effects. To me it sounds like the end of an era of music. They never made a song like this again. It's like what '18 and Life' was to hair metal, Grunge and Alt took the metal heads away. Nirvana was the executioners axe to metal, GnR hold bearly hold it together against them. the truth was GnR was a great metal band but nirvana was better music. sorry wife beater your out. Jane's Addiction has you beat... anyway this song has something seventies in it's production that was past its prime so kind of hits a softspot with me. Like fistful of wilted daisies or Arriving muddy and late to the prom. Like the perfect sad faced clown of pop music.

me like.

(I can't believe they use sleighbells!)


Today's Song of the Day is "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler off her 1982 album "Faster Than the Speed of Night."

Crazy Fact: Nodules on her vocal cords prevented her from singing full time until 1976, when she underwent an operation to have them removed. The surgery left her with a fucking cool, raspy, husky voice.

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Justice.

I couldn't imagine being strapped down to a table in front of a dozen people and killed in front of there eyes. I couldn't handle knowing someone payed 150 bucks to be the guy to do it. The fact that the state is doing it would be surreal. but the idea that I was innocent yet stood convicted and put to death for the murder of my own children would be...I am at a lost for words.

wow. texas might be the worst place in north america.


Today's Song of the Day is "Requiem: i. introditus" Performed by Herbert Von Karajan & The Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, Anna Tomowa-Sintow, Agnes Baltsa, Werner Krenn, José van Dam, Wiener Signverein, Recorded in 1976, Composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Crazy Fact: Herbert Von Karajan, along with Akio Morita and Norio Ohga (president and vice-president respectively, of Japanese Sony Group), unveiled and presented the Compact Disc Digital Audio System in 1981.

njoy

Listen buddy, it's about the Music.

The most beautiful song I've heard in a while.

Passing Afternoon by Iron and Wine

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon
Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon
And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her
Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days
Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made
And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings
Sunday pulls its children from the piles of fallen leaves

There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass
Springtime calls her children until she let's them go at last
And she's chosen where to be, though she's lost her wedding ring
Somewhere near her misplaced jar of Bougainvillea seeds

There are things we can't recall, Blind as night that finds us all
Winter tucks her children in, her fragile china dolls
But my hands remember hers, rolling around the shaded ferns
Naked arms, her secrets still like songs I'd never learned

There are names across the sea, only now I do believe
Sometimes, with the window closed, she'll sit and think of me
But she'll mend his tattered clothes and they'll kiss as if they know
A baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone


Today's Song of the Day is "Passing Afternoon" by Iron And Wine off there 2004 album "Our Endless Numbered Days."

Crazy Fact: Iron and Wine is the stage name for one Samuel Beam, a Florida native that made his name by releasing lo-fi tapes in miami.

njoy

At Night.

'Is Sarah Calling the Police?'
'Yes.'
'Fuck.'
'I think he is moving, I saw him moving.'
'Fuck.'
'Tell them there mugging him now.'
'Jesus.'
'Jesus.'

When I got to him he was breathing.

He was lying flat on his back. naked from the waist up. his bloody shirt was a few feet away. He face was swollen... badly swollen all over. I asked his name. he didn't repond. His face was covered in blood in varying degrees of drying or bleeding there was a puddle of blood on the pavement, bigger then anything I'd ever seen.

I looked down the street and waved down a police car coming around the corner. The Police Officer asked him his name. I saw the ambulance down the street I waved them over. She asked me more questions, maybe it's a generational thing but giving the police personal information makes me nervous. Authority is not to be trusted. Esspecially not at face value. But this guy was bleeding everwhere and I saw almost everything.

the ambulance guys asked me what happened, so they got out the neck brace and the stretcher, I was relieved they got his name out of him. 'ok ricky we are going to get this brace on you. ready?'

man if I was lying there... jesus.

She said someone would be by to talk to me later so I went back in the bar and waited.

I thought about breaking the law. We do it all the time. Not just jay walking either. I was with a guy earlier than night buying drugs. I know of at least two people who drove under the influence. I saw at least four joints sparked up. I ripped off the ferry by 25 cents. I was definitely publicly intoxicated. And it's not the first time for any of this stuff. It makes you wonder if anyone gets caught ever, and if they do.... If you happen to be the sucker that's in the wrong place at the wrong time and you get arrested then you only go to jail if you don't have the money to get away with it. (OJ you killed the mother of your children.) So Jails are filled with those not just unlucky or just poor, but only if you are Poor AND Unlucky. Just like monopoly.

I still remember the look on the guys face as he walked by me, fear masked in agression. Fear held static by fists clenched. Eyes looking at me through the glass unsure but ready. Jaw clenched, body stiff with rage. Not ready to ask questions, but ready to answer in anyone in raw agression. He was acting as his own Bodyguard, under the orders of fear. He walked at a quick pace, away.

Hey, they want to talk to you again...

'Are you willing to fill out a sworn statement?'
'Sure.'

Wow cop vision makes me aware of how drunk I am jesus.

'ok well There were two groups of guys arguing a group of two and of four over there on the corner. The bigger group started running the smaller group gave chase. I got the fuck...er I got out of the way. I came in here. When I looked back out there was a man lying face down on the ground, not moving, arms by his side, I thought he was dead and then the other man was kicking him in the head repeatedly. His head was like a coconut in a potato sack. It was fucking awful. He was just lying there not moving and the guy was taking steps back to wind up for huge kicks at his head. I checked that Sarah was calling the cops, she was I gave her an update. They took his wallet and his jacket and his shirt. I went out and everyone was gone accept the guy on the ground lying on his back not moving. I could hear him gurgling so I knew he was alive, he face was a mess. Then you guys showed up.'

'Well the hospital says he is ok.'
'Good good.'

It was dawn by the time we started home.


Today's Song of the Day is "Requiem For Soprano, Mezzo Soprano, Two Mixed Choirs & Orchestra" composed by Gyorgy Ligeti, Conducted by Francis Travis from the 1968 album "2001: A Space Odyssey Original Motion Picture Soundtrack."

Crazy Fact: Ligeti was born on May 28, 1923, in the Transylvanian town of Dicsöszentmárton, Romania. Dude, maybe HE'S Dracula. and Dude he was born in a Disco! He was Made for music.

njoy

On My Return

I went up the back stairs palms sweaty. I didn't know what to think. She had become a memory and an abstraction in the Ten Days I've been away transforming my mind in Europe. I knew that would happen, the transformation I mean, and I worried this sweaty palm thing into existence somewhere over the Atlantic.

In England, I pictured seeing her again, many times in my head and in the plane and the airport and in the other plane and in the other airport and in the car and at home and then in the car again and when walking down the street and now going up the stairs. Everytime I ran through it it was a little different. I thought that 8 hour flight was long... jeezus how many fucking stairs are on this stair case, too many and not enough.

What if I was crazy? What if it's nothing. It's a bag of hot air puffed by hope soon to be slowly deflating with the high pitched whine of dissapointment. God what if it's not what if this is one of the 'big ones.' jeesus. I've been getting used to the the dissappointing kind for a while now, maybe I'd perfer it was one of those. I think I could handle that. Disappointment requires very little commitment. But worse still what if she's THE big one. I'm getting old enough to hit THE big one. terrifyingly promising. This thought is too big to fit in my head, so let's hose it down, cool it off and stick it up in the clouds somewhere beside the winning 649 ticket.

Reconnecting is strange. There is a tightness in your chest that releases, there is a opening somewhere in your gut and a rising up of something and then a warmth. it's really something. You can only feel it after a real distance and with a mutual desire to reconnect. It's been a while since I've cooked up those ingredients. if you think it smells good, well shit you should try it, deee-licious.

We were at the rock show, The Weakerthans. It was really good. So was the band, but I could see the music in her body in her fist and her smile and her neck and on her lips. It was on her skin, it was rewarding. Her eyes flashed with it. IT was encouraging. I wasn't crazy, and more... it keeps coming. All that I saw before was still there, Paris didn't take it away, nor did my fear and even better, more, there's more she's still happening. Not frozen in my mind like she was but I could take her off pause and see more. I forgot about that. She'd spent so much time on pause in an emotional statis. I was half expecting to come back to judge what I'd already seen, but I didn't get a chance. She was still happening. I can get so stuck in my head sometimes.

Fear is frozen in time. It's a moment of fear, the fear is the cresendo of an awful turn of imagined events. It a bottle neck in a path. The squeeze on a choice. Fear is trying to help, but you have to try to make sure it doesn't squeeze the life out of you, you can't let it get too strong, you gotta take it on every now and then, or that imaginary fucker'll kick the crap out of your choices. haHA! I am Zorro!


Today's Song of the Day is "Left And Leaving" by The Weakerthans off there 2000 album "Left And Leaving."

Crazy Fact: The Weakerthans took their name from a line from the film adaptation of Marguerite Duras' The Lover: "Go ahead, I'm weaker than you can possibly imagine."

njoy

More Lists of Geek-Geekery

ok I admit it. No one wants to see these lists but I'm such a geek I just can't help myself.

Song of the Day Volume 2 (alphabetical order by artist)

California Love - 2Pac - 1995
Bonita Applebum - A Tribe Called Quest - 1990
Can I Kick It? - A Tribe Called Quest - 1990
Ride On - AC/DC - 1975
Fanfare For The Common Man - Adrian Leaper - 1942
Dude (Looks Like a Lady) - Aerosmith - 1987
Eye In The Sky - Alan Parsons Project - 1982
School's Out - Alice Cooper - 1972
X Is Black Amiri Baraka - 1996
Honeysuckle Rose - Anita O'Day - 1955
The Girl From Ipanema - Antonio Carlos Jobim, Stan Getz - 1963
A Natural Woman (You Make Me Feel Like) - Aretha Franklin - 1968
Chain of Fools - Aretha Franklin - 1968
Brass Monkey - Beastie Boys - 1986
Sabrosa - Beastie Boys - 1994
Help! - The Beatles - 1965
Yesterday - The Beatles - 1965
Birthday - The Beatles - 1968
Blackbird - The Beatles - 1968
Truckdrivin Neighbors Downstairs (Yellow Sweat) - Beck - 1994
Waiting On An Angel - Ben Harper - 1994
Widow of a Living Man - Ben Harper - 1997
Dog Got A Bone - The Beta Band - 1997
Don't Explain - Billie Holiday - 1936
Think Again - Billy Bragg - 1999
Me & Mrs. Jones - Billy Paul - 1972
Sweet Leaf - Black Sabbath - 1971
Song 2 - Blur - 1997
Girl from the North Country - Bob Dylan - 1963
Masters of War - Bob Dylan - 1963
A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan - 1963
Do You Love Me Now? - Breeders - 1993
Divine Hammer - Breeders - 1993
Drivin' On 9 - Breeders - 1993
Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen - 1975
State Trooper - Bruce Springsteen - 1982
Blue Suede Shoes - Carl Perkins - 1956
Bonanza Ska - Carlos Malcolm & His Afro Jamaican Rhythms - 1964
Tequila - The Champs - 1958
I Fought the Law - The Clash - 1979
Easy - Commodores - 1977
Machine Gun - Commodores - 1974
Nightshift - Commodores - 1985
Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - 1970
Lullaby - Cure - 1989
Fascination Street - Cure - 1989
Pictures Of You - Cure - 1989
The Smell Of Gas - Danny Michel - 1999
Take Five - Dave Brubeck Quartet - 1959
Please Mr. Gravedigger - David Bowie - 1967
Space Oddity - David Bowie - 1969
Ashes To Ashes - David Bowie - 1980
Five Years - David Bowie - 1972
California Über Alles - Dead Kennedys - 1980
Monkey Ska - Derrick Harriot - 1971
Toxic Avenger - The Dickies - 1994
The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground - 1990
Untitled - DJ Shadow - 1996
...Meets His Maker - DJ Shadow - 2002
Greenshirt (Demo) - Elvis Costello - 1978
Almost Blue - Elvis Costello & The Attractions - 1982
Pump It Up - Elvis Costello & The Attractions - 1978
Boy With A Problem - Elvis Costello & The Attractions - 1981
Mirror In The Bathroom - The English Beat - 1980
Slow Ride - Foghat - 1975
Funky Dollar Bill - Funkadelic - 1970
Didn't Leave Nobody But The Baby - Gillian Welch, Allison Krauss & Emmylou Harris - 2001
Aria - Glenn Gould - 1741
Sonata No. 13 "Sonata quasi una fantasia" - Glenn Gould - 1800
Sonata No. 14 "Moonlight" : i. Adagio - Glenn Gould - 1801
Sonata No. 14 "Moonlight" : iii. Presto agitato - Glenn Gould - 1801
Sonata No. 8 "Pathetique" : ii. Adagio - Glenn Gould - 1799
Typical American - The Goats - 1992
Hey, Good Lookin' - Hank Williams - 1951
Your Cheatin' Heart - Hank Williams - 1952
Requiem: No. 2 - Herbert Von Karajan - 1791
Schwanengesang - Hermann Prey & Philippe Bianconi - 1828
Search & Destroy - Iggy & The Stooges - 1973
Lust For Life - Iggy Pop - 1977
The Passenger - Iggy Pop - 1977
Port of Rico - Illinois Jacket (Jean Baptiste) - 1951
2 Minutes To Midnight - Iron Maiden - 1984
Run To The Hills - Iron Maiden - 1982
Posters - Jack Johnson - 2000
Bubble Toes - Jack Johnson - 2000
I Want You Back - The Jackson 5 - 1969
Try Me - James Brown - 1958
Travelling Without Moving - Jamiroquai - 1996
Jane Says - Jane's Addiction - 1988
Stop - Jane's Addiction - 1990
All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix - 1968
When It's Springtime In Alaska - Johnny Cash - 1965
Delia's Gone - Johnny Cash - 1962
Full Grown - Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - 1994
Roadrunner - Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - 1977
Dodge Veg-O-Matic - Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - 1977
Egyptian Reggae - Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - 1977
Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell - 1970
Woodstock - Joni Mitchell - 1970
The Gambler - Kenny Rogers - 1978
Like Irregular Chickens - Kid Koala - 2000
Barhopper 2 - Kid Koala - 2000
Groove Me - King Floyd - 1971
Transistor - Kraftwerk - 1975
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You - Led Zeppelin - 1969
Ramble On - Led Zeppelin - 1969
Bron-Yr-Aur - Led Zeppelin - 1975
Mr. Cab Driver - Lenny Kravitz - 1989
Symphony No. 7: ii. Allegretto - Leonard Bernstein - 1812
Democracy - Leonard Cohen - 1996
Big Car Blues - Lightnin' Hopkins - 1981
Perfect Day - Lou Reed - 1972
Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye - 1973
Teardrop - Massive Attack - 1998
Monkey Man - The Maytals - 1970
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson - 1982
Shop Around - The Miracles - 1960
Polar Opposites - Modest Mouse - 1997
Bankrupt on Selling - Modest Mouse - 1997
Harvest - Neil Young - 1972
Red Right Hand - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - 1994
My Baby Just Cares For Me - Nina Simone - 1957
You Are My Sunshine - Norman Blake - 2001
Try a Little Tenderness - Otis Redding - 1966
Opening - Philip Glass - 1992
Astronomy Domine - Pink Floyd - 1967
Bike - Pink Floyd - 1967
Monkey Gone to Heaven - Pixies - 1989
Gigantic - Pixies - 1988
Sally MacLennane - The Pogues - 1985
Be My Girl-Sally - The Police - 1978
Let's Go Crazy - Prince - 1984
Fight The Power - Public Enemy - 1990
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen - 1975
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen - 1978
Another One Bites The Dust - Queen - 1980
Talk Show Host - Radiohead - 1996
Bullet Proof.. I Wish I Was - Radiohead - 1995
Legal Age Life At Variety Store - Rheostatics - 1992
19th Nervous Breakdown - The Rolling Stones - 1966
Echoes of Harlem - Roy Elridge & Oscar Peterson - 1953
De Camino a La Vereda - Ry Cooder & Ibrahim Ferrer - 1997
Candela - Ry Cooder & Ibrahim Ferrer - 1997
The Pricketty Bush - Sarah Anna Tuck & Julia Scaddon - 1949
Quia Ergo Femina Mortem Instruxit - Sequentia - 1145
God Save The Queen - Sex Pistols - 1977
Who Are Parents - Shaggs - 1969
Dancin' Homer - The Simpsons - 1997
The Good In Everyone - Sloan - 1996
The Lines You Amend - Sloan - 1996
How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths - 1985
Non-Addictive Marijuana - Supersuckers - 1997
Nobody's Business But My Own - Taj Mahal - 1971
Railroad Bill - Taj Mahal - 1988
Time - Tom Waits - 1985
Wild Thing - Tone Loc - 1989
Wheat Kings - The Tragically Hip - 1993
Long Time Running - The Tragically Hip - 1991
Where The Streets Have No Name - U2 - 1987
Rabbit In Your Headlights - Unkle - 1998
Crazy Love - Van Morrison - 1970
Tears In Rain - Vangelis - 1982
Sweet Jane - Velvet Underground - 1970
Your Southern Can Is Mine - The White Stripes - 2000
Spare Ass Annie - William S. Burroughs - 1993
Tush - ZZ Top - 1975


Today's Song of the Day is "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2 off their 1987 Album "Joshua Tree."

Crazy Fact: The Joshua Tree became the band's first American number one hit and its third straight album to enter the U.K. charts at number one; in England, it set a record by going platinum within 28 hours.

njoy

e-mail, e-mail my Kingdom for e-mail!

It's always the way. When trying to do the 'right' thing that things go so very wrong. Esspecially with computers. So far to fall. such a painfull lonely thud when you hit the bottom. groan.

I was trying to archive my Sent Mail and I fucking lost all 901.8 MBs of it.

wow. what a kick in the balls. Who wants to Archive there mail? uugh. I was avoiding it for months, but it was the 'right' thing to do. So I picked the perfect moment for failure.

and I'm the computer geek in the room. Well, actually I'm the only one in the room. but still. I'm a geek. shit man. Why am *I* the Guy with the 7 year old computer? It was made in 1998, dude, It's ancient. goddamn Macs just never die. If it would just die then I'd be forced into buying another one, or maybe steal one... OK I take it back don't die mister computer yer all I got. We can still be friends even though you ate 2148 e-mail messages.


Today's Song of the Day is "Underwhelmed" by Sloan off their 1993 album "Smeared."

Crazy Fact: umm... twice removed got voted best canadian album of all-time, byt ummm someone who felt important enough to make that classification... cbc or something, maybe socan? I don't know.

njoy

Think Old

Conservatives are idiots. Whether it's the new pope, who according to the New York Times is "John Paul II, without the imagination' (wow. a new low, I didn't know it was possible. I thought the same of George Bush though and then they voted him in again. double wow.) or our own king idiot the next Prime Minister of Canada Preston Stockwell Steven Harper III, there's the zit on the longest list of dumbasses in Canadian history, an ass that is going to take a shit on civil rights faster than you can say 'vote of non-confidence.' Even then Offical Canadian Jackass Brian Mulroney, let we forget, would only take our money not our rights. Take the worst of both camps and form a new sub-creature of stupidity. I would say he'll never win, but I said the same thing about George Bush.

Remember the Spanish Revolution, comrades.


Today's Song of the Day is "Fight for Your Right" by the Beastie Boys off there 1986 debut "License to Ill"

Crazy Fact: I still can't believe they toured with Madonna on her Like A Prayer Tour... Jesus. Whose bright idea?

njoy

Eat Sleep Man Woman

While in Florida watching Spongebob on Nickelodeon I learned a little something my girlfriend prooved to me in bed. I'm not sure that sentence works but WHATEVA... I fart a lot. When your in bed you fart, you take a sniff make sure all is well down there and hit the snooze bar. Add a girlfriend and it's a little different... insert fear between fart and sniff and keep the fear cranked until you are sure it's bad. Then sheepishly murmer:


P: I farted and I'm sorry, it's bad, quite bad. Sorry.

S: I'm sure it not tha -GOOD LORD!

P: but it was SOO littLE! I had NO IDEA...

S: Jesus SAVE ME!

P: Yeah... it's bad. The thing is you don't want to breath through you nose 'cause of the smell and if you breathe through your mouth... well then you are tasting air that came out of my ass... even if you can't taste it...

S: (stunned pause) GROSS!!

P: Sometimes they're quiet and DON'T STINK I can't figure it..

S: Dude, you fart ALOT!

P: Really?

S: really.


As I lied there I remembered something I saw in between episodes of Spongebob. If you eat Meat your farts smell really bad and are small and if you eat vegitables you have a lot to fart but they don't REALLY smell. I think it's only Fair to the Girlfriend that I become a Vegitarian.


Today's Song of the Day is "Collard Greens and Black-Eyed Peas" by Bud Powell off his 1953 compliation "The Best Of Bud Powell."

Crazy Fact: In a racial incident, he was beaten on the head by police; Powell never fully recovered and would suffer from bad headaches and mental breakdowns throughout the remainder of his life.

njoy

Back In My Day

By the overwhelming request (or shock at my amazing geek geekery) I will also publish the Playlist of Volume One.

Song of the Day Volume 1 (Chronological Order)

Concerto No. 4 in F minor: Winter - Nigel Kennedy - 1725
Fantasy-Impromptu - Vladimir Horowitz - 1834
Nocturne in F Minor - Vladimir Horowitz - 1842
Wedding March - Hamburg Symphony Orchestra - 1848
Hungarian Dance No. 5 - Johannes Brahms - 1858
Morgenstimmung - Leonard Bernstein - 1875
In der Halle des Bergkönigs - Leonard Bernstein - 1875
Also Sprach Zarathustra - Herbert Von Karajan - 1898
The Planets: iv. Jupiter - London Festival Orchestra - 1915
I'm Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Letter - Fats Waller - 1929
Don't Let It Bother You - Fats Waller - 1934
Sabre Dance - Evgeni Svetlanov - 1943
Roller Coaster - Henri Rene & His Orchestra And Chorus - 1951
Swingcussion - Sauter-Finegan Orchestra - 1955
Steel Bones - Bernie Green & His Guitar Orchestra - 1959
They Can't Take That Away from Me - Ella Fitzgerald - 1959
Nice Work If You Can Get It - Ella Fitzgerald - 1959
Dimples - John Lee Hooker - 1960
Caravan - Sir Julian - 1960
Unsquare Dance - Dave Brubeck Quartet - 1961
Please Mr. Postman - The Marvelettes - 1961
Scream! - Ralph Nielsen and The Chancellors - 1961
Caravan - The Three Suns - 1961
Boom Boom - John Lee Hooker - 1962
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right - Bob Dylan - 1963
James Bond Theme - Monty Norman Orchestra - 1963
Pipeline - The Ventures - 1963
I Get Around - Beach Boys - 1964
Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra - 1964
You Really Got Me - The Kinks - 1964
Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey - 1964
Love And Marriage - Frank Sinatra - 1965
My Generation - The Who - 1965
Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles - 1966
It Serves You Right To Suffer - John Lee Hooker - 1966
Monday, Monday - Mamas & The Papas - 1966
Ain't Too Proud To Beg - Temptations - 1966
The Letter - Box Tops - 1967
For What It's Worth - Buffalo Springfield - 1967
I'm Waiting For The Man - Velvet Underground - 1967
Heroin - Velvet Underground - 1967
While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The Beatles - 1968
Happiness Is A Warm Gun - The Beatles - 1968
Vodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix - 1968
Cocaine Blues (live) - Johnny Cash - 1968
A Hazy Shade Of Winter - Simon & Garfunkel - 1968
Hey Bulldog - The Beatles 1969
All Together Now - The Beatles - 1969
Both Sides, Now - Joni Mitchell - 1969
Going To California Led Zeppelin - 1969
Dazed And Confused - Led Zeppelin - 1969
Pinball Wizard - The Who - 1969
Paranoid - Black Sabbath - 1970
Up Around the Bend - Creedence Clearwater Revival - 1970
War - Edwin Starr - 1970
Lola - The Kinks - 1970
After The Goldrush - Neil Young - 1970
Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers - 1971
Changes - David Bowie - 1971
Theme from Shaft - Isaac Hayes - 1971
Mercedes Benz - Janis Joplin & the Full Tilt Boogie Band - 1971
Working At The Car Wash Blues - Jim Croce - 1971
River - Joni Mitchell - 1971
What's Going On - Marvin Gaye - 1971
Bitch - The Rolling Stones - 1971
Baba O'Riley - The Who - 1971
Hockey Night in Canada - CBC Television - 1972
King Heroin - James Brown - 1972
The Needle And The Damage Done - Neil Young - 1972
Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard - Paul Simon - 1972
Superstition - Stevie Wonder - 1972
Buck Dancer's Choice - Taj Mahal - 1972
Cakewalk Into Town - Taj Mahal - 1972
Papa Was A Rolling Stone - Temptations - 1972
Stir It Up - Bob Marley & The Wailers - 1973
September Gurls - Big Star - 1974
Kung-Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas - 1974
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - Elton John - 1974
This Flight Tonight - Nazareth - 1974
Love Hurts - Nazareth - 1975
Low Rider - War - 1975
Pablo Picasso - Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - 1976
Detroit Rock City - Kiss - 1976
Sugar Mountain - Neil Young - 1976
The Piano Has Been Drinking - Tom Waits - 1976
The Boys In The Bright White Sports Car - Trooper - 1976
Three Little Birds - Bob Marley & The Wailers - 1977
Jump Up - Elvis Costello - 1977
Poison Moon - Elvis Costello - 1977
Black Betty - Ram Jam - 1977
Teenage Lobotomy - Ramones - 1977
Heart Of Glass Blondie - 1978
Roxanne - The Police - 1978
I Wanna Be Sedated - Ramones - 1978
Video Killed the Radio Star - Buggles - 1979
Catholic Girls - Frank Zappa - 1979
Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - Frank Zappa - 1979
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor - 1979
A Message To Rudy - The Specials - 1979
Redemption Song - Bob Marley & The Wailers - 1980
The Number Of The Beast - Iron Maiden - 1982
Walking In Your Footsteps - The Police - 1983
King Of Pain - The Police - 1983
Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats - 1983
Please Do Not Go - Violent Femmes - 1983
Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart - 1984
When Doves Cry - Prince - 1984
Close To Me - Cure - 1985
Yertile The Turtle - Red Hot Chili Peppers - 1985
Kiss - Prince - 1986
If I Was Your Girlfriend - Prince - 1987
It's the End of the World as We Know It - R.E.M. - 1987
Dear God - XTC - 1987
One - Metallica - 1988
Where is My Mind? - Pixies - 1988
Every Rose Has It's Thorn Poison - 1988
Don't Believe The Hype - Public Enemy - 1988
Bring Tha Noize - Public Enemy & Anthrax - 1988
Children's Story - Slick Rick - 1988
The Sounds of Science - Beastie Boys - 1989
God's Comic - Elvis Costello - 1989
Tame - Pixies - 1989
Here Comes Your Man - Pixies - 1989
Debaser - Pixies - 1989
Wave of Mutilation - Pixies - 1989
I Remember You - Skid Row - 1989
Back To Life - Soul II Soul - 1989
Sometimes I Rhyme Slow - Nice & Smooth - 1991
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana - 1991
Territorial Pissings - Nirvana - 1991
U-Mass - Pixies - 1991
Fiddler's Green - The Tragically Hip - 1991
Earth Died Screaming - Tom Waits - 1992
Cannonball - Breeders - 1993
I Am The Cancer - Sloan - 1993
Informer - Snow - 1993
Root Down - Beastie Boys - 1994
Loser - Beck - 1994
Nitemare Hippy Girl - Beck - 1994
Forever - Ben Harper - 1994
Walk Away - Ben Harper - 1994
Girls & Boys - Blur - 1994
Protection - Massive Attack - 1994
Better Things - Massive Attack - 1994
Light Of Some Kind - Ani DiFranco - 1995
Another Lonely Day - Ben Harper - 1995
High and Dry - Radiohead - 1995
Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead - 1995
Black Star - Radiohead - 1995
Street Spirit (Fade Out) - Radiohead - 1995
I Will Survive - Cake - 1996
Midnight In A Perfect World - DJ Shadow - 1996
Stoplight Politics - Ruth Forman - 1996
Everything You've Done Wrong - Sloan - 1996
Crackity Jones - Pixies - 1997
Paranoid Android - Radiohead - 1997
Barricade - Supersuckers - 1997
Pitseleh - Elliott Smith - 1998
Jimmy James - Beastie Boys - 1999
Walk Away Renee - Billy Bragg - 1999
Teenage FBI - Guided By Voices - 1999
Happy Birthday, Mr. Burns - The Simpsons - 1999
We Love To Smoke - The Simpsons - 1999
Try Again - Aaliyah - 2000
Black Jesus - Everlast - 2000
The Hampsterdance Song - Hampton the Hampster - 2000
Something Nice - Mike O'Neill - 2000
Big Rock Candy Mountain - Harry McClintock - 2001
O Death - Ralph Stanley - 2001
Wonderboy - Tenacious D - 2001


Today's Song of the Day is "Growin' Up" by Bruce Springsteen off his 1973 Album "Greetings from Asbury Park N.J."

Crazy Fact: But then came Born in the U.S.A. (June 1984) threw off seven hit singles and sold over ten million copies. fucking CRAZY!

njoy

Your, like, Ten!

Romeo and Juliet were like 13 years old. That's the joke. That's the Joke that no one really gets. When you were 13 you fell in love with the love of your life on a weekly basis, passionately, with all your soul, how could you not. You've only knows like 2 years of sexual awareness and like 10 years of life. It's amazing. Life is still happening to you for the first time and This 'love' thing is so new and intense, it's immpossible not to feel it as much as your little hormnoally flooded body is capable. I've never been so in love in my whole life, oh and look I've started growing pubes.

It's not like you gone through years of romantic disappointment, it's still in it's purest form untainted by fear.

If Romeo saw juliet's dirty underwear and barbie doll collection she might have become a little less cool, a little less on the star-crossed love side of things.


Juliet: And then I went to Saks with beth and portia and... well anyway and this yellow skirt and you would have loved it, I almost got it, but, you were with mercuicio and I think you should shop with us again it was SOOO much fun... Oh Romeo, Romeo.

Romeo: yeah, I ment to bring this up yesterday but...

Juliet: my love you know you can tell me ANYTHING, please tell me your hearts...

Romeo: Actually Juliet, I think I gotta go. There is this girl in science class that has these really cool jeans. And those braces of yours are really smelly. anyway I asked her out.

Juliet: You suck! I hate you! I hate boys! I hate everything. get out GET OUT!

Romeo: What? You're freaking out! what's the problem? jeeze ok pycho.

Juliet: oh heavy day!

Romeo: Catch you on the flip-side, baby!

Juliet: I hate you. I hope you die. Dad was right monteques SUCK! my dad's gonna kick your dad's ASS.

Romeo: Whatever. Later.

Juliet: I have to go shopping.


Today's Song of the Day is "Thirteen" by Big Star off their 1972 debut album "No. 1 Album."

Crazy Fact: The name Big Star was borrowed the from a local supermarket chain.

njoy

Sunkissed

I didn't want to speak too soon but... wow summer is here.

this is really great news. Though I haven't suffered as much those around me a trip to Paris and Florida re-aquainted me with summer throughout winter. anyway warmth is well-recieved.


Today's Song of the Day is "Summertime" by Sidney Bechet off his 1939 album "Complete Blue Note Recordings."

Crazy Fact: between 1925-1929 sidney got in some trouble (including spending time in jail) in France and got deported. cool.

njoy

Finished Another Chapter.

I am a little crazy. Here are the last 158 songs I've sent out for the SOTD. This wack here makes up volume 4 of my ever growing musical obsession. I hit every year in the last 50... which is my goal. Kudos to the me! If you're nice to me I'll burn you an MP3 CD of it. Very nice.

Song of the Day Volume 4 (chronological order)

O Choruscans Stellarum - Sequentia - 1148
Prelude for Lute in C Minor - Andrés Segovia - 1714
Piano Concerto in F minor - Glenn Gould - 1717
Symphony No. 5 - Herbert Von Karajan - 1808
Nocturne in E Flat Major, - Artur Rubinstein - 1832
Etude in D sharp minor - Vladimir Horowitz - 1894
Pavane - Judi Silvano - 1899
Are You Lonesome Tonight? - Elvis Presley - 1927
Your Feets Too Big - Fats Waller - 1929
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes - The Platters - 1933
Old Man Mose - Louis Armstrong - 1935
Adagio for Strings - Leonard Bernstein - 1936
(Otto Make That) Riff Staccato - Duke Ellington - 1945
Backwater Blues (That Mean Ol' Twister) - Lightnin' Hopkins - 1946
Who's On First - Abbott & Costello - 1952
I Saw The Light - Hank Williams - 1952
Sans Souci - Peggy Lee - 1952
Rock Around The Clock - Bill Haley and His Comets - 1954
Mr. Sandman - Chordettes - 1954
April in Paris - Count Basie - 1955
Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) - Ella Fitzgerald - 1956
My Baby Left Me - Elvis Presley - 1956
Going Down The Road Feeling Bad - Elizabeth Cotten - 1957
Bye, Bye Love - The Everly Brothers - 1957
Just A Gigolo/ I Ain't Got Nobody - Louis Prima - 1957
Surrey with the Fringe on Top - Blossom Dearie - 1958
Great Balls Of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis - 1958
Lonesome Town - Ricky Nelson - 1959
Black Coffee - Julie London - 1960
Jump In The Line - Harry Belafonte - 1961
Baby Elephant Walk - Henry Mancini - 1962
Cristo Redentor - Donald Byrd - 1963
Ring Of Fire - Johnny Cash - 1963
Leader Of The Pack - Shangri-Las - 1964
Wednesday Morning, 3AM - Simon & Garfunkel - 1964
In My Life - The Beatles - 1965
Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan - 1965
It Was A Very Good Year - Frank Sinatra - 1965
I'm a Woman - Jim Kweskin & the Jug Band - 1965
Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones - 1965
Past, Present And Future - Shangri-Las - 1965
For No One - The Beatles - 1966
Just Like A Woman - Bob Dylan - 1966
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles - 1967
People Are Strange - The Doors - 1967
Love Me Two Times - The Doors - 1967
A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harem - 1967
I'm a Man - Spencer Davis Group - 1967
Piggies - The Beatles - 1968
Suzanne - Leonard Cohen - 1968
(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay - Otis Redding - 1968
Magic Bus - The Who - 1968
The House That Jack Built - Aretha Franklin - 1969
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band - 1969
Golden Slumbers - The Beatles - 1969
Can't Find My Way Home - Blind Faith - 1969
Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin - 1969
Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin - 1969
Real Cool Time - The Stooges - 1969
American Woman - The Guess Who - 1970
Oh! Sweet Nuthin' - Velvet Underground - 1970
The Seeker - The Who - 1970
Tired of Being Alone - Al Green - 1971
The Wind - Cat Stevens - 1971
When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin - 1971
Bang A Gong (Get It On) - T. Rex - 1971
Don't Do It - The Band - 1972
Get On The Good Foot - James Brown - 1972
Pink Moon - Nick Drake - 1972
The Great Gig In The Sky - Pink Floyd - 1972
Dueling Banjos - Eric Weissberg - 1973
Angie - The Rolling Stones - 1973
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel - 1973
Rock On - David Essex - 1974
The Payback - James Brown - 1974
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - John Lee Hooker - 1974
Walk This Way - Aerosmith - 1975
Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd - 1975
Better Off Without A Wife - Tom Waits - 1975
Dr. Funkenstein - Parliament - 1976
London's Burning - The Clash - 1977
Never Going Back Again - Fleetwood Mac - 1977
Dust in the Wind - Kansas - 1977
We're A Happy Family - Ramones - 1977
Take A Chance On Me - ABBA - 1978
Metropolis - Kraftwerk - 1978
My Way - Sid Vicious - 1978
Highway To Hell - AC/DC - 1979
The Rose - Bette Midler - 1979
Atomic - Blondie - 1979
Kinko the Clown - Ogden Edsl - 1979
Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd - 1979
Jersey Girl - Tom Waits - 1980
O Superman - Laurie Anderson - 1981
Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne - 1981
Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran - 1982
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby - 1982
Don't Go - Yaz - 1982
Rockit - Herbie Hancock - 1983
Little Red Corvette - Prince - 1983
Pride and Joy - Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble - 1983
Red Red Wine - UB40 - 1983
Summer 69 - Bryan Adams - 1984
Once In A Lifetime - Talking Heads - 1984
Money for Nothing - Dire Straits - 1985
Shout - Tears For Fears - 1985
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi - 1986
Master Of Puppets - Metallica - 1986
Welcome Home - Metallica - 1986
Black Eyed Dog - Nick Drake - 1986
Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes - Paul Simon - 1986
The Saturday Boy - Billy Bragg - 1987
With Or Without You - U2 - 1987
Stuart - Dead Milkmen - 1988
Standing In The Shower... Thinking - Jane's Addiction - 1988
Graffiti Limbo - Michelle Shocked - 1988
Wicked Game - Chris Isaak - 1989
Jenifa Taught Me (Derwin's Revenge) - De La Soul - 1989
Closer To Fine - Indigo Girls - 1989
Head Like A Hole - Nine Inch Nails - 1989
Hey - Pixies - 1989
Paris, Texas - Ry Cooder - 1989
Fools Gold - The Stone Roses - 1989
Free Fallin' - Tom Petty - 1989
Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning - Cowboy Junkies - 1990
Groove is in the Heart - Deee-Lite - 1990
Come As You Are - Nirvana - 1991
Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers - 1991
So What'cha Want - The Beastie Boys - 1992
Nobody Knows You When You're Down & Out - Eric Clapton - 1992
TV Cops - The Goats - 1992
Jump Around - House of Pain - 1992
Jesus Gonna Be Here - Tom Waits - 1992
I Don't Wanna Grow Up - Tom Waits - 1992
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy - Ren & Stimpy (Stinky Wizzleteeth) - 1993
You Had Time - Ani Difranco - 1994
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails - 1994
Army Of Me - Björk - 1995
It's Oh So Quiet - Björk - 1995
Building Steam With A Grain Of Salt - DJ Shadow - 1996
Cosmic Girl - Jamiroquai - 1996
Doin' Time - Sublime - 1996
Block Rockin' Beats - Chemical Brothers - 1997
Exit Music (For A Film) - Radiohead - 1997
Sexy Boy - Air - 1998
Cold Brains - Beck - 1998
Birds and Ships - Billy Bragg and Wilco - 1998
Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill - 1998
Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Lauryn Hill - 1998
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate - The Flaming Lips - 1999
Hold On Hope - Guided By Voices - 1999
Do - The White Stripes - 1999
Parachutes - Coldplay - 2000
Rose Rouge - St. Germain - 2000
The Littlest Birds - The Be Good Tanyas - 2001
Without Me - Eminem - 2002
Let's Get Retarded - Black Eyed Peas - 2003
Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes - 2003


Today's Song of the Day is "Ruhbarb Pie" by The Guthries off their 2000 album "Off Windmill."

Crazy Fact: These guys are local... umm... . Dale and Brian Murray are nephews of Anne Murray. That's kinda crazy. or how about this Album got the 'AMG Album Pick' on all-music guide. That's kinda nuts if you ask me.

njoy

olde badde moode

The bad mood goes WAAAY the fuck back. At least as old as emotion itself. I got a scoop of that this day. It's predictable. It's your garden variety 'up all not doing a paper' kind of bad mood. The worst is that when your done and you say, 'that's a piece of shit.' At least when I put in all the effort procrastinating, I like to have something I threw together at the last minute I can be proud of. Not this time. Cracks in it the size of the Grand Canyon. I'm having that expectation adjustment limbo. How looow can I gooo?

I hope I don't fall down. In this course it would just be embarrassing. This course is so lame I'd rather change my major than take it again. The worst part is I wish I was joking. If this course was Hobbiton and I, a Hobbit, I'd give Sauron the one Ring if he promised to wipe it out and make me an Orc. If I fail this course, it's like I'm at the 111 birthday party of Bilbo Baggins unable to get a drink, truly, outside the realm of natural law, challenging gravity itself. Nonetheless, here I am drinkless, almost floating, limboing low, willing myself into an Orc. I'll tell how it goes.


Today's Song of the Day is "Sympathy For The Devi" by The Rolling Stones off there 1968 Album "Beggars Banquet."

Crazy Fact: As reported on the CBC, the City of Moncton is trying to get the Rolling Stones to headline their Canada Day festivities. (celery says this is going to happen right after barbara streisand sings "people who need people" at the micmac friendship centre on gottingen street)

njoy

Lucky to be in Nova Scotia

Went to Duncan's Cove today in the beautiful sunshine. Amazing. Made me happy to be here. There haven't been a lot of things to make me happy to be here recently. I've been having too much life-threatening amazement 'abroad.' Nonetheless, today I felt very lucky to be hiking up and down huge grantic baoliths (sp? ROCKS) next to the ocean for 3 hours. Only ever seeing 1 other couple the whole time, no houses, no people, no cars, no unnatural sounds, just a sunny cloudless sky, miles of ocean, rocks, moss and Fiver. Fucking super fucking sweet. Colour, light and air forever it was a primal sort of beauty, undisturbed natural majesty.

Canada's OK after all.


Today's Song of the Day is "Piano Concerto No. 21 in C, K.467: ii. Andante" composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart in 1785.

Crazy Fact: Before age of 20 W.A. Mozart had written nine operas, five violin concertos, at least 30 symphonies, a sheaf of divertimentos and serenades, a ream of liturgical pieces, six sonatas, and six concertos for Piano. CRazY!

njoy

I Think I Know How to Use a Semi-Colon.

School is, like, totally almost over. I'm looking forward to it. Until then I have to find less obvious ways to procrastinate, till then; publishing my procrastination is a bit much.


Today's Song of the Day is "Pride and Joy" by Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble off his 1983 debut "Texas Flood."

Crazy Fact: In 1982, the band played the Montreux Festival and their performance caught the attention of David Bowie. Stevie Ray laid down the lead guitar tracks for what became Bowie's Let's Dance album in late 1982.

njoy

Now With Half the Calories!

Now when it comes to the Pope, I'm not all about the respect. I'm pretty glad he's dead. FINALLY. Hand me the living will I sign it NOW. I hope the Next Pope thinks it's Christian to prevent an entire continent from being wiped out by AIDS. If they cared about African lives as much they care about African souls maybe they'd start handing out condoms instead of condemning them. Perhaps then I could have respect, as it is, they might as be selling Pepsi, the Number on drink of the Afterlife.

I'm keeping my expectations low however. Just look at the track record.


Today's Song of the Day goes out to the Number One Guy in the Sky the Happiest Man to meet his Maker in the last 24 hours, Pope John Paul II, the Song "Better Off Without A Wife" by Tom Waits off his 1975 album "Nighthawks At The Diner."

Crazy Fact: This Crazy Cat was the First non-Italian Pope Ever. Dude! ciao baby!

njoy

The European Union at Dudes Table.

I'm terrified of my French on the Metro and their French on the bus, so I walk.

An hour and a half later. I get out of a Cab and I see a hungry Dennis, a sight unseen for 14 months. Oddly it was like yesterday, almost unnervingly so, except for the very first moment, I felt like I was meeting him at the Shoe for a Club Wrap and a Beer, except the Shoe was in Paris and an Italian restaurant and he had a girlfriend and no one spoke English. But the Dennis part was an island of familiarity in this crazy ancient fantasy world I climbed into.

Anjte (Dennis's Girlfriend) is speaking German to Mike, Italian to the Waiter, French to Jan and English to Me and throwing in a splash of Spanish for kicks and all of them to Dennis.

Pif: DUDE!

I said that a lot. Hardly English and Uber-north American. The Europeans were fascinated by my semi-coherent exclamations. I thought it was weird to Eat Italian in France, but it's as close to the real Italy as I've ever been so maybe it would be closer to real Italian food. We ate till forever. And there was much rejoicing.

Why can all these people speak all these languages? For shame North America. I felt so lame. Mostly we spoke English, which seems to be the worlds' lowest common denominator, But I wanted to carry on a conversation in one of these secret codes they all knew. I was SO NOT in there super cool European club. I felt like I might as well be an American. ick. not a good feeling.


Today's Song of the Day is "Metropolis" by Kraftwerk off their 1978 album "The Man Machine."

Crazy Fact: Rumour had it that they were robots.

njoy

marche et mange

We must've got lost EVERYTIME we left the house. But what a place to get lost. jeesus. If I have to get lost, I will gladly get lost in paris. For all the day, everyday, all we did is walk and eat. 23 Degrees and Sunny everyday.Total bliss. The metro is for suckers. cars are for fools. We could stop at anytime and stare at a plaque on the wall that was there since before Halifax was founded or take pictures of Dogs, find a statue or garden off the beaten path, catch a wiff of a crepery and get one for the walk. or Fromage or best yet Chocolate. wowwy wowwy wow wow. the chocolate, if for know other reason is a reason to go. Jeesus the chocolate, if I didn't walk 40 Km/ day I would have brought back a more than just memories with me. yum.


Today's Song of the Day is "Piggies" by The Beatles off their 1968 album "The Beatles"

Crazy Fact: Paul McCartney sucks my bag every single day.

njoy

Send out the Clowns

Our second apartment by Place D'Italie was full of Clowns.

It was like our apartment was the 'art' equivalent of a clown car. Art is used very loosely here, you must keep in mind this is like comparing the Shakespeare and to the ad lib yammering of a brainless Video DJ. Nonetheless. Clown Art. Everywhere Clowns. Creepy Crowns. Crowns that seem to watch you. Move when you're not looking. Pull down there pants a little further, scheme behind your back. filled with malevolence behind a unctuous facade. The walls of the room were bubbling with malice.


Pif: Celery, I'm not sure if I have the words.

Celery: Creepy doesn't do it justice.

Pif: I know.

Celery: I counted 102 pieces of clown 'art' -no wait, look another stained glass sucker to the window thing, 103.

Pif: ick.

Celery: Let's go.


Cabinets filled, walls covered, on the tv under the tv, bookends, in the bathroom, kitchen, everywhere. Wherever your eyes rested a new and terrible discovery, there was literally no escape. It was so creepy that I swear it was depressing... Paris just didn't quit, like nothing i'd ever seen, in a way I never expected, again and again.


Today's Song of the Day is "Kinko the Clown" by Ogden Edsl off the 1995 compilation "Mower of the Ogden Edsl."

Crazy Fact: I know NOTHING about Ogden Edsl.

njoy

London Derry Air.

Dude, I totally didn't like London as much as Paris. Except when I went into a bar. I felt a lot more at home in a rock 'n' roll pub style bar. And as I walked around like a big-assed tourist camera in-hand pointing at rats and buckaham palace and strange candy wrappers, I thought to myself dude these guys are speaking english. I was so used to struggling with french in paris... no wait, that's not what I was thinking, I was thinking 'dude... where the queen? Maybe she's sitting on the throne right now or maybe she's taking a crap.' ...no wait, that's not it, I don't remember what I was thinking but whatever it was I had this song going through my head the whole time.


Today's Song of the Day is "London's Burning" by The Clash off their 1979 album "The Clash."

Crazy Fact: The American division of CBS decided there album, The Clash wasn't fit for radio play, so it decided to not release the album. The import of the record became the largest-selling import of all time.

njoy

How Can I Possibly Concentrate?

DUDE! I forgot to tell you something, I'm going to Paris!

DUDE!

Why the HELL do I have to fly from Ottawa first? That's just lame. actually I don't fucking care. I'm just kinda trying to come up with a rant, for all I care we could stop in Moncton and North Bay I'm going to FUCKING PARIS!

I'm just trying to think of something to say besides:

!

!

!

'cause as it stands that's all I got.

ok.

I'm going to try and blog from La belle Paris (is it feminine? Je'n c'est pas.) But we will see. My eyes might have exploded in The Lovre or my brain may have fried in a café.

Me, in the Center of Style. Trouble. The holes in my clothes may be 'punk' here but there I'm sure it just plain 'street urchin.' I am primed for some Grade 'A' snobbery, parisian style. I can't wait. it will be awesome. I'll feel blessed by their snobbery.

Me: Dude that woman didn't look at me when you told me to Eat shit. ThAT wAs AWESome! And that tall salt-pepper guy in the Kick Ass blazer just spit on me! He hit me Right in the Eye! He's got Skillz. Let's do it again!

It's going to be like fair rides, terrified and exhilarated at the same time, totally out of my element. I am one with my embarrassment. It's pointless to fight it. It's utterly inevitable, much french is abhorrent, my english isn't even very good. I'm a slob and never been particularly good at caring what I look like. I'm going to go around crying and screaming and freaking out from one painting to sculpture to monument to another like the tasteless white-bread North American I am. I'm fucking doomed. I fucking love it.



Today's Song of the Day is "Sans Souci" by Peggy Lee and The Gordon Jenkins Orchestra off the 1952 Compliation "Black Coffee and Other Delights."

Crazy Fact: She's Cinderella. Her mother died when she was four and endured a difficult stepmother after her father remarried. (and two evil step sisters. And if Benny Goodman was the prince, then she married the princes guitar player, but I thought prince played guitar on his own albums? So Does that mean Peggy lee married Prince in 1942? that was before he was born? Fuck this world gets crazier ever freakin' day. wow I didn't even know that was legal. eek. I knew prince was sexy, but that's some sex appeal to get married before you were born. Damn!)

njoy

damn i'm happy.

damn i'm happy. (repeat (at the risk of repeating myself))

Please hear this song as:

The little-assed birds,
Sing the pretty-assed songs.

I think it's better that way.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Littlest Birds" by The Be Good Tanyas off their 2000 "Blue Horse."

Crazy Fact: The musicians played together for the first time in 1999, busking outside the Lilith Fair venue in Vancouver.

njoy

Stuff Your Freedom Fries up you ASS!

I'm a little worried about being thought to be an american. My French is awful. Bloddy awful. I'm white as hell and don't have an British Accent. Americans are calling themselves Canadian to get by over there. It bites. I'm desperate to speak french for that reason, it's all I got.

And speaking French is kinda like chop-sticks. A little bit hard to do, easier if you keep working at it and it really lets you know your doing something outside the ordinary. You know your really accepting another culture and trying to understand it from the inside out.

I love eating with chop sticks it makes it really special. Well, French is mental chopsticks. The Chopsticks of the Mind.


Today's Song of the Day is "La Femme d'Argent " by Air off their 1998 Album "Moon Safari."

Crazy Fact: These Guys are from France. I'm not sure if I told you that's where I'm going. (!!!)

njoy

The Old Country

Tomorrow I pick up my P A S S P O R T.

Having never left this chunk of crust I've never needed one before. I'm totally getting on a plane and flying over the ocean to the old country. Jeesus fuck!

I think if I let it sink in my heart will stop.


Today's Song of the Day is "Paris, Texas" by Ry Cooder off his 1989 Soundtrack of Wim Wenders movie of the same name "Paris, Texas."

Crazy Fact: Ry Cooder played on Let It Bleed and Sticky Fingers by the Stones.

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Healing the Routine Canal.

Wow. Routine is a hard thing to maintain. Well kind of. It's like this. There comes a point in your life when things settle into a pattern, a comfortable pattern, an important and productive pattern, then you get a new job or new house or new friend and everything has to shift. Like an ice-flow. Some things are squeezed out and submerged to make room. That's just the way of things.

It's odd to see what drops out. It's at moments you are forced to re-evaluate the importance of certain behaviors. And the routine doesn't lie, certain things just drop out and you don't really think about it anymore. It's a crucial moment, because it's easy to make the wrong decisions at this point. Then months later you realized there is someone you really miss, or it been 6 months since you've read a book or you haven't hiked or biked or been to the gym or played hockey or took some time to yourself in 3 weeks.

Must remember solitude. If you don't these bad choices can go unchecked (at the very minimum.)

Must remember solitude.


Today's Song of the Day is "Standing In The Shower... Thinking" by Jane's Addiction off their 1988 album "Nothing's Shocking."

Crazy Fact: bassist Eric Avery would not participate in any of the Jane's Addiction re-unions (there's been 3 of them)

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Planes.

I want a parachute.

I wonder if they'd let me get on with full parachute gear on. It would make me feel a little safer as much as everyone else on the plane feel a little more nervous.

Or how awesome would that be:


Flight Attendant: A refreshement?

Me: Sure I'll have a water.

Flight Attendant: Is there anything else I can get you?

Me: A parachute, thanks.

Flight Attendant: ...


It's really not in my best interest NOT to wear a parachute but dollars to Mutha Fukkin' Doughnuts, it I was wearing one I'd get pulled into a the little room and interrogated.


Them: Why are you wearing that parachute?

Me: Not to answer a question with a question, but, Where the HELL else I am I going to wear it?


Jeesus.


Today's Song of the Day is "Parachutes" by Coldplay off their 2000 album "Parachutes."

Crazy Fact: Lead Singer Chris Martin frequently battled nasty colds and voice exhaustion throughout 2001, which led Coldplay to cancel a series of American dates and scrap a European tour.

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DENNIS!

Paris Week Continues:
Ok, so now I'm gonna go to Paris AND I'm gonna see Dennis!

DENNIS!

That is fucking NUTS! 14 months of dennislessness comes to an end. wow. Mon DIEU!


Today's Song of the Day is "Rose Rouge" by St. Germain off their 2000 Album "Tourist."

Crazy Fact: We've Rented an Apartment on Rue Servandoni which is off St. Germain. (I think.)

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What a View! (Don't Look Down.)

Life is peaking. This peak is so high I'm a little afraid of the enevitable drop. Or maybe life's been in the crapper for a really fucking long time and it's going to stay at this level. hmmm. Proabably, a little of A, a little of B.

I am going to paris.
I have a girlfriend.

These two things are amazing and unrelated. I'm going to try to to think about either too much or my head might pop off. If I think about both at the same time my limbs detach and dance around the room intermittenly playing keep away with my head. It's extremely painful, so I'm doing that as little as possible.

I think I'm going to die on the steps of the Musée du Louvre, if not, then I will in front of Leonardo. Promise.
So bury me beside Jim Morrison.

It's Parisian week here on Song of the Day. Our team is tirelessly collecting and carefully selecting the best of the best (actually of whatever the hell I've got.)

(Here's Yesterday's Crazy Fact: In 1927, Count Basie played piano at a silent movie house to make ends meet.)


Today's Song of the Day is "Love Me Two Times" by The Doors off there 1967 Album "Strange Days" (I think.)

Crazy Fact: Jim Morrison (who OD'd in Paris and is buried there) is the 4th most visited monuement in the whole city.

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Je suis une Gateau Chocolat pour mon amis.

oh

my

god


I'm going to
paris
in T W O W E E K S .

I have no words yet... except thank you celery. You are making one of my dreams come true.


Today's Song of the Day is "April in Paris" by Count Basie recorded in 1955.

Crazy fact: I'm going to paris.

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Cold Feet (Part Two)

That's the tequila was for, it was ball enhancer. With every swig I was closer to my big be-nutted viking ancestors. Well, between the hot tub and the tequila, it was pretty clear my babied north american self had to get there through mexico though. enh whateva (swig. glug. swig)

Pif: This tequila is really fucking good. It doesn't have that nasty tear off your face thing to it.

Ali: It's good isn't it? My girlfriend brought it from Mexico.

Caleb: Ok lets do this!

We are pumped. It's like a conga line of steaming mostly naked skinny men. as all seven of us jump out of the tub one after another and gingerly half run on the icy snow through the cold night. whooping and screeching are way down the 30 or so meters to the dock.

I cruise down at top barefoot don't stub your toe speed and I stop dead on the edge of the dock. I peer down into the black cold lake. The moon is nearly full and casting and ghostly cold snowy glow across the lake and into the mountain that surround us. I stare at that water and try to convince a couple billion years of evolution that THIS is a good idea. There is no convincing. The boys are chanting "do it, doo it DOOO it!" as an act of pure will (fueled up on the finest tequila I've ever had in all my drinking days) I leap into the void.

My brain was instantly filled with every chemical it has at it's disposal, and every gland in every corner of my body pumped something out, adrenaline, dopamine, endorphins, (all just use the all inclusive 'whatever' at this point) I didn't even feel the cold. Everything they say is true. it's amazing. truly. I went back inside and started jumping and howling and screaming wildly like a new man re-birthed. Everyone was in the exact same emotional condition at that moment. That emotional condition is "!!!"

Finally I look down. Not only did I not feel the cold, but I also didn't feel my toe nail pulled up, bend backwards and bleeding. I wonder when I did that? I continue howling and shaking defiant fists at valhalla. I'm totally unable to snap out of it. I look down again, yuck, I should fix that. I keep beating my chest and yelling at the gods in a euphoria of indescribable victory. I look down. Fuck it's bleeding everywhere. eww. I stand empowered, triumphantly calling down the wraith of the heavens. Indestructible, with fear laying defeated, bleeding at my feet... literally, oh that's MY foot. shit time to clean this up.

After about 15 minutes the buzz started to slip, I returned to my mortal, fearful form and nervously bandage up my blackening toe, thinking only of the flesh-eating disease.

Fear's vacation was welcome, even if it was a short one.


Today's Song of the Day is "Cold Brains" by Beck off his 1998 album "Mutations."

Crazy Fact: Beck Handsen's grandfather Al Hansen was an important figure in the Fluxus art movement, best known for launching the career of Yoko Ono.

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Cold Feet.

A cabin in New Hampshire will teach you a few things. I didn't really know there was such a thing as good tequila. Well there is.

Caleb: Pif! Go out and crank up the hot tub. We are gonna do this!

Pif: You got it Pontiac!

I pull on my enormous boots and tear out into the freezing (minus 15) night to 'Crank that mutha up' Predictably, I trip over god knows what and whack my knee harder then I've ever heard anything get smacked against ANYTHING, ever. Like a wrecking ball of pain into my soul, my central nervous was so stunned by the pain all I could do was freeze in place and grimace in blinding pain. Then after a moment, like my entire being was inhaling, preparing itself for this, I howl. Primal, like a beast, like a mutha fucka, I howl. Surprisingly it helps. I stumble the last few feet to the hot tub, realize I have absolutely no idea how to 'crank this mutha' so I whine and limp and stumble my way back to the main cabin.

Wren: What the hell did you do to yourself?!

Pif: FUCK! I an invisible monster of Pain just fucking kicked me in the knees. It hurts I'll live. The water will fix me.

Caleb: Let's do this.

We make ready. And all seven of us head through the cold to the near steaming hot tub. The steam coming out of it is like a smokestack into the night. I can't even see the other side. I start throwing snow through the steam cloud just to see who yelps from the other side.

Ariel and Ali: Hey!

fun. I do it again.

Rob and Caleb: Hey fucker! (snow splatters back at me in an act of vengence)

very fun.

Wren: (shaking a bottle of tequila in my face) Power up, 'cause when you hit that water your going to need it.

About ten minutes before pounded my knee into the most mysterious and hardest substance in the known solar-system I had run out into the bitter cold and broke all the ice around the dock for one inevitability. You guessed it. To go jump in the lake. all seven of us. I hope I have the balls to jump in and I hope I don't leave them in the lake when I get out. It makes me wonder if it's actually possible to freeze them off. We will see.

(to be continued...)


Today's Song of the Day is "Real Cool Time" by The Stooges off their 1969 debut album "The Stooges."

Crazy Fact: Iggy Pop (the point this song came out he was known as Iggy Stooge) and Tom Waits have a scene together in Jim Jarmush's new film Coffee and Cigarettes and it's worth the watch.

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Back to Bush Country

I'm going to say in Abe Lincon's mom's cabin with the... I'd like to say boys, but not this time, the men (6 of them) (yeah you better appreciate it you fucker!) get my geek on and see what hell breaks loose.

That's all I had a very LARGE day and sleep is claiming it's share of it. Looking forward to going, looking forward to coming back. How great is that?

If die on the way there I just want you all to know that...


Today's Song of the Day is "Old Man Mose" by Louis Armstrong released in 1935.

Crazy Fact: Louis, generally known as the grandfather of Jazz wrote this song and Hated all jazz after swing.

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My Jimmy Hats.

'My jimmy hats.' I love that phrase. When shit is street and I don't get it or kinda get it makes me laugh out of control. Like a your so cool It's killing me sort of laugh. This is one of the many reason to listen to Hip Hop.

Anyway I was in New Hampshire in September with Caleb and Mike and Wren and Robin and C, M and I went for a Booze run to 'Tax-Free Booze Heaven' (no Tax in NH) We are looking around shopping for booze and I forgot my wallet and looking as young as I do I wasn't going to risk buying anything. So we select our boozey cheapnesses and walk up the counter and the american lady says "can I see you id's"


Caleb: yep

Mike: sure

American Lady: What about you?

ME: ME!?

American Lady: Yes, you.

ME: I'm not buying anything.

American Lady: You touched it?

Me: What?

American Lady: I saw you touch it.

Me: I- I- I

American Lady: I was watching.

Me, Caleb and Mike in unison: ...!

Me: ...well ...I forgot my wallet.

American Lady: I'm sorry. I can't sell to you.

Me, Caleb and Mike in unison: ...!

American Lady: You'll have to leave.

Me and Caleb in unison: ...!

Mike: He's 31! Are you telling me you don't think he's 19?

American Lady: He maybe 19, but the legal age is 21.

Mike: ...f u c k...


We leave. We go next door. We buy booze.

Americans, free and easy with guns and hard as nails with their booze. The worst thing was I didn't leave my wallet at the cabin, I left it in the car. double doe!


Today's Song of the Day is "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" by A Tribe Called Quest off "People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm" released in 1990.

Crazy Fact: Q-Tip had previously guested on several tracks from De La Soul's 3 Feet High and Rising and later appeared on Deee-Lite's "Groove Is in the Heart"

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People are Tricky.

People react to things in unexpected ways. They think they can cover up their emotions. Well they can, mostly because people let them operate under that guise. The fact that people let them gives many of us the false feeling that we are capable of hiding our emotional reactions, like we are smarter than the rest. What's really strange is when you call someone's bluff, When you say, I saw that. If you can pin them down and talk about it you can get an insight into that person and that moment. Then the present can be much more present, more valuable. It's exploration can be richly engauging, much more interesting than what I'm used to. I'm used to thinking mostly in hindsight, safe ol' hindsight, 'Yup, that's what I shoulda done, I guess it's too late now, better luck next time.'

Interesting. I think times they are a-changin.' We will see. I'll let you know how it turns out.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Saturday Boy" by Billy Bragg off his 1987 album "Back To Basics."

Crazy Fact: After leaving the Army, he began working at a record store; while he was working, he was writing songs.

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Disappearing Sundays.

That's what Sunday's are for. Disappearing. Turn off the cell phone. Go somewhere no one can find you, see if you can find something you've over looked. You maybe surprised. Life moves at a tight clip. Things are easily missed or dropped. It the only way to notice the subtleties. Take the time to stop time, jump into the void, remove the distractions look hard into places previously slighted, even if was unintended, when you stop you may discover a few things, some surprising things. Probably find some things have been misplaced.

Take a Houdini Sunday.


Today's Song of the Day is "Harpsichord Concerto in F minor: ii. Largo" Performed on piano by Glenn Gould and the Columbia Symphony Orchestra, Conducted by Leonard Bernstein, recorded in 1957, Composed by Johann Sebastian Bach in 1719.

Crazy Fact: The 1955 Columbia Masterworks recording of Bach's Goldberg Variations, has never been out of print in the 50 years since its first release. wow.

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Factory Quality Scratches

Dude I bought the monster version of Raging Bull at Her Magesties Vinyl and it was SCRATCHED! like Seriously scratched... unplayabley scratched. yikes. I don't have a recipt. Does that matter anymore? I'm taking the fucker back and they better take it back. dude.

Today's Song of the Day is "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel off their final 1970 album "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

Crazy Fact: Paul Simon is REALLY short and is in Annie Hall (that one wasn't scratched)

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When TV is Good.

The Daily Show is so Damn good. I think this clip says it all about modern media. IT's fantastic. It's says the only people free to say the truth are those without the responisiblity to do so. It says the newspapers are getting there news from the irresponsible. When there not, there are just mouth pieces of Powerfull, regurgitating their every word. Acceptance and Access leads to complicity.

Reporters can now be jailed for refusal to betray there sources. What? didn't anyone fucking SEE the Insider? How is it possible to reveal the truth against the powerful without protection from them? Oh the don't WANT you to reveal the truth about them.

What kind of retarded society do we live in where the law is held back by the common truth. I wish I was a dinosaur.

Yes, and I know this song is about Cocaine Don't care.


Today's Song of the Day is "Master Of Puppets" by Metallica off there 1986 album "Master Of Puppets."

Crazy Fact: There Bassist Cliff Burton was killed in a Bus Accident. (should've been Lars Ulrich... more proof there is no god)

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Terrified Beyond the Capacity for Rational Thought

Just fucking shoot me. I can't deal with this so today I'm handing off to Bill Moyers.
---------------------------------------

No Tomorrow
by Bill Moyers

One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress. For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power in Washington.

Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues hold stoutly to a worldview despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality. When ideology and theology couple, their offspring are not always bad but they are always blind. And there is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the facts.

Remember James Watt, President Ronald Reagan's first secretary of the interior? My favorite online environmental journal, the ever-engaging Grist, reminded us recently of how James Watt told the U.S. Congress that protecting natural resources was unimportant in light of the imminent return of Jesus Christ. In public testimony he said, "after the last tree is felled, Christ will come back."

Beltway elites snickered. The press corps didn't know what he was talking about. But James Watt was serious. So were his compatriots out across the country. They are the people who believe the Bible is literally true - one-third of the American electorate, if a recent Gallup poll is accurate. In this past election several million good and decent citizens went to the polls believing in the rapture index.

That's right - the rapture index. Google it and you will find that the best-selling books in America today are the 12 volumes of the "Left Behind" series written by the Christian fundamentalist and religious-right warrior Timothy LaHaye. These true believers subscribe to a fantastical theology concocted in the 19th century by a couple of immigrant preachers who took disparate passages from the Bible and wove
them into a narrative that has captivated the imagination of millions of Americans.

Its outline is rather simple, if bizarre (the British writer George Monbiot recently did a brilliant dissection of it and I am indebted to him for adding to my own understanding): Once Israel has occupied the rest of its "biblical lands," legions of the antichrist will attack it, triggering a final showdown in the valley of Armageddon.

As the Jews who have not been converted are burned, the messiah will return for the rapture. True believers will be lifted out of their clothes and transported to Heaven, where, seated next to the right hand of God, they will watch their political and religious opponents suffer plagues of boils, sores, locusts and frogs during the several years of tribulation that follow.

I'm not making this up. Like Monbiot, I've read the literature. I've reported on these people, following some of them from Texas to the West Bank. They are sincere, serious and polite as they tell you they feel called to help bring the rapture on as fulfillment of biblical prophecy. That's why they have declared solidarity with Israel and the Jewish settlements and backed up their support with money and volunteers. It's why the invasion of Iraq for them was a warm-up act, predicted in the Book of Revelations where four angels "which are bound in the great river Euphrates will be released to slay the third part of man." A war with Islam in the Middle East is not something to be feared but welcomed - an essential conflagration on the road to redemption. The last time I Googled it, the rapture index stood at 144 - just one point below the critical threshold when the whole thing will blow, the son of God will return, the righteous will enter Heaven and sinners will be condemned to eternal hellfire.

So what does this mean for public policy and the environment? Go to Grist to read a remarkable work of reporting by the journalist Glenn Scherer - "The Road to Environmental Apocalypse." Read it and you will see how millions of Christian fundamentalists may believe that environmental destruction is not only to be disregarded but actually welcomed - even hastened - as a sign of the coming apocalypse.

As Grist makes clear, we're not talking about a handful of fringe lawmakers who hold or are beholden to these beliefs. Nearly half the U.S. Congress before the recent election - 231 legislators in total and more since the election - are backed by the religious right.

Forty-five senators and 186 members of the 108th Congress earned 80 to 100 percent approval ratings from the three most influential Christian right advocacy groups. They include Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, Assistant Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Conference Chair Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, Policy Chair Jon Kyl of Arizona, House Speaker Dennis Hastert and Majority Whip Roy Blunt. The only Democrat to score 100 percent with the Christian coalition was Sen. Zell Miller of Georgia, who recently quoted from the biblical book of Amos on the Senate floor: "The days will come, sayeth the Lord God, that I will send a famine in the land." He seemed to be relishing the thought.

And why not? There's a constituency for it. A 2002 Time-CNN poll found that 59 percent of Americans believe that the prophecies found in the book of Revelations are going to come true. Nearly one-quarter think the Bible predicted the 9/11 attacks. Drive across the country with your radio tuned to the more than 1,600 Christian radio stations, or in the motel turn on some of the 250 Christian TV stations, and you can hear some of this end-time gospel. And you will come to understand why people under the spell of such potent prophecies cannot be expected, as Grist puts it, "to worry about the environment. Why care about the earth, when
the droughts, floods, famine and pestilence brought by ecological collapse are signs of the apocalypse foretold in the Bible? Why care about global climate change when you and yours will be rescued in the rapture?

And why care about converting from oil to solar when the same God who performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes can whip up a few billion barrels of light crude with a word?"

Because these people believe that until Christ does return, the Lord will provide. One of their texts is a high school history book, "America's Providential History." You'll find there these words: "The secular or socialist has a limited-resource mentality and views the world as a pie ... that needs to be cut up so everyone can get a piece." However, "[t]he Christian knows that the potential in God is unlimited
and that there is no shortage of resources in God's earth ... while many secularists view the world as overpopulated, Christians know that God has made the earth sufficiently large with plenty of resources to accommodate all of the people."

No wonder Karl Rove goes around the White House whistling that militant hymn, "Onward Christian Soldiers." He turned out millions of the foot soldiers on Nov. 2, including many who have made the apocalypse a powerful driving force in modern American politics.

It is hard for the journalist to report a story like this with any credibility. So let me put it on a personal level. I myself don't know how to be in this world without expecting a confident future and getting up every morning to do what I can to bring it about. So I have always been an optimist. Now, however, I think of my friend on Wall Street whom I once asked: "What do you think of the market?" "I'm optimistic," he answered. "Then why do you look so worried?" And he answered: "Because I am not sure my optimism is justified."

I'm not, either. Once upon a time I agreed with Eric Chivian and the Center for Health and the Global Environment that people will protect the natural environment when they realize its importance to their health and to the health and lives of their children. Now I am not so sure. It's not that I don't want to believe that - it's just that I read the news and connect the dots.

I read that the administrator of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has declared the election a mandate for President Bush on the environment. This for an administration:

That wants to rewrite the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act and the Endangered Species Act protecting rare plant and animal species and their habitats, as well as the National Environmental Policy Act, which requires the government to judge beforehand whether actions might damage natural resources.

That wants to relax pollution limits for ozone; eliminate vehicle tailpipe inspections, and ease pollution standards for cars, sport-utility vehicles and diesel-powered big trucks and heavy equipment.

That wants a new international audit law to allow corporations to keep certain information about environmental problems secret from the public. That wants to drop all its new-source review suits against polluting, coal-fired power plants and weaken consent decrees reached earlier with coal companies. That wants to open the Arctic [National] Wildlife Refuge to drilling and increase drilling in Padre Island National Seashore, the longest stretch of undeveloped barrier island in the world and the last great coastal wild land in America.

I read the news just this week and learned how the Environmental Protection Agency had planned to spend $9 million - $2 million of it from the administration's friends at the American Chemistry Council - to pay poor families to continue to use pesticides in their homes. These pesticides have been linked to neurological damage in children, but instead of ordering an end to their use, the government and the industry were going to offer the families $970 each, as well as a camcorder and
children's clothing, to serve as guinea pigs for the study.

I read all this in the news.

I read the news just last night and learned that the administration's friends at the International Policy Network, which is supported by Exxon Mobil and others of like mind, have issued a new report that climate change is "a myth, sea levels are not rising" [and] scientists who believe catastrophe is possible are "an embarrassment."

I not only read the news but the fine print of the recent appropriations bill passed by Congress, with the obscure (and obscene) riders attached to it: a clause removing all endangered species protections from pesticides; language prohibiting judicial review for a forest in Oregon; a waiver of environmental review for grazing permits on public lands; a rider pressed by developers to weaken protection for crucial habitats in California.

I read all this and look up at the pictures on my desk, next to the computer - pictures of my grandchildren. I see the future looking back at me from those photographs and I say, "Father, forgive us, for we know not what we do." And then I am stopped short by the thought: "That's not right. We do know what we are doing. We are stealing their future. Betraying their trust. Despoiling their world."

And I ask myself: Why? Is it because we don't care? Because we are greedy? Because we have lost our capacity for outrage, our ability to sustain indignation at injustice? What has happened to our moral imagination?

On the heath Lear asks Gloucester: "How do you see the world?" And Gloucester, who is blind, answers: "I see it feelingly.'"

I see it feelingly.

The news is not good these days. I can tell you, though, that as a journalist I know the news is never the end of the story. The news can be the truth that sets us free - not only to feel but to fight for the future we want. And the will to fight is the antidote to despair, the cure for cynicism, and the answer to those faces looking back at me from those photographs on my desk. What we need is what the ancient
Israelites called hochma - the science of the heart ... the capacity to see, to feel and then to act as if the future depended on you.

Believe me, it does.

Bill Moyers was host until recently of the weekly public affairs series "NOW with Bill Moyers" on PBS. This article is adapted from AlterNet, where it first appeared. The text is taken from Moyers' remarks upon receiving the Global Environmental Citizen Award from the Center for Health and the Global Environment at Harvard Medical School.


Today's Song of the Day is "Jesus Gonna Be Here" by Tom Waits off his 1992 Album "Bone Machine."

Crazy Fact: (see Above)

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Hallmark Sux Dix

Ok as we know this 'celebration' known as Valentine's Day is all about Guilt and fear for those of you with Significant others. To those of us with insignificant others it's about shame and self-loathing, a painful reminder of our lonesome and socially deficient status. yum. two scoops for me.

So I've decided to embrace it and break my own heart. If I don't cry by the end of the night i'm a total failure. I'm going to listen to every cheesey 'just gets to me' love song I can find and I got a heartbreaker of a film or so Cel tells me (Before Sunset.) I think that should do the trick. If that doesn't work I go through old photos and put on the break up music. wow that one should really do the trick. ok ok but if that doesn't work I'll have to put on Lord of the Rings, that works everytime. I don't know why but it does. If some could tell me why you'll save me a tonne of money in Psychotherapy. We at the pif institute of navel gazing would really appreciate any tips.

Fortunately, I have a cute Brown furry Four legged Valentine. DAMN he's cute!

Ok time to get to the cryin'!


Today's Song of the Day is "Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)" performed by Ella Fitzgerald off her 1956 album "The Cole Porter Songbook" composed by Cole Porter in 1928.

Crazy Fact: Cole Porter studied law and music at Harvard, all courtesy of a rich grandfather. His grandfather was appalled Porter would consider music as a career and never forgave him.

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Two Reasons.

I'm just trying to get this song out of my head, it's driving me nuts. And it's a song for Fiver, my brownest and furriest valentine.


Today's Song of the Day is "Black Eyed Dog" by Nick Drake of his 1986 album "Fruit Tree."

Crazy Fact: This album was released long after his death.

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Just Do It Solo.

I don't like Bob Dylan with a band as much as Bobby D solo. The band clutters it all up. Anyway here, listen to this to illustrate my point. There's usually all these asshole musicians playing along, i'm sure there are very good at plaing their instruments, but it's not a band. Lets get real. That Rob Zimmerman is a one man show, whoever goes gets on stage with him, that's cool but I could take or leave them. I'm not here to see them. Actually if I had my druthers I'd boot them. How could they be a band, there a bunch of hired guns, who doubtless idealize him, as well the should. but come on,

"Hey Bob, how about it we do one of mine for a change."
"Your fired."


Today's Song of the Day is "Just Like A Woman" by Bob Dylan off his 1998 album "Bob Dylan Live, 1966: The Royal Albert Hall Concert."

Crazy Fact: Bob Dylan just released an Autobiography and did his first interview in decades on 60 minutes in January of this year to support it. I saw it a very cool interview.

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A is for Asshole J is for Jackass

I'm tired of jackasses infiltrating my life. I have little patience for them treating me and/or my friends like shit. Jackasses. And I'm not talking about those friendly MTV jackasses hurting themselves for our amusement. I'm talking about full of shit Jackasses that talk out there asses and believe the shit they say. They'll say whatever sounds like the right thing to say and believe it. That's the killer. They convince themselves, that's what makes them so believable. Such Jackasses.

An Asshole, doesn't believe his lies but KNOWS he's lying. Actually I think that's a bastard. Hence the Lying Bastard. I'm not even sure what an asshole is... insensitive and belligerent, combative and loud, maybe? Maybe I don't know. I guess I need to understand my asshole. I need a mirror. I've hoid of navel-gazing, but this is re-DICK-u-lass.


Today's Song of the Day is "The House That Jack Built" by Aretha Franklin released in 1968.

Crazy Fact: Aretha Franklin had two kids by the age of 16. AND is a high school drop-out, y'aa-aall!

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I'll Get You For This Trebec!

Oh my god. Celebrity Jeopardy is no joke:

"When Teri Garr appeared on "Jeopardy" in '99, she tied with Naomi Judd for second place behind Jane Curtin -- Teri and Naomi finished with $0, and no one answered the Final Jeopardy question correctly: "For your information, this TV sit-com that debuted in '88 is the longest-running sit-com still on the air," Naomi said "The Cosby Show," Teri said "Seinfeld," and Jane said "Married ... with Children," but the right answer was "Murphy Brown."

(I got it from Here: www.swinginchicks.com/workinitfordaddy.htm)

I really like Teri Garr if for no other reason than Young Frankenstein, but dude. oh dude. AND She was once dated Elvis Presley. DUDE!


Today's Song of the Day is "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" composed by lyricist Roy Turk and composer Lou Handman performed here by Elvis Presley released as a B-side in 1960.

Crazy Fact: it's Elvis! You've heard it all. He should've died in the army not on the throne.

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3 out of 10 is bad

Do this. We know nothing and by 'we' i mean 'I' about Canadian music. I'd try to make up for it by making it Canada Week on SOTD but I don't have the stomach to send out Helix, Payolas and Zappacosta tunes for the rest of the week. Oh god if you can name me a worse Canadian 'artist' that Zappacosta, I'd like to hear it no no I mean see it. If it's that bad seeing is enough.. really.

Honestly I had trouble filling out that stupid quiz I was bored to tears. As soon as I read names like David Foster, Master T and "Canada’s Polka King" well my eyes were rolling so exaggeratedly I could hear myself get dizzy. god 'Master T'! Jesus! I want to say the Master and The Mister duke it out for the true 'T' title. I guess I really just wanna see Master T get the crap kicked out of him, I don't care if's it's by a pack of kids.


Today's Song of the Day is "The Seeker" by The Who off their 2000 compliation "BBC Sessions."

Crazy Fact: In 1965, Daltrey claimed he would kill himself before reaching 30 because he didn't want to get old. He still performs this, explaining that the song is about an attitude, not a physical age. I saw him in an infomerical for a 60's music compliation and he is all attitude. all attitude.

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Steve Martin is a Jerk.

Dude. I've been let down by my childhood a few times recently. For Example: I thought Steve Martin 'lost it.' dude, I'm afraid to say, he may never of had it. I thought 'Father of the Bride' and 'Parenthood' were the shameful products of a career gone sour, they may just be products of a lame lame man. I done gone 'n' growed up I reckon. shit. I'm a little scared to see 'the jerk' I thought that was the funniest movie ever fro years, but I also thought that of 'the man with two brains' not so funny. dude. Me 'n' Cel couldn't even finish it.

You mean... it was never good. That's too much for me to handle. I never ever ever had bad taste. I'm Sure of it. SURE OF IT!


Today's Song of the Day is "Livin' On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi off their 1986 album "Slippery When Wet."

Crazy Fact: Desmond Child wrote this song and also wrote "Who Let the Dogs Out" and "Livin' la Vida Loca" and "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" this I find crazy... ok how about Jon Bon Jovi's real name is Jon Bongiovi... BONG!

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It's Been a Long Time.

I'm writing again. my life fell into a whole unexpectedly. oops. I never seem to look where I'm going. can I get an 'amen!' Am I the only one? no. c'mon. do it you losers. anyway.

my feet are stinky. At the height of my procrastination I laundered my slippers. that's a painful thing to admit but it's true. My feet were stinky so I laundered my slippers. laundered... that's the only way to wash slippers really. laundered. And I had buttered scones and tea on the trolley. laundered. really that word makes about as much sense as me laundering slippers.

The Other Half of Me: HEY PIF... YEAH YOU IDIOT BOY... if your feet smell wash your FEET, dumb-ass, not the slippers. FUCK! How did I get stuck with you of all people.

Well anyway... nothings working I washed my boot liners too. they still stink.

The Other Half: ... oh ...my ...god. (long angry pause) FEET!

Maybe it's the carpet?

The Other Half of Me: for GOD SAKE man! FEET! FEET!


Todays' Song of the Day "Sexy Boy" by Air off their 1998 album" Moon Safari."

Crazy Fact: They did the soundtrack to the Sofia Coppola film The Virgin Suicides in early 2000. not crazy enuf. but I don't care. I got nuthin'

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